J. Biebs, And Nothing More

Biebs went behind my back and released this new perfume and subsequent commercial without alerting me first. But then I saw it, and I understood why.



I think this explains itself.

And on that day, the world was reborn from a "Someday"-less infant to a poorly edited, nonsensical, but likely sweet-smelling man. Err, waifish teenage boy, rather.

The Sunday Morning Couch Potato Blues

I spend most of my time sitting down on the sofa. Actually, sorry, did I say sitting? I really meant lying. I go from lying in bed to lying on the sofa. It's the good life.

Well, it would be if I didn't have exorbitant amounts of homework to do over the next week. (Heck yes, New York Public Schools getting the whole week off. Best state, confirmed.) So whilst I sob in a corner and procrastinate on my English reading(s), Latin translating, Economic journaling, Spanish studying, and Physics note-taking, here is a slew of songs to help you cope with your own Sunday weepies. (Eww. Weepies is a stupid word. And also a band.)



Create a playlist at MixPod.com

1. "Bratty B" by Best Coast: I love this song! It's so short, and it hits its stride right at the end, but regardless it still manages to be one of my favorites on the album. They played this song in last Thursday's episode of Skins (the British one, not that unholy American abomination), and I was so excited that I had to pause it and listen to the song a couple of times before I was able to continue watching the episode. Yeah, I'm a little obsessed.
2. "Pick Me Up" by the Format: My favorite Format song is "Oceans." I've listened to that song nearly 70 times. Love it. You would think that my love for that song would inspire me to listen to the band's other songs, then, right? Well, not really. I get very attached and then don't care to explore my other options. I had a handful of other songs by the band ("She Doesn't Get It," "Inches and Falling," "Wait, Wait, Wait," and "I'm Actual," which are all awesome) but that was it. Recently I acquired a couple of their other songs, and this one is my favorite. You're welcome for the needless back story, now enjoy the song.
3. "Miami" by Foals: Love this. "Would you/be there/be there/be there for me?/In Miami?" This song is such a killer singalong. I also love the synths, or what I assume are the synths. Really hard to tell these days. This song is so smooth, like some extremely charming guy who ensnares all of the girls at the club. Like Tony! (British version, of course.)
4. "Composure" by Warpaint: Warpaint is a really cool band. It's four girls making some intense, inventive music. They make sounds that I didn't even know you could make with just a guitar or bass. This song, like "Miami," is fun to sing along with, especially that beginning. Keep my! Keep my! Keep my! My what? And then it gets really fast and I can imagine people freaking out at a party while dancing to it. Or maybe it could be the music accompanying an extremely scary chase scene. Such a good song.
5. "Hard Believer" by First Aid Kit: You know, 3 out of these 5 songs have been by ladies. I used to hate music by women. Oh, how times have changed! These sisters are really young (well, older than me, but still) and already really talented and accomplished. I dig this song a ton. I keep singing, "Love is tough! Time is rough!" Their songs are like easy listening, because they just come in and out of your consciousness, listenable without taking over everything, and I really appreciate that. Even though they're not overpowering, this song and also "Ghost Town," which I love, always get stuck in my head. They stay with you, these girls.
6. "One Time (Live Acoustic)" by Justin Bieber: Hey, Biebs, haven't seen you in awhile. I guess you've been busy promoting that little movie of yours, and being surprisingly entertaining at the Grammys. That's cool, that's cool. This acoustic version of my FAVORITE Biebs song is pretty adorable. I like that he dedicates it to Cammy Elizabeth from Virginia, although Cammy Elizabeth is a really terrible name. What is this? A Scholastics book?
7. "Tiger Mountain Peasant Song" by Fleet Foxes: This is a live version, but it's still really good. I think this song is just so pleasant; I always call it "Pleasant Song" in my head, although that's not exactly intentional. I just misread the title. But "Pleasant Song" works because this song is so unobtrusive and lovely and nice, I like it a lot. I think it's my favorite song by these guys. Apparently they have a new album coming out. That's nice. Even though a lot of people think they're derivative (or maybe that others are deriving from them), I don't mind because they're great.
8. "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" by Iron & Wine: I've been listening to this a lot lately. I like the imagery and the melody is so sweet and calm. This song was in Twilight, but let's ignore that fact, okay? Although after I saw the scene where they play this song I couldn't listen to it for awhile because I kept thinking about Robert Pattinson' disgusting face, not to even mention Kristen Stewart and her stale, non-existent acting. Ugh. That connection aside this song is wonderful. "Now I'm a fat house cat..."
9. "We Could Love" by Cavil at Rest: Cavil at Rest is what Local Natives was originally called. This song reminds me of a less rhythmic "Airplanes," but I mean that in a good way. Very mellow. All of these songs are mellow! Except the first few, but still. I love the opening line: "I could say that love was/created/with you in mind." Also the chorus: "Don't/you/tell me/that life/isn't/beautiful/when we're/all/loving/each other!" This sounds a lot like the summer to me, and specifically the summer in 1960s Atlantic City, or some other place with lots of cabarets. I don't know why. I think it's the light drumming. Also, I have an overactive imagination.
10. "Rose Garden" by Shad: And we end on a slightly more upbeat note. Shad is an awesome Canadian rapper. I'm not a huge rap fan but this song and "The Old Prince Still Lives at Home" are my jams. My favorite part of this song, though, is not the rapping, but the girl singing, "I didn't come here for a rose garden!" I love how it's sung at the end, it's just so nice. Shad's songs always put me in a good mood, so I appreciate him, especially after a slew of somewhat less uplifting songs.

So that's the deal. Enjoy the music.

100TH POST YAY!

Hello and welcome to FWSF's 100th Post Spectacular!

...Just kidding. While this is indeed our 100th post, I wouldn't call it spectacular in anyway. It is exciting though! For me! And hopefully for you!

When I had to make this blog for a class assignment back in April I didn't really expect to keep doing it almost 7 months later, but here we are, with over 7,000 page views since late May. I'd say that's pretty good for a blog with virtually no advertising, written by a 16 year old who mostly references things that no one else would understand except her for they are inside jokes she has with herself.

And while most of my comments/followers are my friends, it's nice to see that I've gotten the occasional anonymous comment from someone I presumably don't know. (2 of the 3 were pretty mean but I'll take that as a sign that they think this blog is a lot more substantial than it actually is!)

So instead of doing anything really cool, I'm just going to give you some links to some of my favorite posts on this site.

The first post: Okay, this isn't really one of my "favorite" posts, but where would we be without it? Probably at only 99 posts. And that is a major difference that I never want to think about, ever. (Also, now you heathens can stop asking me about where the title comes from because it's REALLY ANNOYING and I explained it already in this post, geez!)

The second post: I had a lot of fun writing that one. It was entertaining, it didn't feel like a chore as writing posts often does these days, and I even tried to start a running gag with it. I should start making fun of Devon Werkheiser again. I think I kind of replaced him with Justin Bieber. (Also, I think this post is solely responsible for the decent traffic I get from Denmark. Wait 'til those guys find out that I don't know a THING of Danish!)

The Glee rant: Glee and I have a really unhealthy relationship. Use this post as your primer. Also this post is the reason that my blog shows on on Ask.com under "Examples of Satire." Is it self-obsessed to quote your own writing? Good thing I never claimed to be anything otherwise!:

This show just tries to do too much in too short of a time. It tries so hard. It's like that annoying girl in your tenth grade Earth Science class who is like, "Yeah, I do this, this, and this, and I'm awesome, and I'm so good at everything I do, because I do a lot and that makes me awesome and yeah and stuff and um, crud, do we have a test today, because I totally did not study, like, at all" and then they go and they suck at everything they try to do, and you would applaud them for their effort if they weren't so annoying, and then you have to be fake friends with them because you don't want to be mean and then you go and you take to your little blog and you go and you rant like crazy and everyone has no choice but to agree with you because you are so irritated. Yeah. It's exactly like that.

The beginning of many J. Biebz related posts: I had so much fun watching th videos for and just writing this post in general. I love ranting. Justin Bieber is such an easy target, but I don't hate him. Why should I? He's never wronged me. HE ONLY LOVES. Seriously, he's never written a song about anything BUT loving people. Why y'all hatin'? WHY

On that note, the post about "Baby": I think it's important to find yourself amusing. Although not in an obnoxious way. But still, this post is a perfect example of me finding myself amusing.

MADE: I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I had a heck of a good time watching this episode of MADE (twice) and writing about it. This post is insanely mean but I don't really care. I like the title of it. YEAAAAAH!

The Persona 4 comic post: I love that Persona 4 comic, almost as much as the game itself. It really is amazing. So that's why I'm happy that this is one of my most-read posts with 255 page views. (Pretty good for this blog, as I said before!)

Essay about Pinkerton and Yoko: This essay took me like 5 hours to write. It was worth it. It was a big accomplishment for me. I did so much research and everything for it...I'M PROUD OF MYSELF ;_; despite no one reading it.

Guilty pleasure songs: I chair danced so much for this, you don't even want to know. Does chair dancing sound gross/inappropriate? It really isn't! It's just swaying in your chair! That's how I dance.

Just all of July in general: But this post in particular. Y'know, THAT'S what I should have done. Oh well. Maybe I'll ammend a handwritten note onto this later. That post has links to other July posts. It was crazy that I wrote a post every single day that month. Don't think that'll ever be happening again! Fun while it lasted, although I definitely struggled. Most if not all of my top 5 most-read posts were written during this month!

Guest posts: Thanks to everyone who wrote a guest post for me. Two are linked in that last July post, and then here's the one Blaire wrote for me. Still open to having people write guest posts for me!

Emmy Recap: Okay, it wasn't that well-written or anything but it's important to me in that it was a top Google result and it received my first really mean comment. Thank you, Lisa, for thinking my blog is important enough to criticize!

Top Chef Seth post: Dare I say CONTROVERSIAL? Nah. That's pushing it. But I got this EXTREMELY mean comment on it that I didn't even publish because it was really...pathetically mean. So then I added that dumb little note on the bottom. This post had some ill-advised comments in it but I'm a kid, of course I say stupid things! I don't regret it either way. Got me a lot of Google results and page views!


So, that should last you for the entirety of November, I'd think. Don't worry, though, I'll still be posting. Let's try and make it to 1000! Yay.

Thanks to everyone's who's read this blog, I really do appreciate it. Even if it makes little sense half of the time.

100th post, over :D

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #5

[Note: images aren't working for me at the moment. Sorry. Sad face.]

I haven't written a post in awhile-ish. Sorry. Lazy. I also haven't written one of these kinds of posts in a LONG time. But now I am. Aren't you lucky?

Today I got a Mew and now I am quite confident that I will become the greatest Pokemon master EVER. If you have HeartGold or SoulSilver then get on the Mystery Gift right now and download Mew! Do it! Now! Right now! But then please come back and read the rest of the post...

Which starts now!:

• 30 Rock Live: This is major and I probably should have written a review, but I didn't and oh well. Did you see it? Oh, excellent? Did you love it? Gasp! Me too! It was great and I enjoyed it immensely. It had a series finale kind of vibe but it was a fun experiment regardless. Although I think maybe this should have been the series finale -- not now, of course! Years from now, they should have done this episode. But whatever, I enjoyed it now. I didn't get to see the West Coast version but luckily someone has compiled a video of the differences between the two. I'm not sure which one I like better; they're both pretty amazing. Maybe the East Coast version, because I'm biased:
   
• Justin Bieber's autobiography: If you can even call it that. It's even more hilarious than I would have thought it'd be, though. Choice line: “There are lots of things I really like besides girls. Like pizza. And pranking. And CHUCK NORRIS.” Obviously this thing was ghost-written when I was in middle school. Biebs has been ready for this for years.
• The long tracking shot from Atonement: I loved the book but wasn't as big of a fan of the movie. I especially conked out during the Dunkirk scenes; unfortunately that meant that I missed on this very, very long tracking shot. I think tracking shots are the absolute coolest; this one especially! Watch it here.
• Cathy is over: Y'know, she definitely is a ton like Liz Lemon. "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate! Ack!" Love it. People always complained about how whiny and annoying Cathy was but I always kind of liked it. I recently watched the EMMY AWARD-WINNING animated special (in which Cathy is voiced by Pepper Ann!) and I actually liked it a lot. It's sad that it seems like the newspaper comics industry is sort of dying out; there isn't anything new coming in and older things are dying out. I wonder what will happen.
• Songs from commercials: I usually don't listen to songs that I heard first on commercials because it's hard to disassociate them with the commercials, but I've been listening a lot to "All Summer" from a recent Converse commercial (that actually creeps me the heck out) and "Blogspot" (BLOGSPOT OH EM GIZZLE) by Paul and the Patients from a Target commercial. They're both really good in their own right and I think that the visuals in the commercials don't distract me from the songs. (Also, if I hear songs that I already know in commercials or in Sears like I did yesterday then I actually want to listen to them more. Weird, isn't it? I heard "Fools" by the Dodos on a beer commercial and it made me want to listen to the song again. And I heard "Fables," also by the Dodos, in Sears yesterday and got super-excited. It's super-exciting!
• Friday night's episode of Freaks and Geeks: Please let me continue to live in my little bubble where this show still airs weekly, okay. There are only 2 episodes left for IFC to show and it makes me a little sad, especially since yesterday's episode was so good. You can watch it in many a part starting here.
• Sweaters: This is random and irrelevant (UH OH) but I love sweaters. That is all.

Such is life. Life goes on. Things like that. Now, back to looking at my kitty. Whoopee!

This Day In Videos You Should Watch

I like the idea of calling my posts "Today In," but I don't want things to get repetitive. So I changed "today" to "this day" because for some reason I thought that was better!

Anyway, here are some videos that I've been watching lately. Mind you, I don't really watch videos that often, so the selection is kind of slim pickin's. (Do people use that phrase? I feel a little strange using it.)

Trololololo

This is a popular meme, and for good reason. It's really funny. Also, the song is so catchy; it's always stuck in my head. ALWAYS. ._. I think the best part of this is his face when he's singing. I'm pretty sure he's lip-syncing, because his mouth doesn't move at ALL. AT ALL! Watch it! It won't move!

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

Pacey was the best character in Dawson's Creek, hands down, even if he was a little frightening and was the one that I'd vote "Most Likely to Murder the Other Characters in Their Sleep." So it wouldn't surprise me if there actually WAS a Pacey-Con. Sadly, there isn't, but Joshua Jackson tries his darnedest to start one. We should get this guy in some comedies. He has the "Clueless Egotist" part down pat.

30 Rock, Therapy with Jack and Tracy

An oldie but a goodie. This is the single greatest scene from 30 Rock. It's from the episode "Rosemary's Baby," which is in season 2 (the single greatest season of 30 Rock :D). The episode is pretty forgettable until you get to this scene. It cements the already-obvious fact that JACK DONAGHY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CHARACTERS IN TV HISTORY. EVER.

 Justin Bieber in "The Great Escape"

That's my title for it, at least. Basically Biebs tries to flee from a mob of pubescent girls with raging hormones who are willing to do absolutely anything for him on a Segway. Is it just me or does J. Biebs have some funky priorities? He's willing to call some chick who doesn't even like him, apparently, his "baby, baby, baby, ooh" and tell her "one time that [he] loves [her]" but then when he actually meets girls that are interested in him, he flees! Makes you wonder.

"World News" by Local Natives

This is one of my favorite songs on their album, Gorilla Manor. Well, actually, I like all of the songs. "Cards and Quarters" and "Cubism Dream" are my least favorites, but even those I like. Anyway, this is one really, really weird video! But watching that little kid lip-sync to the song is enjoyable.

Auto-Tune the News: Bed Intruder Song

 

I LOVE Auto-Tune the News. Every episode of it is just awesome. (I think I'm going to rank the episodes some time. Just because I can.) Anyway, apparently this video of a guy being interviewed about some local rapist is making its rounds, and the Auto Tune the News guys (and girl) did their take on it. Obviously, it's amazing. SO CATCHY. "Hide your kids, hide your wife! Hide your kids, hide your wife!"

"Kiss" by Sandara Park Cover

Don't know who Sandara Park is? WHO CARES? This song is SERIOUSLY catchy. This is a cover that my friend did. She does dubs of different J-Pop/K-Pop, etc. songs on YouTube, so you should check out her other stuff! I JUST WANNA KISS I NEVER WANNA MISS~

So, those are my video recommendations for the day. Take them with a grain of salt because, honestly, what do I know? (Although if you don't even so much as grin at the 30 Rock video, I'd venture a guess that you have no soul.)

Let's End of the Month Super Cool Post Go!

 (Click the images if you can't read them.)

Links and picture as promised:

• Work of Art Reviews: #1.4 and #1.8 
• Guest Posts: By Max and by "Checkahs"
• Pokemon Posts: On movies and on trainers
• Inception Review: A mini-review
• "Baby" Rant: I was NOT like "baby, baby, baby, ooh!"
• Last night's Futurama: A clip from it anyway

My cat who is better than all the cats of all the times:

(Sorry the quality is poor; my Webcam takes bad pictures. Which reminds me, who wants to make a video blog with me next month? :D)

P.S. "People I do like" = family notwithstanding. Obviously, I saw them plenty. My sister who likes to comment on my blog can confirm that this is true. HEY SISTER LET'S PLAY PERSONA 4 TODAY

Girl, Quit Playin'!

I wanted to post my Justin Bieber story today, but since it's still unfinished, I've decided to discuss something else Bieber-related:

I've called out "Baby" for its suckiness in the past. But I'll admit that I might have let bias seep through and shape my opinion when I said that. I stand by some things I said: the lyrics are mostly horrible, aside from my beloved Ludacris part and some other parts. And "One Time" definitely is A LOT better.

But "Baby" is, in fact, one of J. Bieb's best. Good job, Biebs!



"One Time" is a victim of major auto-tuning. Biebs' voice is masked by lots of computerized effects. SO NOT COOL. It does feature Biebs' only good piece of acting, but the rest of the video sees him acting like a poseur, basically; he throws gang signs and he says "SHAWTY I LOOOVE YOU" as if he's been cruising in the ATL since Day One. The video glamorizes the Bieber that Usher created, the one that is wholly American. While the song is flippin' sweet as they say in the Land of the Mormons, AKA Utah, the video has some problems. But it does have a lot of hilarious moments where you can really tell that my friend here is a little boy whose just having a megaton of fun (and BOOM goes the dynamite) making a video. And that's what I like. The chorus, too. I love that chorus. LEMME TELL YOU ONE TIME

But the video of "Baby." There's just something there that makes me happy.



Let's analyze "Baby" because we're awesome and have nothing better to do. "Baby" is wholly post-Bieber (I was going to say "Biebian" but we all know that a Biebian is a lesbian that looks like Justin Bieber) - this Bieber already has the girls. He doesn't need to convince them that he loves, that he loves them, because they already know, and they love him, too. And J. says that outright: "I KNOW YOU LUV MEH, I KNOW YOU CAYAH." This seems like it's almost a continuation of "One Time," as if he's singing to that girl as he's talking about how he loves her too and he'll "be theeeyah."

But then things get pretty whack, yo. So whack, in fact, that they almost ruin the song for me. I don't think Biebs' girlfriend understands that when you tell a teenage boy you love him, he thinks that you, um, LOVE HIM. He thinks that you are in a RELATIONSHIP with him. Believe me, I've tried to explain this to her. Girl just don't listen! (Wow, what happened to my grammar?) This girl's ruins Biebs' life (oh god, I almost said "urinates!") as he sings, "Are we an item? Girl, quit playin'! We're just friends, what are you sayin'?" UM. WHAT. Excuse you, Justin Bieber's girlfriend? Do you even understand what you just said?! You spent the first 28 seconds of the video flirting with the guy and telling him you love him and now you're telling him to QUIT PLAYIN' BECAUSE YOU'RE JUST FRIENDS?! WHAT ARE YOU SAYIN'?

Yes, my Paint skills are mediocre.

But even with that major oversight in logic, the video only makes me sort of want to punch everyone. After Bieber is told by the preteen girl who loves him and will never ever be loved by anyone else ever again, she dumps him. Smart girl! But then Biebs whines one of the funniest parts of  the song, "My first love broke my heart for the first time and I was like, 'Baby, baby, baby, OOOH.'" Yes, Biebs. When your heart gets broken by the girl you loved despite her telling you that you weren't even dating, the sensible thing to do is start shaking your fists at the sky and singing, "BABY, OOOH." THAT MAKES COMPLETE AND TOTAL SENSE. WOW. I LOVE YOU. Oh wait, I better not say that because unless I want you to "be like, 'Baby, baby, oooh'" all over again.

The chorus is the worst part of the song. It really is. It's repetitive. It's non-sensical. It's illogical. HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT SHE WOULD ALWAYS BE YOURS WHEN YOU WEREN'T EVEN DATING YOU CHIPMUNKY CANADIAN FOOL? Ugh. (Side note: Crud, I just noticed Drake [AKA Aubrey Graham from Degrassi for those of you in the knooooow] is in this video. Weird.)

But the video itself actually gets totally awesome after the first chorus. The "down, down, down" part of the song is so excellent I can't help but grin like an ugly Brit. J Biebs' dancing to get his girl back is awesome. HE ROLLS OVER A POOL TABLE AND IT'S SO GRAND. His intent to get his baby back is so strong and persuasive that he inspires people to start breakdancing in the bowling alley. It's pretty much official: Justin Bieber is the reincarnation of a Greek god. Maybe even Zeus. He is so powerful that he can get people to dance at his every whim. 

A staple of the best Bieber videos is the scenes where he dances in front of a wall by himself (or, in this video's case, with Ludacris). These are always the best scenes. In "Baby" Bieber just does all of his best, or weirdest, dance moves. He does a Michael Jackson-esque tiptoe as well as something Moonwalk-inspired. He does this cool Electric Slide-type thing. He shakes himself, which is hilarious. He pounds his chest a lot. Justin B. really is a pretty good dancer. He's also a really strange kid. Evidence, here: 

Sorry the .gif is so choppy. But I think you get the point. Soon enough the girl, who actually looks a lot older than Justin Bieber in a bad way, starts to see the error of her ways. You can tell that she's thinking in her head, "Wow. I'm a total jerk." She was being a jerk to him, y'know. And it's not just me being biased against her because he's my friend. She ignored him and pushed him around. MEANIE. But as Justin Bieber breaks out into a spontaneous choreographed dance in the middle of the stinking bowling lane, that girl realizes that this guy is going to make a ton of money. They'll probably make a movie about him! Maybe she could be in it. Maybe she could meet Usher! How cool would that be?

But she still isn't so sure that she should go back to him. This becomes clear to Justin Bieber's producers, so with a cry of "LUDA!" Ludacris appears in front of Justin's wall. It's all over now. This is Ludacris, people. No one can turn down Ludacris even if they tried. Not only that but Luda wants to make his young protege Bieber feel better. If Biebs is Zeus then Ludacris is Kronos, waiting to be overthrown by his son, but not before they release a music video together! His rap is my single favorite part of the song. I actually sing it constantly. "When I was firteen, I had mah first luv; there was nobody that could compare to my baby, no one could ever come between us, no one could evah come above!" In the video you mostly just see Ludacris and Bieber goofing off in-between shots of Biebs mugging for the camera and just looking generally Woodland creature-like. Bieber mocking Ludacris and then being strangled by him is pretty adorable. (Wait. What?) 

Ludacris tells Bieber he went through the heartbreak, too, but he just keeps on saying...you think he's going to give some major words of inspiration, but no: he says, "BABY BABY BABY OOOH." Luda. I don't think you get it, Luda. BIEBER HAS BEEN SAYING "BABY OOH" THIS ENTIRE TIME. YOU REALLY ARE NOT HELPING HIM. AT ALL. That whole rap, for naught! For naught, Ludacris! Bieber just goes back to his old gig of dancing awesomely and in sync with people much older than him in the hopes that this will entice his baby to come back to him. But if his not-girlfriend is anything like me, then she should've flown the coup by now. However, this IS a Bieber video, so she probably can't find a door, anyway. Lost and hopeless, she begins to dance across from Bieber like a minion of his little Dancing Army. It's girls vs. boys now. Why the girls are siding with this chick, I don't know, but that's how it is. That's how Bieber wanted it.

The girl smiles and Bieber breaks away from his bro pack to have flirting time with the girl in the middle of the bowling alley. This Bieber kid really doesn't have any problems with PDA, huh? I WOULD KNOW. BELIEVE ME. Soon enough Bieber starts saying, "And I'm all gone," which leads someone who isn't actually watching the video to believe he's committed suicide or something, because never in the song does he say anything other than "BABY NOOO" to indicate that she has come back to him. If I was listening to this on the radio, I would be shocked to hear him saying this, to hear him just abruptly allude to his disappearance...disappearance from this EARTH. Obviously in the video this is not the case. In the video it really just means, "Yo, peace, I be outtie wif mah fly honey." (Side note: she is not very fly at all. A catty girl's opinion.) But if we want to get really insane with this, which we certainly do, then we can say that maybe Bieber killed himself from loneliness and then only got together with his girl in the afterlife. Those shots in that Vegas-looking area would represent the dead Bieber. They descend the escalator and into the light together.

Dang. I'm messed up.

I hope that satiates your Bieber needs until I finish my story. It's weird, because I'm not a fan of him or anything. I mean, we're just friends and all. But he's just such a funny character to me. I think it's because he's the chipmunkiest pop star since Jesse McCartney.

On a Completely Unexpected Note

From reading this blog or just knowing me as a person, it's quite apparent that I'm pretty pretentious when it comes to music (and movies, and TV, and most things, sadly). When people talk about some song by Rihanna that I've never heard, for instance, I'll proudly yelp, "Oh! I have never heard that song, for I do not listen to the radio, NPR and other stations my father puts on in the car aside notwithstanding! My grandest apologies!"

However, despite my lack of radio-listening and "indie" predilections, I'm not completely immune to the power of just plain good pop music and its catchiness. I mean, I pretty much spend all day watching TV, kids. I'm bound to hear "Eenie Meenie" sometime. How do you think I know about Justin Bieber, anyway? How do you think we became such swell chums?

Youtube is so helpful in this regard, in my journey to act my age and stay in touch with the mainstream. Here are some popular songs I like that you actually have heard of, both new AND "old!":

Kelly Clarkson - "Since U Been Gone"

I don't go to parties often, but if you ever have had the luck (BAHAHA) to be at a party with me, then you know that I actually LOOOOVE Kelly Clarkson. Especially this song! I can be found singing it at the most random of times in the most angelic of singing voices. Just ask any of my friends! All 3 of them! (Just kidding, hee hee. Hello, friends who have probably been forced to read this!) This song is actually amazingly good. The title may be grammatically incorrect but if that's the only negative this pessimist has, then you're doing something right, Kell! Other Kelly Clarkson sing-along favorites include: "Breakaway", "Walk Away", "Behind These Hazel Eyes", "My Life Would Suck Without You"

B.o.B. - "Nothin' On You"

I actually stealth-linked to this video before, but I don't care. I'm posting it AGAIN. Because it's AWESOME. Most people I know are like, "Eww, rap is gross, I'm gonna go listen to my [insert serious crud here] instead!" But rap isn't all bad. Obviously! Bruno Mars has such a niiice voice. Soooo niiiice. Plus, any song that has an N64 reference in it is cool in my very large and VERY COOL book. And this video seriously is really cool. Other B.o.B. songs I can be seen chair-dancing to: "Airplanes", "The Kids", "Magic"

Lady Gaga - "Paparazzi"

I actually despise this music video, save for the scene towards the end where she's decked out in that seriously weird Minnie Mouse getup. The song, though. OH, THE SONG. This song was made for me to rock out to with my truly inspiring vocals! And I do, very often in fact. My personal stance on Miz Gaga is that she wouldn't be at all interesting if it wasn't for her outfits, and I think that still stands; this song isn't particularly interesting or novel, and a lot of people cite its music video as a positive for it when they really should just focus on the song itself. Lucky for Gawgs, this song is so stinking catchy I wish I didn't start watching the video now because it's going to be stuck in my head AGAIN, and last time it was stuck in my head I swear it didn't leave until I cleansed myself with some Justin Bieber (I think "Eenie Meenie" in particular, which is actually quite bad). Other Lady Gaga Jamz: "Just Dance" (DO DAW DO)

Colby O'Donis - "What You Got"

Okay, I'm not sure how popular this song was, but if it wasn't that popular, then, well, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. Seriously, I dig this song something awful (that sounds horrendous). Colby, you may be of ambiguous ethnicity, but my feelings for your song are quite obvious - LOVE IT. Especially that chorus; I mean, COME ON GENTLELADIES AND MEN. It's so simple and perfect and smooth like the ice cream I really want to eat right now but don't have. Ice cream! ICE CREAM! Sadly, there are no other Colby songs I even know so I can't recommend them, but see the aforementioned "Just Dance," since he features in that.

Jason Derulo - "In My Head"

Dang, this song is catchy. It just gets catchier and catchier as it goes along. The vid's a bit annoying, the silhouettes aside, but that chorus is too good. I don't know how much Jason (Jason or Jay-shawn?) Derulo really brings to the table, especially lyrically, considering most of the song consists of "yeah-ah," "ehh," and "what's goin' down," but if this was his one hit, I could live with that. And I hope that everyone else would be able to, as well! (Although apparently his first song was a hit, too. But DO I CARE?) Derulo reminds me of someone else who I'm about to get to, albeit a less cool and original iteration...

Ne-Yo - "Closer"

CRUD. Try to point out a flaw in this video. Just. Try. It. "Um, well--" SHUSH. SILENCE. We'll be having none of that. Not that your point would have been valid, anyway. Ne-Yo's got the moves, man, and the style! This video is way too cool for someone like me who's been wearing the same smelly pajama pants and Oprah-related t-shirt for the last two days. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! But I'll watch from afar regardless because Ne-Yo, you're the man. Although I find it weird that two of your songs share their names with Kelly Clarkson ones ("Because of You" and "Miss Independent") but we'll let that slide because your dancing is so choice. (Speaking of dancers, Chris Brown is truly amazing. Wife beating aside, of course. I never get tired of this performance.  I couldn't care less about his music, though.) Something similar: Justin Timberlake! I love Justin Timberlake. I really do. I'd recommend "Rock Your Body," "Cry Me a River," "Senorita," "My Love"

Vanessa Carlton - "A Thousand Miles"

I think everyone is tired of this song by now; it's been played to death, I'm sure. But it's probably one of my favorite songs ever. I definitely loved it when I was a young'un, and honestly, I still do now. And PROUDLY. Her piano-playing is killer, man. I remember seeing her do this song on U-Pick Live back in 2002 or 2003. Or maybe it was one of her other songs... Either way, it made my day. I think. Geez, that was so long ago. I wish that Vanessa C. had been more popular, or at least sustained her popularity, but it's kind of faded out. I'd prefer to see more people like her than more people like the next artist on my list... Other Vanessa faves: "Ordinary Day," "White Houses" (seriously, I don't know anyone who doesn't LOVE that song especially. And her outfit in the video is awesome, although the rest of the video is lame)

Miley Cyrus - "Start All Over"

Okay, so this is the only song on this list that I'm pretty embarrassed to admit that I enjoy. I mean, I don't have it on my iPod or anything; what do you think I am, some kind of animal, like a 12-year-old girl? But this song is just SO CATCHY. The catchiness totally overpowers how bad Miley Cyrus' voice is. And that part when you just see the guitarist strumming the obviously-not-functional guitar while walking down the street? I LOVE IT. The dancing is fun to watch, too. It's my guy Marc Webb directing, so that helps. The video also seems like it was done all in one take, for the most part, and that's way cool. Miley actually seems like someone who could -- should, even -- be really famous and successful in this video. I mean, she is, obviously, but this video works kind of as a testament to that for me. Stuff Miley Cyrus sings that I'm similarly embarrassed to enjoy: "See You Again," "East Northumberland High" (Betcha you don't know THAT one!). Something similar: Aly and AJ's "Potential Breakup Song." It's actually really stinking hilarious, and it has Rivers Cuomo's vote of confidence!

There are other bands and songs that I like that are insanely popular; I just didn't list them because they're pretty much crossover hits (Gorillaz, the Killers, Jimmy Eat World, OK Go, Coldplay, La Roux, etc.). Just so you know.

Anyway, yeah. Enjoy these videos while I enjoy the Toy Story 3 Food Network Challenge and continue to not write my college essay and do my Chem homework! :D

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #1

(Relevant meaning to this blog.)

HELLO :) I'm watching MTV's Return to Fat Camp. I live for the Fat Camp series. It's definitely one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

I could write a whole entry on it, but I've devoted enough space to MTV lately. So instead, I'm going to talk about the pop culture-y things I've been thinking about in my otherwise incessantly dull day! This may or may not become a more frequent thing! SO PREPARE.

• Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber: It is exactly as its name implies. AND IT IS AWESOME. Some of these "Biebians" as the creepy Justin Bieber-lookalike who maintains it calls them looks so much like (male) Justin Bieber it is frightening and amazing. It's interspersed with actual Justin Bieber pics. A lot of the time I see them (BECAUSE I SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON HERE OKAY) and think, "Whoa, that lesbian looks EXACTLY like Justin Bieber!" but then I realize that it IS Justin Bieber. He is pretty girly, though, so it's probs a common mistake.

• Tuesday's episode of Glee: So, remember that it was kind of a make or break it for me? Well, it was pretty good. Neil Patrick Harris was, obviously, awesome. I laughed, bro. I laughed out loud. Kids these days would just be like "lol gleeee <33" to their friends on Facebook, son, without laughing for real, but me? I ACTUALLY LAUGHED. The episode was called "Dream On" so, um, here's the eponymous song (which I don't really like when NPH and Matty Morrison aren't rocking out to it). NPH is scary in it (ETA: clip fix'd): 

• Reruns of The Office on TBS: Tomorrow I plan on doing my FIRST EVAH TV reviews on this here blog. That means there's a 50-50 chance of me actually doing them! And if I do, you may find out about my tumultuous relationship with The Office. Here it is in a nutshell, though: There are only two amazing seasons of the show. One other season is very good. The other three are horrible. So horrible, in fact, that I tell people I have a tumultuous relationship with the show. It's that meaningful to me. Okay? Okay. Yesterday I watched reruns of two excellent Season 3 episodes (Season 3 is the "very good" season, by the way), and it made me sad that the show is so BAD now. They were "The Return" and "Ben Franklin." I stinking love those episodes. Those episodes alone warranted my Season 3 DVD purchase (that and my dream of becoming an Office historian). 

• LittleBigPlanet 2: I'm insanely excited for it. Me and my homie G slice Laur-Laur tear LBP 1 UP. And, I mean, I've known about the sequel for awhile. Come on, I read video game news everyday. But I just read that it'll feature custom voice acting, which is a cool (albeit frightening) proposition. I'm going to definitely put really disturbing voices in my RPG (because you can make RPGs and other types of games in the sequel, too :D).  

• Elliott Smith: He's dead. :( I mean, he's been dead for almost 10 years now. But I was listening to "The Biggest Lie," "Needle in the Hay," and "The White Lady Loves You More" today and bro, it made me sad. People like Conor Oberst (who I do like) try to emulate his style, but there's no one alive who's better. Download: "The Biggest Lie", "The White Lady Loves You More"

• Rotten Tomatoes ranks SNL movies: Obviously, most of them are horrible. I've seen Coneheads, Superstar, Wayne's World, and Wayne's World 2. Didn't like any of them. And isn't it funny that Al Franken starred in Stuart Saves His Family? And that It's Pat! even exists?

Yeah, that's about it. And now, I'm going to return to Fat Camp! Get it?! YES!

Did I Say That I Would Never Talk About Justin Bieber?

I hope not, because I'd be breaking that promise.

Certain things are too good not to post, and today, this Justin Bieber-related video is one of them.

Biebs, as I affectionately call him, because we are good chums and have pet names for each other, for instance, he calls me Lady Legs, which isn't quite as cool as Biebs but is definitely something, is definitely not the smartest. This shouldn't be a surprise; have you ever head "Baby?" I'm pretty sure the only words in that song are "Baby" and "ooh," and ooh isn't even a real word, it's more like an expression of feeling, like "ow." But Biebs doesn't have to be smart, all he has to do is look like a 12-year-old Bie-ver (HA HA OH HA THAT IS SO PUNNY HA HA) and the girls will love him.

 

One of those rare instances when they Photoshop weird-looking people to look weirder.

Justin Bieber is one horrible little demon that I can't ever seem to avoid. Not a day goes by anymore when I don't see his name somewhere, or get that stupid little "One Time" stuck in my head. And despite our aforementioned chumminess, Biebs and I constantly backstab each other. Um, behind each others' backs.

Instead of defending him in his idiotic moments like the one above, I laugh at him. Oh, how I laugh. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. And when I read articles about him, like this one, I laugh at them, too. Especially these horrible little comments. You won't mind if I post them, will you, Biebs? You won't uninvite me from that quaint little dinner at the Olive Garden (which you insist is real Italian food, oh, you're so naive, it's adorable) that we were going to have with Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift and Taylor Hicks, will you?

BigPhill: he looks like a happy lesbian

Davesays: i wanna slap this kid...tell him to stfu!!

ill2012: isnt tina fey a dy** anyway? looks like justina bieber to her

That last one wasn't all that relevant to the Biebs himself, but I still thought it was funny, in a really sad and pathetic kind of way.

But Biebs! Despite our very high schoolish relationship, there are some things I really like about you. Well, one thing anyway. One thing other than how catchy "One Time" is. LET ME TELL YOU ONE TIME THAT I LOVE, THAT I LOVE~ ahem. I like how self-deprecating you can be. You're not Miley Cyrus, and that's good. You're a Bieb. And a Bieb makes cool videos like this one:

Bieber Takes Over from Justin Bieber

He talks loudly in libraries and he swims directly after he eats. Oh, Biebs. You are my best friend sometimes. And then I remember how stupid you are, you stupid little Canadian, daring to call himself an American, insulting Germans, Americans, and New Zealanders alike, making three-year-old girls cry, and I just don't understand you.

Who could I compare you to? Lil' Bow Wow? No, he was never like this. Justin Timberlake, whose BEST STINKIN' SONG NEXT TO SENORITA AND ROCK YOUR BODY EVEEEER you covered in your youth so supremely? Maybe, but at the same time, JT made babies cry as part of a collective. You're going solo, my man. You're the tiniest teen pop star since that last tiny pop star, and you didn't even need Disney's help!

It's why Funny or Die and I find you so encapsulating, such a force that we must reckon with. I don't think I'm using that phrase correctly.

This kid can have these really obnoxious and idiotic fans and make videos on Funny or Die, which isn't the most idiotic preteen girl-friendly, and they will still make accounts to post poorly spelled messages to "him," as if he will read them. And he can post totally serious videos on the site and still get Chosen One status!

Justin Bieber In Concert from Justin Bieber
 

Select Comments:

didnceto0o: i don'love u-i like u. but not because u are famouse or all the girla love u.i like u just because u act like a normal boy-not like a flashy superstar and of the videos i know u have really big heart!i like this in you. maybe i'm crazy but..

minkay: Pretty sure that If I met you, I would give you a million roses. I would do anything you wanted me to do for ever and ever. Because your heart and mine make a whole, and I will go out with other people, but my heart only belongs to you. Forever and ever.


Chrissi: Hey Guys!
Please vote for my cats:
http:// www.whiskas.com.au/CatProfile.aspx?id=40730
&
http:// www.whiskas.com.au/CatProfile.aspx?id=40709

(Remove Spaces)

They are cuties! :D

I just don't get you, Bieber. You're nothing special. But everyone loves you. If I were a few years younger, maybe I would understand, although I doubt it, since I was never really that kind of kid. 

But I don't hate you. I could tolerate a world where Biebs is on the top of the charts. Sure, he may not know what "German" means, but, well, he doesn't dress like a stinking disgusting ugly obnoxious oh-my-god-shut-up-no-one-cares slut bag. And that's a good thing.

(Biebs, a German is someone from Germany. Just letting you know. And please call me about our dinner plans.)