My Year in Lists, Part 1: Games and Books and Junk

"My Year in Lists" by Los Campesinos!

So as I said before, despite running this SUPER MEGA SUGOI-NYA blog about entertainment, I'm actually not that culturally relevant. Okay, I'M not culturally ANYTHING, but neither are my interests! Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to write about TV and it's going to be hard picking a numero uno considering the best show I watched this year is 10 years old. But that's what the word "try" exists for! For me to use it! (And fail!)

5 AWESOME GAMES FROM 2010*

*I didn't really play that many new games this year so honestly these are just the games I played. I'm sure that if I had played them, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Mass Effect 2, and whatever other games you liked would be on here. But games are expensive.

Final Fantasy XIII (PS3)

Okay! I know you hate this game! Everyone does! ...Except me. Final Fantasy XIII might not have lived up to the hype - but that would have been impossible. It may not be one of the better Final Fantasies - I, for one, cannot stand how the shopping system works, and despise how hard it is to make any money. The game is literally linear, as well, but I don't mind some hand-holding. What I do mind is a terrible battle system, and thankfully this game has perfected the FF ATB system and created one that is extremely fun, even addicting, to use. I loved the Paradigm Shift idea as well as staggering your opponent for massive damage. FF13 is a game where you basically run from one monster to the next, so it's great that fighting them is so enjoyable.

P.S. I LIKED HOPE. Sorry. And Lightning is awesome, but everyone knows that. (I also love Sazh. And the music in this game! And, GASP, I like the cut scenes!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Movie: The Game (PS3)

This PSN timed-exclusive provided me with many, many hours of fun multiplayer entertainment. I do think my friends would agree with me that this was the best multiplayer experience of our year (resurgence of Super Smash Bros. Brawl love aside). Is the game better than the movie? In some ways, yes. Look at that character design! Paul Robertson's sprite work was great; it had me longing for some kind of 8-bit Scott animated show. Also, the music in this game, by Anamanaguchi (did I spell that right? I did? YES), is phenomenal. I can hear it in my head right now, actually. That's what playing this game for about 6 hours straight will do to your brain, man. It screws with your mind. 

Super Scribblenauts (DS)

Yes, there was a sequel to Scribblenauts. Yes, it came out this year. Yes, I only just got it for Christmas. But it was AWESOME. AndoneoftheonlygamesIbeatthisyear. While I never got around to playing the original game, it sounds like this sequel took all of the criticisms (can only move with the stylus, too repetitive) and corrected them. The addition of adjectives means that there are so many possibilities in this game that it's impossible to just give it one playthrough. The game is definitely short; I beat it in about 6 hours! But this replayability and just the overall lighthearted tone of the game makes me want to go play it right now. Be right back.

Robot Unicorn Attack (Browser)

Okay! This game is a flash game by Adult Swim! It's pretty stupid! SUE ME BECAUSE I LOVE IT. Yes, this is how pathetic my crop was if this is on my list, but it's actually the most fun I've had with a game all year. Seriously. I played this game for hours straight and never got bored. This also wins my esteemed Fonzie Award for Best Music, with "Always" by Erasure. If you don't have that song stuck in your head within seconds you don't have ears. Or a heart. Why don't you go play the game right now? Take a little break?

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver (DS)

If you didn't see this coming then you don't know me at all. AT ALL. -sob- Pokemon Silver for the GameBoy Color is my favorite game of all-time, so there's no way I could NOT love this game. I think SoulSilver is the reason I didn't really get any games this year; it just took up all of my time. I ended up getting a little bit burned out on it when I started Kanto, but I'm feeling the Pokemon fever again. There are just so many things to do in this game: the Pokeathalon, Gym Leader Rematches, KANTO as I mentioned, the Pokewalker (which I actually haven't used at all), etc. Pokemon is really one of the reasons that I love being a product of the early 90s. I LOVE YOU POKEMON HUGS AND KISSES XOXO

Honorable Mention: Dragon Quest IX (DS), which I just got for Christmas and thus haven't played too much of. I'm loving it so far, though.

Games that I wanted to play but didn't but will, definitely will: Kirby's Epic Yarn (Wii), Trauma Team (Wii) (I got it for Christmas so I'll get around to it!), Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii), Costume Quest (PS3), Red Dead Redemption (PS3), Professor Layton and the Unwound Future (DS)

Games to Look Forward to in 2011!: Catherine (PS3), LittleBigPlanet 2 (PS3) which I am so excited for I can't even describe it, Pokemon Black and White (DS) surely to be my Game of Forever, The Last Story (Wii), Ninokuni (DS and PS3), and most of all the 3DS! which is not a game but a console, a console that will bring me so many games that I want to play that all I'll be able to do is play games all the stinking time.

THE 1 BOOK I READ FROM 2010*

*According to my Goodreads account, I've read 18 books this year. This is 7 less than last year but still a pretty solid number. However, only this book was released this year. Stuck in the past, I tell you! (Oh, although I did read this awful kid's book, Jack Blank and the Imagine Nation, which I got for free. Despite the "love interest" of sorts being named Allegra, it was terrible.)

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

I guess it wasn't really necessary for me to mention this, but I liked it a lot and Jonathan Franzen (plus Jonathan Safran Foer; more on that later maybe) basically made my year with this and The Corrections. I LOVED The Corrections; it's easily one of my favorite books. Almost immediately after finishing that one I began this one. Freedom touches upon similar themes, which is both good and bad. However, in the end it just did not hold a candle to Franzen's last book. 

Freedom made me physically ill at times, between the "turd excavation" scene and the sheer awfulness of lead female Patty Berglund, but I think for a book to elicit such a strong emotional response from me means that it must be doing something right. I think I would love this book if it weren't for the fact that I now have to write an essay about it. That's proving to be impossible. Oprah's Book Club! Help me! 

Books I read and loved this year that were from last year or earlier: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which I still think about often; Let the Right One In by John Lindqvist; Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut; A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore even though most people hated it. And I already mentioned The Corrections. Also I totally feel like I read Atonement this year but I guess I didn't but I loved it so read it. Yay.

TOMORROW, on My Year in Lists: The Best TV That I Actually Watched This Year, Plus Some Other Stuff! Vague, I know! Excitement! 

New York Comic-Con/Anime Festival 2010

I went to Comic-Con/NYAF this past weekend. It was pretty awesome. Yay!

I saw the standard cosplayers; there were so many Lightning's and Yukiko's and Ramona's of different shapes/colors/sizes, it was pretty nuts. But I actually liked a lot of the costumes I saw; it's awesome how much effort some of these people put in, and how much confidence they had, wearing skimpy outfits and posing for picture after picture. I know I took pictures!

I also got to see the first ever New York screening of The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya on Friday. I was really excited for that, but man, the other people in the room were obnoxious as HECK. They laughed at every little thing, even if it wasn't all that funny; they applauded everything, too. It was insane. I mean, I loved being around a whole room full of people who I knew loved the same anime that I did, but they were so irritating. This girl we sat next to laughed so loudly and annoyingly, and this guy we sat behind waved to the voice actors who hosted the panel and I think he was dressed up as an InuYasha character or something and it was horrible. Towards the end of the movie -SPOILER ALERT- Kyon (main character) got stabbed out of the blue and everyone started laughing and clapping. How is that funny or applause-worthy whatsoever? They were taking me out of it, and it nearly ruined it for me. I still really enjoyed the movie but I hope I can see it in the comfort of my own home soon.

I wanted to go to the Square Enix panel, also, but it was full. Other things I wanted to do: play the games! Nintendo's booth had Kirby's Epic Yarn, Donkey Kong Country, Wii Party, and some other games that I really wanted to try but I never got the chance. I watched some guys play Kirby for awhile and it looked so gorgeous and cute, though. I really want it! Now.

I did get to play a little bit of Okamiden, but I had no clue what was going on. It did look really cute, though. I got a poster, a little mask-type thing, and some Chibiterasu silly bands from the Capcom area, which was nice. I wanted to play Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and get a poster, but that game was one of the most popular there, and I think you could only get a poster from one of the signings, which I didn't go to. Oh well.

SPEAKING OF SIGNINGS, I am a sucker for being in the presence of celebrities, so you can imagine how happy I was to MEET THREE (KIND OF MINOR BUT OH WELL) CELEBRITIES! :D I met Patrick Cassels, who works for Collegehumor.com, and got his autograph and a picture with him; he was so nice! Then I got a picture with and an autograph from Judah Friedlander (Frank on 30 Rock), which was pretty awesome, too. He told me to "stay sexy." Hilarious. And the best one of all was meeting Scott Adsit (!!!!! Pete on 30 Rock) who was on his way to the Delocated panel despite not really having anything to do with it! I got his autograph and told him that I loved 30 Rock and Moral Orel and once I mentioned the latter his eyes just lit up and he looked at me and said, "Thank you! I really appreciate that!" And then he asked me if I had seen Delocated and I said that I hadn't but I wanted to and he told me to check it out. AND I DID. And it was okay. It had Todd Barry in it which was great because I love Todd Barry. I also love Scott Adsit!! I wish I'd gotten a picture with him, but at least I'll always have the memory.

Even though I'm the cheapest person around I forced myself to buy stuff: tons and tons of pins, a Scott Pilgrim sticker, and a Scott Pilgrim t-shirt. The Oni Press booth had a ton of cool Scott stuff, and I wanted to get the wristbands but they said "July 2010" on them and were from SDCC, so I decided against it. Also, my wrists are too big for wristbands, anyway. ;_; At least I got the shirt! And a sticker! And I wanted to buy a book from there, Hopeless Savages, but it was $20 and I decided against it. They had a nice booth though. Pretty cool times. Oh, and the pins I got included a Pokeball, a Harvest Moon pin, a Spirited Away pin, a TON of adorable Inception pins, and super cute Wallace and Kim pins. I wanted to get Scott but he was sold out. You know, the only Scott thing I got that actually HAD Scott on it was the sticker. Too bad.

On Saturday night we decided to take a cab to the train station, and we managed to get a stretch limo. It was amazing. We went with these two random people we met; one of them was wearing a green suit. They were also amazing. We paid $30 for 8 people to take a stretch limo from the Javits Center to Grand Central. It was -- guess! -- amazing.

So that was my Comic-Con experience. It was tons of fun. I want to go next year. Can next year be tomorrow? Please? I hope I can meet Scott Adsit again and take a picture with him this time! But any celebrity will do. Please celebrities! Come find me and give me your autographs!

Today In News That Probably Only I Care About

Today's top headline:

MATT DAMON IS RETURNING TO 30 ROCK! YES. YES. YES!

Shall I re-post my awful Matt Damon dancing .gif? I think I shall!

Huzzah!

In other news:

• Will Forte is leaving SNL. This is, hopefully, an excellent career move for the very funny Forte [/alliteration]. I think he should do more voice acting, because he's good at it. His character was one of the few on Sit Down, Shut Up that I nearly tolerated (until that TERRIBLE joke about him developing boobs. That was mightily disturbing).
• BREAKING: Final Fantasy Versus XIII is still not out. Oh wait, everyone knows that already? Does everyone also already know that it probably isn't even coming out next year? They do? Oh. Well, carry on then.
• You can now trade games in at Best Buy. But should you? No.
• The interesting-sounding, Jim Carrey-starring romantic dramedy I Love You Phillip Morris is finally coming out. And on my birthday, no less! Now I can celebrate the good old-fashioned way: with gay convicts expressing their love through repeated escape attempts.
• Conan can make fun of NBC if his Tonight Show wins at the Emmy Awards this Sunday, permitted that his remarks "aren't false." In normal people's terms, that means we can potentially look forward to jokes about my admittedly most-watched network's poor ratings and even poorer management. Goody?
• Maybe you've heard of that suicide at a recent The Swell Season concert? Well, if you were one of the unlucky ones to be present, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova and company are willing to pay for your resulting therapy. That incident really was quite sad, and I'm not going to joke about it. If you'd like to read some people's impressions of what happened there, check out the comments of this SFWeekly article.
• To end on a lighter note, here's a cool mash-up between Scott Pilgrim and Avatar: The Last Airbender (the show, NOT the movie), posted by the former's director and just one of the nicest guys around (he seems nice to ME, anyway) Edgar Wright.

A'ight, so that's the story, from your favorite random news aggregate around. Check it. (If you read that in an Ali G voice it's pretty funny!) 

Non-Stop Crazy

This music video, for "Swim" by Surfer Blood, which is, according to NeoGAF, an "overly elitist hipster mega-popular underground band," is really weird. Really. The ending helps it to make sense in some way, but the majority of it is incredibly nonsensical. I just thought you had to see it. (The song itself is okay, but I like the comparable "Daisy" by Fang Island better. This is a good summer song, too, though. I can understand how those not-so-lovable hipsters go crazy for this band. What I don't get is why they sell this album at Target.)



Know any other WILD and CRAZY videos? Post them in the comments, I guess.

In other news, Javier Bardem will be on Glee next season (for what I presume is a guest-starring role) and I finally beat this one really hard boss in Final Fantasy XIII.

Things That Are Excrutiating

(That is probably not the best title for a blog that you are trying to get people to read, but, um, oh well?)

So. Hi. How are you? Yeah, okay, I don't care that much.

Let's talk about dubs. But first, a preface. I like a lot of things (hence the relative lack of focus in this blog), but two things I really like are video games and anime. YES. VIDEO GAMES AND ANIME. This may seem weird to you, but really, it isn't. I grew up during the height of the "anime with video game tie-ins" craze. People in the 80s had the anime "secretly" selling toys one, and we 90s kids had the anime secretly selling video games, toys, and, um, school buses one.

A lot of fellow video game and anime fans, albeit much more grotesque and irritating ones (yes, there are indeed people more irritating than me!), whine about English dubs. Dubs are, of course, dubbing or translating from one language into another, and since most anime and video games (at least, video games that whiny anime fans play) are Japanese, they have to be dubbed into English. A lot of these fans think that the Japanese or original dub is "lyke sooooo much better desu." Personally, I like a lot of English dubs, or at least tolerate them. But the following examples would probably sound better in their original language.

ANIME THAT SOUND LIKE PEOPLE TRYING TO DIE

One Piece is really popular in Japan. It's one of the top 3 most popular anime, in fact. It never reached that same success here in America.

This is why.

Oh. Oh, dear. That...that isn't good, is it? No. Not at all. One Piece is one of the many anime that is well-liked in its original language by weeaboo masses that was mutilated by 4Kids entertainment. Chances are, if you've ever seen an anime on TV, it was dubbed by 4Kids, and that's exactly why you hate it.

I don't care about the show in the first place, though, so it's dub is more funny to me than anything else. That doesn't mean it's not horrible, though!

Cardcaptor Sakura, on the other hand, is actually a completely awesome manga, and the anime in its original language is also ah-mazin'. However, those darn Canadians decided to turn it into a pile of worthless junk. They called it Cardcaptors. 

You probably have no idea what's going on here. I could try to explain it to you but you'd probably start laughing at me the second I said "ten year old girl," so I won't bother. All you really need to know is that this dub is horrible, but I think you and your bleeding ears get that.

There's even a whole series on YouTube dedicated to bad anime dubs! Here's one example.

Cyborg 009! Bro, I totally watched that show on Toonami back in the day! It wasn't this dub, though; thankfully, they redubbed it to make it more tolerable. But if I was 8 in 1988 and not 2001 and was watching this dub instead, I probably would be in a psych ward by now. Well, maybe not.

OMG BONUS TAIMU DESU! That's what I would say if I looked like this. But I don't, so I'm just going to show you this bonus clip without introduction. (Although it's from that 4Kids dub of One Piece. That's all.)

VIDEO GAMES THAT SOUND SIMILAR TO A VERY ILL MAN'S PUKING

I'm going to get this one out of the way first. I love Final Fantasy X. I love it so, so, so much. I played it for ~20 hours in one week, and I never do that (with any game that doesn't start with "Pokemon," anyway). It is so good that I want to go play it right now!

The one bad thing about it? This scene.

I think I like how the user called Tidus "Baboon" the most about this video. Tidus is kind of an idiot, but I still like him. Um, except for in this horrible little piece of programming. Bleh.

Chaos Wars had no chance. Sure, it actually got some surprisingly decent reviews, but it was yet another faceless tactical RPG in a sea of already extremely niche PS2 TRPGs. Its dub really doesn't help, as it might very well be the worst I've ever heard (apparently it was done by some guy who worked at the publishing company's relatives!).

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE CAN BE THIS BAD AT VOICE ACTING. And why does Uru sound so stereotypically gay?! "I don't really want yo' twisted love. I really don't." I MEAN, WHAT? Seriously. HORRIBLE.

Oh, wait, did I say Chaos Wars has the worst dub ever? I was wrong. This "game" does.

I could try to tell you why this is so bad, but it would either take me years or I would start frothing at the mouth in mere seconds due to my even speaking the name of this abomination. And this clip isn't even the worst of them! Any idiot who paid money for this adventure in wasting time is a sad, sad person and probably will never touch a video game ever again, which is too bad really.

I mean, technically, this isn't a dub in the same way that FFX and Chaos Wars are, but I think it's worth posting for its sheer mediocrity. Besides, the first time I saw it I thought they were dubbing it from some European language.

I'm sorry that I hurt your ears, but if it's any consolation, mine hurt even more -- I had to find these clips AND watch them all the way through AND I watched other clips in between. If you'll excuse me, there's a nice Vicodin with my name on it. (Not really! But there is a little stuffed Pikachu I can rest my head on. Good night.)

P.S. Please, remember that not all English dubs are bad. As I said before, I actually like a lot of them. But sometimes they really are undeniably horrible.

In Which I Get An Obligatory Post Out of the Way So I Can Post .Gifs of Conan O'Brien Dancing

This is Malcolm Gladwell.

As you can see, he's one classy bro. Unfortunately, when I read Outliers for school this summer, I came back in the fall to find myself as one of the only people who felt that way. The name "Malcolm Gladwell" is largely met with a sneer now, even by people who aren't between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, I find, and it saddens me, because how could anyone hate this guy, even dislike him? (He's like Paul Rudd or something! Everyone loves Paul Rudd!)

Despite its age (because 2005 is so old), this review makes me like him even more. I guess I'll summarize it for you, if you're really that lazy. Basically, Gladwell reviews the book Everything Bad is Good For You: How Today's Pop Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter, which is about how today's pop culture is actually making us smarter. Sorry, was that obvious?

Anyway, sarcasm aside, the book discusses how today's popular culture is much more complex than it used to be, which causes us to think more and become much more active participants in what we're watching (or playing; he cites video games as examples, too) than we used to be. This is something I've been saying for years. Critics of the television and video games are only seeing one side of the picture, only taking things at face value. I find that many of them have only sat through a show or a game long enough to be able to develop a thesis statement and be able to denounce it without sounding uninformed.  But they are uninformed, because the things that make these shows, movies, games, whatever, so great are the things that you actually have to think about: the allusions, the references, the metaphors. Why do they think there are so many sites like Television Without Pity or The AV Club, both of which have hundreds of thousands of views? Yes, for every TWOP you have an IMDB, which has way too many whiny preteens complaining about the dearth of shirtless pictures of Devon Werkheiser there are out there, but the TWOPs and the AV Clubs prove that there is a thoughtful, intelligent audience out there willing to be sucked into the television. These people prove that it can't be all bad.

This is one of my favorite parts:

Most of the people who denounce video games, he says, haven’t actually played them—at least, not recently. Twenty years ago, games like Tetris or Pac-Man were simple exercises in motor coördination and pattern recognition. Today’s games belong to another realm. Johnson points out that one of the “walk-throughs” for “Grand Theft Auto III”...is fifty-three thousand words long, about the length of his book. The contemporary video game involves a fully realized imaginary world, dense with detail and levels of complexity...This is why many of us find modern video games baffling: we’re not used to being in a situation where we have to figure out what to do. We think we only have to learn how to press the buttons faster. But these games withhold critical information from the player. Players have to explore and sort through hypotheses in order to make sense of the game’s environment, which is why a modern video game can take forty hours to complete. Far from being engines of instant gratification, as they are often described, video games are actually, Johnson writes, “all about delayed gratification—sometimes so long delayed that you wonder if the gratification is ever going to show.”

Exactly. As I said before, for every Ico and Final Fantasy IV you have at least two dozen mindless first-person shooters, but even those are more complex than your parents' Pong. Ico is one of the most frustrating games that I've ever played, but it's all worth it because I take away so much - it's like a well-made film, complete with a great story, beautiful art, and an immerse world. Gladwell and the author (Steven Johnson) are exactly right - video games today involve a large amount of critical thinking and are often incredibly complicated. But that's what makes them great.

I said before that I am not so keen on the idea of calling this a "pop culture" blog, but after reading this review, I feel less ashamed of the term. If we can learn to ignore Kim Kardashian and Two and a Half-Men then maybe we can start to realize popular culture's true merits.

Now here is a picture of Conan O'Brien (and Andrew W.K.) dancing:

You're welcome.