Showing posts with label wikipedia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wikipedia. Show all posts

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Good News, Everyone! This Title Is Only Slightly More Lame Than Usual!

Hm, on second thought, I don't think that's true. That title is pretty darn lame.



What do YOU think of when you hear someone say "Good news"? If your reply is anything OTHER than Futurama, then you're wrong, and you need to shut your mouth right now and be educated. Honestly.

As seen in that lovely little clip up there, "Good news, everyone!" is the HILARIOUS catchphrase of Professor Farnsworth, whose voice is so amazing that everything I'm writing right now I'm hearing him say in his voice in my head. Oh, and obviously he's one of the main dudes on Futurama.

I think the chances are pretty good that you know what the show's about if you're reading this, so let's skip that. Just read the Wikipedia page if you for some reason DON'T know. The important thing to keep in my mind about the show, however, is that it was canceled back in '03, and then two years ago it was brought back from the dead by Comedy Central (originally on FOX, blah blah) to create a new "season," aka 4 direct-to-DVD movies of highly differing quality.

The first movie was Bender's Big Score, which was the best of the four. If the first movie is the best BY FAR and completely unrivaled in quality, then you're really not doing something right, and you should probably stop making those other, cruddier movies. The second was Beast With a Billion Backs, which was okay. It was much better than the next one, Bender's Game, which was completely unfunny and was practically parodying the show's nerdiness in a much more obnoxious and obvious way. Really bad. The last one, Into the Wild Green Yonder, was pretty good, but, like the two that preceded it, was probably not that necessary, really.

Despite the majority of them being really not worth the money, the movies sold well and Comedy Central was like, "Hey, let's bring this show back for another season, guys!" The South Park kids glared at the executives who said this, sensing competition. But for once, the KIDS FROM SOUTH PARK LOST. And it was an excellent day.

So now, 11 years after the show originally started, we have season 6, which premiered on Comedy Central on Thursday (oh, it's Saturday now? dang, thought it was Friday). BUT IS IS WORTH IT? Boy/girl, I'll tell you.

The first episode, boringly titled "Rebirth" (like I should be criticizing anyone's titles), picked up right where Green Yonder left off, except for the teensy fact that everyone who was on the ship that flew into the wormhole was dead, except for the Professor and Fry. Oh, and Fry had a Fry-fro! ("Professor, my Fry-fro's all frizzy!" So randomly hilarious) The thing is, apparently they're not actually dead? It was kind of convoluted and hard to understand, but the fact of the matter is, thanks to the Professor's pool of stem cells ("Aren't those controversial?" "In your time, yes. But nowadays, shut up! Besides, these are adult stem cells, harvested from perfectly healthy adults, whom I killed for their stem cells") they were all revived, good as new. Bender has a doomsday device implanted inside of him when he nearly "dies" (robots can die?), so in order to prevent it from going off, he has to dance. It's great. Oh, and Leela's in an irreversible coma, anyway, but really, no one cares about her. Well, Fry does, now that they're "together" or whatever. Comedy ensues when Fry, devastated when told Leela's in a coma, goes to Build-a-Bot Workshop and makes a robot Leela...but then the REAL Leela wakes up! GASP!

Towards the end it got pretty insane because a cool plot twist was revealed. I won't spoil it but it has to do with Fry and robots. (It's kind of obvious now. Sort of.) "Rebirth" was a pretty cool episode that introduced us to what the tone is going to be like for this new season while also going back to its old hilarious ways. The Professor completely "won" this episode and had all the best and most easily quotable lines. He also had the Chamber of Understanding, which looks funky and I want it.

I'll give this episode 4 and a half perpetually dancing Benders out of 5.

The next episode felt more like the type that would show up in the original run of the series. Once again, stupid title: "In-A-Gadda-Da-Leela." Yeah, I get the lame reference, GUYS, but it's unwieldy. CHANGE It. Just kidding, you can't. You'll have to live with that poor choice for the rest of your lives. Hee-hee!

This episode was pretty funny, although the plot was a little stupid and I didn't find the "V-GINY" thing as laugh-out-loud hilarious as the writers were making it seem. Basically, there's some Death Sphere that's bent on destroying planets, and Earth is in its path. Nixon (who sounded a little different, or was that just me?) assigns Zapp Brannigan, one of my favorite characters, to stop "V-GINY," and since he's your eternal bachelor he wanted Leela to join him so he could get some alone time with her.

FuturamaThursdays 10pm / 9c
V-GINY
www.comedycentral.com
Futurama New EpisodesFuturama New EpisodesUgly Americans


At the beginning of each Act, there were these dream sequences that were modeled after old radio shows (albeit with images, of course) that were basically Zapp's dreams. They were a nice touch. I liked how low-budget they looked; Leela was played by some girl who two-eyes wearing one giant eye, but you could clearly see her real eyes under the mask.

The best part of the episode is one that I unfortunately can't find a clip of, so you should watch the episode for it. It was a really long gag between Leela and Zapp where Leela uncovers all of Zapp's lies about what's actually happened (the title comes from the fact that Leela thinks they've crashed on this Eden-like planet where they find out that they're the only humans left and have to become like Adam and Eve). It goes on for nearly five minutes, but Zapp's face just kills it. It wasn't the most original joke, but the voice acting and the animation made it hilarious (also the fact that it went on and on and on).

One criticism of this episode was the ending, which was awkward and uncomfortable and kind of out of character. Won't spoil it, but those of you who saw it know what I mean, I hope. I also didn't care much for the B-plot, which had all the other characters becoming this FCC-like group that tried to stop "our planet's indecency" in an attempt to prevent V-GINY from destroying us all. Sometimes the writers forget that the show takes place in the 22nd Century, it seems. While they're obviously free to envision it however they want, there were some questionable parts in this episode.

While I liked "Rebirth" better, Episode-With-Unwieldy-Title was also pretty funny. 3 and a half Cringing Zapp Brannigans out of 5.

Here's a trailer for the new season of Futurama, Thursdays at 10PM on Comedy Central:

Saturday, June 5, 2010

And though we are falling stars, we feel just fine: The Romanticism of Yoko and Pinkerton

I'm a bit of a romantic.

Not in that horrible sense meaning "lover of Sandra Bullock films and other examples of extreme sap-pery," but in the sense that I can't help but find myself attracted to stories of trial and failure.

My love of these types of stories is so great that sometimes the presence of them alone can compel me to do or learn about something that I otherwise would not have.

This happens a lot, probably the most often in fact, with music. Let's discuss.

---



One of my favorite albums is Yoko by the little-known band Beulah. Their biggest claim to commercial fame is their song "Popular Mechanics for Lovers" being featured in The O.C., a show I know way too much about for someone who hasn't even seen more than 25 minutes of it before. 

"Popular Mechanics" could be called representative of Beulah's larger body of work. It's sunny, breezy, and it sounds like something you'd hear on a boardwalk. The lyrics are clever, sometimes biting ("Don't believe a word he says/he wouldn't ever take his heart out for you"), and while they're not necessarily upbeat, the music definitely is.

But to call this the Poster Boy of Beulah's work as a whole would be an outright lie. Yoko is the story of what happens to a band when it's on the brink of destruction. Yoko is what a breakup sounds like. 

It's fitting that the title is the name of the woman often credited for breaking up the Beatles. Here, in a nutshell, is the history of Yoko's production, courtesy Wikipedia:

The period surrounding Yoko's conception and recording was one of great personal strife for the band - [Miles] Kurosky split with his long-term girlfriend and three of the six band members went through divorce while the record was being written, rehearsed and recorded. Amid all this, the foundations of the band appeared to be shaking; rumours of a break-up were rife and well-founded. The mood of the album was certainly much darker and the band phased back much of their instrumentation, preferring to create more of a live sound than layering multiple overdubs atop the mix. The album took a much rockier direction than their previous efforts; yet, upon its release in 2003, attracted a similar lauding that had greeted their previous two records.
So, obviously, heartbreak had a huge effect on the album. The album opens with "A Man Like Me," which is a plea to a lover on her way out to stay. "So try/try lifting all your weight/for a man/a man gone wrong," sings Kurosky, lead singer and one of the principal songwriters for the band. From "A Man Like Me," which is quiet with well-placed outbursts of energy in the chorus, we head into the unbelievably angry "Landslide Baby." Beulah was known for its clever and personal lyrics, and they're definitely there on "Baby;" this time, however, the lyrics (of which "I do believe that you hate yourself" is one) are now combined with a sound that better fits their mood as opposed to the sunny pop Beulah fans were used to. It's angry, it's loud, but it's still catchy and genuine pop. "Baby" stands out as the harshest and maddest song of the band's, and when it comes on right after the sentimental "A Man Like Me," you know that you're in for something quite different.

The band was also once reasonably religious (although it didn't have the greatest bearing on their music) but as their lives started to crumble around them and they fell into their states of (relative) despair, that belief was called into question. This was communicated in "Me and Jesus Don't Talk Anymore". The lyrics are slightly vague, but the devil is talked to "have a lease" and to be "riding with me again," along with "Maybe I'm losing sleep over nothing/maybe I'll be just fine/He tears me away from all those little things/that seemed so important when I knew you." The song ultimately is another lamentation of a relationship ended; this time, it seems more like it's a relationship with Jesus than with a woman, but it resonates all the same, even for those of us less-religious. (It's also really darn good, just in general.)

The sunny pop that the band was most well-known for did not belie any sunny or necessarily optimistic attitude. Even on The Coast is Never Clear, the album that came before Yoko and one that similarly had a troubled production, the recording process was tough and reflected in the lyrics: "Kurosky was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and took daily therapy sessions, which informed the lyrical mood of the record, which was often incredibly downbeat, very much at odds with the breezy, summery feel of the music." However, with Yoko, it was much more obvious that something had gone wrong, if not with the music, then with the band itself.
The band had been struggling to get by from the beginning, from company buyouts to poor sales, but it was never apparent to those who did buy their albums and see their shows that they were really going to call it quits until Yoko. In a way, Yoko the album was the "Yoko" that broke up the band; Kurosky and company flat-out said that Beulah would be no more if the album didn't reach gold status.

Guess what? It didn't. 

While other indie bands were recognized for their greatness and became cult figures post-breakup, even if they didn't necessarily have much fame when they were together, Beulah did not and does not have much of that. Yes, there are devoted fans who constantly lament the death of the band, but in the broadest sense, Beulah failed. They failed, and it stung. While Kurosky rose from the ashes to release a solo album, he and his former band still has not received the recognition they truly deserve. Beulah has faded away, for the most part, and it's a tragedy.

But what a way to go out.

Yoko is one of the band's most critically acclaimed releases, shining bright amongst its brothers. There are, indeed, shades of Coast and the tunes that made Beulah popular with the fans it did have, like "My Side of the City" (which was even featured in a Dance Dance Revolution game!) and "Your Mother Loves You Son." 

The most sensitive and beautiful stuff of their career is on the album, too, like "Don't Forget to Breathe" and my number one favorite, "Hovering." "Don't Forget to Breathe" is the penultimate track to not just the album but also to the band's career. It may be hard to imagine that one track less, less than four minutes long, could end an eight-yearlong journey so perfectly, but it did. When listening to it, the song doesn't really sound like anything special, and it definitely doesn't sound like anything on the other three previous albums (Coast, When Your Heartstrings Break, and Handsome Western States, in reverse chronological order), but that's why there are lyrics. The song sounds like a letter to the people who never cared, never took the time to listen: "Your last words will not be heard/there's too many of them that no one deserves/I don't need your love." This is driven home by the chorus, which rhetorically asks outright, "Is it worth me trying?" 

While their sales weren't strong and their fanbase still remains small, I'm going to answer emphatically "yes." While most people don't know of Beulah, to the people who do, they mean a lot. Their work took a dramatic and darker turn on Yoko, but honestly, it was for the best, and turned out to be the one album that I'll want to have with me always. Yoko might have broken up the band, but if they had to go, at least they left us with this as a parting gift.

---



The best example of this kind of behavior is my love for Weezer's Pinkerton, probably one of the greatest romantic(ist) stories in not-really-that-recent-anymore musical history.

Pinkerton's story is one that I have studied in-depth, but at the same time, it's complicated for me to explain. For the average listener, it can be summed up more easily. It was their sophomore album, following the much poppier and overall happy-go-lucky Blue Album that had sold exceedingly well. The thing was,  Pink was the complete antithesis to Blue, being dark and seen as the progenitor of that now mainstream, much-maligned "emo" genre. Here, as seen on Wikipedia:

Pinkerton is named after the character B.F. Pinkerton from Puccini's opera Madame Butterfly, and the album is loosely based on the opera. Like the Puccini opera, the album includes other references to Japan, Japanese people, and Japanese culture from the perspective of an outsider who considers Japan fragile and sensual. The album's lyrical themes infuse the Japanese allusions with its first-person narrator's romantic disappointments and sexual frustration, the latter at times visceral and graphic. Due to the cohesion of the narrative themes, the album plays as a concept album about sexual longing and lost love, and because of its first-person voice, many consider Cuomo's songs autobiographical. Cuomo has stated that "the 10 songs are sequenced in the order in which I wrote them (with two minor exceptions). So as a whole, the album kind of tells the story of my struggle with my inner Pinkerton."

But then, you still don't know the real background. It started with a leg surgery.
Rivers Cuomo, our Byronic Hero, was born with one leg shorter than the other, a defect that prevented him from pursuing his childhood soccer dreams and required major surgery. If you have seen Cuomo recently, you would know that, obviously, the surgery was successful, but it was still insanely painful. Thus, he took to writing in the hospital as he recovered.

Also during this post-Blue time, Cuomo, disillusioned with the rock star life (a theme he would later address in album opener "Tired of Sex," as well as center the lost Weezer opus Songs from the Black Hole around), took some time off, enrolling at Harvard. Living in self-imposed near-isolation, this period of time was dark for the front man, inspiring directly some of the greatest songs on the album (my personal favorite and lead single, "El Scorcho," has some direct Harvard influence, as Cuomo once told the Crimson, "...one example is, in 'Pinkerton,' in 'El Scorcho,' two lines in the song are actually taken from someone else’s essay in my [Expository Writing] class. Because at one point, we had to do a little workshop thing, and we each got assigned to review someone else’s essay. So, I reviewed this one person’s essay, and I liked some of the lines in it, so I took them and used them in the song"). 

Some other inspired moments from the album include "No Other One," in which Cuomo tells us that, despite all of the things he doesn't like about the girl he's with, "She's all I got/and I don't wanna be alone." "No Other One" has some of the best instrumentation on the album, but it's Rivers Cuomo's sincere and sensitive vocals that really do it for me. "The Good Life" references Rivers persevering disillusionment again; while some called it out for its occasionally less than stellar lyrics ("shaking booty/making sweet love all the night," anyone?), it was a pretty honest expression of the desire to return to the less lonely life, the same one he dreaded in "Tired of Sex."

["The Good Life"] chronicles the rebirth of Cuomo after an identity crisis as an Ivy League loner. Cuomo, who had been isolated while at Harvard, wrote it after "becoming frustrated with that hermit's life I was leading, the ascetic life. And I think I was starting to become frustrated with my whole dream about purifying myself and trying to live like a monk or an intellectual and going to school and holding out for this perfect, ideal woman. And so I wrote the song. And I started to turn around and come back the other way."
Pinkerton is a chronological album, presented in the order it was written. Rivers Cuomo starts off as a rock star getting tired of the lifestyle ("Tired of Sex"), lamenting about it ("Why Bother?") until he decides to lead a life in isolation, as a "hermit" in a completely new place (Harvard). The single most-discussed song on the album, "Across the Sea," recounts the absolute lowest point in Cuomo's romanticist journey to find himself. It's the heartbreaking story of his receiving a fan letter from someone all the way "across the sea," and, even knowing he'll never see her, ever, falls in love with her, largely because he's so lonely. Fans bring it up so often because it's such a specific tale, as opposed to the slightly more general but still extremely personal "No Other One" and "Getchoo", and you can feel the pain that he's feeling. The exceptional songwriting that is heard throughout the album stands out the most here.

So the album stemmed from pain to begin with. Despite that, it was quite brilliant. The problem? Few people initially felt the same. Fans felt alienated, critics called the lyrics childish, overwrought, and insincere, and the band faded into the exact thing that Cuomo had wanted to get out of so badly, obscurity, and even more so, isolation. The album crashed and burned; being a very dark and wintry album released in mid-September, the teenagers that made up the majority of Weezer's fanbase either were disinterested in it when they had it or did not feel compelled to buy it. The sales were awful, and it seemed that what the critics of Blue had thought was true: the band was just a novelty act, a two-hit wonder. (You can read an interesting and informative thesis by a Harvard grad on the subject here.)

As everyone familiar with the phrase "Beverly Hills, that's where I want to be" knows, Weezer isn't exactly suffering anymore; at least, not commercially. But it is critically and artistically that they have let their game down. Cuomo thought that the failure of Pinkerton was everything that made it so appealing to the people who embraced it, albeit a little too late; he thought it was too personal, too romantic. He famously compared it to "being really drunk at a party and having everyone watch you." But if Pinkerton is what Rivers Cuomo produces when he's "drunk," then I hope that he sips some of that alcohol again soon. 

(Note: while Weezer's absolute worst album, Make Believe, sold a ton, the two similarly awful albums to follow it were not nearly as successful, and the band, last I heard, has now found themselves without a record label. While they're sure to end up somewhere else soon, it's a sign that maybe today's listeners would be more receptive, even encouraging, of a new Pinkerton-style Weezer album. Rivers Cuomo, though, being the Byronic figure he is, is probably too arrogant to ever admit that he was wrong about thinking that Pink was dreck, and we'll probably see him in even stranger facial hair and outfits to come.)

---

What does it say about our society that it's the tragedies that stay with us the most? Better yet, what does it say about us that we let these musical tragedies occur? 

You may think that the story of Weezer isn't tragic, and as I said before, commercially, no, it isn't. But artistically, the death of Pinkerton and the band's integrity is a loss for lovers of good music.

Beulah's story is most sympathetic, especially when you consider that they never really achieved the success that they wanted to or deserved. But I do believe that the band appreciated the fans it did have. Why would they give us four excellent albums if they didn't? 

The romanticism of music is the most compelling to me, but in other media it is of interest and importance, too. Maybe we'll get to that someday.

Download: "Don't Forget to Breathe" and "Landslide Baby" by Beulah; "El Scorcho" and "Across the Sea" by Weezer; *BONUS* "Hovering" by Beulah 

I'd recommend that you buy Yoko here
And I'd also suggest that you purchase Pinkerton here. (A deluxe edition is on Pre-Order here if you're interested.)

P.S. Weird teenager-y Rivers pic found here.  
P.P.S. Sorry this post has a stupid URL. I pressed publish too early. Hence the wrong "posted by" time. I actually posted it about three and a half hours later, heh. But you probably don't care!

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Now Featuring Danish Subtitles!

Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. ...I thought I had locked the door...how did you get in, anyway?

Well, no matter.

This morning I chose to start my day by re-reading Sacha Baron Cohen's Wikipedia page. I did not plan to do this. It just happened. However, I believe that it was fate that brought Mr. Baron Cohen's Wiki page and I together, for reading it for the third time led me on a journey -- a journey through the world of YouTube. Sort of.

According to Wikipedia,  Baron Cohen is involved (somehow) with a movie called Dinner for Schmucks. Yes, the title is stupid. But you haven't seen the poster!


"Steve Carell?" I said. And then I looked to the right. I gasped: "Paul Rudd?!" Immediately I had to know everything about this movie. I mean, come on. Steve Carell. And Paul Rudd. In a film. Together. With (as I found out from Wikipedia) Jemaine Clement and ZACH GALIFIANAKIS. It's like the writers sought out to please me specifically. Too bad Jason Bateman's not in it. (Also, I'm just going to pretend that Jeff Dunham doesn't exist.)

I then headed to YouTube to witness this Dream Team in action.



Yeah, so, it is kind of stupid. I hate the premise, and I hate all of the destruction that goes on. It makes me cringe. I'm going to give the film the benefit of the doubt, though, because I just have to. I'm physically incapable of being apathetic about or even disinterested in this movie!

Trailer Rating: 3 Steve Carell's in Glasses out of 5.

After watching that trailer, I found myself compelled to watch more. "Curse you, YouTube," I hissed as I clicked on the trailer for The Kids are All Right, "for making everything so accessible!" (YouTube, if you're reading this, please don't be offended; I love you, I do.)

The Kids are All Right is a movie that I've been hearing lots of good buzz about for a long time. (Okay, maybe not that long. Only since Sundance, less than three months ago. I'm a kid; life moves fast when you spend your whole day reading Wikipedia articles!)  Even though I had been instructed by many a magazine to look it up, I never really did. But today, I pleased many film critics across the country by watching the trailer.



The first things I noticed were "Cousins" by Vampire Weekend playing and JOSH HUTCHERSON. Josh Hutcherson! You know, Josh Hutcherson. He's sort of like my generation's Steve Zahn; he's been in a ton of movies, but you never really remember who he is when you see him. You just know that you know him.

But this time, I remembered him. Geez, he grew up. He actually looks his age now! Things kind of rolled on like a bumpy Katamari after that. I got this feeling that the movie is better than the trailer wanted to let on. I mean, on the one hand, you have the story about the kids of lesbians trying to find their sperm donor/father. That's an unconventional twist on the popular Lifetime trope "MOM SHUT UP I WANNA FIND MY FATHER BECAUSE I'M AN ANGSTY TEENAGER WAAH." And then, on the other hand, you have one of said lesbians making out with said sperm donor/father. Erm.  Yeah.

Oh, and Mia Wasikowska is like an irritating little mixture of Gwenyth Paltrow and Claire Danes.


Anyway, this trailer gets 2.5 Child Actors out of 5.

Then I stumbled upon The Greatest, starring, amongst others, Carey Mulligan and Aaron Johnson as Brits Who Are Trying Really Hard To Sound Like Americans and Failing. Luckily for them, I like them. I like everyone in this movie: Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Johnny Simmons; what's not to like? (Although I must admit that I'm more scared of Susan Sarandon than fond. I blame that movie Step-Mom.)



I love the song. I think it was written specifically for the film. If that's true, then I'm calling mutiny on the Academy if it's not nominated next year! (Knowing how much the Academy likes to irritate me, I'm also calling now that it won't be.)

This was my favorite trailer so far. It was sappy, it was annoying at times, but it actually inspired some sort of response from me. Well, a response other than confusion or disgust. It made me want to go see it, badly. Very badly. And that's the best thing a trailer can do, isn't it?

5 Unbelievably Accent-Less Actors out of 5!

The first time I watched the next trailer, for Take Me Home, I thought, "Wow. This is stupid." But after watching it again...maybe it was Sufjan Stevens' "Come On, Feel the Illinoise!" but I liked it. A lot.



I think I hated it the first time because I wasn't sure if Amber and Sam Jaeger were siblings or not. I was convinced that they were brother and sister, and incest is only cool if it's the kind on Arrested Development (and that wasn't even real incest, so). But then I watched it again. And then I found out they were married, which is completely different than being siblings. And then I came to love how inventive the plot was - a guy (lonely, I suppose, or just poor) decides to become a fake cab driver - all the benefits of being a real cab driver without the certification and the annoying hours! The "romantic comedy" part invokes images of Matthew McConaughey and/or Sandra Bullock, but not all romantic comedies are drivel. I don't know if this one has a release date any more specific than "2010," but I'll be keeping my eyes on it. (Which means I won't be keeping my eyes on it at all until, by a stroke of luck, I find out about it again.)

4 Unknown Talents out of 5 is what this gets from me.

The last trailer I watched was the funniest -- and not at all intentionally. Observe, Love at First Hiccup:



Just let that soak in. Let it invade your pleasure centers. Let your body erupt with unrestrained feelings of pity and amusement.

For the uninitiated: The star of this film is Devon Werkheiser. Devon Werkheiser was the star of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide on Nickelodeon. Devon Werkheiser still has all of his baby teeth.

And now, Devon Werkheiser will have his "first time" in a film that is an R-rated remake of a Danish family film.

Yes.

There is so much stupidity in this trailer that it hurts. The cheesy music, Corey Feldman's illegitmate potty-mouth son, the awkwardness, the jerkface boyfriend, the slow-motion, the gay joke, the OH GOD JUST EVERYTHING. My gut exploded at least four times in the two minutes and seven seconds that this trailer lasted, and then it exploded AGAIN.

The best part about everything is that DEVON WERKHEISER STILL LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE NED BIGBY. NED BIGBY STARS IN THIS FILM. Please, try to understand how HILARIOUS this is to me.


This movie was supposed to come out last year. Obviously, it didn't. Will it ever come out? Part of me really, really hopes so, but for the public's sake, let's hope it stays on the shelf of its little Danish director for the rest of her (or, um, his?) life. Or at least just send it straight-to-DVD. Does anyone over the age of eight (or under the age of 35) even watch anything that goes straight-to-DVD? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I think this movie is supposed to be funny -- it's hard to tell. The thing is, though, it's not funny when it's trying to be, or for the reasons it tries to be. It's funny because it's so...not good. Maybe this film isn't particularly not good, like Battlefield Earth or Manos: The Hands of Fire, but I'd put it in the realm of Twilight.

I give this trailer one Danish-subtitled Mess out of five.

Does your head hurt yet? Good. So does mine. I'm going to have the surprisingly decent singing voice of Devon Werkheiser lull me to sleep. You should, too.