My Year in Lists, Part 3: TV, Movies, and "Be Seeing You"

"My Year in Lists" by Los Campesinos!

This is the first New Year's Eve in years that I've actually been a functioning person and not just a depressed blob. Yay me! Although that "functioning" part only goes so far: despite my obvious love for television, I cannot for the life of me make a coherent list of what I liked watching this year. I can try, but it's really difficult. Behold, the fruits of my effort:

FAVORITE SHOW OF 2010

 30 Rock

Obviously. The latter half of Season 4 and everything shown of Season 5 so far has been wonderful. From the introduction of CAROL, to the rapid-fire and insane jokes, 30 Rock this year was pretty consistently perfect. Sure, there were definitely some clunkers (I for one would prefer to never see that episode guest-starring John Slattery ever again), but I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say this was the funniest show on TV in 2010.

Best episodes: Season 4's "Don Geiss, America and Hope" and "I Do Do," Season 5's "When It Rains, It Pours," "Live Show," "Reaganing," and "College"

Honorable Mentions: Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Flapjack on Cartoon Network. The latter had a really terrible series finale though. Why did it even have to end?! Regardless, Cartoon Network is in the middle of a mini-Renaissance here with its new cartoon block. Adventure Time, Regular Show, and Robotomy (NOT MAD, bleck) made for a solid hour of Monday night TV this year. It was the most consistently entertaining slew of shows this side of Thursday Nights on NBC. Check out these episodes: "The Duke" (Adventure Time), "The Unicorns Have Got to Go," (Regular Show), "All Hands on Deck" (Flapjack)

The Fonzie For TV's Most Improved: Parks and Recreation; Community. I went from cringing every time these shows were on to laughing at them much more than I was laughing at The Office, which I was watching voluntarily. Okay, that isn't hard, but Parks and Recreation and Community both had great seasons this year. While Parks and Rec was relegated to a mid-season replacement (Thanks Outsourced...) Community has been rocking it all Fall long. I recommend marathoning it on Hulu as I did recently. 

Stupidest Reality Show That I Actually Watched Weekly: Pathetically I basically watch NBC comedies, cartoons, and MTV docu-reality shows and that's kind of it. The worst of the latter was easily Teen Mom. I don't think I need to even explain this choice. It's obvious. Even I got tired of it and I don't think I'll be watching it again next year. Runner-up is this season's Project Runway, which gets the title solely because GRETCHEN DID NOT DESERVE TO WIN AND I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO STRESS THIS ENOUGH. TEAM MONDO FOREVER.

Most Surprisingly Great Reality Show: Tie between Work of Art and Top Chef: Just Desserts. Why don't you read my posts about them and find out for yourself how entertaining they were? Those Magical Elves really know their stuff and had a really strong year, and with the repeatedly awesome Top Chef: All Stars continuing its season into the New Year it's looking like 2011 will be great for them, too. 

Obviously, I need to start watching Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and every other show you like. I will!

THE MOVIES I SAW THIS YEAR*

*The reviews are ones I published on my Flixster. Yep.

How to Train Your Dragon

AWW. IT WAS SO GOOD. It was really adorable and well-done in just about every way. The celebrity voice acting was actually quite good and I didn't even realize that it was all done by celebrities until the credits at the end. The story of Hiccup and Toothless was really sweet. I thought it was kind of annoying that all of the other kids started to like Hiccup when he showed dragon taming prowess, seemingly ONLY because of this talent, but by the end I barely minded. Also, the animation was of a very high quality; I think it was Dreamworks' best looking film to date. Highly recommended!

Also had the most surprising yet perfect ending to any movie I saw this year. I have to watch this again (on my Blu-ray :]) soon.

 Exit Through the Gift Shop

Movies like this are the kinds of documentaries that I like. Cool and interesting.

 Since that review is utter nonsense, read my post about the movie instead.

Please Give

The acting was good, but the story was meandering and ultimately pointless.

I think this was my least favorite of all of the movies I saw this year. I'm surprised that it got so many good reviews. This movie was largely forgettable; if it weren't for the excellent Rebecca Hall (who is on her way to making it really big; see: The Town), then I think I would have liked this movie even less. Rebecca Hall made it worth watching, even though I feel like her character became less and less interesting as the movie went on. Oh, and the girl playing Catherine Keener and Oliver Platt's daughter was great, too.

Toy Story 3

This was THE single most perfect ending I've ever seen to a trilogy in my life. The Toy Story series is my favorite of all time, the first one being my favorite movie ever, and this one is now most likely my second favorite. Definitely in my Top 5. I'm not that much of an emotional person but I was sobbing while watching it. It was EXCELLENT. Hilarious AND beautiful. You need to see this. Now. NOW. GO NOW.

 Yes, this is one of my favorite movies of all-time, and easily of the entire year. Really just perfect.  I need to watch my fancy Blu-ray of it soon...

Inception

Okay, I'll be honest - the last 1/3 of the movie was a little weak. I'll try to avoid spoilers but it just was confusing and went on too long. That aside, this movie was a perfect action movie - exciting, fun, smart, and keeps you on the edge of your seat. It seems complicated - it is. But it all starts to make a ton of sense until you start worrying that your life may be but a dream, too. (Well, the last part's confusing, but ignore that for now.) The acting was awesome and the story was the bomb. SEE IT.

 Also see my mini-review here.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

I liked it a LOT more than I thought I would. It was by no means perfect, but it was FUN, and that's what it needed to be. It wasn't a completely faithful adaptation, and there were definite problems, but the sum of its parts were wholly satisfying. WHOLLY. SATISFYING.

 CAPITAL LETTERS. Read my mini-review here.

Summer Wars

It was quite good. It reminded me a lot of Digimon: The Movie -- in a good way! It was very hardcore and sometimes unbelievable but still a lot of fun. Great characters. I must say though, overall I liked The Girl Who Leapt Through Time better. But this was still great.

 This movie is now out in select theaters in English, so go see it if you can! (Not that it wasn't great in Japanese. Subtitles, though, aren't for everyone.)

The Social Network

I enjoyed the dialogue. Aaron Sorkin's a master. I also liked Andrew Garfield and Armie Hammer (great name) as the Winklevi, tee-hee. Jesse Eisenberg made Mark Zuckerberg into this disturbing, depressed, awkward, uncomfortable to watch tragic (tragicomic?) figure, and I think his performance was so subtle that I didn't realize how good it was until the last scene. The last scene really brought it all together for me. That's when I knew that Mark was indeed our hero, or anti-hero. I had thought it was Eduardo all along. While Eduardo wasn't a villain perse, it's clear that Mark is our poor unfortunate soul of a very, very rich main character. Man, that guy's rich. But, um, yeah, do believe the hype, because this movie is very good.

I look forward to hearing this film's name called for nearly every category at next year's Oscars. I look even more forward to it winning several awards (maybe even Best Picture?).

Catfish

I got a very cool opportunity to watch this movie at a screening that had a Q&A afterwards with the directors + Nev. VERY cool. And since I'm a kid and there were other kids there and kids are just awesome, Nev and Rel stuck around for an hour (maybe even more; they were still talking to other people 20 minutes after I left!) and took more questions and talked to us. Very cool. All of the other girls were fawning over Nev but my friends and I talked to Rel, who was similarly very nice (but not as...not charming, but obsessed with the ladies). So, very cool. Although Henry disappeared. I wanted to talk to him, too. Oh well. It was cool talking to/shaking the hand of a filmmaker.

 Ah yes, my non-review. This movie was almost as much of a thriller as Inception was, and in that regard, it succeeded. Sure, it may be a bit dubious morally, but it was a heck of a ride.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part I

I think I may be closer to a 4.5 on this one, but I really did love it, and would rank it up there with 1 and 3. It did feel like there was more "exposition" (even though these movies abandoned trying to re-familiarize audiences with the overarching plot about 3/4 movies ago, which is both good and bad) than actual action but I enjoyed it as a more character-driven story than other movies were. I really love the interaction between our main gang, especially Harry and Hermione and Ron and Hermione (I just love Hermione), and it was nice seeing pretty much all of our favorite characters again, even briefly (LUPIN HI LUPIN...WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING COME BACK AND BE IN THE WHOLE MOVIE PLEASE he looked really good in this movie, I feel like he's decreasing in age or something). This movie was SO BEAUTIFUL, I really felt like saying "wow" the whole time. The colors and the locations were great. Those HP kids better be grateful that they got to see all of these amazing places. The ending felt a bit odd; "No, Harry, I can't help Dobby, we haven't reached our death quota yet! And also it would be a perfectly sad way to end this movie! So let's end it now! Predictably! But let's also remind people that this is TBC by showing Voldemort! Yay!" Also I haven't read the book since it came out so the movie was a bit hard to follow at times, but even so this felt like one of the most succinct (despite its running time) films in the series, as well as the most engaging, and I'm SO READY for Part 2!

Stealth-edit. (how could I forget this movie?!?!)

BOOM. MOVIES OF THE YEAR. RIGHT THERE. Sort of.

Movies I wanted to see but didn't but will see soon: Black Swan; The King's Speech; 127 Hours; True Grit; Greenberg; The Kids Are All Right; Easy A; Winter's Bone; Waiting for "Superman"; Somewhere; Tangled; The Illusionist; Blue Valentine. Yeah, I don't get out much.

Alrighty then. There you have it. 2010 was a pretty decent year for me in many ways. 2011's going to be extremely scary, but I'm going to be cautiously optimistic. Optimism! That's new for me.

So, be seeing you in 2011, then!

I liked it a LOT more than I thought I would. It was by no means perfect, but it was FUN, and that's what it needed to be. It wasn't a completely faithful adaptation, and there were definite problems, but the sum of its parts were wholly satisfying. WHOLLY. SATISFYING.
clear rating

The acting was good, but the story was meandering and ultimately pointless.
clear rating

100TH POST YAY!

Hello and welcome to FWSF's 100th Post Spectacular!

...Just kidding. While this is indeed our 100th post, I wouldn't call it spectacular in anyway. It is exciting though! For me! And hopefully for you!

When I had to make this blog for a class assignment back in April I didn't really expect to keep doing it almost 7 months later, but here we are, with over 7,000 page views since late May. I'd say that's pretty good for a blog with virtually no advertising, written by a 16 year old who mostly references things that no one else would understand except her for they are inside jokes she has with herself.

And while most of my comments/followers are my friends, it's nice to see that I've gotten the occasional anonymous comment from someone I presumably don't know. (2 of the 3 were pretty mean but I'll take that as a sign that they think this blog is a lot more substantial than it actually is!)

So instead of doing anything really cool, I'm just going to give you some links to some of my favorite posts on this site.

The first post: Okay, this isn't really one of my "favorite" posts, but where would we be without it? Probably at only 99 posts. And that is a major difference that I never want to think about, ever. (Also, now you heathens can stop asking me about where the title comes from because it's REALLY ANNOYING and I explained it already in this post, geez!)

The second post: I had a lot of fun writing that one. It was entertaining, it didn't feel like a chore as writing posts often does these days, and I even tried to start a running gag with it. I should start making fun of Devon Werkheiser again. I think I kind of replaced him with Justin Bieber. (Also, I think this post is solely responsible for the decent traffic I get from Denmark. Wait 'til those guys find out that I don't know a THING of Danish!)

The Glee rant: Glee and I have a really unhealthy relationship. Use this post as your primer. Also this post is the reason that my blog shows on on Ask.com under "Examples of Satire." Is it self-obsessed to quote your own writing? Good thing I never claimed to be anything otherwise!:

This show just tries to do too much in too short of a time. It tries so hard. It's like that annoying girl in your tenth grade Earth Science class who is like, "Yeah, I do this, this, and this, and I'm awesome, and I'm so good at everything I do, because I do a lot and that makes me awesome and yeah and stuff and um, crud, do we have a test today, because I totally did not study, like, at all" and then they go and they suck at everything they try to do, and you would applaud them for their effort if they weren't so annoying, and then you have to be fake friends with them because you don't want to be mean and then you go and you take to your little blog and you go and you rant like crazy and everyone has no choice but to agree with you because you are so irritated. Yeah. It's exactly like that.

The beginning of many J. Biebz related posts: I had so much fun watching th videos for and just writing this post in general. I love ranting. Justin Bieber is such an easy target, but I don't hate him. Why should I? He's never wronged me. HE ONLY LOVES. Seriously, he's never written a song about anything BUT loving people. Why y'all hatin'? WHY

On that note, the post about "Baby": I think it's important to find yourself amusing. Although not in an obnoxious way. But still, this post is a perfect example of me finding myself amusing.

MADE: I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I had a heck of a good time watching this episode of MADE (twice) and writing about it. This post is insanely mean but I don't really care. I like the title of it. YEAAAAAH!

The Persona 4 comic post: I love that Persona 4 comic, almost as much as the game itself. It really is amazing. So that's why I'm happy that this is one of my most-read posts with 255 page views. (Pretty good for this blog, as I said before!)

Essay about Pinkerton and Yoko: This essay took me like 5 hours to write. It was worth it. It was a big accomplishment for me. I did so much research and everything for it...I'M PROUD OF MYSELF ;_; despite no one reading it.

Guilty pleasure songs: I chair danced so much for this, you don't even want to know. Does chair dancing sound gross/inappropriate? It really isn't! It's just swaying in your chair! That's how I dance.

Just all of July in general: But this post in particular. Y'know, THAT'S what I should have done. Oh well. Maybe I'll ammend a handwritten note onto this later. That post has links to other July posts. It was crazy that I wrote a post every single day that month. Don't think that'll ever be happening again! Fun while it lasted, although I definitely struggled. Most if not all of my top 5 most-read posts were written during this month!

Guest posts: Thanks to everyone who wrote a guest post for me. Two are linked in that last July post, and then here's the one Blaire wrote for me. Still open to having people write guest posts for me!

Emmy Recap: Okay, it wasn't that well-written or anything but it's important to me in that it was a top Google result and it received my first really mean comment. Thank you, Lisa, for thinking my blog is important enough to criticize!

Top Chef Seth post: Dare I say CONTROVERSIAL? Nah. That's pushing it. But I got this EXTREMELY mean comment on it that I didn't even publish because it was really...pathetically mean. So then I added that dumb little note on the bottom. This post had some ill-advised comments in it but I'm a kid, of course I say stupid things! I don't regret it either way. Got me a lot of Google results and page views!


So, that should last you for the entirety of November, I'd think. Don't worry, though, I'll still be posting. Let's try and make it to 1000! Yay.

Thanks to everyone's who's read this blog, I really do appreciate it. Even if it makes little sense half of the time.

100th post, over :D

Top Chef: Just DRAMA (Or A Pun to That Effect)

MAN. MAN! Major stuff just went down on Top Chef: Just Desserts, man! AND I AM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF PROCESSIN'. THIS MAY TAKE A MOMENT.

[a moment]

Okay!

So if you haven't been watching, then you don't know who Seth is. This is sad. I pity you. Seth is one of the greatest gifts television has received since whatever that last greatest gift was. (Alec Baldwin, maybe?) Seth was the mentally ill guy with obvious mommy issues who managed to have a meltdown about everything. "Hey, Seth, pass me that spoon, would you?" "Spoon? What are you talking about? Who do you think I am? I can't work like this! I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS! SOMEONE HOLD ME! I NEED A CREAMSICLE AND A HUG RIGHT. NOW. MOMMY!" Or perhaps, "Seth, I think you are a talented pastry chef." "WELL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN GO [censored] YOUR [censored] [censored] AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE MAN? I DON'T NEED THIS. I'M GONNA GET ME A FINANCIER AND A SAMMICH AND I'LL SEE YOU IN A FEW MINUTES OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE THERE REALLY ISN'T ANYWHERE TO GO, SO, YEAH."

Yes, that is Seth in a nutshell. Obviously, he is hysterical. How I adore laughing at the mentally unstable on TV! This is what America's about, baby! HECK YEAH AMERICA. While the show has a lot of other good qualities (I mean, it has the word "dessert" in the title; there's no way you can get me to NOT watch it unless "dessert" is preceded by "Twilight-Inspired" or "Very Unappetizing," although I'd probably watch the latter anyway because I'm bored), the best thing about it was quite obviously Seth's really, really demented persona that was unclear as to whether or not it was put on.

Today's episode, which I'm still in the middle of watching, started with what was an excellently absurd tantrum brought to us by our bro. The Quickfire Challenge was to use ice cream and other items to make a sundae. "Can we make our own ice cream?" neurotic Seth asked once Gail stopped yapping about how "we have Breyer's! *smile for the camera* ice cream!" "NO, SETH. YOU CAN'T. WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? LIKE. WHAT," responded Gail, still smiling for the camera while modeling a carton of Breyer's! ice cream. (Please note: I love Gail, she rules.)

Seth, like any sensible human being would when faced with the fact that there are no options but Breyer's!, proceeded to flip out.

All of the other contestants (yes, oddly enough, there are people on the show OTHER than just Seth!) rolled their eyes and chanted all of the curses of death that they could remember in their heads as Seth screamed "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO COOK WITH THAT [censored] [censored]?! MY MOMMY WOULD NOT APPROVE!" Then, trying to ease back onto the ground, Seth looked for "his" paper cups. "Hey. Where the [censored] [censored] are my paper cups?!" [/Arrested Development reference, although he seriously said this, basically] Since Seth could not find his paper cups, he obviously could never function like a normal person ever again. So, he walked out of the room.

Everyone cheered; Yigit was as ecstatic as a person named Yigit can get; Zac's face was as pink as his ascot; that Muppet Danielle grimaced, which in her language is a sign of pleasure; Eric continued to look far older than he actually is, but regardless, he was happy.

But then Yigit, who has inordinately large ears (as well as amounts of screen time), heard sirens. "SIRENS? WHAT?! HOW COULD THIS BE? Does this mean we're actually in the real world and not Just Desserts Land like Bravo told us? SO I COULD HAVE BEEN CALLING MY MOM? Lame." But the sirens not only let us know that there was a real world out there, but that also, Seth kind of had an anxiety attack and was lying on the ground. The ambulance came and he claimed to have "never had an anxiety attack before." Right, Seth. Right.

Seth got taken away and things started to feel weird. Would he come back? Would neighborhood children from that savage, cruel real world pelt the ambulance with pastries? The answers, in order, are NO and LIKE I KNOW, WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

That's right. Seth got taken away in the ambulance and was "not deemed fit to compete any longer." Apparently NO ONE HAD EVER SEEN THE FOOTAGE FROM THE PREVIOUS THREE EPISODES, BUT OKAY. How this man passed any mental health test is beyond me, first of all, but because of this anxiety attack, Seth was gone, and so was my love for the show.

Johnny came in to tell the chefs what had happened. Unfortunately, he assumed that they would care and feel badly. He was quite wrong.

Johhny: "Hey guys. Sorry to tell you this, but Seth just got taken in an ambulance and won't be coming back. He had an anxiety attack so he's no longer fit to compete."
Everyone else: "Hooray! Now our non-existent personalities will get some screen time! And now we won't have anyone to make fun of anymore!"
Johnny: "Wait, so you're happy about this?"
Everyone else: "Of course we are! Now, let's go back to work! We want to make ice cream sundaes and play with each other's hair and smoosh cake all over each other's faces because we're feeling playful and fun! SUNSHINE!"

It was horrible and pathetic and it made me sad. Top Chef: Just Desserts is Top Chef: Sans All of the Fun That Makes You Want to Watch. Goodbye, Seth. I'll miss you and your disturbing sociopathic antics. SO MUCH.

Picture found here.

EDIT: Apparently it was not as obvious to people other than myself that Seth was merely a character; the likelihood that the Seth that exists outside of Top Chef is nearly as disturbed or even "mentally ill" as he appears to be on the show is low. OF COURSE I don't find REAL "mentally ill" people entertaining in the slightest; it's called a joke, pathetic, mediocre, exploitative, or unfunny it may be.

If you find this rant boring, pathetic, or you thought that Seth's treatment on the show was exploitative, then, well, why are you reading, anyway? Please go use your time more productively while I go cough like a Japanese schoolgirl. "Cough desu! COUGH DESU!" *dramatic sigh*

To all of the places that I have known!

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. It's so crazy, I enjoy it immensely.

In other news, I have to go watch a new episode of Top Chef: Just Desserts and the new and quite good drama Lone Star just got cancelled after two episodes. Sad. Although I guess I shouldn't have expected much; it's critically-acclaimed and aired on FOX. So... :(

Well, um, good night. Ed is a por-TAAAAAAL!

Bucky Gunts Presents FWSF's Emmy Recap

Thank you, Mr. Gunts.

So it goes like this: The Oscars are the Patriarch. They are bulletproof. Even when the hosts are bad (like, sadly, this year's were) the show is still amazing because nothing beats its turn-out. The Golden Globes are that smelly uncle from a foreign country that you don't see very often - and don't really want to. But sometimes he brings you some really awesome presents, so you hang out with him a little.

The Emmys are the Oscars' red-headed child. Not step-child, real kid. They try to live up to the Oscars despite their obvious hindrances (red hair/no awesome movies stars, just a lot of cynical TV actors). A lot of the time, they fail. But that's because you don't get to know them. You ignore them. Once you get to know them, once you start to care about them, they're fun. They're worth it.

Last night's Emmys weren't perfect - but they never are. I mean, come on. But they were enjoyable, for the most part. Here are my highlights:

• The opening skit was actually pretty good, despite me being all "EWW GLEE I'M SO TIRED OF YOU GAWRSH" when I saw Lea Michele's confused bangs poke out from the corner of my TV. Jimmy Fallon proved himself to be up to the task. Reuniting him with Tina Fey made me very happy inside. Kate Gosselin, who, by the way, should NEVER EVER be invited to the Emmys EVER AGAIN, was seriously hilarious. And even though I don't really know "Born to Run" they all did an awesome job. I was surprised they didn't make fun of Jorge Garcia more, though. I mean, come on. It's so obvious. And they just ignored little Nina Dobrev, dancing back there. Why was she even there? The Vampire Diaries wasn't nominated for anything, was it? So strange.
• 
  Oh, let me add: I think Jon Hamm rules. Thanks 30 Rock, for teaching me that he has some serious comedy skills! But he seriously is very, very, VERY funny. When he joined the Glee Club (that is so weird to write) I was happy. "DREW AND LIZ TOGETHER A-GAIN!" 
• 
  Since Comedy is the only category I actually watch anything in, I was upset to see it go first. C'mon, guys, you want me to watch for the whole three hours, don't you? But of course, I had to keep watching anyway. The power of bright shiny lights and promises of Ricky Gervais/George Clooney/etc.
• 
  The first award of the night was, weirdly, for Supporting Actor. Seriously guys? You had to go with one of the big categories first? And ACTOR? I would've gone with Actress first, personally, because it's so predictable. Knock the easy ones out first. But I was interested to see who would win this one; I knew it was going to be one of the Modern Family dudes, and I was personally rooting for Ty Burrell. I'm pretty sure Phil is everyone's favorite character. (I'll ask everyone later if this is accurate. I have them locked up downstairs.) But JTF and Eric Stonestreet were deserving too. I love Kurt -- "Rose's Turn" was seriously the best moment of Glee's first season ("If it wasn't for me, then where would you be, Miss Rachel Ber-RRRRRY? *jazz hands*" I'm listening to it now, and never turning it off, thanks), but it wasn't his time. Honestly, will it ever be? I don't know. We'll see. Also, I'm just realizing Jack McBrayer wasn't nominated. That is disgusting and someone will pay. Anyway, Eric Stonestreet won. He made a nice speech. I was happy for him, because he really did deserve it, even if his character isn't my favorite. 
• 
  I knew 30 Rock wasn't going to win any of the big categories, but I really hoped that they'd win a Writing Award, at least! I marathon-ed 30 Rock earlier that day and "Anna Howard Shaw Day" was a hilarious episode. It wasn't the best, and I personally would have nominated "Future Husband" or one of the other Wesley episodes, but it was still great. I haven't see "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter" so I can't comment on its quality. I knew Glee had no chance, but the "Pilot" was an excellent episode, so I'm glad that it was the one nominated. The episode nominated for The Office was one of the few good ones from the season, and Modern Family could basically have any episode nominated and stand a good chance. As it turns out, they won. Yay.
• 
  Oh, right, by the way, I liked the videos they made. The Glee one made me giggle violently. Seriously, I was physically ill by the time I was done. HE SAID HE LOOKED LIKE A SHETLAND PONY. BAHAHA. 
• 
  Stephen Colbert is a perfect human being. His joke was a bit obvious but that man delivers. I bow to you, Stephen. The category he was announcing was Supporting Actress, which was obvious so I just complained about how Jane Lynch was getting way too big now and moved on. But did you see Jane Krakowski after the other Jane won? She looked so sad. Don't worry, Jen. I think you're excellent.
• 
  They showed a ton of weird Community commercials. I couldn't hear them half the time because the people in my house don't understand that the TV is something people like to LISTEN TO. But they didn't seem that funny. It was really strange. But I'm glad NBC is confident in the nomination-less Community. It is a pretty good show. Not amazing, but funny. Troy and Abed are the bomb.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon did this pretty nuts six degrees of separation thing linking Matthew Perry to Lauren Graham (or the other way around, whatever). This would have been a lot cooler to me if I didn't completely despise the both of them. Seriously, I think they're awful. Completely unfunny. I hate Friends and I can't stand Gilmore Girls. Also, that joke that I think Lauren made about Matthew Perry playing "another gay character" wasn't funny, at all. Anyway, they talked about the people who had won for guest roles. It was boring and just made me feel resentful towards Betty White. Sorry, Betty, but I think you're starting to be overexposed. But NPH, keep doing your thing, honey, yo' perfect. LOVE YOU.
• 
  The comedy directing tapes were really, really strange. Why was Ryan Murphy holding Britney (who looked insane at the show, by the way. I was surprised) like she was his prostitute? Highly disturbing. I had expected, even sort of wanted him to win before that, but then I was a little unsure. He might use the Award to entice more young prostitutes. He ended up winning, so someone should keep an eye on him.
• 
  The little Modern Family short was pretty amusing. The Sofia Vergara-in-3D joke was starting to be overkill. I think I'd be more afraid of Christina Hendricks in 3D. I mean, GOD. SHEESH. 
• 
  The show was moving very quickly. I think it wasn't even 8:30 when they got to the Leads? I was starting to wonder how the heck this was supposed to last another 2 and a half hours, but I knew them Emmy Producers had their magical ways of stretching things out. Anyway, they did Lead Actor first. I sat back comfortably, expecting my beloved Alec Baldwin to pick up yet another award. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, was he even there? They didn't really show him, I don't think. I saw Kenneth/Jack more often than Alec Baldwin. Anyway, so they announce the winner and I'm quite confident that the presenters can't read or something because they say "Jim Parsons." Then I see that completely unfunny dude from the completely unfunny The Big Bang Theory walk up and I throw my M&Ms down in disgust. HOW COULD THIS FREAK WIN OVER ALEC BALDWIN? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY? I was pretty much ready to give up at this point. Seriously, that was just awful. If Alec wasn't going to win, I would have been okay with Steve Carrell or Larry David, I might have even been somewhat emotionally stable if Matthew Morrison, but JIM PARSONS? UGHH! I have to move on before I throw my computer at someone.
• 
  Edie Falco isn't funny. She's right. She isn't. Tina Fey, however, is. So why did she not win, again? Ugh. Lea Michele could have even sat okay with me (listening to "Don't Rain on My Parade" right now and this girl could have won for this scene alone. Apparently that's the episode she was nominated for, too). Amy Poehler rocked on Parks and Rec, too. I think Edie Falco is an awesome actress and I liked her on 30 Rock (oh, you) but is Nurse Jackie even a comedy, really? I mean...sheesh.
• 
  Reality is a joke of a category, especially when Intervention isn't nominated, but I was rooting for Top Chef. Also, I really liked those catchy songs Jimmy Fallon was singing at the start of each category. Kim Kardashian wasn't much of a singer. Is it just me or does she look a LOT better in person? In pictures she looks very...odd. But in person she looked great. Maybe it was the makeup or the hair or something. "Reality!"
• 
  Top Chef won. We were all very happy. Although for a ton of the speech were were trying to find Padma, but then we found her and the world was good again. Her hair looked tired. Yes, that is possible.
• 
  Will Arnett and Keri Russell have no chemistry and I'm expecting Running Wilde to fail miserably. It pains me to say that, honest. But I think Mitch Hurwitz struck gold once and won't ever be able to do it again. I'll check it out and hope for the best, but it doesn't look good. 
• 
  I don't care about drama that much because I don't watch any of the shows nominated, but I like Dexter and Breaking Bad and I'm totally okay with Mad Men (Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are my bros) so as long as those won my blood pressure would be stable. I was really happy for Aaron Paul when he won Supporting. He was supposed to be excellent this season and he just seems like a nice guy. He was so happy. I appreciate that. 
• 
  I heard a lot of people say good stuff about Archie Panjabi on The Good Wife but I didn't expect her to win. Her speech was positively dull but I was still happy for her, even though I was rooting for the Mad Men girls. 
• 
  Lead actor, I was rooting for Michael C. Hall (his hair is growing back, yay), Bryan Cranston, and Jon Hamm. I would have been okay with any of them, but I was calling B. Crans. You know what's creepy? Dexter is married to Deb. It always grosses me out to see them together at these shows, holding hands and being all spouse-y. It's hard for me to disassociate TV from real life, okay?! IT'S A PROBLEM. I KNOW. Anyway, Bryan Cranston won. That dude is so humble and he brought his wife and kid. His daughter seemed to be rolling her eyes a lot. I wasn't a fan of her, but I'm not a fan of most teenage girls. Including myself, and YOU. Anyway, Bryan Cranston, shut up about thinking someone else should win, because you deserve it. And since Breaking Bad isn't coming back until next summer or whatever, Michael C. Hall or Jon Hamm can win next year. :)
• 
  Lead actress was a category I didn't care about at all. I just expected Juliana Marguiles to win, but honestly, it made no difference to me. My dad seemed excited for Kyra Sedgwick, but I was apathetic. Kevin Bacon looks eternally youthful, though. And I enjoyed Tina Fey's banter and Matthew Morrison's awkwardness. Kyra gave Tina the award to hold for her and Tina said, "First award I've got to hold all night!" Oh, Tina Fey. Stamatina Fey. That's her name, you know. Stamatina.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon's musical tribute was awesome. I seriously thought he was Elton John at first. I'm an idiot. But he was good! I especially loved his Boyz II Men parody (THE OUTFIT HAHAHA) and OH GOD HIS BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! It was PERFECT. I cracked up and couldn't stop. If he had only done his Neil Young, man, I'd be settled for good. 
• 
  I think Variety came next. Variety! Ricky Gervais presented a number of the awards. He should host the Oscars next year. Heck, he and NPH should just co-host every single awards show or something. He rules. He rambled and gave out non-alcoholic beer. Oh, lawd. And the Bucky Gunts thing was monumental. A dude named Bucky Gunts was nominated for directing the Olympics, and in retrospect, Ricky's serious intone as he said "Bucky Gunts" the first time around was probably the funniest thing of the entire show. "I really hope Bucky Gunts wins, because I didn't even know we could say that on TV." (Get it? Because it sounds really DIRTY?) And then he did win and Ricky cheered. It was perfect. Bucky didn't seem to care. Those Canadians are really laid-back.
• 
  Jimmy later accidentally called one of the female presenters "Bucky Gunts." I think it was Claire Danes? Which is hilarious because I hate Claire Danes. Hugh Dancy! You deserve better! You too, Jason Sudeikis! January Jones sucks. 
• 
  Everyone was cheering for Coco to take it home, but that was never going to happen. Did you notice during the Variety montage they had a ton of Coco clips but only one Jay clip? Telling, telling. Also, Jimmy made a little jab at Co at the beginning of the show. Co did not look amused. But it was hard to tell under the facial hair. You know, it was interesting, the Conan shots were kept to a minimum. I guess NBC sort of wanted to forget he was there.
• 
  The Tonys winning, by the way, was idiotic. Although I liked that guy's clip the most. It was very nice. He had the referee one, right? Anyway. Who actually watches the Tonys? I wanted Bill Maher to win something, darn it. And my dad tried to explain how Wanda Sykes' joke about Obama and watermelons was actually funny and not perpetuating racist stereotypes but I just wasn't following. Sorry, but I don't find her funny. 
• 
  
  
  
  

  

  This is how George Clooney feels about this post

• 
  George Clooney won an award for Humanitarianism. I liked his speech, personally. I think he's a cool bro. But then again, doesn't everyone? I'm sure everyone was ecstatic to be in the company of a TRUE movie star, anyway. George Clooney is always fun to watch at awards shows. His deadpan facial expressions at the Oscars this year were my favorite thing.
• 
  Mini-series and Movies is the most boring category. I wanted You Don't Know Jack to win everything. It didn't, except Al Pacino won for acting. Temple Grandin cleaned up. Was it really that good? I don't know. And what was Claire Danes nominated for before? Not My So-Called Life, I hope? I think she was my least favorite thing about that show. Actually, I think everything was my least favorite thing on that show. But I even liked her less than Jared Leto. 
• 
  The real Temple Grandin was there, waving and talking a lot, and my sister kept telling her to shut up, which was mean. I must admit, though, she was getting a little irritating. Not really her fault; I think the whole category was just getting to me.
• 
  Oh, and Julie Ormand or whatever her name is who won Supporting was very, very funny. I can't remember anything she said, but I remember finding her hysterical. It was refreshing.
• 
  Over at my friend's blog she called the In Memoriam segment "the dead montage" which I find hilarious. During the commercials they showed a preview of the segment (because I guess seeing dead people whom most of us don't even remember is something we all look forward to) and Corey Haim seriously looked like Fred Savage. We had a good laugh over that. Wait til Fred Savage hears that everyone thought he was dead! Seriously, apparently we weren't the only ones to think Corey Haim looked liked Fred Savage. But once I realized it was Corey I was sad. Also, could they seriously not get anyone more relevant than JEWEL?
• 
  Jimmy Fallon calling Tom Selleck his "real father" was strange. Tom Selleck: "...Okay." Ahaha. But, um, it was strange that Drama was announced before comedy. I guess they wanted to have the teenagers stick around for as long as possible, eh? So Mad Men won and life went on as normal.
• 
  Modern Family kicked 30 Rock off its pedestal, which made me sad, but at least it wasn't Glee. I think Modern Family had the most consistently-good season out of all of the nominees, so I was okay with it. Every episode I saw was good fun.
• Oh, and John Hodgman as the commentator is something I always look forward to.
 

Holy crud, my arm hurts. These Emmys need to be shorter. This year's was good fun (I KEEP SAYING THAT! EW!) and all, but I don't know. Awards shows aren't what they used to be. Jimmy Fallon was good but the Twitter thing was irritating and it just dragged at the end. Awards season is kind of over now. I'll miss you!