Remember That SNL Post From A Week Ago?

Yeah, well, I hadn't seen this yet: ZACH GALIFIANAKIS HOSTING. Zach G. is my rock. He is my sovereign. He is my bearded guidance. He is my EVERYTHING.

Well, not really. But I think he's hilarious, and that's more than I can say for most people. Seriously, Between Two Ferns is required viewing for readers of this blog. I knew he was hosting but then I forgot because, well, it's Saturday Night Live and it sucks.

But today I came home with a migraine so I decided, what the heck, let's watch something on Hulu. Originally I was going to watch Gabba Gabba Rey!, who hosted last Saturday, but then I saw a beard with Zach G.'s eyes above it, staring at me, and I had to watch.

HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THEM!

OHEMGEEEEE DYING HERE. Bullet points!

• "It's great to be back hosting Saturday Night Live..."
• "Putting on chapstick daintily"
• "Homeless professor;" "Vice President of Ultimate Frisbee;" "Alpaca message boards"
• "I live in Brooklyn...and I hate it." I guess a lot of hipsters are in the audience.
• "Excuse me, I've been in Canada...opening up for Miles Davis. Kilometers Davis."
• "I like dark comedies; that's why I like the Wayans Bros." I cracked up at that one. That is just bad. Love it.
• "I went to my high school reunion awhile ago, and it was very weird because I was home schooled...and why I rented that limousine, I have no idea."
• "That is so Raven." He uses that joke a lot, but it's still funny.
• He doesn't really have a blog :(
• "Hoobastank is here!" Hoobastank. Haven't heard that name in awhile. Not since the last Singstar party. Oh, Singstar.

Digital short, so of course it's awesome. I think if Zach Galifianakis crashed the set of some show that I was watching, I'd freak out due to fear and amazement. Dude, if Zach G. crashed The Tyra Show or something horrible like that, I would love it. I would die. And then Tyra would bring me back to life so she can hold onto each and every viewer she has with those disgusting Tyra-fingers of hers and then I would die again.

Zach G. AND Vampire Weekend?! Seriously, why did I not watch this live? Contra stuff isn't that good live but the band is too adorable for it to be a big deal. I love Ezra's new hair, and did he grow five inches? Because he is usually not that tall. And Rostam has this weird way of dragging his feet while he plays guitar that I can totally relate to because I can't dance/stand up like a normal person, either. During the bridge, Ezra was watching him with the intent of a love-stricken bachelor. He, too, was enamored by his band mate's oddness. Oh, and I picked their "Cousins" performance over "Giving Up the Gun" because "Cousins" is a way stinking better song. I could go on and on and on and on about this but I'll stop geeking out now and move on.

PAUL RUDD TOO? And Frank Rich, whose presence/existence I find hysterical because he has the same name as my dad except backwards?! WHAT IS THIS? WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? This sketch was not particularly funny other than Paul Rudd's being there and Kenan calling Frank Rich "sexy and sinister" and his "wut" face afterwards, but that "What's Up With That" song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Zach's outfit was great and I liked Jason Sudeikis', too. And his dancing! We dance similarly, except his dancing is actually SOMEWHAT DECENT. Yeah, I'm feeling self-conscious about my dancing today. Isn't that random?

Whatever, here's "Giving Up the Gun." I have to post it for Rostam's Michael Jackson faces. He looks like Michael Jackson! And why did Chris Tom change his shirt? ...Can I have his old one? Oh, and Chris Baio's footwork is cool. Am I the only one who sees a slight resemblance between Ezra and Devon Werkheiser?

Oh, dear.

Well, that was awesome. I think I feel a little better now. Thank you, Zach Galifianakis. You may look like Marijuana Santa Claus, but to me, you're...well, yeah, I don't know, I guess you're just Marijuana Santa Claus.

Go watch Between Two Ferns now while I watch the Gabba Gabba Rey! episode. Bye.

In Which I Get An Obligatory Post Out of the Way So I Can Post .Gifs of Conan O'Brien Dancing

This is Malcolm Gladwell.

As you can see, he's one classy bro. Unfortunately, when I read Outliers for school this summer, I came back in the fall to find myself as one of the only people who felt that way. The name "Malcolm Gladwell" is largely met with a sneer now, even by people who aren't between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, I find, and it saddens me, because how could anyone hate this guy, even dislike him? (He's like Paul Rudd or something! Everyone loves Paul Rudd!)

Despite its age (because 2005 is so old), this review makes me like him even more. I guess I'll summarize it for you, if you're really that lazy. Basically, Gladwell reviews the book Everything Bad is Good For You: How Today's Pop Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter, which is about how today's pop culture is actually making us smarter. Sorry, was that obvious?

Anyway, sarcasm aside, the book discusses how today's popular culture is much more complex than it used to be, which causes us to think more and become much more active participants in what we're watching (or playing; he cites video games as examples, too) than we used to be. This is something I've been saying for years. Critics of the television and video games are only seeing one side of the picture, only taking things at face value. I find that many of them have only sat through a show or a game long enough to be able to develop a thesis statement and be able to denounce it without sounding uninformed.  But they are uninformed, because the things that make these shows, movies, games, whatever, so great are the things that you actually have to think about: the allusions, the references, the metaphors. Why do they think there are so many sites like Television Without Pity or The AV Club, both of which have hundreds of thousands of views? Yes, for every TWOP you have an IMDB, which has way too many whiny preteens complaining about the dearth of shirtless pictures of Devon Werkheiser there are out there, but the TWOPs and the AV Clubs prove that there is a thoughtful, intelligent audience out there willing to be sucked into the television. These people prove that it can't be all bad.

This is one of my favorite parts:

Most of the people who denounce video games, he says, haven’t actually played them—at least, not recently. Twenty years ago, games like Tetris or Pac-Man were simple exercises in motor coördination and pattern recognition. Today’s games belong to another realm. Johnson points out that one of the “walk-throughs” for “Grand Theft Auto III”...is fifty-three thousand words long, about the length of his book. The contemporary video game involves a fully realized imaginary world, dense with detail and levels of complexity...This is why many of us find modern video games baffling: we’re not used to being in a situation where we have to figure out what to do. We think we only have to learn how to press the buttons faster. But these games withhold critical information from the player. Players have to explore and sort through hypotheses in order to make sense of the game’s environment, which is why a modern video game can take forty hours to complete. Far from being engines of instant gratification, as they are often described, video games are actually, Johnson writes, “all about delayed gratification—sometimes so long delayed that you wonder if the gratification is ever going to show.”

Exactly. As I said before, for every Ico and Final Fantasy IV you have at least two dozen mindless first-person shooters, but even those are more complex than your parents' Pong. Ico is one of the most frustrating games that I've ever played, but it's all worth it because I take away so much - it's like a well-made film, complete with a great story, beautiful art, and an immerse world. Gladwell and the author (Steven Johnson) are exactly right - video games today involve a large amount of critical thinking and are often incredibly complicated. But that's what makes them great.

I said before that I am not so keen on the idea of calling this a "pop culture" blog, but after reading this review, I feel less ashamed of the term. If we can learn to ignore Kim Kardashian and Two and a Half-Men then maybe we can start to realize popular culture's true merits.

Now here is a picture of Conan O'Brien (and Andrew W.K.) dancing:

You're welcome.

Now Featuring Danish Subtitles!

Oh, hello there. I didn't see you come in. ...I thought I had locked the door...how did you get in, anyway?

Well, no matter.

This morning I chose to start my day by re-reading Sacha Baron Cohen's Wikipedia page. I did not plan to do this. It just happened. However, I believe that it was fate that brought Mr. Baron Cohen's Wiki page and I together, for reading it for the third time led me on a journey -- a journey through the world of YouTube. Sort of.

According to Wikipedia,  Baron Cohen is involved (somehow) with a movie called Dinner for Schmucks. Yes, the title is stupid. But you haven't seen the poster!

"Steve Carell?" I said. And then I looked to the right. I gasped: "Paul Rudd?!" Immediately I had to know everything about this movie. I mean, come on. Steve Carell. And Paul Rudd. In a film. Together. With (as I found out from Wikipedia) Jemaine Clement and ZACH GALIFIANAKIS. It's like the writers sought out to please me specifically. Too bad Jason Bateman's not in it. (Also, I'm just going to pretend that Jeff Dunham doesn't exist.)

I then headed to YouTube to witness this Dream Team in action.



Yeah, so, it is kind of stupid. I hate the premise, and I hate all of the destruction that goes on. It makes me cringe. I'm going to give the film the benefit of the doubt, though, because I just have to. I'm physically incapable of being apathetic about or even disinterested in this movie!

Trailer Rating: 3 Steve Carell's in Glasses out of 5.

After watching that trailer, I found myself compelled to watch more. "Curse you, YouTube," I hissed as I clicked on the trailer for The Kids are All Right, "for making everything so accessible!" (YouTube, if you're reading this, please don't be offended; I love you, I do.)

The Kids are All Right is a movie that I've been hearing lots of good buzz about for a long time. (Okay, maybe not that long. Only since Sundance, less than three months ago. I'm a kid; life moves fast when you spend your whole day reading Wikipedia articles!)  Even though I had been instructed by many a magazine to look it up, I never really did. But today, I pleased many film critics across the country by watching the trailer.



The first things I noticed were "Cousins" by Vampire Weekend playing and JOSH HUTCHERSON. Josh Hutcherson! You know, Josh Hutcherson. He's sort of like my generation's Steve Zahn; he's been in a ton of movies, but you never really remember who he is when you see him. You just know that you know him.

But this time, I remembered him. Geez, he grew up. He actually looks his age now! Things kind of rolled on like a bumpy Katamari after that. I got this feeling that the movie is better than the trailer wanted to let on. I mean, on the one hand, you have the story about the kids of lesbians trying to find their sperm donor/father. That's an unconventional twist on the popular Lifetime trope "MOM SHUT UP I WANNA FIND MY FATHER BECAUSE I'M AN ANGSTY TEENAGER WAAH." And then, on the other hand, you have one of said lesbians making out with said sperm donor/father. Erm.  Yeah.

Oh, and Mia Wasikowska is like an irritating little mixture of Gwenyth Paltrow and Claire Danes.

Anyway, this trailer gets 2.5 Child Actors out of 5.

Then I stumbled upon The Greatest, starring, amongst others, Carey Mulligan and Aaron Johnson as Brits Who Are Trying Really Hard To Sound Like Americans and Failing. Luckily for them, I like them. I like everyone in this movie: Pierce Brosnan, Susan Sarandon, Johnny Simmons; what's not to like? (Although I must admit that I'm more scared of Susan Sarandon than fond. I blame that movie Step-Mom.)



I love the song. I think it was written specifically for the film. If that's true, then I'm calling mutiny on the Academy if it's not nominated next year! (Knowing how much the Academy likes to irritate me, I'm also calling now that it won't be.)

This was my favorite trailer so far. It was sappy, it was annoying at times, but it actually inspired some sort of response from me. Well, a response other than confusion or disgust. It made me want to go see it, badly. Very badly. And that's the best thing a trailer can do, isn't it?

5 Unbelievably Accent-Less Actors out of 5!

The first time I watched the next trailer, for Take Me Home, I thought, "Wow. This is stupid." But after watching it again...maybe it was Sufjan Stevens' "Come On, Feel the Illinoise!" but I liked it. A lot.



I think I hated it the first time because I wasn't sure if Amber and Sam Jaeger were siblings or not. I was convinced that they were brother and sister, and incest is only cool if it's the kind on Arrested Development (and that wasn't even real incest, so). But then I watched it again. And then I found out they were married, which is completely different than being siblings. And then I came to love how inventive the plot was - a guy (lonely, I suppose, or just poor) decides to become a fake cab driver - all the benefits of being a real cab driver without the certification and the annoying hours! The "romantic comedy" part invokes images of Matthew McConaughey and/or Sandra Bullock, but not all romantic comedies are drivel. I don't know if this one has a release date any more specific than "2010," but I'll be keeping my eyes on it. (Which means I won't be keeping my eyes on it at all until, by a stroke of luck, I find out about it again.)

4 Unknown Talents out of 5 is what this gets from me.

The last trailer I watched was the funniest -- and not at all intentionally. Observe, Love at First Hiccup:



Just let that soak in. Let it invade your pleasure centers. Let your body erupt with unrestrained feelings of pity and amusement.

For the uninitiated: The star of this film is Devon Werkheiser. Devon Werkheiser was the star of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide on Nickelodeon. Devon Werkheiser still has all of his baby teeth.

And now, Devon Werkheiser will have his "first time" in a film that is an R-rated remake of a Danish family film.

Yes.

There is so much stupidity in this trailer that it hurts. The cheesy music, Corey Feldman's illegitmate potty-mouth son, the awkwardness, the jerkface boyfriend, the slow-motion, the gay joke, the OH GOD JUST EVERYTHING. My gut exploded at least four times in the two minutes and seven seconds that this trailer lasted, and then it exploded AGAIN.

The best part about everything is that DEVON WERKHEISER STILL LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE NED BIGBY. NED BIGBY STARS IN THIS FILM. Please, try to understand how HILARIOUS this is to me.

This movie was supposed to come out last year. Obviously, it didn't. Will it ever come out? Part of me really, really hopes so, but for the public's sake, let's hope it stays on the shelf of its little Danish director for the rest of her (or, um, his?) life. Or at least just send it straight-to-DVD. Does anyone over the age of eight (or under the age of 35) even watch anything that goes straight-to-DVD? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I think this movie is supposed to be funny -- it's hard to tell. The thing is, though, it's not funny when it's trying to be, or for the reasons it tries to be. It's funny because it's so...not good. Maybe this film isn't particularly not good, like Battlefield Earth or Manos: The Hands of Fire, but I'd put it in the realm of Twilight.

I give this trailer one Danish-subtitled Mess out of five.

Does your head hurt yet? Good. So does mine. I'm going to have the surprisingly decent singing voice of Devon Werkheiser lull me to sleep. You should, too.