Monday, July 19, 2010

Shakin' My Weight Like Yeah

I'm a lazy hobo-in-training so today I asked my bro "Checkahs" (not his real name, thank goodness) to write me a guest blog. Here it is, in its EDITED and AWESOME form. If anyone else wants to write a guest blog, JUST ASK. I'm always lazy and I like mocking your horrible writing JAY KAY Y'ALL

I recently found out about a new fitness program around a new device called a Shake Weight, which has too many parodies to count. The exercises have clear sexual innuendos and seem unnecessary, but that’s not the worse part.



On vacation I found that they made a Shake Weight for Men; you need to see the workouts for those as well. With everyone just grunting and sweating like crazy, you have to realize what they actually are doing: holding something that is shaking. Does anyone even care what dynamic inertia is besides physics peeps….no. The guys in the commercial just make weird open-mouthed gestures and then end with a final grunt. could get a toner body without looking so gay (sorry gay people, it’s not your fault).

Anywho… I’m pretty sure the only buyers of these products are the female counterparts who think their partners need a boost. For me, I would rather use that board where the users just shout at you, it's really empowering, or that P90X workout (they have yoga :D)



Don’t get me started on the women’s Shake Weight. The commercial is basically the same without the buff dudes, expressing the awesome power of dynamic inertia!! You can make anything look dynamic with italics. They just say that it’s so hard for women to find exercises for their arms, it’s called a freakin’ dumbbell curl, idiot. The commercial also seems like the users are pedestrians on the street, how does that conversation play out? Excuse me, can you please place this weight in your hand and let it shake for a minute?

It could be good training for a seizure victim or capturing a spazzy dog, but that’s all it has running for it. NO ONE should buy this product.

P.S. You should look at the parodies [of the ads] on your own time; they have rather suggestive material. See them here and here.

P.P.S Stay golden pony-boy(z).

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