It's the Most/Least Wonderful Time of the Year, May Sweeps (NBC STYLE)

Thursday night was the season finales of both Office and my new favorite Parks and Rec. 

Office was unsurprisingly underwhelming although some of the guest stars amused me, namely James Spader (and I guess Will Arnett, just because I love him unconditonally). James Spader was actually quite fantastic as the unnerving, disturbingly persuasive managerial candidate. I don't know if his character would work full-time but, darnit, would I love to see them try.

Another point of interest or two or four in an other lackluster and annoying inconclusive finale: Ryan was really on fire. His delivery of "Oh, no, Stanley, you'll live forever" killed me, as did the whole gently deriding Jim thing. ("James.") What was the point of Jim Carrey showing up? It was nice to see Gabe finally leave but it was a bit rushed...I actually missed it while I was doing something else. And Toby is looking seriously gaunt. I'm worried about him.

The Office's inconclusive (we still don't know who's boss!) season finale gets 3 obnoxiously hilarious Jim parodies (as performed by Angela) out of 5.

Parks and Recreation has been on fire all season long, even as a midseason replacement. Thankfully it won't be getting that shaft again next season. While I found this week's episodes, sold as a bit of a two-part finale, to be less solid than last week's, I still thoroughly enjoyed them, especially the near-epic "Li'l Sebastian," which was probably as perfect to an ending as anything I've seen from any show this season. It reminded me of the good old days of The Office where there were things at stake, where the end of the season was supposed to bring up new questions as well as answers. Parks and Recreation is relatively low-key and yet its character development is so strong that they drive the plots, they are the ones causing the conflicts instead of some meaningless and manipulative plot. Tom's conflict was especially poignant and at the same time subtle enough, not made to be some big plot point to be sold on. What I love about the show is that it's not something that, like Office, needs to be promoted the heck out of to get our excitement. We come back for the characters.

And just like Ron I will miss Li'l Sebastian. I have however cried several more times than Ron has.

I'm also interested in what the proposition given to Leslie will mean for the show. Perhaps Leslie in the government, maybe as mayor, was the end game all along. It will be interesting to watch. Also excited for: more Ben x Leslie moments, Andy and April as they exit their honeymoon period, and finally meeting the original Tammy! Also I hope they play "5,000 Candles in the Wind" again because that was awesome.

I give the Parks and Rec finale episode(s) 4 and a half torches exploding in Ron's face out of 5.

Work Of Art Finale Review

WORK OF ART #1.10 "The Big Show"

After a very long 10 weeks, Work of Art is finally over. I, and I'm sure the majority of the Internet/America/Universe, was expecting Miles to win all along and so when I sat down I wasn't expecting anything surprising. I assumed the finale would be your typical show where the guy you knew was going to win wins and you're either really happy or breaking your neighbor's car windows. What? Am I the only one who reacts like that?

So here is a recap of what happened last night in my living room during the last 5 minutes of the last episode of season 1 of Work of Art: The Next Great Artist:

China: Miles, sorry, but even though your art is better than everyone single other person's on this show, and even though I shouldn't have the authority to say this to anyone - I mean, c'mon, look at me, I can't even properly dress myself! - YOU DIDN'T WIN. HAHA. NOW GTFO.
Miles: .__.
Me and My Sister: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MILES GODDARNIT WHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS WRONG


Miles, I personally believe, was technically the most skilled. He was also the most fun to watch, the most polarizing, the one who EVERYONE had an opinion about, positive or negative. When we reminisce about this show in a few years or whatever, we will all talk about Miles. So for him not to win was a complete shock. Especially since they sent him out first!

Thankfully, our most knowledgeable or at least most critical judge Jerry Saltz has an explanation for us:

“When did Miles lose?” ...His show was all-but perfectly realized, and looked like something I might review in a respectable Lower East Side gallery. Here came the rub. Miles’ work was so up-to-date that it looked dated. This way his art lost its edge, turned in on itself; it went from being over-hung to just being overkill. As highly accomplished as his work was, it was a bit too much in a highly conceptualized, self-reflexive, intensely theorized, and familiar quasi-visual idiom. Miles had lost by winning. He got so close to a good idea of art, that the art he got close to wasn’t entirely his own. I began to understand that this had been happening all along. Indeed, it had been there in his first digital black-and-white portrait of Nao. I think Miles should move to New York and be poor and stay up late with thousands of other young artists. Then, in five years, he could be an artist to reckon with. That he lost this reality TV show will one day actually help him.

Let us hope that is true. Miles might have been a bit pretentious, a bit of a hipster, but he was overall a very good artist (if not great), and that's the most important thing. His art is very conceptual and not very emotional; that portrait of Nao, the one he did of the "homeless shelter," those were the only ones I can remember making anyone really feel anything. But he's good, darnit. I think he'll be okay.

Before we move on to who won, let me just talk about the home visits. They helped to make this episode a lot more memorable, very human, sweet; this episode could very well be my favorite. We got to see Peregrine, Abdi, and Miles in their home environments; we got to see where "the magic happens," who they are when they're in a more comfortable, less stressful and manufactured space. While I have personally been hating on Peregrine ever since that first team challenge, it was hard not to like her as she introduced our Favorite Eternally Gleeful Swiss Man Simon de Pury to her husband (a "Jazz musician and horn sculptor"). When he was playing that horn that was wrapped around her, it was not only awkward but also...okay, mostly it was awkward. But at least I didn't hate her anymore?

Peregrine's favorite part of her show was a big portrait of these two taxidermied unborn twin deer. They were precious. However, they seemed like an out-of-place "sideshow" when it came to the rest of her Carnival theme. She had cotton candy, tons of pink and orange casts of little boys' heads, ponies, etc. It was a bit too much, in my opinion. It really was all over the place. While there were some really good pieces in it (the deer and the guest judge David LaChapelle really liked her cast of a boy's head under glass), I agree with Bill: it would be better had it been edited down. It was too unruly.

Miles' house was very nice. I liked it. You know what's good about the Midwest, other than their funny accents? You can get nice homes on the cheap-ish. Miles' had a nice home that I assume was on the cheap-ish. (I feel like now is an appropriate time for me to, as always, plug the AV Club's review, which has tons of funny quips about Miles' and Abdi's home visits.) We got to see the place in which Miles' works, AKA the ga-raage. They kept pronouncing it weirdly. I liked Miles' concept a lot, but when I first saw it I was a bit skeptical about how it was turning out. His abstractions were INCREDIBLY abstract that, when I saw them in the garage, it was hard to see them the way he wanted me to.

However, his story of trying to make sense of the footage that he took of a homeless man who died a few days after the photos were taken was definitely interesting and better represented by his gallery show. The actual surveillance photos were included, which was a nice touch of realism amongst tons of Photoshopped images that had no recognizable human features in them. You could see Miles was really proud of what he did, and he should be. Even though I understand why he lost...I still can't BELIEVE it. While everyone on the Internet seems to think that Peregrine's show was the best, I really disagree. Miles' was the most coherent, even if it was the least visually compelling.

Oh, and Miles' parents had a nice house too. [/random]

Finally, we went to Abdi's house, where Abdi introduced Simon to his very nice mom that we all heard a lot about on the show. While Simon and Mrs. Abdi's Mom talked, Abdi made lots of his classic facial expressions. Someone needs to make me some .gifs of Abdi's face, because that boy has one BIG mouth that needs to be documented for all eternity. After Simon and Abdi's Mama were done blathering, Abdi brought Simon into his "cruddy" basement. I tell you, these editors became a lot better at making drama as time went on. The way this part was edited made it seem like Abdi was doing this completely horrible job - his ideas were good but his execution was awful and it was unlikely that these pieces would get better. Simon looked bewildered, confused, and I was sort of confused, too. I didn't think Abdi's pieces looked bad, but they tend not to look as good as they do in person on camera.

It was nice to see how friendly these guys were with each other. Usually in these kinds of shows, one of the final three is a "villain," or at least not liked by the other two. So it's good that Abdi, Miles, and Pere were such good friends. It was one of the things that contributed to making this episode so nice and calm. Really, it was not as climactic and intense as you'd think, except for the parts where Abdi rushes to put together his unfinished sculptures of the basketball players (that's what they were, right?). The two sculptures, when done, were laid on the floor and resembled "The Creation of Adam." That was a nice surprise, to see them turn out looking so well.

So Miles didn't win. I've established this. SO WHO DID? Those final minutes continue:

Jerry: Peregrine, gurl, you rocked it. You was fierce.
Me and My Sister: NO NOT PEREGRINE NO NO
Bill: Abdi, you da man.
Me and My Sister: ... :)
China: ABDI YOU WON YAY
Me and My Sister: NOT EXPECTING THAT BUT YESYESYESYESYESYES! ABDI WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Abdi is probably the single nicest person on television today. He was one of my favorites from the beginning, he and Miles. I thought for the longest time that his place in the Final Three would be inevitable, but as he started to falter I started to worry. So the fact that he came to win the whole thing was grand. A lot of people seem confused, but I see it this way: Abdi GREW the most. When he was good, he was REALLY good. When he was bad, he learned from those mistakes to turn it around. He was very inconsistent, but we must remember that he is also the youngest. I highly doubt there are real, successful artists out there who hit a home run every single time. Abdi was the most REAL out of the final three for this reason. He didn't play the game, creating a character (Miles) and he wasn't fake and irritating and obsessed with his quirkiness (Peregrine). In a medium that encourages you to be someone you're not, Abdi was wholly himself. And c'mon, he's just SUCH A NICE GUY. He deserved to win on that alone.

Even my mom, who had never seen an episode of the show before, was happy that Abdi won. Goes to show.

So congratulations Abdi, and I'll make sure to go see your show at the Brooklyn Museum whenever it is.

Yay, Abdi! :D

Read my reviews for Episode 4 and Episode 8.

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #2

Me cosplaying as Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now. LOLOLOL (That's not funny, is it?)

It seems like every time I want to write these things, I'm watching something on MTV. This time, it's True Life: I Hate My Face. Ladies, don't worry, you're not alone; I hate your faces too!

So, that aside:

• MTV Movie Awards: I saw them yesterday, and then again today (not by choice the second time!) They weren't that good, at all. Predictably, Twilight swept everything. Pretty lame. Trying to think of funny moments right now and failing really hard. Oh, actually, no, Aziz Ansari was surprisingly funny; I liked his Human Giant skit and the one with Zach Galifianakis. He was teaching Zachy G. how to have "swagga." It was as funny as it sounds. The opening with Les Grossman (from the stinking 2-year-old Tropic Thunder, I mean, come on guys, he's funny, but why are you bringing him back now? So random) was pretty funny. Michael Cera bookends. Yep.
• Apocalypse Now: Just saw the end today. It was a pretty excellent movie, aside from the fact that I had no clue what was going on half the time. But that's what happens when you watch it over a period of a week. You know. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR!" Why is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" such a popular line? Really. But I did love that character, even though he really wasn't that important in the long run. And --spoiler-- who ever thought that Lance would be the only one in Martin Sheen's party left? NOT I STEVE CARELL
• The Hard Times of RJ Berger hatred: Okay. So. You should probably know me well enough to know that I kind of HATE a lot of things. Sometimes I just make assumptions. Usually, though, my assumptions are OVER 9000% CORRECT. This is one of those times. RJ Berger is some little demon that reared its ugly little head in some MTV/Viacom office saying "PUT ME ON TELEVISION OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND MAYBE ALL OF YOUR SHETLAND PONIES TOO." We all know how much Viacom employees love their complimentary Viacom Corp. Shetland ponies, so they, begrudgingly, obeyed Mr. Berger's commands and gave him his horrible show. Okay, so, back to the assumption thing: I kind of haven't seen the whole show yet. But really, if you saw the commercials, you'd know - it's not necessary for me to see it to know that it sucks. I MEAN. COME ON. RJ is supposed to be 15 and HE LOOKS CORY MONTEITH-AGED. Man, it's just not okay. After it premiered on Sunday, I checked the Internetz and saw that most people above the age of 14 called it crud. I also found out that it was a lot more...um...yeah, just read this: http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-hard-times-of-rj-berger-pilot,41841/
• Old video game commercials: Okay, these aren't that old, but remember now: I'm young and stuff. There's the Kirby! Nightmare in Dreamland one that has that song that everyone who was worth my time (oh snizz oh snizz) knew all the words to back in, like, fourth grade; then there's the Super Smash Bros. one from all the way back in the 90s. That one's one of the GREATEST. EVER. It's even greater than my cat. And my cat is pretty darn great. (ETA: Upon further consideration, I have decided that my cat is still greater than this commercial.) Oh! Then there's the Pokemon Red and Blue commercial. Guess who's in it? DRAKE BELL. Gasp! Giggle! Squee! Here's another one that's actually really depressing for a commercial trying to sell you two really expensive kids' games. Man, Nintendo had the best commercials back in the day. Now? Meh.
• E3 excitement: OH MY GOD IT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY GAIZ. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO excited. I think this year's going to be AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF LIKE TOTALLY FERRLZ. I probably shouldn't hype it so much BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAN! Last year it was really early, and I had Study Hall 9th period so I left school early to go watch the press conferences. Now it's during my Finals week, so I come home even EARLIER! :D ...but then I have to study. But PSH THAT CAN WAIT. Plus, on the last day I don't have any tests. I might have to be resuscitated, guys. Be on hand.
• Glee season finale: This season was insanely long. Insanely. Scarily, even. The thing is, it wasn't really any longer than the average season, number of episodes-wise. It just lasted the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. It was crazed. This episode had a lot of problems; it felt completely like a different show. Refer to this annoyingly positive but still pretty on-the-nose review: http://www.avclub.com/articles/journey,41944/ Here's the single-greatest moment from not just the episode, but also probably the season (next to Kurt's "Rose's Turn" and that sweet moment with him and his dad and Finn); it's Jonathan Groff singing "Bohemian Rhapsody!" 

Thirteen (Or, I Review Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock)

So I didn't post reviews on Friday like I said I would consider doing. Sorry.

I was going to review the season finales of Community, Parks and Recreation, The Office, and 30 Rock (AKA NBC's entire Thursday night line-up) but then I barely paid attention to Community and I just got lazy.

I'll just sum up my opinions on the other three for you, anyway, while I rock out to B.o.B (Nothin' on YOOOOOU, baybeh).

Parks and Recreation: #2.24 "Freddy Spaghetti"

I wouldn't really consider myself a Parks and Rec fan, nor did I watch every episode this season, but every episode that I did see I enjoyed. Season 2 was a major step up from that crudtastic season 1 that I hated so so so so so so so much.

This episode was especially good. I did a lot of "awwing" Thursday night because of this and 30 Rock, which I'll get to. (And from what I heard, I probably would have been grinning madly at Community too). There were lots of sweeeeet moments between Wamy ("Amy" to you people out of the loop that really only includes me but okay) Poehler, aka Leslie Knope, and Ben, who was played by the guy from that show I've never seen on Starz, Party Down. Ben was Rob Lowe's (oh yeah, he was guest-starring, too) partner, and they came to Pawnee to authorize budget cuts or something. Ben started off as the main antagonist, but eventually became pretty close to Leslie, empathizing with her ambitious political dreams. The episode is kind of based around Leslie trying to set up a fundraiser to build a new park, and the main attraction was supposed to be the titular Freddy Spaghetti, a name that I always feel idiotic for typing; however, when Freddy nearly bails out for some other gig, it's Ben who gets him to come back to play Leslie's fundraiser. Yes, it was as adorable as it sounds. (As was the last scene with Leslie and that guy, um, Mark, who left the Parks and Rec department. In the end, nearly everyone lost their job to buget cuts, I think. It was sad.)

The B-plot of the episode was centered around the love triangle between Andy, Ann, and April, who is probably too young tot be dating Andy, but that doesn't stop her from trying. We see a new side of April - she's not completely apathetic! But she is an insanely jealous person. This was a continuation from the previous week's episode, when April is suspicious of Ann and Andy and then turns Andy down or something. In this episode, Andy and April almost get together until Ann ruins it. She's lonely, you see. That's all I'm going to say.

This episode was a lot more emotional than most episodes of the show and had lots of character development. It really felt like a finale, though; I got shades of "Casino Night," The Office's awesome season 2 finale. But it was still funny, mostly because of Ron (others would include Tom, but I despise Aziz Ansari), so it was a balanced and satisfying conclusion to a very good season. Too bad we're going to have to wait until January for more Parks and Rec.

I'll give it 4 Pregnant Wamy Poehlers out of 5.

The Office: #6.26 "Whistleblower"

I'll be blunt: This episode sucked.

There were some funny moments, mainly because there was a good amount of Andy, and Andy is probably my new favorite character. There was a sweet moment or two, particularly the one at the end with Michael and Kathy Bates playing some chick from Sabre or whatever it's called. But all-in-all, it did not feel conclusive, very little happened, and it was BORING. It felt like a mid-season episode that shows in one of those slow March weeks.

Here's the plot: Sabre printers catch fire. Press finds out from an employee who leaked the info to them. Who is this employee question mark exclamation point.

A writer is supposed to take this boring-sounding plot synopsis and make it funny, engaging. These new Office writers, picked off the streets outside their Ivy League colleges, do not understand how to do that. The actors try their darnedest (Ed Helms, Mindy Kaling, Steve Carell, and even Jenna Fischer especially), but it just fails so much because of the writing. Jim and Pam used to be the two most popular characters, and amongst the most well-written, but, sorry to be a hater, they're absolutely dreadful now. Jim just lazily makes faces to the camera and says something sarcastic every now and then. Pam whines and talks way too much. Thus, the writers have been steadily shifting to the relationship between Andy and Erin, which is still interesting, but very little time is devoted to them.

Most of the time was spent with Michael and Kathy Bates. Michael proudly defends his new parent company against the "allegations" that their stupid printers catch fire, although he does it more because he's excited to be on TV than because he cares about Sabre. Because who really cares about Sabre, anyway? I don't. They brought that creepy tall guy into the office. What's his name, anyway? Wikipedia says Gabe...he is so creepy. Speaking of people we don't care about or like, the best part of the episode was also the most awkward: the IT guy who I had never seen before, Nick, announced that he was leaving. No one cared. There was a funny callback to the old IT guy, the Arabic one that Michael thought was a terrorist. (Where'd he go, anyway?) And then there was a hilariously awkward scene where Nick yells at everyone for treating him like dirt and then leaves to teach in Detroit. Poor guy, hope he doesn't get shot.

So basically all that happened was that we find out that Andy was the "whistleblower," everyone hates him more than usual except for Erin, and then Kathy Bates tells Michael that she'll try to get Holly back. For a finale to have only two minor conclusions like that is really anticlimactic. I wasn't a Holly fan, at all, although I appreciate them at least furthering Michael as a character in terms of his relationships and such. But what is Kathy Bates even going to do about it? What can she do? I don't know. I miss David Wallace.

2 Creepy Sabre Employees Who Always Look Scared out of 5.

30 Rock: #4.22 "I Do Do"

A lot of people thought that this season of 30 Rock was the worst, but I'm a relatively new fan, and I liked this one as much as the last season (although I watched Season 2 over winter break and nothing beats that). This episode, which was a continuation, like Parks and Rec, of the previous week's, was especially good.

Following "Emmanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land," which is an amazing title, Liz tries to find a way out of "settling" with her hilarious British soul mate Wesley Snipes. Yes, like the actor. Wesley is the one who brought us such great phrases like "Gangway for the foot cycle" and "My velocipede!" and we love him for it. Well, "we" meaning everyone but Liz, who can't stand Wesley at all. I think everyone who watches the show wants Liz to be happy, but I would've been fine with her marrying Wesley if that meant that we got to see him again. Alas, that was, of course, not to be.

As Liz begrudgingly attempts to get used to the idea of having Wesley around, Jack tries to work out his own relationship problems - should he choose Nancy or Avery? At the beginning of the episode he's convinced that he wants Nancy. It's understandable, considering Nancy is sort of like the way more Bostonian female Jack, but at the same time, you can tell that this really is a hard decision for Jack. Personally, I HATED Nancy. I couldn't stand her horrible accent. There were lines she said that I normally would have thought were funny had she not been the one saying. I don't really care much for Avery, either, but one of the things Jack wanted the most was an heir, and he wasn't going to be getting that from Nancy. Avery reminded me of Edie Falco's character from season 2, and I actually kind of liked her, and I thought that type of character was good for Jack. And guess who he really chooses in the end? A pregnant Avery. I read somewhere that this might mean next season will be all about Jack complaining about not being able to be a good father because he didn't have one growing up, and I really hope that's not the case.

Matt Damon guest-starred as the pilot that Liz meets at Wesley's office, Carol. Within two minutes of talking to him, Liz discovers that HE is her true soulmate. Carol likes everything that Liz likes and even likes TGS, so he's kind of like Liz's scary fanboy, except awesome. Also, he is a horrible dancer, and I find that endearing. Carol is so perfect for Liz that I could not stop awwing at them. I like the characters on 30 Rock so much that seeing them happy makes ME happy. It's infectious. Unfortunately, when Liz tells Wesley that she and Carol are soul mates and Carol overhears, she nearly ruins it. I felt like Carol's reaction was realistic, but at the same time, he was just kind of like, "Wow, creepy. Bye," and then he specifically said bye to Jack in a way that was supposed to bring us back into Jack's story, but it kind of bothered me. That's a nitpick, but still. However, Carol comes back. Why? What normal person would do that? He says that he thought about it and that he's getting old, too, and...basically, he tells Liz that he's settling for her. It's kind of like Wesley and Liz all over again, with the roles reversed, except that there's a mutual interest there. I think I'm the only person seeing it like this, but Carol specifically says "I'm 39 years old" as if he's saying he has no other options.

Whatever, I love him anyways. I even made this really bad .gif of him dancing!:

I haven't even talked about Kenneth yet! Kenneth had one of the best parts of the episode when he drunkenly gives a speech at Grizz's wedding about how he loves everyone after losing his job. Basically, Jack got Kenneth a promotion -- to LA. Kenneth gets mad. Kenneth acts totally and hilariously un-Kenneth-like to lose the promotion, only to end losing the job. Then he shows up the wedding and gives a heartwarming speech. Yay, Kenneth. The best part of that was that he sounded completely angry the whole time...oh, Kenneth! I love you.

This episode was the most truly conclusive out of the three I saw; it ended Liz and Jack's season-long arcs in a nice way. I'm just worried that Liz and Carol aren't actually going to end up together. That's the nature of the guest star, although Carol's a pilot, so, hey, maybe it can work?

5 Dancing Matt Damons out of 5 :)

Those were like extra-long, out of order summaries with "I love you"s and "Hilarious"es thrown in, but OH WELL. NOW YOU KNOW. I'd recommend you go watch "Freddy Spaghetti" and "I Do Do" on Hulu, as well as Community's finale, "Pascal's Triangle Revisited," which I heard was pretty good. I only saw some of it, and it involved the usage of the term "Tranny Queen," if that will compel you any.

In parting, here's a clip of Kenneth's speech, with bonus Carol and Liz time! And Will Forte as Jenna's creepy boyfriend...or whatever he is...