I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

My love for Pokemon is eternal. It is everlasting. It is white-hot. It is glorious.

I finally got my copy of Pokemon Black yesterday and holy rhombus, that opening is spectacular. Easily the best Pokemon opening ever (objectively, anyway). For a second there I thought I had perhaps been shipped the wrong game...this was sweeping, epic JRPG-quality stuff.

I'm itching to play more of the game right now but I have boat loads of homework. Here's the opening so you can watch it yourself.

My Year in Lists, Part 1: Games and Books and Junk

"My Year in Lists" by Los Campesinos!

So as I said before, despite running this SUPER MEGA SUGOI-NYA blog about entertainment, I'm actually not that culturally relevant. Okay, I'M not culturally ANYTHING, but neither are my interests! Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to write about TV and it's going to be hard picking a numero uno considering the best show I watched this year is 10 years old. But that's what the word "try" exists for! For me to use it! (And fail!)

5 AWESOME GAMES FROM 2010*

*I didn't really play that many new games this year so honestly these are just the games I played. I'm sure that if I had played them, Super Mario Galaxy 2, Mass Effect 2, and whatever other games you liked would be on here. But games are expensive.

Final Fantasy XIII (PS3)

Okay! I know you hate this game! Everyone does! ...Except me. Final Fantasy XIII might not have lived up to the hype - but that would have been impossible. It may not be one of the better Final Fantasies - I, for one, cannot stand how the shopping system works, and despise how hard it is to make any money. The game is literally linear, as well, but I don't mind some hand-holding. What I do mind is a terrible battle system, and thankfully this game has perfected the FF ATB system and created one that is extremely fun, even addicting, to use. I loved the Paradigm Shift idea as well as staggering your opponent for massive damage. FF13 is a game where you basically run from one monster to the next, so it's great that fighting them is so enjoyable.

P.S. I LIKED HOPE. Sorry. And Lightning is awesome, but everyone knows that. (I also love Sazh. And the music in this game! And, GASP, I like the cut scenes!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World: The Movie: The Game (PS3)

This PSN timed-exclusive provided me with many, many hours of fun multiplayer entertainment. I do think my friends would agree with me that this was the best multiplayer experience of our year (resurgence of Super Smash Bros. Brawl love aside). Is the game better than the movie? In some ways, yes. Look at that character design! Paul Robertson's sprite work was great; it had me longing for some kind of 8-bit Scott animated show. Also, the music in this game, by Anamanaguchi (did I spell that right? I did? YES), is phenomenal. I can hear it in my head right now, actually. That's what playing this game for about 6 hours straight will do to your brain, man. It screws with your mind. 

Super Scribblenauts (DS)

Yes, there was a sequel to Scribblenauts. Yes, it came out this year. Yes, I only just got it for Christmas. But it was AWESOME. AndoneoftheonlygamesIbeatthisyear. While I never got around to playing the original game, it sounds like this sequel took all of the criticisms (can only move with the stylus, too repetitive) and corrected them. The addition of adjectives means that there are so many possibilities in this game that it's impossible to just give it one playthrough. The game is definitely short; I beat it in about 6 hours! But this replayability and just the overall lighthearted tone of the game makes me want to go play it right now. Be right back.

Robot Unicorn Attack (Browser)

Okay! This game is a flash game by Adult Swim! It's pretty stupid! SUE ME BECAUSE I LOVE IT. Yes, this is how pathetic my crop was if this is on my list, but it's actually the most fun I've had with a game all year. Seriously. I played this game for hours straight and never got bored. This also wins my esteemed Fonzie Award for Best Music, with "Always" by Erasure. If you don't have that song stuck in your head within seconds you don't have ears. Or a heart. Why don't you go play the game right now? Take a little break?

Pokemon HeartGold/SoulSilver (DS)

If you didn't see this coming then you don't know me at all. AT ALL. -sob- Pokemon Silver for the GameBoy Color is my favorite game of all-time, so there's no way I could NOT love this game. I think SoulSilver is the reason I didn't really get any games this year; it just took up all of my time. I ended up getting a little bit burned out on it when I started Kanto, but I'm feeling the Pokemon fever again. There are just so many things to do in this game: the Pokeathalon, Gym Leader Rematches, KANTO as I mentioned, the Pokewalker (which I actually haven't used at all), etc. Pokemon is really one of the reasons that I love being a product of the early 90s. I LOVE YOU POKEMON HUGS AND KISSES XOXO

Honorable Mention: Dragon Quest IX (DS), which I just got for Christmas and thus haven't played too much of. I'm loving it so far, though.

Games that I wanted to play but didn't but will, definitely will: Kirby's Epic Yarn (Wii), Trauma Team (Wii) (I got it for Christmas so I'll get around to it!), Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii), Costume Quest (PS3), Red Dead Redemption (PS3), Professor Layton and the Unwound Future (DS)

Games to Look Forward to in 2011!: Catherine (PS3), LittleBigPlanet 2 (PS3) which I am so excited for I can't even describe it, Pokemon Black and White (DS) surely to be my Game of Forever, The Last Story (Wii), Ninokuni (DS and PS3), and most of all the 3DS! which is not a game but a console, a console that will bring me so many games that I want to play that all I'll be able to do is play games all the stinking time.

THE 1 BOOK I READ FROM 2010*

*According to my Goodreads account, I've read 18 books this year. This is 7 less than last year but still a pretty solid number. However, only this book was released this year. Stuck in the past, I tell you! (Oh, although I did read this awful kid's book, Jack Blank and the Imagine Nation, which I got for free. Despite the "love interest" of sorts being named Allegra, it was terrible.)

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen

I guess it wasn't really necessary for me to mention this, but I liked it a lot and Jonathan Franzen (plus Jonathan Safran Foer; more on that later maybe) basically made my year with this and The Corrections. I LOVED The Corrections; it's easily one of my favorite books. Almost immediately after finishing that one I began this one. Freedom touches upon similar themes, which is both good and bad. However, in the end it just did not hold a candle to Franzen's last book. 

Freedom made me physically ill at times, between the "turd excavation" scene and the sheer awfulness of lead female Patty Berglund, but I think for a book to elicit such a strong emotional response from me means that it must be doing something right. I think I would love this book if it weren't for the fact that I now have to write an essay about it. That's proving to be impossible. Oprah's Book Club! Help me! 

Books I read and loved this year that were from last year or earlier: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, which I still think about often; Let the Right One In by John Lindqvist; Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut; A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore even though most people hated it. And I already mentioned The Corrections. Also I totally feel like I read Atonement this year but I guess I didn't but I loved it so read it. Yay.

TOMORROW, on My Year in Lists: The Best TV That I Actually Watched This Year, Plus Some Other Stuff! Vague, I know! Excitement! 

New York Comic-Con/Anime Festival 2010

I went to Comic-Con/NYAF this past weekend. It was pretty awesome. Yay!

I saw the standard cosplayers; there were so many Lightning's and Yukiko's and Ramona's of different shapes/colors/sizes, it was pretty nuts. But I actually liked a lot of the costumes I saw; it's awesome how much effort some of these people put in, and how much confidence they had, wearing skimpy outfits and posing for picture after picture. I know I took pictures!

I also got to see the first ever New York screening of The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya on Friday. I was really excited for that, but man, the other people in the room were obnoxious as HECK. They laughed at every little thing, even if it wasn't all that funny; they applauded everything, too. It was insane. I mean, I loved being around a whole room full of people who I knew loved the same anime that I did, but they were so irritating. This girl we sat next to laughed so loudly and annoyingly, and this guy we sat behind waved to the voice actors who hosted the panel and I think he was dressed up as an InuYasha character or something and it was horrible. Towards the end of the movie -SPOILER ALERT- Kyon (main character) got stabbed out of the blue and everyone started laughing and clapping. How is that funny or applause-worthy whatsoever? They were taking me out of it, and it nearly ruined it for me. I still really enjoyed the movie but I hope I can see it in the comfort of my own home soon.

I wanted to go to the Square Enix panel, also, but it was full. Other things I wanted to do: play the games! Nintendo's booth had Kirby's Epic Yarn, Donkey Kong Country, Wii Party, and some other games that I really wanted to try but I never got the chance. I watched some guys play Kirby for awhile and it looked so gorgeous and cute, though. I really want it! Now.

I did get to play a little bit of Okamiden, but I had no clue what was going on. It did look really cute, though. I got a poster, a little mask-type thing, and some Chibiterasu silly bands from the Capcom area, which was nice. I wanted to play Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and get a poster, but that game was one of the most popular there, and I think you could only get a poster from one of the signings, which I didn't go to. Oh well.

SPEAKING OF SIGNINGS, I am a sucker for being in the presence of celebrities, so you can imagine how happy I was to MEET THREE (KIND OF MINOR BUT OH WELL) CELEBRITIES! :D I met Patrick Cassels, who works for Collegehumor.com, and got his autograph and a picture with him; he was so nice! Then I got a picture with and an autograph from Judah Friedlander (Frank on 30 Rock), which was pretty awesome, too. He told me to "stay sexy." Hilarious. And the best one of all was meeting Scott Adsit (!!!!! Pete on 30 Rock) who was on his way to the Delocated panel despite not really having anything to do with it! I got his autograph and told him that I loved 30 Rock and Moral Orel and once I mentioned the latter his eyes just lit up and he looked at me and said, "Thank you! I really appreciate that!" And then he asked me if I had seen Delocated and I said that I hadn't but I wanted to and he told me to check it out. AND I DID. And it was okay. It had Todd Barry in it which was great because I love Todd Barry. I also love Scott Adsit!! I wish I'd gotten a picture with him, but at least I'll always have the memory.

Even though I'm the cheapest person around I forced myself to buy stuff: tons and tons of pins, a Scott Pilgrim sticker, and a Scott Pilgrim t-shirt. The Oni Press booth had a ton of cool Scott stuff, and I wanted to get the wristbands but they said "July 2010" on them and were from SDCC, so I decided against it. Also, my wrists are too big for wristbands, anyway. ;_; At least I got the shirt! And a sticker! And I wanted to buy a book from there, Hopeless Savages, but it was $20 and I decided against it. They had a nice booth though. Pretty cool times. Oh, and the pins I got included a Pokeball, a Harvest Moon pin, a Spirited Away pin, a TON of adorable Inception pins, and super cute Wallace and Kim pins. I wanted to get Scott but he was sold out. You know, the only Scott thing I got that actually HAD Scott on it was the sticker. Too bad.

On Saturday night we decided to take a cab to the train station, and we managed to get a stretch limo. It was amazing. We went with these two random people we met; one of them was wearing a green suit. They were also amazing. We paid $30 for 8 people to take a stretch limo from the Javits Center to Grand Central. It was -- guess! -- amazing.

So that was my Comic-Con experience. It was tons of fun. I want to go next year. Can next year be tomorrow? Please? I hope I can meet Scott Adsit again and take a picture with him this time! But any celebrity will do. Please celebrities! Come find me and give me your autographs!

And take your money! (Or, the Most Random Post Yet.)

The Swell Season covers Neutral Milk Hotel

I saw this on the AV Club this morning while searching for something to write. This cover is truly excellent, although the addition of "King of Carrot Flowers, Pts. 2 and 3" is a little...awkward. Mainly because that song alone is a little awkward. But whatever, that doesn't last that long! (P.S. I like "Two-Headed Boy, Pt. 2" better so you should go hear that song sometime, although Pt. 1 rules too.)

That aside - did I find something to write about? Sort of: Weezer revealed their new album cover. It's a picture of whatever Garcia's ugly face. People were joking when they heard that it was called Hurley that the cover would be a picture of Hurley from Lost's face, and unfortunately, it turns out that they did that exactly. So, for the third album in a row, the cover is AWFUL and seemingly a cruel joke. It's time I learned to stop caring about Weezer. The last time they made an album I actually liked was when I was 3 years old. I know that's cliche to say, that you don't like Weezer post-Pinkerton, but really, it's true. I find songs I like on all of their albums, but that doesn't mean I think they're comparable. (Hey, I can fit a shameless plug to an old post in right here!)


The Clientele covers M.I.A.

Here's another cover I like. Everyone knows "Paper Planes," yes? That song was probably my favorite thing about Slumdog Millionaire, which, in case you were wondering, is not nearly as good as everyone said it was. When it came out my parents both saw it somehow and insisted that my sister and I go see it because it was SO GOOD OHEMGEE. So then we saw it with our mom a few days after Christmas. I didn't like it that much, really. It's not bad or anything, just not as spectacular as everyone says. But what do I know? I saw it a day after The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and even though most people I know seem to think that movie sucks, I think I might have liked it more than Slumdog. And I mean, I don't even ever want to see it again, ever. So.

Speaking of things I don't like very much, I don't like very much that I lost that Charizard card of mine. You know, the really expensive one? It's just...gone. It makes me upset.

On an actually relevant parting note (since I need to go bury my head in shame now), here's a fanciful, helpful Pokemon "guide" that I found on Kotaku (CLICK FOR BIGGER):

Good day.

Let's End of the Month Super Cool Post Go!

 (Click the images if you can't read them.)

Links and picture as promised:

• Work of Art Reviews: #1.4 and #1.8 
• Guest Posts: By Max and by "Checkahs"
• Pokemon Posts: On movies and on trainers
• Inception Review: A mini-review
• "Baby" Rant: I was NOT like "baby, baby, baby, ooh!"
• Last night's Futurama: A clip from it anyway

My cat who is better than all the cats of all the times:

(Sorry the quality is poor; my Webcam takes bad pictures. Which reminds me, who wants to make a video blog with me next month? :D)

P.S. "People I do like" = family notwithstanding. Obviously, I saw them plenty. My sister who likes to comment on my blog can confirm that this is true. HEY SISTER LET'S PLAY PERSONA 4 TODAY

Fantastic Tales From Virginia!

Today we have another guest blog. YES! Less work for me to do! This post by my broski (well, cousin, actually, but okay) Max is pretty much perfect, so please enjoy it. Also, the language is more "adult" than we normally have here, because I'm an innocent little girl who likes to say "stinking" more than any equivalent, but unlike Beyonce, I think you can handle it. P.S. That Team Rocket song is one of the greatest, EVER. I would know.

Hello. I am the actual writer of this blog’s cousin. Here’s a shameless plug to my YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheVivvav

Go there. The latest video has me wearing a hat covered in palm trees swaying back and forth to music from Mother 3. And a panda mask I made back in 8^th grade. And a pigeon from Hell. It has to be seen to be believed.

And now for the actual guest blog.

My family moved shortly after the summer started. As I am now waiting to go to college (the current count is 31 days until I leave for it), I have nothing to do. We moved too late to sign up for any summer programs or to find a job. Because of this, I have been sitting my room, playing video games, watching movies, and watching anime. And by anime I mean One Piece, which I greatly enjoy.

I have also been thinking about things. Like Pokémon. It occurs to me that Kanghaskan is the only creature in the world that you can punch in the baby.

But I have been doing some things. When I’m not sitting in my apartment eating food or watching movies, I leave the apartment to pay 10 dollars for food and 12 dollars for movies. Or recently, to get a new driver’s license.

See, my family just moved from Pennsylvania to Virginia. That means we have to get rid of our old Pennsylvania driver’s licenses and get new Virginia licenses instead. So a couple weeks ago, my mother and I went to the DMV. To put it shortly, it was one of the stupidest days of my life. To put it longly (it’s a word if I say it’s a word, damn it), read the next two paragraphs.

We start by getting into my mom’s new car. The only thing I like about this car is the air conditioning. I hate everything else about the car, but mostly the navigational system. The navigational system seems to hold the belief that Grovedale Drive, the street on which the DMV is located, does not exist. And this is a brand new car. So we call my dad from the garage and have him Google Map us some directions. About halfway through writing down the complex directions, Dad goes, “Yeah, this is stupid and convoluted. Here’s the deal. Go here, here, and here, then there, and you’re good.” So we wrote down his directions instead of Google’s, because Google is more interested in joking that you should kayak over 2,000 miles across the Pacific Ocean to get to Hawaii (try getting directions to Honolulu from the continental USA on there) than actually coding an efficient navigational program.

Anyway, even with directions, Mom screws up. When driving, she missed the right turn onto Grovedale Drive. Then we make a U-turn, and she misses the LEFT turn onto Grovedale Drive. Third time proves to be the charm, and we continue forward. This is where it gets ridiculous. We get to the address, and see a building that looks exactly like the DMV back in Pennsylvania. Not even kidding. If you could clone buildings, and cloned the DMV building I took my driver’s license test at, that building would be the freakish non-genetic genetic copy. There are signs all over saying that the DMV is in the back, so we walk around the building a couple times and can’t find it. As far as I can tell, the only back entrance is a shabby white door that looks like it’s used for taking out garbage. We finally go inside and ask, and it turns out that the DMV is in the back of the parking lot, in a separate building hidden behind a grove of trees, that looks more like a bank from the outside. Anyway, we go in, wait in line for 10 minutes with a crying child behind us. Thankfully, the child was pacified after 2 minutes by a Baby Bottle Pop (I did not know they still made those, but I do recall them being the shit when I was 9 years old). But then we get to the front desk, and it turns out the computer systems are down, so we can’t get our new licenses anyway. The government successfully wasted our time.

A few days later, my dad and I try instead. We go the DMV in the morning, and there is a line out the door in 90+ degree weather (32+ if you believe in the limey hoodoo that is Celsius), so we get directions to a brand new DMV that allegedly has no people in it. We go there, and it turns out, it actually has no people in it. But then, AND HERE COMES THE WACKY PART, that DMV’s computer system is ALSO down! Dear Government: WHAT THE FUCK.

It’s been a couple weeks since, and today my mom and I went to the DMV again. The second we walked in the door, I asked the security guard, “Are the computers working?” He said “Yes”. There was much rejoicing between my mother and I. Two and a half hours later, we leave the DMV, and Mom has her new license. I repeat: Mom has her new license. Not me, just my mom. Turns out, Virginia, being the backwater inbred south and whatnot, does not trust teenage drivers, as several years ago a buttload of them caused driving accidents. You have to be NINETEEN UNGODLY YEARS OLD TO RECEIVE A DRIVER’S LICENSE IN THE STATE OF VIRGINIA. Never mind the fact that I AM ALREADY A LICENSED DRIVER. You think that’d be enough, but apparently, I now have to present proof that I had Driver’s Ed. And by that, I mean I have to have proof that I received 4 driving lessons from a dude named Jerry over the course of 5 months, because that’s all the driving education I needed because I don’t dick around while in control of a 2-ton hunk of metal going 40 miles an hour.

To end this on a happy note, I brought my DS to keep me busy during the wait at the DMV, and caught both an Arbok and a Weezing in the Safari Zone. Let’s celebrate this with the Team Rocket song, which, should you choose to listen to it, will be stuck in your head for the read of the day.

Oh shit, son. We gonna catch us a motherfuckin’ Pikachu.

So many combinations, so many combinations!

I am so tired. I guess that's my punishment for playing Pokemon SoulSilver non-stop. Yesterday I played it until 1 AM, and today I played it from the time I woke up until about 15 minutes ago. Even though my eyes are screaming "Why did you make us stare at countless Geodudes and Gravelers for three hours straight? WHY?" I don't regret it. I did a heckuva lot of training. I beat Clair! Yay me! Now I'm on the Kimono Girls, who are evil despite them all having adorable Eeveelutions. Let's bully them like all the popular kids bullied us in middle school! YOU KIMONO GIRLS ARE SOOO WEIRD!

Anyway, so, I'm really tired. Did I say that already? Apparently I did. Today I don't really have anything to talk about, except another Pokemon-related topic: the player characters! The player characters went from being awesome to being dull, ugly, and non-threatening. They're so hard to believe as POKEMON MASTERS BOLD ITALICS!!! and they're also just really uninteresting.

Seriously. Look at the designs for Red and Leaf from FireRed and LeafGreen:

SO. AWESOME. Look at Red. Look at his face. That is the face of a trainer who has no reservations about brutally murdering a level 6 Rattatta by making his Level 50 Charizard use Flamethrower. This is the trainer who loves his Pokemon and no one else's - and that's GOOD. People, hating everyone else's Pokemon doesn't make you evil! It makes you smart. The whole point is to win, and if you're too busy chatting with Picknicker Liz about how cute her Weepinbell is (which, by the way, you would never do because 1. Liz is a brat and 2. Weepinbell is ugly as sin) then you will LOSE. So good on you, Red. And Leaf! Her outfit is just awesome. It's practical and it's fashionable. The hat is a wonderful stylistic choice because it can get really darn sunny out there in Kanto. Good on you, Leaf. Good on you.

Those designs are probably the two best, technically. They're certainly the best PAIR of characters. But to me, the single best player character is Gold (AKA "Ethan") from Gold and Silver.

"Bro, we don't mess. WE. DON'T. MESS."

 This is the new design of Ethan. But when he was Gold, in the original game, man. He was a true player. He was GLARING, guys. He wouldn't take a "No" from anyone. He did what he needed to do and he beat Lance in one go. Gold even beat RED. Obviously, Gold is the one true Pokemon Master. No one else beat Red, did they? (Other than Lyra/Ethan, who basically IS Gold, anyway. I love his design, too. I almost played SoulSilver as a boy because you can just tell that Ethan doesn't play around. But Lyra is cool, too, despite her gigantic hat. Her hair is actually SHAPED LIKE THAT HAT, too. So weird.) 

Also: Gold is just stronger mentally than Red, too. After Red became the Pokemon Master, he got all excited - "Yeah! I beat the Elite Four! I'm so excited to play the post-game now! Maybe I can go to the Orange Islands!" But no. In Red and Blue, there is no post-game. It's incredibly depressing for someone playing the game, but, well, Red has to LIVE IT. After he defeats Lance, he has no purpose in life anymore. Thus, he retreats to Mt. Silver where he fights Geodudes and Sneasels until he has killed every single one of them. He then takes to the top of the mountain where he becomes so emaciated that he and his Level 80 Pikachu, Charizard, etc. can no longer talk or even grunt. But then Gold comes along, super-excited after beating 16 gym leaders in a row AND beating the Elite Four twice (TWICE!) and he happens along this shell of a man, Red. Then they battle. Guess what? Gold wins, easily. He jumps around excitedly, saying, "HECK YEAH! I WON, SON! I'M GOLD, MOFO!" And then he leaves. And he goes and hangs out with all of those cougar fangirls he has (well, no one's perfect) and life goes on. He doesn't have a mental breakdown like Red. That's because Gold eats mental breakdowns for supper.

 

(By the way, there was also Kris, from Crystal, who is really awesome. There she is on the right. Say "Hi, Kris!" Unfortunately she was replaced with Lyra, but Lyra's grown on me.) 

Ahem. Now, after Gold and Silver, things started to get a little...well, weird. I think we're all familiar with May; she's the whiny chick in the crazy tight booty shorts. Has that little brother, Max, who we should all just forget even existed? Yeah. Her male counterpart is Brendan. Brendan has the single strangest design out of any trainer. He has this weird hat with white on top, and for years I thought that was his hair. It's NOT. How is that hair-looking thing not his hair?! Where did he get an ugly hat like that? And in Emerald, his outfit just sucks. He wears shorts over long pants. Yes, that's practical, Brendan! Now if you're hot, you can take your...shorts off? Oh, you. So strange.

 "Yeah, we be trainin'. We be trainin' in our booty shorts and poor color choicez."

Then finally we have Dawn and Lucas, another fashionably (and mentally) deficient pair. Dawn is actually okay. Her skirt is insanely short, yes, and she is definite and obvious pedo-bait. No 10 year old should be wearing a skirt that short! Don't listen to what those freaks on 4Chan say, okay? But Lucas...Lucas has no excuse. Lucas has a scarf and a beret. I can't believe any boy that wears a beret could be the Pokemon Master. Lucas is such a wuss, guys! He's a wuss. I beat him SO easily in Pearl. Whenever he showed up to battle me, I was like, "Hey, 'sup, Lucas? Que pasa?" And he would say, "Oh, why, HULLO there, Allegra! How are you, dahling?" And then we sat for tea and after we were done we would battle. Although this didn't happen often. But playing as Lucas must be lame, too. I can't take anyone seriously named Lucas. I'm sorry. I just can't.

"They see what we wearin'; they hatin'." OF COURSE WE ARE.

The new Pokemon trainers, however, are awesome. The boy especially! The girl is more Dawn-style pedo-bait, but she's older, so it's okay! Girls can be sluts as long as they're of age is what I always say! :D Just another reason to hype up Black and White like crazy.

The Very Best That No One (Other Pokemon Movie) Ever Was

Pokemon 4Ever was on today. Man, that movie...it doesn't hold up. It just doesn't. Celebi's awesome and all, but he's sort of dull. As is the movie!

It got me thinking about the other Pokemon movies. LET'S RANK THEM BECAUSE I'M TIRED AND WANT TO GET OFF THE COMPUTER:

I haven't seen any of the movies after Destiny Deoxys, because, well, I hate the Advanced Generation series and everything that comes after it. So I'll only do a Top 7, if that's alright with you lot. If it's not, well, there's the close button. Upper-right hand corner. (Actually, I think I did see that Lucario movie. I hated it. Let's just not talk about it, though. It's easier. Less painful.)

 

7. 2000

This one is inexplicably popular. Really! It is. I remember how excited I was to see it in theaters when it came out. I might have seen it on the very first day, even. But I was disappointed. Even as a 6 year old kid, I was disappointed, because the movie just wasn't very interesting to me. It wasn't exciting. I did love that introduced Lugia and some other Johto Pokemon to us before those games ever came out (NOVEMBER 2000 BABY BEST MONTH OF MY LIFE), though, but other than that it just isn't memorable. A lot of people love this movie, and I think it might have even been the best-reviewed out of the series, which isn't saying much because all of them are hated by critics. But, well, since when have I ever been "a lot of people?"

 6. 4Ever

Yeah, as I said earlier...this movie just doesn't do it for me. IT'S SO BORING. Although it does have that amazing-albeit-predictable plot twist where that kid Sam with the stupid hair is really Professor Oak. How old is Professor Oak, anyway?! He's ancient. Possibly more than two centuries old, even. Oh, and one more thing - we rented this movie on DVD back in the day, and it had an audio commentary - which is very cool. But the commentary lasted A TOTAL OF 30 MINUTES. I remember this vividly - they were all talking excitedly about the movie, which sounded really fake, because even I, a huge Pokemon fan, was having trouble getting excited for this movie. But right when it gets to the part where Ash meets Celebi, the stinking STAR OF THE MOVIE, the cast is like, "Oh, well, we don't have anything else to say! Enjoy the movie!" NO. I CHOSE TO LISTEN TO THE COMMENTARY BECAUSE I WANTED TO HEAR MADDIE BLAUSTEIN CONFUSE ME AS TO WHAT GENDER SHE IS. (Yeah, that's right - a woman voiced Meowth. A transgendered woman, but you know, a woman all the same. She's dead now.) It was so disheartening. I think we turned the DVD off.

5. Jirachi Wish Maker

I think I'm being a little unfair to 4Ever. It was dull, but at least I can remember. At least I expressed interest in seeing it more than once. I've seen Jirachi Wish Maker a total of two times. I own the DVD, people, and I watched it once. (Well, actually I watched the DVD itself about 10 times, but that was for the short, Gotta Dance.) It's just...not interesting. It's probably because Max and May are two of the most insufferable anime characters to ever exist, but the movie was bland as that one thing that's really bland that I can't remember right now. The movie isn't that bad, though. I never thought it was so terrible that I had to stop watching. Jirachi is one of my favorite Pokemon (I have two of them, so HA! HA HA!) and there was some really adorable stuff going on. It's just that the movie itself goes on and on and can be quite boring. It also didn't help that I got it in sixth grade, where Pokemon automatically went to being the Game of Forever to being the scarlet letter that called you out for being that kid that everyone makes fun of. Maybe I should try watching it again.

4. Destiny Deoxys 

Here I go, being unfair again! Talk about not being able to remember anything! I can remember the last movie much better than I can remember this one, but what I CAN remember about this movie is that I really, really liked it. I hate Deoxys, I hate Advanced, but this movie was so entertaining that I watched it twice in the span of a weekend. I can't even tell you what it was about, though. I think I need to watch it again.

3. The First Movie

How creative is THAT title? Huh? Huh? Yeah. Well, despite it being one of the worst reviewed movies of the last decade (11 years, but whatever), it's hard not to love this movie. It's pure nostalgia. It's seeing you favorite Pokemon on the big screen. How AWESOME it was to see this movie for the first time. It was promoted like crazy; remember those gold Pokemon "cards" they gave out at Burger King? Yeah, I had several of those. Remember the special cards they gave out when you bought a ticket? I got Dragonite and Pikachu! Those cards are way more special to me than those lame Ancient Mew cards. You can't even use those in the card game, guys. Why people freak out about them, I don't know. But anyway, this movie came out at the height of Pokemon's popularity, and it was amazing. It's not perfect, of course, but who cares? None of the other movies could match how cool it was to see this movie in theaters.

2. Heroes 

While the first movie to come out in theaters was hyped like crazy, this, the last movie to be shown in theaters in America, was a box office bomb. It made less than a million dollars and was released in less than 200 theaters. I was lucky enough to see it with my gal pals (BAHAHA). I think we were amongst the only people in the entire theater. That was when I started to realize that people didn't love Pokemon the way they used to. We were all growing up (I was in fifth grade when this movie came out, and first grade when the first movie came out) and we started to become self-conscious. Pokemon wasn't cool like it used to be. It's too bad for those people who were too obsessed with being mature and "cool" to watch this movie, because it was amazing. We all walked out of that theater crying and saying that was the best Pokemon movie we'd seen. It really is a great movie. Latios and Latias are two of the most popular characters because of this movie. I own this one on DVD, too (thanks Blaire :D) and I really should watch it again. It has the best setting out of any of the movies - it was inspired by Venice. It's really nice. It just has this whimsical air to it.

1. 3

This movie was released at the height of my personal Pokemon obsession. I had Silver, and I played it ALL THE TIME. It's still my favorite game ever, by the way. I was in love with Johto, and while the Johto season of the anime doesn't hold a candle to the original series (Pre-Orange Islands, that is; Orange Islands is definitely one of the worst), I was crazily obsessed with that, too. So then this movie comes out, and of course I love it. Of course I want to see it again, and again, and again. This movie has, in my opinion, one of the coolest plots of any of the movies. It's insanely memorable - I had DREAMS of this movie. It's even quotable. Who doesn't remember how those cool video phones sound? (Yeah, it was a callback to the series, but still. It sounded way cooler in the movie.) Entei was one of the coolest legendary Pokemon yet, and also one of the most disturbing. He could talk, guys! And in this movie, everyone got to have their own Pokemon battles instead of attention whore Ash getting to show off his trainer skills all the time. Ash, your best friends are GYM LEADERS. You can't honestly think you're cooler than them. And, fittingly, Misty's battle against Entei's hostage Molly was probably the coolest. Pokemon 3 was just the right movie at the right time for me. Maybe it's all nostalgia, but, well, oh well. I think I'll always love this movie even so. (Oh, and P.S. this movie had the single BEST short. Pichu Bros. for the win!)

BONUS: Mewtwo Returns

This is the only true direct-to-video release in the Pokemon series. It was horrible. I had to sit through this thing twice and I think I fell asleep both times. The only cool part about it was the cut footage from the first movie that they used as a selling point - "The Untold Story of Mewtwo." It elaborated on Mewtwo's decidedly way-too-awesome-for-American-audiences back story. It was cool, but it wasn't anywhere near as exciting as I'd hoped. After that the movie is just painful to watch. If this was on my countdown, it'd definitely be in last place. Seriously. NEVER WATCH THIS, EVER.

So, thank you for reading my long and very Pokemon-y rant. If you think I'm insane, you're right. If you think my list is incorrect, however, YOU'RE INCORRECT. NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT. *slams door dramatically* But please check back tomorrow. Please!

Sticking To That Creepy Guy's Guns

Last week when I was at the library (the very same library from which I borrowed A Gate to the Stairs and Brick, along with Bonnie and Clyde and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; hope I get around to watching those before they're due) I used the schwanky computer lab to look up books. In front of me was this very large, old guy with a gigantic tattoo on his leg. Guess what he was doing? He was researching guns. Handguns, pistols, rifles. Not only was he looking for pictures and information about them, he was also looking at places to buy them from. Needless to say, I was thoroughly creeped out.

If you're wondering what that preface has to do with anything, well, truth is, it doesn't. I just have virtually nothing to say. Life is  pretty dull around these parts. I did manage to convince my cat to sleep on my bed, though. It's adorable. HE'S SO WARM AND ADORABLE OH EM GEE.

The most noteworthy thing I've done so far is think a lot about Digimon. This happens periodically. That's what you get when you stay indoors your whole life! Someone started a thread on NeoGAF about that horrible game that I hated on the PS1, Digimon World. I rented that game once from Blockbuster and it was just so confusing. Also, we didn't have a PS1 memory card so we always had to start all stinking' over. I hated that. If you read the thread you'll hear them griping about how their Agumons digivolved into Poomon. That was because the game was idiotic and you couldn't digivolve into the Digimon you were SUPPOSED to. I mean, who does that? Bandai liked to torture children, apparently. Awful.

Anyway, it got me thinking - man, how awesome would it be if they had a JRPG where you played as Takato and it was basically just the entire plot of Tamers (the 3rd season)? That would be an EXCELLENT game. Tamers was one of the best anime that I've ever seen (I've come to consider the different seasons like different series; same with Pokemon, but let's not talk about that right now). I need to get it on DVD. Too bad it's so darn expensive because it was only released in limited edition sets.

This is going slightly off-topic, but it always makes me sad when people say, "LOL HEY REMEMBER WHEN WE LIKED DIGIMON?! YEAH THAT SHOW WAS AWESOME LAWL WELL WHATEVAH BACK TO JERSEY SHORE." Why can't you -still- like Digimon? I mean, you're not actively watching it anymore, but still. It hasn't changed. It also bothers me when people say the opposite and are like, "UGH YOU LIKE DIGIMON? THAT SHOW WAS FER LOSERS MAN WTF GROW UP BRB BUYING KEGGER FOR RAGING KEG PARTY ANOCHE BRUH." Maybe I'm just a misanthrope (okay, not "maybe") and maybe I just don't want to grow up, but Digimon and Pokemon and even stinking Sailor Moon are better than the majority of the things people my age like to do in their spare time.

I like to say that we spend the majority of our lives as adults, so why should we grow up NOW? And why do we have to devolve (IMO) from liking completely fine, normal things like Mario Party 4 to driving around to some coffee shop while blasting whatever awful music they're playing on Z100, then stopping by LuAnn Herschfeld's "awesome" party where no one can even hear each other over the underage drunkards playing Beer Pong and the girls grinding and the music blaring? This is slightly more descriptive than necessary, isn't it?

I understand that people change, but maybe I don't want to accept that. Maybe I don't want to move on from liking to rant about how bad Digimon World was on the PS1 and maybe I don't want to stop hyping the latest Pokemon games. But the alternatives aren't any better, anyway. Perhaps there isn't anything even wrong with liking to talk about Pokemon and Digimon. Maybe I shouldn't feel so stupid and "immature" for talking about Pokemon and Digimon OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN in these last gigantic paragraphs.

Why do we have to grow up? And why does growing up have to mean THIS? That may be an extreme case, but then again, is it? It's something to think about.

What to expect for tomorrow: me struggling yet again to post something. Or maybe not.

P.S. I was totally about to start ranting about my hatred of Taylor Momsen but I think that's enough for today.

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #3

Right now, there's an adorable baby deer sitting in my backyard. It was there yesterday, too, hiding behind a bush. It's so sad; I think its mother abandoned it. Poor guy. Here's some pictures:

But I guess that's irrelevant. Moving on:

• BACK TO THE STINKIN' FUTURE ON BLU-RAY: Heck. YEAH. The complete trilogy (Part III included, unfortunately) is coming out in glorious HD this October. The box set will include extras that people actually want to watch, i.e. ERIC STOLTZ AS MARTY FOOTAGE. Excuse me while I locate my time machine. See you four months from now. 
• New Pokemon Black and White Info: New trailer means more inaccurate guesses and complaints from the fanbase. I like that. Some stuff we know for sure: 3-on-3 battles (o bby o bby), new ugly-as-sin Pokemon (oy gevalt), that the boy trainer's design is adorable and awesome (woot), and a Japanese release date (September 18th, sons). Stuff that only Satoru Iwata and his gigantic bags of money sewn with 10,000 yen notes know: what the "shooter" option means (can we shoot Pokemon trainers now? Because there are times when I've really felt compelled to shoot a brother in his smug face during the game), if HMs will still take up a move slot (they probably will), and if there will be comments in-game that reference the awkwardly mature design of the female player character (I'm dying to know).
• Steve Carell is leaving The Office: It's super-confirmed now. The thing is, the way he's making it sound is that the show will probably continue without him. I need to check my "Stupidest Things Ever" book; just a moment...yep, this one's definitely in there. Seriously. The crud is that? "I think it's just a dynamic change to the show, which could be a good thing, actually. Add some new life and some new energy...I see it as a positive in general for the show," says Steve the Psycho. His publicists are probably feeding him these lines, because there is no way any sane person can believe that. The Office is (or was) specifically about the shenanigans that went on in an office as spearheaded by their wacky ringleader, the Boss. If the Boss leaves, what do we have? And to think, I was telling myself that The Office was getting better. Let's move on before this rant gets mondo-sized and I start saying things I'll regret.
• The Boondocks: I've been watching it recently. It's actually pretty hilarious. People seem to think it's pretty racist, but I think it's just satirizing mainstream African-American culture. I've only seen three or four episodes, but last week's, "Pause," is my favorite, and is also a good and really hilarious example of this. Here's a clip because I love you:
    
• Kevin Smith: I randomly decided to start reading about him today. I can't say I like him very much, although I don't think I've actually ever seen any of his films. My one effort to watch Clerks: The Animated Series was thwarted by my disapproving sister. CURSES! I kinda want to see Dogma, and Chasing Amy is supposed to be pretty good. And Jersey Girl, I've learned, is just as terrible as its namesake, New Jersey. I really hate New Jersey! Sorry.
• New seasons of Intervention and Obsessed: They start TONIGHT, guys! On A&E! Starting with Intervention at 9! I'm so excited, I'm shaking in my SCRAM bracelet and "I Heart Ken Seeley" T-shirt. My girl Lindsay Lohan is coming over; we're going to watch it together. I tried to invite Justin B., too, but he's busy prepping for that dang Macy's Fireworks show or whatever. Fine, JB, you do your little show, but when you come scurrying back to me after you've realized all your friends have left you, don't expect me to bake you any cookies. Not that I can, anyway. Oven's broken.

Quick request before I go back to sweating heavily while watching my Intervention/Obsessed marathon: anyone here know Photoshop and want to make this site a cute little banner? My Photoshop skills are awful. Plus, I only have Elements. If you make me a banner I'll add you to my "will bake cookies" list! That's a huge honor, you know. Just leave a comment and let me know.

SCHOOOOOL'S OUT FOREVAH

Not really, unfortunately. But as of today I'm FREE for the summer! YAY. Call me up, Bieber. I know you're not busy.

Since I have nothing to do all summer and have no friends whatsoever (SOMEONE PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT AND PROVE THIS IS FALSE D:), I'm going to be doing lots of blogging, about things like:

• Work of Art, that new art-related reality show on Bravo that is my latest guilty pleasure
• Pokemon, because it rules (and just tons of video games in general)
• Lady Gaga, because she is the complete opposite of Pokemon in that she does not rule, and for a second there I wrote "Pookemon," whoops
• Intervention and Obsessed, two of my favorite shows EVER that are going to be showing new episodes ALL. SUMMER. LONG. THERE IS A GOD AND HIS NAME IS KEN SEELEY
• Hopefully NOT college. No, we will speak about that as little as possible.
• how much I love making lists (expect a lot of them!)
• reviews of movies that I plan on seeing, like INCEPTION! and SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD! and maybe The Last Airbender...if someone PAYS ME. Hee hee, haw haw
• and other random popular culture-y things that may or may not be scarily random or pretentious

Most importantly, though, I will be posting .gifs of people dancing. LIKE THIS ONE:


GIFSoup

I never tire of that. EVER. That's the summer for you/me/US. Now give me a hug! ...Just kidding.

Have you read that Persona 4 comic yet? READ IT READ IT READ IT

Seriously though. Stick around, or I will weakly attempt to cause you physical damage, by such PAINFUL methods as poking and staring menacingly. Oh, yes. SO KEEP READING. 

New Layout

I have a new layout. Obviously. Tell me what you think :)

And so that this post isn't completely irrelevant:

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #2

Me cosplaying as Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now. LOLOLOL (That's not funny, is it?)

It seems like every time I want to write these things, I'm watching something on MTV. This time, it's True Life: I Hate My Face. Ladies, don't worry, you're not alone; I hate your faces too!

So, that aside:

• MTV Movie Awards: I saw them yesterday, and then again today (not by choice the second time!) They weren't that good, at all. Predictably, Twilight swept everything. Pretty lame. Trying to think of funny moments right now and failing really hard. Oh, actually, no, Aziz Ansari was surprisingly funny; I liked his Human Giant skit and the one with Zach Galifianakis. He was teaching Zachy G. how to have "swagga." It was as funny as it sounds. The opening with Les Grossman (from the stinking 2-year-old Tropic Thunder, I mean, come on guys, he's funny, but why are you bringing him back now? So random) was pretty funny. Michael Cera bookends. Yep.
• Apocalypse Now: Just saw the end today. It was a pretty excellent movie, aside from the fact that I had no clue what was going on half the time. But that's what happens when you watch it over a period of a week. You know. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR!" Why is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" such a popular line? Really. But I did love that character, even though he really wasn't that important in the long run. And --spoiler-- who ever thought that Lance would be the only one in Martin Sheen's party left? NOT I STEVE CARELL
• The Hard Times of RJ Berger hatred: Okay. So. You should probably know me well enough to know that I kind of HATE a lot of things. Sometimes I just make assumptions. Usually, though, my assumptions are OVER 9000% CORRECT. This is one of those times. RJ Berger is some little demon that reared its ugly little head in some MTV/Viacom office saying "PUT ME ON TELEVISION OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND MAYBE ALL OF YOUR SHETLAND PONIES TOO." We all know how much Viacom employees love their complimentary Viacom Corp. Shetland ponies, so they, begrudgingly, obeyed Mr. Berger's commands and gave him his horrible show. Okay, so, back to the assumption thing: I kind of haven't seen the whole show yet. But really, if you saw the commercials, you'd know - it's not necessary for me to see it to know that it sucks. I MEAN. COME ON. RJ is supposed to be 15 and HE LOOKS CORY MONTEITH-AGED. Man, it's just not okay. After it premiered on Sunday, I checked the Internetz and saw that most people above the age of 14 called it crud. I also found out that it was a lot more...um...yeah, just read this: http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-hard-times-of-rj-berger-pilot,41841/
• Old video game commercials: Okay, these aren't that old, but remember now: I'm young and stuff. There's the Kirby! Nightmare in Dreamland one that has that song that everyone who was worth my time (oh snizz oh snizz) knew all the words to back in, like, fourth grade; then there's the Super Smash Bros. one from all the way back in the 90s. That one's one of the GREATEST. EVER. It's even greater than my cat. And my cat is pretty darn great. (ETA: Upon further consideration, I have decided that my cat is still greater than this commercial.) Oh! Then there's the Pokemon Red and Blue commercial. Guess who's in it? DRAKE BELL. Gasp! Giggle! Squee! Here's another one that's actually really depressing for a commercial trying to sell you two really expensive kids' games. Man, Nintendo had the best commercials back in the day. Now? Meh.
• E3 excitement: OH MY GOD IT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY GAIZ. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO excited. I think this year's going to be AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF LIKE TOTALLY FERRLZ. I probably shouldn't hype it so much BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAN! Last year it was really early, and I had Study Hall 9th period so I left school early to go watch the press conferences. Now it's during my Finals week, so I come home even EARLIER! :D ...but then I have to study. But PSH THAT CAN WAIT. Plus, on the last day I don't have any tests. I might have to be resuscitated, guys. Be on hand.
• Glee season finale: This season was insanely long. Insanely. Scarily, even. The thing is, it wasn't really any longer than the average season, number of episodes-wise. It just lasted the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. It was crazed. This episode had a lot of problems; it felt completely like a different show. Refer to this annoyingly positive but still pretty on-the-nose review: http://www.avclub.com/articles/journey,41944/ Here's the single-greatest moment from not just the episode, but also probably the season (next to Kurt's "Rose's Turn" and that sweet moment with him and his dad and Finn); it's Jonathan Groff singing "Bohemian Rhapsody!" 

Things That Are Excrutiating

(That is probably not the best title for a blog that you are trying to get people to read, but, um, oh well?)

So. Hi. How are you? Yeah, okay, I don't care that much.

Let's talk about dubs. But first, a preface. I like a lot of things (hence the relative lack of focus in this blog), but two things I really like are video games and anime. YES. VIDEO GAMES AND ANIME. This may seem weird to you, but really, it isn't. I grew up during the height of the "anime with video game tie-ins" craze. People in the 80s had the anime "secretly" selling toys one, and we 90s kids had the anime secretly selling video games, toys, and, um, school buses one.

A lot of fellow video game and anime fans, albeit much more grotesque and irritating ones (yes, there are indeed people more irritating than me!), whine about English dubs. Dubs are, of course, dubbing or translating from one language into another, and since most anime and video games (at least, video games that whiny anime fans play) are Japanese, they have to be dubbed into English. A lot of these fans think that the Japanese or original dub is "lyke sooooo much better desu." Personally, I like a lot of English dubs, or at least tolerate them. But the following examples would probably sound better in their original language.

ANIME THAT SOUND LIKE PEOPLE TRYING TO DIE

One Piece is really popular in Japan. It's one of the top 3 most popular anime, in fact. It never reached that same success here in America.

This is why.

Oh. Oh, dear. That...that isn't good, is it? No. Not at all. One Piece is one of the many anime that is well-liked in its original language by weeaboo masses that was mutilated by 4Kids entertainment. Chances are, if you've ever seen an anime on TV, it was dubbed by 4Kids, and that's exactly why you hate it.

I don't care about the show in the first place, though, so it's dub is more funny to me than anything else. That doesn't mean it's not horrible, though!

Cardcaptor Sakura, on the other hand, is actually a completely awesome manga, and the anime in its original language is also ah-mazin'. However, those darn Canadians decided to turn it into a pile of worthless junk. They called it Cardcaptors. 

You probably have no idea what's going on here. I could try to explain it to you but you'd probably start laughing at me the second I said "ten year old girl," so I won't bother. All you really need to know is that this dub is horrible, but I think you and your bleeding ears get that.

There's even a whole series on YouTube dedicated to bad anime dubs! Here's one example.

Cyborg 009! Bro, I totally watched that show on Toonami back in the day! It wasn't this dub, though; thankfully, they redubbed it to make it more tolerable. But if I was 8 in 1988 and not 2001 and was watching this dub instead, I probably would be in a psych ward by now. Well, maybe not.

OMG BONUS TAIMU DESU! That's what I would say if I looked like this. But I don't, so I'm just going to show you this bonus clip without introduction. (Although it's from that 4Kids dub of One Piece. That's all.)

VIDEO GAMES THAT SOUND SIMILAR TO A VERY ILL MAN'S PUKING

I'm going to get this one out of the way first. I love Final Fantasy X. I love it so, so, so much. I played it for ~20 hours in one week, and I never do that (with any game that doesn't start with "Pokemon," anyway). It is so good that I want to go play it right now!

The one bad thing about it? This scene.

I think I like how the user called Tidus "Baboon" the most about this video. Tidus is kind of an idiot, but I still like him. Um, except for in this horrible little piece of programming. Bleh.

Chaos Wars had no chance. Sure, it actually got some surprisingly decent reviews, but it was yet another faceless tactical RPG in a sea of already extremely niche PS2 TRPGs. Its dub really doesn't help, as it might very well be the worst I've ever heard (apparently it was done by some guy who worked at the publishing company's relatives!).

I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE CAN BE THIS BAD AT VOICE ACTING. And why does Uru sound so stereotypically gay?! "I don't really want yo' twisted love. I really don't." I MEAN, WHAT? Seriously. HORRIBLE.

Oh, wait, did I say Chaos Wars has the worst dub ever? I was wrong. This "game" does.

I could try to tell you why this is so bad, but it would either take me years or I would start frothing at the mouth in mere seconds due to my even speaking the name of this abomination. And this clip isn't even the worst of them! Any idiot who paid money for this adventure in wasting time is a sad, sad person and probably will never touch a video game ever again, which is too bad really.

I mean, technically, this isn't a dub in the same way that FFX and Chaos Wars are, but I think it's worth posting for its sheer mediocrity. Besides, the first time I saw it I thought they were dubbing it from some European language.

I'm sorry that I hurt your ears, but if it's any consolation, mine hurt even more -- I had to find these clips AND watch them all the way through AND I watched other clips in between. If you'll excuse me, there's a nice Vicodin with my name on it. (Not really! But there is a little stuffed Pikachu I can rest my head on. Good night.)

P.S. Please, remember that not all English dubs are bad. As I said before, I actually like a lot of them. But sometimes they really are undeniably horrible.