Ironically, the Super Bowl Got Me Thinking

Thought: Last night, Christina Aguilera, who, if I may comment, and I may because there are no rules here, this isn't Fight Club, although it would be cool if it was, except I wouldn't have lasted this long, I would probably be like Jared Leto's character and Edward Norton would take his anger out on me because Brad Pitt had a crush on me and then I would be disfigured and scary-looking, looked like her face had been stretched out completely, sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. It was terrible. (I heard it playing in the other room and wondered if our neighbors' cat was being murdered or something.) Xtina screwed up some of the words, and that's...yeah. Bad.

Of course, I don't even know the words myself but I assume you're expected to know what you're singing before you go out and sing it? Maybe they just saw Christina and her melting stretchy face in the stands and said, "Oh my god! Christian Aguilera! Even though she's totally irrelevant she's like the most famous singer here! Let's have her sing the Anthem! Maybe people won't be able to tell that it's her and not Lady Gaga, who kind of looks like her! Man, this is genius! I smell a bonus! I think? Or is that a hot dog?" and that's why she sucked so hard.

Personally I'm not offended when people screw up the Anthem. I don't understand why we need to sing it at all our sports games. I guess the majority of the people watching sports are from middle America where you're shot if you don't greet people by yelling, "HECK YEAH, AMERICA!" and smacking them on the butt in a totally non-homosexual way. (Note: I'm a naive, over-generalizing East Coaster. Duh.) Also, why is the "Star-Spangled Banner" the Anthem? I think "America the Beautiful" and even "God Bless America" are better songs, objectively, although I don't think it's a good idea to have a Christian-themed anthem. And why the crud do we need so many patriotic songs, anyway? I get it, really: the USA is pretty spiffy or whatever. I'm not down on it. We have the best cable channels, after all. But I think instead of singing these really boring and stupid America songs before games we should just be given ice cream in red, white, and blue cups. I love ice cream, and so does every other patriotic person; eating ice cream should only reaffirm our patriotism, then. HECK YEAH, ICE CREAM! IN AMERICA!

Thought: After the Super Bowl I screamed at my dad for half an hour, "IS GLEE ON YET? IS GLEE ON YET? HELLO? CAN YOU GET ME SOME ICE CREAM? OH, AND IS GLEE ON YET?" Yes, I scream in CAPITAL LETTERS GRRR. You see, Glee was the post-Super Bowl show this year. Was it The Office last year or two years ago? Because that was the last show that I cared about that aired after the game. I have low expectations for Glee, since it's one of the most infuriatingly overrated things in the history of infuriatingly overrated, a canon that also boasts U2 and Twilight. Last night's episode probably met my expectations: it was boring, the characters were either not there or acting strange (since when has Chord Overstreet a.k.a. "Sam" been so terrible? That broke my cold, dark little heart), but at least the songs were mostly good and it was kind of funny. The best song for me was not the overhyped "Thriller"/"Heads Will Roll" mash-up ("Heads Will Roll" was so underused! But I loved when one of the football players asked who the Yeah Yeah Yeah's are), but the random and unnecessary a capella cover of "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Blaine and his gang of the Gay-Friendly Non-Gays, Featuring Ex-Glee Member Kurt. So good, yet so, so, so pointless.



As he was singing and dancing and being generally enviable and awesome and talented and my future best friend-like, I realized that Blaine is not doing his whole singing and dancing act for the guys. He's doing it, it seems, for the ladies. Blaine is supposed to be gay but I don't get that vibe from him, maybe because his actor Darren Criss is straight and not able to communicate otherwise well. Maybe I'm being stereotypical, but I don't think it's about stereotypes; despite the fact that they're setting up Blaine and Kurt's future relationship they really have no chemistry whatsoever. In fact, maybe Blaine is asexual; he just does not give off the sense that he's ever had romantic interest in anyone, neither female nor male. I don't know if it's the writing or what. He just exists to sing and dance and all of the girls swoon when he does.

I like Blaine a lot but he just is this sexless being. I actually respect that about him, because most people his/my age play up their sexuality in a really obnoxious way, although that's not as true for gay people, I guess. What I don't like is that he's supposed to be some role model for all of the gay boys that watch; they either have Kurt, who is flamboyant and kind of terrible, actually, and just embodies every stereotype ever, or they have Blaine, who must hide his homosexuality really darn well or something despite attending his charming all-boys school, or "Tolerance Narnia," as the AV Club hilariously puts it. I guess I don't have to care this much but if I didn't I wouldn't be me!...

Thought: ...Although that probably wouldn't be a bad thing. (Haha, us teenagers are just so self-deprecating and down on ourselves, it's adorable.)

And I'm like, "Forget you!"

Last night's Glee was surprisingly awesome. Kurt and Blaine being hilarious/not annoyingly catty/adorable/hilarious (bold for emphasis), the musical numbers, G. Paltrow as Holly Holiday, the one-liners...I actually really liked it. Yippee!

Here is the far-and-away best number of the night, "Forget You" (based on the explicitly titled song by Cee-lo).



(Favorite part? "Why? WHY?")

100TH POST YAY!

Hello and welcome to FWSF's 100th Post Spectacular!

...Just kidding. While this is indeed our 100th post, I wouldn't call it spectacular in anyway. It is exciting though! For me! And hopefully for you!

When I had to make this blog for a class assignment back in April I didn't really expect to keep doing it almost 7 months later, but here we are, with over 7,000 page views since late May. I'd say that's pretty good for a blog with virtually no advertising, written by a 16 year old who mostly references things that no one else would understand except her for they are inside jokes she has with herself.

And while most of my comments/followers are my friends, it's nice to see that I've gotten the occasional anonymous comment from someone I presumably don't know. (2 of the 3 were pretty mean but I'll take that as a sign that they think this blog is a lot more substantial than it actually is!)

So instead of doing anything really cool, I'm just going to give you some links to some of my favorite posts on this site.

The first post: Okay, this isn't really one of my "favorite" posts, but where would we be without it? Probably at only 99 posts. And that is a major difference that I never want to think about, ever. (Also, now you heathens can stop asking me about where the title comes from because it's REALLY ANNOYING and I explained it already in this post, geez!)

The second post: I had a lot of fun writing that one. It was entertaining, it didn't feel like a chore as writing posts often does these days, and I even tried to start a running gag with it. I should start making fun of Devon Werkheiser again. I think I kind of replaced him with Justin Bieber. (Also, I think this post is solely responsible for the decent traffic I get from Denmark. Wait 'til those guys find out that I don't know a THING of Danish!)

The Glee rant: Glee and I have a really unhealthy relationship. Use this post as your primer. Also this post is the reason that my blog shows on on Ask.com under "Examples of Satire." Is it self-obsessed to quote your own writing? Good thing I never claimed to be anything otherwise!:

This show just tries to do too much in too short of a time. It tries so hard. It's like that annoying girl in your tenth grade Earth Science class who is like, "Yeah, I do this, this, and this, and I'm awesome, and I'm so good at everything I do, because I do a lot and that makes me awesome and yeah and stuff and um, crud, do we have a test today, because I totally did not study, like, at all" and then they go and they suck at everything they try to do, and you would applaud them for their effort if they weren't so annoying, and then you have to be fake friends with them because you don't want to be mean and then you go and you take to your little blog and you go and you rant like crazy and everyone has no choice but to agree with you because you are so irritated. Yeah. It's exactly like that.

The beginning of many J. Biebz related posts: I had so much fun watching th videos for and just writing this post in general. I love ranting. Justin Bieber is such an easy target, but I don't hate him. Why should I? He's never wronged me. HE ONLY LOVES. Seriously, he's never written a song about anything BUT loving people. Why y'all hatin'? WHY

On that note, the post about "Baby": I think it's important to find yourself amusing. Although not in an obnoxious way. But still, this post is a perfect example of me finding myself amusing.

MADE: I'm starting to sound like a broken record but I had a heck of a good time watching this episode of MADE (twice) and writing about it. This post is insanely mean but I don't really care. I like the title of it. YEAAAAAH!

The Persona 4 comic post: I love that Persona 4 comic, almost as much as the game itself. It really is amazing. So that's why I'm happy that this is one of my most-read posts with 255 page views. (Pretty good for this blog, as I said before!)

Essay about Pinkerton and Yoko: This essay took me like 5 hours to write. It was worth it. It was a big accomplishment for me. I did so much research and everything for it...I'M PROUD OF MYSELF ;_; despite no one reading it.

Guilty pleasure songs: I chair danced so much for this, you don't even want to know. Does chair dancing sound gross/inappropriate? It really isn't! It's just swaying in your chair! That's how I dance.

Just all of July in general: But this post in particular. Y'know, THAT'S what I should have done. Oh well. Maybe I'll ammend a handwritten note onto this later. That post has links to other July posts. It was crazy that I wrote a post every single day that month. Don't think that'll ever be happening again! Fun while it lasted, although I definitely struggled. Most if not all of my top 5 most-read posts were written during this month!

Guest posts: Thanks to everyone who wrote a guest post for me. Two are linked in that last July post, and then here's the one Blaire wrote for me. Still open to having people write guest posts for me!

Emmy Recap: Okay, it wasn't that well-written or anything but it's important to me in that it was a top Google result and it received my first really mean comment. Thank you, Lisa, for thinking my blog is important enough to criticize!

Top Chef Seth post: Dare I say CONTROVERSIAL? Nah. That's pushing it. But I got this EXTREMELY mean comment on it that I didn't even publish because it was really...pathetically mean. So then I added that dumb little note on the bottom. This post had some ill-advised comments in it but I'm a kid, of course I say stupid things! I don't regret it either way. Got me a lot of Google results and page views!


So, that should last you for the entirety of November, I'd think. Don't worry, though, I'll still be posting. Let's try and make it to 1000! Yay.

Thanks to everyone's who's read this blog, I really do appreciate it. Even if it makes little sense half of the time.

100th post, over :D

In Defense of "Running Wilde"

First, update: I will probably be attending the Hitrecord.org Fall Formal!! Yay! Expect pictures, video, amazing-ness, etc. to follow.

Now, last night was a big night in my house, TV-wise. Glee had its season premiere (which I really liked, by the way -- hopefully that means that Glee will be way better this season! SAM "BIG MOUTH" IS ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTERS OKAY) and Running Wilde had its series premiere.

I'd been hearing for a long time that Running Wilde was absolute dreck, so I was expecting the worse. It made me sad to have to do this, since Arrested Development is my favorite show ever and Will Arnett is amazing, but the opinions of others easily influence mine.

Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. Wilde was not nearly as awful as it was cracked up to be. The premise, that Steve Wilde is a rich jerkface trying to get his ex-girlfriend, who is an environmental jerkface, to love him again, is a little stupid and bland. But Will Arnett essentially plays GOB, which is always welcome, and Peter Serawhateverwiz was quite humorous as well. Keri Russell is extremely questionable casting, and I hated her character, but whatever, I'm not watching for her. Puddle's narration was irritating but I liked her and Steve together. I also enjoyed watching her eat leaves. :|

The thing is, people are still putting Running Wilde down. Their reasoning is largely that "it's not AD." Well, of course not! That circumstances that surrounded that show were so perfect, it's nearly impossible to replicate them. It's a different time that we live in now, and I don't know if AD Pt. 2 can ever exist. The closest comparison is Modern Family, but even that is completely different. Running Wilde might have GOB, Tobias, and Mitch Hurwitz, but I think comparisons should end there. It's hard to have to constantly live up to your first and absolute best creation, so we need to give poor Mitch a break. Imagine the pressure.

So I suggest we give Running Wilde a chance. It definitely was NOT perfect, as a lot of the material did fall flat, but it could get better.

I give Running Wilde #1.1 "Pilot" 3 extremely small, extremely expensive ponies out of 5.

Bucky Gunts Presents FWSF's Emmy Recap

Thank you, Mr. Gunts.

So it goes like this: The Oscars are the Patriarch. They are bulletproof. Even when the hosts are bad (like, sadly, this year's were) the show is still amazing because nothing beats its turn-out. The Golden Globes are that smelly uncle from a foreign country that you don't see very often - and don't really want to. But sometimes he brings you some really awesome presents, so you hang out with him a little.

The Emmys are the Oscars' red-headed child. Not step-child, real kid. They try to live up to the Oscars despite their obvious hindrances (red hair/no awesome movies stars, just a lot of cynical TV actors). A lot of the time, they fail. But that's because you don't get to know them. You ignore them. Once you get to know them, once you start to care about them, they're fun. They're worth it.

Last night's Emmys weren't perfect - but they never are. I mean, come on. But they were enjoyable, for the most part. Here are my highlights:

• The opening skit was actually pretty good, despite me being all "EWW GLEE I'M SO TIRED OF YOU GAWRSH" when I saw Lea Michele's confused bangs poke out from the corner of my TV. Jimmy Fallon proved himself to be up to the task. Reuniting him with Tina Fey made me very happy inside. Kate Gosselin, who, by the way, should NEVER EVER be invited to the Emmys EVER AGAIN, was seriously hilarious. And even though I don't really know "Born to Run" they all did an awesome job. I was surprised they didn't make fun of Jorge Garcia more, though. I mean, come on. It's so obvious. And they just ignored little Nina Dobrev, dancing back there. Why was she even there? The Vampire Diaries wasn't nominated for anything, was it? So strange.
• 
  Oh, let me add: I think Jon Hamm rules. Thanks 30 Rock, for teaching me that he has some serious comedy skills! But he seriously is very, very, VERY funny. When he joined the Glee Club (that is so weird to write) I was happy. "DREW AND LIZ TOGETHER A-GAIN!" 
• 
  Since Comedy is the only category I actually watch anything in, I was upset to see it go first. C'mon, guys, you want me to watch for the whole three hours, don't you? But of course, I had to keep watching anyway. The power of bright shiny lights and promises of Ricky Gervais/George Clooney/etc.
• 
  The first award of the night was, weirdly, for Supporting Actor. Seriously guys? You had to go with one of the big categories first? And ACTOR? I would've gone with Actress first, personally, because it's so predictable. Knock the easy ones out first. But I was interested to see who would win this one; I knew it was going to be one of the Modern Family dudes, and I was personally rooting for Ty Burrell. I'm pretty sure Phil is everyone's favorite character. (I'll ask everyone later if this is accurate. I have them locked up downstairs.) But JTF and Eric Stonestreet were deserving too. I love Kurt -- "Rose's Turn" was seriously the best moment of Glee's first season ("If it wasn't for me, then where would you be, Miss Rachel Ber-RRRRRY? *jazz hands*" I'm listening to it now, and never turning it off, thanks), but it wasn't his time. Honestly, will it ever be? I don't know. We'll see. Also, I'm just realizing Jack McBrayer wasn't nominated. That is disgusting and someone will pay. Anyway, Eric Stonestreet won. He made a nice speech. I was happy for him, because he really did deserve it, even if his character isn't my favorite. 
• 
  I knew 30 Rock wasn't going to win any of the big categories, but I really hoped that they'd win a Writing Award, at least! I marathon-ed 30 Rock earlier that day and "Anna Howard Shaw Day" was a hilarious episode. It wasn't the best, and I personally would have nominated "Future Husband" or one of the other Wesley episodes, but it was still great. I haven't see "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter" so I can't comment on its quality. I knew Glee had no chance, but the "Pilot" was an excellent episode, so I'm glad that it was the one nominated. The episode nominated for The Office was one of the few good ones from the season, and Modern Family could basically have any episode nominated and stand a good chance. As it turns out, they won. Yay.
• 
  Oh, right, by the way, I liked the videos they made. The Glee one made me giggle violently. Seriously, I was physically ill by the time I was done. HE SAID HE LOOKED LIKE A SHETLAND PONY. BAHAHA. 
• 
  Stephen Colbert is a perfect human being. His joke was a bit obvious but that man delivers. I bow to you, Stephen. The category he was announcing was Supporting Actress, which was obvious so I just complained about how Jane Lynch was getting way too big now and moved on. But did you see Jane Krakowski after the other Jane won? She looked so sad. Don't worry, Jen. I think you're excellent.
• 
  They showed a ton of weird Community commercials. I couldn't hear them half the time because the people in my house don't understand that the TV is something people like to LISTEN TO. But they didn't seem that funny. It was really strange. But I'm glad NBC is confident in the nomination-less Community. It is a pretty good show. Not amazing, but funny. Troy and Abed are the bomb.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon did this pretty nuts six degrees of separation thing linking Matthew Perry to Lauren Graham (or the other way around, whatever). This would have been a lot cooler to me if I didn't completely despise the both of them. Seriously, I think they're awful. Completely unfunny. I hate Friends and I can't stand Gilmore Girls. Also, that joke that I think Lauren made about Matthew Perry playing "another gay character" wasn't funny, at all. Anyway, they talked about the people who had won for guest roles. It was boring and just made me feel resentful towards Betty White. Sorry, Betty, but I think you're starting to be overexposed. But NPH, keep doing your thing, honey, yo' perfect. LOVE YOU.
• 
  The comedy directing tapes were really, really strange. Why was Ryan Murphy holding Britney (who looked insane at the show, by the way. I was surprised) like she was his prostitute? Highly disturbing. I had expected, even sort of wanted him to win before that, but then I was a little unsure. He might use the Award to entice more young prostitutes. He ended up winning, so someone should keep an eye on him.
• 
  The little Modern Family short was pretty amusing. The Sofia Vergara-in-3D joke was starting to be overkill. I think I'd be more afraid of Christina Hendricks in 3D. I mean, GOD. SHEESH. 
• 
  The show was moving very quickly. I think it wasn't even 8:30 when they got to the Leads? I was starting to wonder how the heck this was supposed to last another 2 and a half hours, but I knew them Emmy Producers had their magical ways of stretching things out. Anyway, they did Lead Actor first. I sat back comfortably, expecting my beloved Alec Baldwin to pick up yet another award. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, was he even there? They didn't really show him, I don't think. I saw Kenneth/Jack more often than Alec Baldwin. Anyway, so they announce the winner and I'm quite confident that the presenters can't read or something because they say "Jim Parsons." Then I see that completely unfunny dude from the completely unfunny The Big Bang Theory walk up and I throw my M&Ms down in disgust. HOW COULD THIS FREAK WIN OVER ALEC BALDWIN? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY? I was pretty much ready to give up at this point. Seriously, that was just awful. If Alec wasn't going to win, I would have been okay with Steve Carrell or Larry David, I might have even been somewhat emotionally stable if Matthew Morrison, but JIM PARSONS? UGHH! I have to move on before I throw my computer at someone.
• 
  Edie Falco isn't funny. She's right. She isn't. Tina Fey, however, is. So why did she not win, again? Ugh. Lea Michele could have even sat okay with me (listening to "Don't Rain on My Parade" right now and this girl could have won for this scene alone. Apparently that's the episode she was nominated for, too). Amy Poehler rocked on Parks and Rec, too. I think Edie Falco is an awesome actress and I liked her on 30 Rock (oh, you) but is Nurse Jackie even a comedy, really? I mean...sheesh.
• 
  Reality is a joke of a category, especially when Intervention isn't nominated, but I was rooting for Top Chef. Also, I really liked those catchy songs Jimmy Fallon was singing at the start of each category. Kim Kardashian wasn't much of a singer. Is it just me or does she look a LOT better in person? In pictures she looks very...odd. But in person she looked great. Maybe it was the makeup or the hair or something. "Reality!"
• 
  Top Chef won. We were all very happy. Although for a ton of the speech were were trying to find Padma, but then we found her and the world was good again. Her hair looked tired. Yes, that is possible.
• 
  Will Arnett and Keri Russell have no chemistry and I'm expecting Running Wilde to fail miserably. It pains me to say that, honest. But I think Mitch Hurwitz struck gold once and won't ever be able to do it again. I'll check it out and hope for the best, but it doesn't look good. 
• 
  I don't care about drama that much because I don't watch any of the shows nominated, but I like Dexter and Breaking Bad and I'm totally okay with Mad Men (Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are my bros) so as long as those won my blood pressure would be stable. I was really happy for Aaron Paul when he won Supporting. He was supposed to be excellent this season and he just seems like a nice guy. He was so happy. I appreciate that. 
• 
  I heard a lot of people say good stuff about Archie Panjabi on The Good Wife but I didn't expect her to win. Her speech was positively dull but I was still happy for her, even though I was rooting for the Mad Men girls. 
• 
  Lead actor, I was rooting for Michael C. Hall (his hair is growing back, yay), Bryan Cranston, and Jon Hamm. I would have been okay with any of them, but I was calling B. Crans. You know what's creepy? Dexter is married to Deb. It always grosses me out to see them together at these shows, holding hands and being all spouse-y. It's hard for me to disassociate TV from real life, okay?! IT'S A PROBLEM. I KNOW. Anyway, Bryan Cranston won. That dude is so humble and he brought his wife and kid. His daughter seemed to be rolling her eyes a lot. I wasn't a fan of her, but I'm not a fan of most teenage girls. Including myself, and YOU. Anyway, Bryan Cranston, shut up about thinking someone else should win, because you deserve it. And since Breaking Bad isn't coming back until next summer or whatever, Michael C. Hall or Jon Hamm can win next year. :)
• 
  Lead actress was a category I didn't care about at all. I just expected Juliana Marguiles to win, but honestly, it made no difference to me. My dad seemed excited for Kyra Sedgwick, but I was apathetic. Kevin Bacon looks eternally youthful, though. And I enjoyed Tina Fey's banter and Matthew Morrison's awkwardness. Kyra gave Tina the award to hold for her and Tina said, "First award I've got to hold all night!" Oh, Tina Fey. Stamatina Fey. That's her name, you know. Stamatina.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon's musical tribute was awesome. I seriously thought he was Elton John at first. I'm an idiot. But he was good! I especially loved his Boyz II Men parody (THE OUTFIT HAHAHA) and OH GOD HIS BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! It was PERFECT. I cracked up and couldn't stop. If he had only done his Neil Young, man, I'd be settled for good. 
• 
  I think Variety came next. Variety! Ricky Gervais presented a number of the awards. He should host the Oscars next year. Heck, he and NPH should just co-host every single awards show or something. He rules. He rambled and gave out non-alcoholic beer. Oh, lawd. And the Bucky Gunts thing was monumental. A dude named Bucky Gunts was nominated for directing the Olympics, and in retrospect, Ricky's serious intone as he said "Bucky Gunts" the first time around was probably the funniest thing of the entire show. "I really hope Bucky Gunts wins, because I didn't even know we could say that on TV." (Get it? Because it sounds really DIRTY?) And then he did win and Ricky cheered. It was perfect. Bucky didn't seem to care. Those Canadians are really laid-back.
• 
  Jimmy later accidentally called one of the female presenters "Bucky Gunts." I think it was Claire Danes? Which is hilarious because I hate Claire Danes. Hugh Dancy! You deserve better! You too, Jason Sudeikis! January Jones sucks. 
• 
  Everyone was cheering for Coco to take it home, but that was never going to happen. Did you notice during the Variety montage they had a ton of Coco clips but only one Jay clip? Telling, telling. Also, Jimmy made a little jab at Co at the beginning of the show. Co did not look amused. But it was hard to tell under the facial hair. You know, it was interesting, the Conan shots were kept to a minimum. I guess NBC sort of wanted to forget he was there.
• 
  The Tonys winning, by the way, was idiotic. Although I liked that guy's clip the most. It was very nice. He had the referee one, right? Anyway. Who actually watches the Tonys? I wanted Bill Maher to win something, darn it. And my dad tried to explain how Wanda Sykes' joke about Obama and watermelons was actually funny and not perpetuating racist stereotypes but I just wasn't following. Sorry, but I don't find her funny. 
• 
  
  
  
  

  

  This is how George Clooney feels about this post

• 
  George Clooney won an award for Humanitarianism. I liked his speech, personally. I think he's a cool bro. But then again, doesn't everyone? I'm sure everyone was ecstatic to be in the company of a TRUE movie star, anyway. George Clooney is always fun to watch at awards shows. His deadpan facial expressions at the Oscars this year were my favorite thing.
• 
  Mini-series and Movies is the most boring category. I wanted You Don't Know Jack to win everything. It didn't, except Al Pacino won for acting. Temple Grandin cleaned up. Was it really that good? I don't know. And what was Claire Danes nominated for before? Not My So-Called Life, I hope? I think she was my least favorite thing about that show. Actually, I think everything was my least favorite thing on that show. But I even liked her less than Jared Leto. 
• 
  The real Temple Grandin was there, waving and talking a lot, and my sister kept telling her to shut up, which was mean. I must admit, though, she was getting a little irritating. Not really her fault; I think the whole category was just getting to me.
• 
  Oh, and Julie Ormand or whatever her name is who won Supporting was very, very funny. I can't remember anything she said, but I remember finding her hysterical. It was refreshing.
• 
  Over at my friend's blog she called the In Memoriam segment "the dead montage" which I find hilarious. During the commercials they showed a preview of the segment (because I guess seeing dead people whom most of us don't even remember is something we all look forward to) and Corey Haim seriously looked like Fred Savage. We had a good laugh over that. Wait til Fred Savage hears that everyone thought he was dead! Seriously, apparently we weren't the only ones to think Corey Haim looked liked Fred Savage. But once I realized it was Corey I was sad. Also, could they seriously not get anyone more relevant than JEWEL?
• 
  Jimmy Fallon calling Tom Selleck his "real father" was strange. Tom Selleck: "...Okay." Ahaha. But, um, it was strange that Drama was announced before comedy. I guess they wanted to have the teenagers stick around for as long as possible, eh? So Mad Men won and life went on as normal.
• 
  Modern Family kicked 30 Rock off its pedestal, which made me sad, but at least it wasn't Glee. I think Modern Family had the most consistently-good season out of all of the nominees, so I was okay with it. Every episode I saw was good fun.
• Oh, and John Hodgman as the commentator is something I always look forward to.
 

Holy crud, my arm hurts. These Emmys need to be shorter. This year's was good fun (I KEEP SAYING THAT! EW!) and all, but I don't know. Awards shows aren't what they used to be. Jimmy Fallon was good but the Twitter thing was irritating and it just dragged at the end. Awards season is kind of over now. I'll miss you!

This Post Was Hijacked By the ATAS

ATAS = Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

I was going to try to write a review of Work of Art, but I realized a few things. 1. I am so tired that I am beginning to hallucinate, 2. My brains are trying to crack my skull right open, 3. I just said "brains" when I should know that it can only be "brain," singular, geez, you don't have more than 1 brain, 4. the Emmy nominations are out, and 5. I'M REALLY COLD AND IT'S NOT EVEN COLD TODAY.

Let's focus on #4.

Here's the list of main nominations. If you care about things like directing, writing, and stunt coordination like I do, then you might want to go to the actual Emmy website, where they have a fancy drop-down menu of ALL the nominations.

Before I start ranting, let me just say that I rely a bit too much on awards shows like this to base my opinions on things. Awards help me affirm and tailor my tastes in television, which is pathetic, because it's television, and the most important thing should be whether it entertains you or not. Since I watch a lot of reruns and not a lot of new shows on TV (especially when it comes to dramas; I don't watch a single drama during its regular season, unless Glee counts), the Emmy Awards show is particularly useless to me. I like seeing the celebrities the best, but when you don't know or care about the majority of them, then it gets boring, especially when people from horrible shows like, um, Gary Unmarried or Friends (yeah, I HATE FRIENDS. Wanna make something of it?) get to go. I used to not watch the Emmys at all for this reason. I still love the Oscars better. But now that I watch some things that actually qualify for the 2010 Emmys as opposed to the 1990 Emmys, then I guess I have to watch it. And I have to rant at you about it. Moving on.

Okay, so, first things first. We failed, team. We failed to get Zach Gilford (if there wasn't already a Zachy G. in my life, I would surely have affectionately dubbed him that by now) the nomination he deserved (for Best Guest Actor in a Drama). Fortunately, "The Son" got a writing nod and to the excitement of FNL fans across the country the two lead actors got nominations. When I saw that both Kyle Chandler AND Connie Britton got nominated, I was happily surprised. And I'm not even completely sure who they are! (But then, who are we, anyway? Yeah, I just got all philosophical on y'all's eyeballs. ...I'll leave now.)

As I said before, I'm not much of a follower of drama, but I'm happy that Dexter got so many nominations. Hopefully it sweeps all of its acting categories like it did at the Globes. I love Michael C. Hall (who doesn't?) and I want him to get everything he deserves. I also want him to hang out with me some time. We can go see a movie together. It doesn't even need to be a good movie. Ahem, but I fully expect that Mad Men will do its obligatory "Yeah, we're cool and awesome and retro" rounds and win everything. I didn't care much for what I saw of it (which is way more than you'd think) but I really like Elisabeth Moss and everyone is so wildly obsessed with Christina Hendricks' boobs acting, so if either of them won Supporting Actress, I'd be happy, I guess.

Drama seems to be relying on the old (stale) standbys, but Comedy saw things being changed up. In Best Series we see Nurse Jackie, Modern Family, and Glee as newcomers in the race, and a show I always enjoy when I see it, Curb Your Enthusiasm, gets a nomination for the first time in what seems to be a long time (2 years is a long time, okay?!). I, like basically anyone with a functioning sense of humor, like Modern Family and Nurse Jack-ay is supposed to be good, but I'm going to be a hater and say that I really, really am tired of this Glee bandwagon that's been making its rounds to every state in the country and picking up people for a joy ride that they're brainwashed into enjoying and never allowed to get off of and required to spend lots and lots of money on and then, years later, when it's finally over, they get nothing but a sense of dread that, crud, maybe they've made the world a slightly less habitable place. This can be simplified: I HATE GLEEKS. If you call yourself a Gleek, I hate you. Go away. I'm sorry, but leave. Now. There are things I can like about Glee, as I've written about in the past; I like Kurt and I'm really glad that he got a nomination, even though his acting is generally nothing to write home about (He hopefully got nominated for Rose's-Stinking-Amazing-Turn and that whole "Home" episode in general), and I like his dad, whose name is annoyingly Burt. But Glee is not a god. If Glee is your deity of choice then WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Go watch Singin' in the Rain or something before I make your face melt* with my poorly articulated ranting!

Glee leads the stinking pack with 19 noms. Nineteen. Let's talk about something else, though. Modern Family got a lot of acting nominations, which makes me happy. GO TY BURRELL GO GO GO. The Office was largely left out, but hey, I'm not complaining. Its Series nod is unwarranted, if you ask me. "Niagara" a.k.a. "Jim and Pam's WACKY Wedding" got a writing nomination, confusing the heck out of me. I will admit, though, it was probably my favorite episode of the season. 30 Rock got lots of nominations for a season that many people felt was lackluster but I found to be quite good. I wish that Cheyenne Jackson as Jack/Danny was nominated for Guest Actor, but Will Arnett was, instead, which is definitely fine. Devin is one of the best characters. (Oh, and go J. Krak for Supporting! You won't win because of Jane Lynch, but even so.) Amy Po-Po got nom'd for Parks and Rec which she definitely deserved. I was once a P&R hater but now I find myself wishing it was recognized for more. This season was great.

Big thing that people will use to affirm some kind of nonsensical and unimportant point over the next few months: Conan's Tonight Show was nominated for Variety Series while Jay Leno was nowhere to be found. Well, duh. Hollywood loves Conan, and they feel all the more sympathetic for him now that he can't afford to come to the country club anymore. Unfortunately, he'll lose to Jon Stewart, but it's okay. At least we know he'll be there. (Also: how the heck does SNL still get nominated for these things? Is there really no other variety show to fill up the space?! That show aside, every show nominated is excellent. Colbert especially was awesome this year - I loved his Olympics coverage. So. Much.)

I think it's stupid to nominate reality shows, but there are some good ones. Like Intervention! Sadly, despite having a few of the best episodes in its entire run (Amy W., Marquel) last season, it was snubbed. However, it did win last year, and that season was probably the single greatest (Joey AND Bret were in that season, I mean, c'mon), so let's give someone else a turn. (I'm an Intervention obsessive, so apologies for my confusing babble.) In Reality-Competition we see Top Chef nominated against the newly-Lifetime'd Project Runway. I want Top Chef to win. I better get what I want. Also, why the heck was Padma not nominated for Best Host when she is a truly excellent host? Watching Top Chef recently proved that to me. She rules.

No one cares about Outstanding Animated Program anymore, but I do. The only things that anyone likes that were nominated are South Park and The Simpsons, and one of those isn't even good anymore. You can pick which one. The South Park episode(s?) nominated are the controversial Mohammed ones, so I think that just knowing about them alone will guarantee that voters will choose them. South Park is probably the only one that even deserves a win, anyway. By the way, did you know Anne Hathaway was nominated for her guest appearance on The Simpsons? How weird is that! I seriously did a double-take.

I think the nominations made a lot of people happy. Some new blood was brought in, which helps to outweigh the staleness of certain other categories. However, even categories that feature the same dang people over and over have been injected with some new life (apparently people are very happy about Matthew Fox's nomination, for instance). I read a lot of Dream Nominations yesterday and the day before (okay, not a lot, but enough) and it seems like a lot of people's "dreams" came true.

Sorry for that lame joke. Emmys are on end of August. Expect more ranting to commence the day after they air.



*Please do not hold me liable for any accidents caused by your face spontaneously melting.

Non-Stop Crazy

This music video, for "Swim" by Surfer Blood, which is, according to NeoGAF, an "overly elitist hipster mega-popular underground band," is really weird. Really. The ending helps it to make sense in some way, but the majority of it is incredibly nonsensical. I just thought you had to see it. (The song itself is okay, but I like the comparable "Daisy" by Fang Island better. This is a good summer song, too, though. I can understand how those not-so-lovable hipsters go crazy for this band. What I don't get is why they sell this album at Target.)



Know any other WILD and CRAZY videos? Post them in the comments, I guess.

In other news, Javier Bardem will be on Glee next season (for what I presume is a guest-starring role) and I finally beat this one really hard boss in Final Fantasy XIII.

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #2

Me cosplaying as Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now. LOLOLOL (That's not funny, is it?)

It seems like every time I want to write these things, I'm watching something on MTV. This time, it's True Life: I Hate My Face. Ladies, don't worry, you're not alone; I hate your faces too!

So, that aside:

• MTV Movie Awards: I saw them yesterday, and then again today (not by choice the second time!) They weren't that good, at all. Predictably, Twilight swept everything. Pretty lame. Trying to think of funny moments right now and failing really hard. Oh, actually, no, Aziz Ansari was surprisingly funny; I liked his Human Giant skit and the one with Zach Galifianakis. He was teaching Zachy G. how to have "swagga." It was as funny as it sounds. The opening with Les Grossman (from the stinking 2-year-old Tropic Thunder, I mean, come on guys, he's funny, but why are you bringing him back now? So random) was pretty funny. Michael Cera bookends. Yep.
• Apocalypse Now: Just saw the end today. It was a pretty excellent movie, aside from the fact that I had no clue what was going on half the time. But that's what happens when you watch it over a period of a week. You know. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR!" Why is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" such a popular line? Really. But I did love that character, even though he really wasn't that important in the long run. And --spoiler-- who ever thought that Lance would be the only one in Martin Sheen's party left? NOT I STEVE CARELL
• The Hard Times of RJ Berger hatred: Okay. So. You should probably know me well enough to know that I kind of HATE a lot of things. Sometimes I just make assumptions. Usually, though, my assumptions are OVER 9000% CORRECT. This is one of those times. RJ Berger is some little demon that reared its ugly little head in some MTV/Viacom office saying "PUT ME ON TELEVISION OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND MAYBE ALL OF YOUR SHETLAND PONIES TOO." We all know how much Viacom employees love their complimentary Viacom Corp. Shetland ponies, so they, begrudgingly, obeyed Mr. Berger's commands and gave him his horrible show. Okay, so, back to the assumption thing: I kind of haven't seen the whole show yet. But really, if you saw the commercials, you'd know - it's not necessary for me to see it to know that it sucks. I MEAN. COME ON. RJ is supposed to be 15 and HE LOOKS CORY MONTEITH-AGED. Man, it's just not okay. After it premiered on Sunday, I checked the Internetz and saw that most people above the age of 14 called it crud. I also found out that it was a lot more...um...yeah, just read this: http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-hard-times-of-rj-berger-pilot,41841/
• Old video game commercials: Okay, these aren't that old, but remember now: I'm young and stuff. There's the Kirby! Nightmare in Dreamland one that has that song that everyone who was worth my time (oh snizz oh snizz) knew all the words to back in, like, fourth grade; then there's the Super Smash Bros. one from all the way back in the 90s. That one's one of the GREATEST. EVER. It's even greater than my cat. And my cat is pretty darn great. (ETA: Upon further consideration, I have decided that my cat is still greater than this commercial.) Oh! Then there's the Pokemon Red and Blue commercial. Guess who's in it? DRAKE BELL. Gasp! Giggle! Squee! Here's another one that's actually really depressing for a commercial trying to sell you two really expensive kids' games. Man, Nintendo had the best commercials back in the day. Now? Meh.
• E3 excitement: OH MY GOD IT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY GAIZ. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO excited. I think this year's going to be AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF LIKE TOTALLY FERRLZ. I probably shouldn't hype it so much BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAN! Last year it was really early, and I had Study Hall 9th period so I left school early to go watch the press conferences. Now it's during my Finals week, so I come home even EARLIER! :D ...but then I have to study. But PSH THAT CAN WAIT. Plus, on the last day I don't have any tests. I might have to be resuscitated, guys. Be on hand.
• Glee season finale: This season was insanely long. Insanely. Scarily, even. The thing is, it wasn't really any longer than the average season, number of episodes-wise. It just lasted the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. It was crazed. This episode had a lot of problems; it felt completely like a different show. Refer to this annoyingly positive but still pretty on-the-nose review: http://www.avclub.com/articles/journey,41944/ Here's the single-greatest moment from not just the episode, but also probably the season (next to Kurt's "Rose's Turn" and that sweet moment with him and his dad and Finn); it's Jonathan Groff singing "Bohemian Rhapsody!" 

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #1

(Relevant meaning to this blog.)

HELLO :) I'm watching MTV's Return to Fat Camp. I live for the Fat Camp series. It's definitely one of my favorite guilty pleasures.

I could write a whole entry on it, but I've devoted enough space to MTV lately. So instead, I'm going to talk about the pop culture-y things I've been thinking about in my otherwise incessantly dull day! This may or may not become a more frequent thing! SO PREPARE.

• Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber: It is exactly as its name implies. AND IT IS AWESOME. Some of these "Biebians" as the creepy Justin Bieber-lookalike who maintains it calls them looks so much like (male) Justin Bieber it is frightening and amazing. It's interspersed with actual Justin Bieber pics. A lot of the time I see them (BECAUSE I SPEND A LOT OF TIME ON HERE OKAY) and think, "Whoa, that lesbian looks EXACTLY like Justin Bieber!" but then I realize that it IS Justin Bieber. He is pretty girly, though, so it's probs a common mistake.

• Tuesday's episode of Glee: So, remember that it was kind of a make or break it for me? Well, it was pretty good. Neil Patrick Harris was, obviously, awesome. I laughed, bro. I laughed out loud. Kids these days would just be like "lol gleeee <33" to their friends on Facebook, son, without laughing for real, but me? I ACTUALLY LAUGHED. The episode was called "Dream On" so, um, here's the eponymous song (which I don't really like when NPH and Matty Morrison aren't rocking out to it). NPH is scary in it (ETA: clip fix'd): 

• Reruns of The Office on TBS: Tomorrow I plan on doing my FIRST EVAH TV reviews on this here blog. That means there's a 50-50 chance of me actually doing them! And if I do, you may find out about my tumultuous relationship with The Office. Here it is in a nutshell, though: There are only two amazing seasons of the show. One other season is very good. The other three are horrible. So horrible, in fact, that I tell people I have a tumultuous relationship with the show. It's that meaningful to me. Okay? Okay. Yesterday I watched reruns of two excellent Season 3 episodes (Season 3 is the "very good" season, by the way), and it made me sad that the show is so BAD now. They were "The Return" and "Ben Franklin." I stinking love those episodes. Those episodes alone warranted my Season 3 DVD purchase (that and my dream of becoming an Office historian). 

• LittleBigPlanet 2: I'm insanely excited for it. Me and my homie G slice Laur-Laur tear LBP 1 UP. And, I mean, I've known about the sequel for awhile. Come on, I read video game news everyday. But I just read that it'll feature custom voice acting, which is a cool (albeit frightening) proposition. I'm going to definitely put really disturbing voices in my RPG (because you can make RPGs and other types of games in the sequel, too :D).  

• Elliott Smith: He's dead. :( I mean, he's been dead for almost 10 years now. But I was listening to "The Biggest Lie," "Needle in the Hay," and "The White Lady Loves You More" today and bro, it made me sad. People like Conor Oberst (who I do like) try to emulate his style, but there's no one alive who's better. Download: "The Biggest Lie", "The White Lady Loves You More"

• Rotten Tomatoes ranks SNL movies: Obviously, most of them are horrible. I've seen Coneheads, Superstar, Wayne's World, and Wayne's World 2. Didn't like any of them. And isn't it funny that Al Franken starred in Stuart Saves His Family? And that It's Pat! even exists?

Yeah, that's about it. And now, I'm going to return to Fat Camp! Get it?! YES!

So I Was Wrong

Glee might not be completely awful now. Last week's episode was amazing.

The redeeming moments!:

Puck and Mercedes singing "The Laaaaadyyyy is a Traaaaamp"

Mercedes and Santana singing "The Boy is Mine." Ahahaha.

Kurt singing  "Rose's Turn" from Gypsy. So GOOD.

And next week, Neil Patrick Harris is going to be on! Let's see if Glee can keep it up. 

ETA: Youtube! STOP TAKING THE ILLEGAL GLEE CLIPS DOWN ): Make due with these.

Six

I guess you've heard of Glee. If you've ever been around at least one 15-year-old girl, or one 28-year-old guy (yeah, I don't get that, either), then you most certainly have. And if you know about the show, then you probably know that they have the second most obnoxious fanbase out there.

Until last Friday, I considered myself to be sitting on the lowest rung of that scary collective. That is no longer.

What do we blame? We blame "The Power of Madonna."

Background you don't care about: I stinking hate Madonna. Yeah, her songs are "catchy." Yeah, her style was cool. Whatever. I don't care. I don't like her. (And Desperately Seeking Susan was so bad that I couldn't watch more than 45 minutes of it. Sorry.)

For some reason, Ryan Murphy and his gang of gal pal writers thought that people my age and younger/very slightly older idolized Madonna. They also thought a lot of other stupid things that they deserve to be slapped for: they thought they knew what was a satire was. They thought they knew what a capella was. They thought they knew that it's totally cool to leave the toilet seat up in the bathroom. (FYI, it's not. At all. So put that seat down before I jam it up a place it shouldn't go...yeah, no, I won't do that. But please, I appeal to you, put that toilet seat down. Do you know how many animals die from falling into the toilet each day? MILLIONS. Yeah. Think about that.)

In actuality, they knew nothing. I was enticed by Glee at first by the happy-go-lucky musical numbers by some truly good singers and the promise of satire. I was let down, again and again. For thirteen weeks in a row, I was let down. Those musical numbers? Yeah, they weren't even live. They were overproduced and Auto-Tuned so much that even T-Pain would cry from the sheer faux perfection. That satire? Excuse me, what satire? How is this supposed to be the anti-High School Musical, again? Oh, because you have like fifteen pregnant characters? Oh, that's original! Oh, because the obviously gay kid actually comes out of the closet? Oh, that's original! (Even more original is that the fat black girl with the awesome voice, yet another innovation by the Glee creators, fell in love with him because she COULDN'T TELL HE WAS GAY. YEAH. THAT WOULD TOTALLY HAPPEN, RYAN MURPHY. TOTALLY. And when he came out of the closet, he cried and acted as if NO ONE COULD TELL. SERIOUSLY GUYS. ROUND OF APPLAUSE.) Oh, because the high school sophomores are played by some blatantly obvious 28-year-olds? Have you seen Dawson's Creek, Ryan Murphy? How old did you think they were? 16? HA. FUNNY.

 Oh, is this another example of your winning satire, Glee gang? Oh, that's just precious.

The show is not tongue-in-cheek. The show is a teen drama. All of the good reviews it gets are by people who want so badly for it to be good that they read all of this (melo)drama crud into it. I mean, dear god, people. Really? "Glee is one of the darkest shows on television. When Rachel sings 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' to herself with her hairbrush, it really shows how lonely she is inside; in fact, it may even be a metaphor for the suicidal tendencies she will most definitely soon display in an upcoming episode, and it gives her some great characterization and emotional depth." NO. NO. THE GIRL IS SINGING WITH A HAIRBRUSH. SHE IS NOT PROUST. SHUT UP. 

Why the heck do you hire Lea Michele and Matthew Morrison if they're NOT EVEN GOING TO SING LIVE? Oh, because you want those stupid little girls who are going to buy the songs off iTunes later to be able to hear the exact same song? WHO CARES? Obviously Ryan Bleeding Murphy cares more about his brand than his integrity. But then again, WHAT STINKING INTEGRITY? THIS IS THE GUY WHO MADE THE SHOW ABOUT PLASTIC SURGERY GUEST-STARRING ROSIE O'DONALD.

Despite the overproduction, the music is the best part of the show. But is that saying much? Because the writing is horrible, the editing makes me want to punch babies, the acting is sub-par, the smugness, the self-righteousness, the awkwardness, everything ignites a fire in me. A FIRE THAT BUUUURNS. This fire is outta control -- wait, this is not the time to be singing that.

So, what does Madonna have to do with me going from enjoying this show, despite pointing out its very obvious and numerous flaws, to hating it so much that I am forced to write a long and angry post punctuated with obnoxious capitalization? Because last week they showed "the" Madonna episode. Yes, as if every show worth its weight in anything needs a Madonna-centric episode. And the Madonna episode was probably the worst episode I have seen of this show so far. In fact, it's one of the worst episodes I've seen of any show this year. And I watch The Office on a regular basis! (Oh, snap. If you want to hear me rant about that show, then you'll have to give me another good three hours. We'll save that for another day.)

But first, the good. Um. Jonathan Groff was there. I love Jonathan Groff. I mean, he was pretty bad, but just the fact that he was there was nice. Um, the 4 Minutes scene was pretty awesome? Yeah. That's kind of it.

The bad? Um, does "everything else" count? Sue Sylvester just isn't that funny. That "Vogue" scene was sososososososo bad I can't even begin to explain it. The "Like a Virgin" scene? No. No. No. NO ONE DOES THAT. NOT EVEN IN DREAM SEQUENCES. And they tried to make that scene so "powerful," so interesting, but really, it wasn't. It was so painful for me to watch that whatever sad poignance it was supposed to have was totally lost on me.

This show just tries to do too much in too short of a time. It tries so hard. It's like that annoying girl in your tenth grade Earth Science class who is like, "Yeah, I do this, this, and this, and I'm awesome, and I'm so good at everything I do, because I do a lot and that makes me awesome and yeah and stuff and um, crud, do we have a test today, because I totally did not study, like, at all" and then they go and they suck at everything they try to do, and you would applaud them for their effort if they weren't so annoying, and then you have to be fake friends with them because you don't want to be mean and then you go and you take to your little blog and you go and you rant like crazy and everyone has no choice but to agree with you because you are so irritated. Yeah. It's exactly like that.

Glee. It's definitely not as bad as that show I saw once on ABC after Modern Family, The Middle, but what makes it so irritating to me is that people seem to be oblivious to its flaws. People can't watch it with a true unbiased eye because of the sparkly magic power of MUSIC by "HIGH SCHOOLERS" who are SO VERY DIVERSE. I mean, there's even a dude in a WHEELCHAIR SINGING! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE 'EM?

Well, for me, I find it very easy. Try to watch that Madonna episode because it was really, really bad. I can't talk too much about it because my arm is starting to hurt and I might have to bite it off soon if I keep typing. Maybe the show will pick up, but personally, I doubt it, and I don't even know if I want to stick around to see if it does. I'll probably wait out Jonathan Groff's guest appearance and then just cut ties with this machine. Glee's on tonight (Tuesday) at some time that I can't remember on FOX if you care to check it out for yourself.