Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #2

Me cosplaying as Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now. LOLOLOL (That's not funny, is it?)

It seems like every time I want to write these things, I'm watching something on MTV. This time, it's True Life: I Hate My Face. Ladies, don't worry, you're not alone; I hate your faces too!

So, that aside:

• MTV Movie Awards: I saw them yesterday, and then again today (not by choice the second time!) They weren't that good, at all. Predictably, Twilight swept everything. Pretty lame. Trying to think of funny moments right now and failing really hard. Oh, actually, no, Aziz Ansari was surprisingly funny; I liked his Human Giant skit and the one with Zach Galifianakis. He was teaching Zachy G. how to have "swagga." It was as funny as it sounds. The opening with Les Grossman (from the stinking 2-year-old Tropic Thunder, I mean, come on guys, he's funny, but why are you bringing him back now? So random) was pretty funny. Michael Cera bookends. Yep.
• Apocalypse Now: Just saw the end today. It was a pretty excellent movie, aside from the fact that I had no clue what was going on half the time. But that's what happens when you watch it over a period of a week. You know. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR!" Why is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" such a popular line? Really. But I did love that character, even though he really wasn't that important in the long run. And --spoiler-- who ever thought that Lance would be the only one in Martin Sheen's party left? NOT I STEVE CARELL
• The Hard Times of RJ Berger hatred: Okay. So. You should probably know me well enough to know that I kind of HATE a lot of things. Sometimes I just make assumptions. Usually, though, my assumptions are OVER 9000% CORRECT. This is one of those times. RJ Berger is some little demon that reared its ugly little head in some MTV/Viacom office saying "PUT ME ON TELEVISION OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND MAYBE ALL OF YOUR SHETLAND PONIES TOO." We all know how much Viacom employees love their complimentary Viacom Corp. Shetland ponies, so they, begrudgingly, obeyed Mr. Berger's commands and gave him his horrible show. Okay, so, back to the assumption thing: I kind of haven't seen the whole show yet. But really, if you saw the commercials, you'd know - it's not necessary for me to see it to know that it sucks. I MEAN. COME ON. RJ is supposed to be 15 and HE LOOKS CORY MONTEITH-AGED. Man, it's just not okay. After it premiered on Sunday, I checked the Internetz and saw that most people above the age of 14 called it crud. I also found out that it was a lot more...um...yeah, just read this: http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-hard-times-of-rj-berger-pilot,41841/
• Old video game commercials: Okay, these aren't that old, but remember now: I'm young and stuff. There's the Kirby! Nightmare in Dreamland one that has that song that everyone who was worth my time (oh snizz oh snizz) knew all the words to back in, like, fourth grade; then there's the Super Smash Bros. one from all the way back in the 90s. That one's one of the GREATEST. EVER. It's even greater than my cat. And my cat is pretty darn great. (ETA: Upon further consideration, I have decided that my cat is still greater than this commercial.) Oh! Then there's the Pokemon Red and Blue commercial. Guess who's in it? DRAKE BELL. Gasp! Giggle! Squee! Here's another one that's actually really depressing for a commercial trying to sell you two really expensive kids' games. Man, Nintendo had the best commercials back in the day. Now? Meh.
• E3 excitement: OH MY GOD IT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY GAIZ. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO excited. I think this year's going to be AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF LIKE TOTALLY FERRLZ. I probably shouldn't hype it so much BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAN! Last year it was really early, and I had Study Hall 9th period so I left school early to go watch the press conferences. Now it's during my Finals week, so I come home even EARLIER! :D ...but then I have to study. But PSH THAT CAN WAIT. Plus, on the last day I don't have any tests. I might have to be resuscitated, guys. Be on hand.
• Glee season finale: This season was insanely long. Insanely. Scarily, even. The thing is, it wasn't really any longer than the average season, number of episodes-wise. It just lasted the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. It was crazed. This episode had a lot of problems; it felt completely like a different show. Refer to this annoyingly positive but still pretty on-the-nose review: http://www.avclub.com/articles/journey,41944/ Here's the single-greatest moment from not just the episode, but also probably the season (next to Kurt's "Rose's Turn" and that sweet moment with him and his dad and Finn); it's Jonathan Groff singing "Bohemian Rhapsody!"