MADE From Bad to Worse

Today I watched a lot of MADE. I was bored, okay?

Two of the three episodes were about cheerleading. The first one was actually not completely horrible. The second one was, though! Why are cheerleaders so whiny?

Was that horribly vague? Good.

The last episode I watched, which was a premiere, was by far the worst, though. Absolute crud. It was about some crazy anime fan who gives all anime fans a bad name. (Here is a video. Thanks, MTV, for not letting me stinking embed. You are so sensible and fair.)

"Amanda," whose name will be in quotes because she's practically a TV character herself, is an insanely awkward, overweight MySpace user (and this is in a post-Facebook world, mind you!) who claims to have no friends or social skills. She wants to be an "independent woman." In her spare time, she likes to make MySpace accounts where she role plays as Sonic the Hedgehog and some really plain-looking moe girl. The latter's profile pic is of the girl lying on her back, pulling her shirt up and probably not wearing underwear.

Moving on.

Despite how awful I'm making her sound, "Amanda" didn't seem that bad, as far as weeaboos go. Sure, she doesn't know squat about any anime that hasn't been on Adult Swim or butchered by 4Kids, but most people haven't, sadly. But then she started crying. Over and over and over again. She would never, ever stop crying.

Her MADE coach was this really obnoxious girl named Julie who would make "Amanda" do all of these idiotic exercises to make her like herself. She also made "Amanda" wear makeup and the hottest fashions one can buy on the cheap from the 2003 store. Okay, whatever. Julie, however, also made her stand on a street corner in Times Square like a cheap prostitute holding a sign reading, "I Have Self-Esteem Problems. Compliment Me." Yes, Julie, that's definitely going to raise her confidence. The stupid girl stood in the middle of the busiest, brightest stinking spot of the loudest city this side of Beijing wearing some ugly sweater and crying her eyes out for the fifth hour straight. It was really pathetic. It would have been sad if I didn't hate this whiny brat so much.

Later on in the show, "Amanda" asked Julie if she could go to Mokucon, which is some stupid anime convention in Rutgers of all nasty places to hold a convention that doesn't even have a website or anything. She wants to go because Vic Mignogna (seen at right) was going to be there. That's when I knew this girl sucked. I love FMA, too, babycakes (sorry, I say that sometimes), but anyone who knows squat about Vic Mig knows he's an borderline insane Evangelical Christian. And I mean, I love Evangelical Christians as much as the next girl, but...wait, actually, no, I HATE EVAGELICAL CHRISTIANS. (No offense to any Evangelicals reading this? Not that there'd be any.)

So, after being denied, "Amanda" starts - guess what? - crying. AGAIN. "I wanna meet Vic, waaaaah, he loves me, I love him, I wanna go to Rutgers and spend $60 so I can touch his perfect effeminate face, maybe he'll kiss me and give me his cowboy hat and spew his pure Christian ideals that I usually pretend to not know about onto my antisocial cheeks!" That's a paraphrase, obviously, but you know.

But GUESS WHAT? Because Julie is soooo "cool" (a word the coach on the okay cheerleading episode used to death, ugh), she gets Vic to go out to dinner with "Amanda"! And the entire time, Vic says, "Sweetie, no, yer beautiful! SwEEEtie!" and then he laughs obnoxiously. "Amanda," after embracing Vic for what has to be the eightieth time during their dinner (which consists of huge and numerous plates of fried meats), tells him about her lifelong dream. You guessed it! She wants to be a VOICE ACTOR. Because that's ENTIRELY POSSIBLE.

And from then on the episode spirals from being an irritating but not completely intolerable romp in the land of Weeaboo-nia to be a nightmareish rollercoaster ride through someone's unfortunate life. She begins pursuing acceptance into the New York Film Academy's acting program. Obviously, she's terrible at voice acting, regular acting, speaking in a voice that isn't annoying (and trust me, I know and am a master of annoying voices), but people keep leading her on, telling her that she's awesome. One particularly saddening part is when her dad is talking about how expensive the school will be: "But if there's anyone who's gonna get dat der talent scholarship, it's 'Amanda!'" And then we see her acting. It's awful.

In the end, though, she gets into the bloody school. The bloody school where my man Joseph Gordon-Levitt once lectured. It's...it just doesn't make sense. At all.

There was more that I just skipped over, but they were stupid and not worth mentioning. (Parties, pssh, who cares? Visiting Stony Brook of all cruddy places? Boring.) MADE isn't known for being, you know, very realistic or anything less than annoying, but I don't usually find myself so bothered by what I'm watching at the end of the episode. So, thank you, "Amanda," for making it my first time.

So I Was Wrong

Glee might not be completely awful now. Last week's episode was amazing.

The redeeming moments!:

Puck and Mercedes singing "The Laaaaadyyyy is a Traaaaamp"

Mercedes and Santana singing "The Boy is Mine." Ahahaha.

Kurt singing  "Rose's Turn" from Gypsy. So GOOD.

And next week, Neil Patrick Harris is going to be on! Let's see if Glee can keep it up. 

ETA: Youtube! STOP TAKING THE ILLEGAL GLEE CLIPS DOWN ): Make due with these.

Daria: She's Like You, Except Actually Cool

Sometimes I wish I was born earlier. Like, at the end of the eighties. I really do like being [insert age here; I always forget], but I missed out on a lot of cool stuff. I feel like I should be older. Albeit with the same very low maturity level. Anyway.

One of the things I was too young for but totally would have dug had I been old enough was Daria, which just came out on DVD yesterday. I can appreciate it now, yes, but there's nothing like seeing something and liking it the first time it comes on. But I never got to experience that.

Copy pasta from Salon:

I've come to the same conclusion as many of the devotees who signed petitions and clamored on message boards for the series' DVD release: "Daria" could have only happened at that time, during that strange, transitional period after the grunge and gangsta rap of the early '90s and before the boy bands and teen queens stepped up to create a glittery pop landscape in the '00s. It spoke directly to those of us on the borderlands between generation X and Y, growing up with the shadows of Kurt Cobain, Tupac and Biggie looming large, who could relate to "The Truth About Cats and Dogs" and "Reality Bites" as well as "The Craft" and "10 Things I Hate About You," who could identify with the screaming discontentment of the 1990s but could also feel the lighter, more hopeful influence of the easygoing and revirginized 2000s.

On all of those things, I missed out. Not alive in the early 90s but barely able to spell at the beginning of the 00s. (Well, actually, that's a lie. I've always been a pretty awesome speller. Although in 2000 I thought that 2 plus 2 was 5, so.)

But enough about me! Let's talk about the show! This isn't supposed to be a borderline lamentation of being born in the wrong decade! Exclamation points!

Set in a mid-Atlantic suburb, the series revolves around Daria and her family, the Morgendorffers. The minutiae of modern life are filtered through Daria's caustic lens, providing moments of apt reflection about the nature of adulthood. At first glance, Daria Morgendorffer appears to be a strange icon to come from the same network that gleefully produced "The Hills," "Laguna Beach," "Jersey Shore" and "My Super Sweet 16." After all, Daria's deadpan delivery and constant cynicism don't exactly fit with the new programming, and her friends are far too multidimensional to be seen on the channel today. Between the eclectic artist Jane Lane and the archetypal high-achieving model minority Jodie Landon (and matching boyfriend Mack), Daria finds backup during the turbulent teen years -- especially while dealing with Beavis and Butt-head clones Kevin and Brittany -- and the machinations of the Lawndale's self-proclaimed fashion police and popular girl squad, the Fashion Club. The series' complex web of teen life is almost impossible to imagine in the demographic-obsessed media market that has emerged since, when so many personalities gracing MTV direct all their contemplative energy toward the nearest tanning bed.

Harsh! But true, really. It's hard for anyone who hasn't heard of the show before to really comprehend that it was on MTV. But MTV was actually a pretty cool place back in the day. Not that there wasn't still stuff on the channel to make fun of -- and Daria did just that.

Daria and Jane were the misanthropic voice of their generation. Their mumbles, grunts, rolled eyes, were all relatable to the average teen outcast. Am I being sarcastic? Slightly, but only because I think that as much as every kid who ever watched the show wanted to be Daria, they never could be; Daria was much cooler than the archetype she was supposed to be representing. In retrospect, it's slightly disheartening, but at the same time, it's fun to think that people like that really exist. She was the weirdo messiah, except not nearly as annoying as you might think she'd be.

So, for years after the show was cancelled, people who felt validated, reaffirmed, comforted by Daria petitioned for the show to be on DVD. And now, nearly ten years later, it finally is. And the nice thing is, Daria, despite its roots firmly planted in that aformentioned transition period, still is applicable today. Everyone goes through their Daria phase, whether or not they're actually anything like her at all. At some point or another, teenagers feel hateful towards the world, to each other, and that's where she comes in.

I think if the DVD was ever going to come out, now is a good time. The people who watched it in their teen years are old enough to watch it with a nostalgic twinkle in their eye but still young enough to be able to enjoy it without an air of pretension. And then there's people who are only now just coming into their "Daria years," people who are starting to feel like they're in the wrong place, people who resent everything, who can take something from the show.

This blog is getting particularly sappy, so let's end it here. Please buy Daria on DVD because it's well worth it. It's stinking hilarious but also nice and reflective towards the end.

And if you could buy me a copy, too, that would be nice. It's a little expensive. I'm young and jobless. I just took an AP exam. Thanks!

Buy it here. And read a nice little interview here.

"Someone with mental problems who happened to have a camera."

This weekend I did a lot of things, most of which are not pertinent to this blog. But I saw a movie, so let's talk about that. It was called Exit Through the Gift Shop. It was pretty cool.

Basically it's about street art, which is mad cool. Since I'm supposed to be studying right now, I'll just let the pictures (by Banksy, Shepard Fairey (whose work you have definitely seen), and Thierry "Mister Brainwash" Guetta, the three "main characters") do the talking.

Banksy, Bethlehem

Banksy, Bristol

 Banksy, New Orleans

Yeah, more Banksy. London

(The coolest part about Banksy is that no one knows who he is. No one, aside from his posse, has seen him before. His parents don't even know that he's the Banksy. It's kind of a romantic notion. This unknown guy making all of this cool artwork, and all we know about him is his pseudonym.)

Shepard Fairey. See? That's him in the middle. Say hi! HI SHEPARD FAIREY

Shepard Fairey

Sheps F-ayer-ey, Boston

S. Fairey, Boston

(I felt really cool watching this movie because I knew who Shepard Fairey was. I mean, I didn't remember his name, but I had read the Wikipedia page for Andre the Giant Has a Posse before, and I remembered it. It was bomba. Do people actually say that?)

Mister Brainwash (MBW), LA

MBW, Paris

MBW, New York Ci-tay 

(Okay, a little more background. Mister Brainwash goes from being Thierry, our "hero" of sorts, our subject, to being the villain. Well, kind of. He starts out as the trusted confidante, lackey, and cameraman for the street art masters, like Sheps and Banksy. But eventually, when Banksy outs him as being a crap filmmaker and turns him loose into the world of street art, he becomes MBW and makes this really bland, borderline copycat artwork that he actually doesn't even make himself. The student becomes the master, and also the millionaire. Sheps and Banksy go from loving this simple-minded Frenchie to feeling disdain for him, resenting him so much that Banksy made this movie about him and made him look like the pompous fool. But whether he's talented or not probably doesn't matter much to him, because he's got the money now, and that's all he needs.) 

BOOOOOOONUS: 

Ozone's Angel, Banksy, London. 

Photo Creds: here,  here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and HERE

Did I Say That I Would Never Talk About Justin Bieber?

I hope not, because I'd be breaking that promise.

Certain things are too good not to post, and today, this Justin Bieber-related video is one of them.

Biebs, as I affectionately call him, because we are good chums and have pet names for each other, for instance, he calls me Lady Legs, which isn't quite as cool as Biebs but is definitely something, is definitely not the smartest. This shouldn't be a surprise; have you ever head "Baby?" I'm pretty sure the only words in that song are "Baby" and "ooh," and ooh isn't even a real word, it's more like an expression of feeling, like "ow." But Biebs doesn't have to be smart, all he has to do is look like a 12-year-old Bie-ver (HA HA OH HA THAT IS SO PUNNY HA HA) and the girls will love him.

 

One of those rare instances when they Photoshop weird-looking people to look weirder.

Justin Bieber is one horrible little demon that I can't ever seem to avoid. Not a day goes by anymore when I don't see his name somewhere, or get that stupid little "One Time" stuck in my head. And despite our aforementioned chumminess, Biebs and I constantly backstab each other. Um, behind each others' backs.

Instead of defending him in his idiotic moments like the one above, I laugh at him. Oh, how I laugh. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh. And when I read articles about him, like this one, I laugh at them, too. Especially these horrible little comments. You won't mind if I post them, will you, Biebs? You won't uninvite me from that quaint little dinner at the Olive Garden (which you insist is real Italian food, oh, you're so naive, it's adorable) that we were going to have with Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift and Taylor Hicks, will you?

BigPhill: he looks like a happy lesbian

Davesays: i wanna slap this kid...tell him to stfu!!

ill2012: isnt tina fey a dy** anyway? looks like justina bieber to her

That last one wasn't all that relevant to the Biebs himself, but I still thought it was funny, in a really sad and pathetic kind of way.

But Biebs! Despite our very high schoolish relationship, there are some things I really like about you. Well, one thing anyway. One thing other than how catchy "One Time" is. LET ME TELL YOU ONE TIME THAT I LOVE, THAT I LOVE~ ahem. I like how self-deprecating you can be. You're not Miley Cyrus, and that's good. You're a Bieb. And a Bieb makes cool videos like this one:

Bieber Takes Over from Justin Bieber

He talks loudly in libraries and he swims directly after he eats. Oh, Biebs. You are my best friend sometimes. And then I remember how stupid you are, you stupid little Canadian, daring to call himself an American, insulting Germans, Americans, and New Zealanders alike, making three-year-old girls cry, and I just don't understand you.

Who could I compare you to? Lil' Bow Wow? No, he was never like this. Justin Timberlake, whose BEST STINKIN' SONG NEXT TO SENORITA AND ROCK YOUR BODY EVEEEER you covered in your youth so supremely? Maybe, but at the same time, JT made babies cry as part of a collective. You're going solo, my man. You're the tiniest teen pop star since that last tiny pop star, and you didn't even need Disney's help!

It's why Funny or Die and I find you so encapsulating, such a force that we must reckon with. I don't think I'm using that phrase correctly.

This kid can have these really obnoxious and idiotic fans and make videos on Funny or Die, which isn't the most idiotic preteen girl-friendly, and they will still make accounts to post poorly spelled messages to "him," as if he will read them. And he can post totally serious videos on the site and still get Chosen One status!

Justin Bieber In Concert from Justin Bieber
 

Select Comments:

didnceto0o: i don'love u-i like u. but not because u are famouse or all the girla love u.i like u just because u act like a normal boy-not like a flashy superstar and of the videos i know u have really big heart!i like this in you. maybe i'm crazy but..

minkay: Pretty sure that If I met you, I would give you a million roses. I would do anything you wanted me to do for ever and ever. Because your heart and mine make a whole, and I will go out with other people, but my heart only belongs to you. Forever and ever.


Chrissi: Hey Guys!
Please vote for my cats:
http:// www.whiskas.com.au/CatProfile.aspx?id=40730
&
http:// www.whiskas.com.au/CatProfile.aspx?id=40709

(Remove Spaces)

They are cuties! :D

I just don't get you, Bieber. You're nothing special. But everyone loves you. If I were a few years younger, maybe I would understand, although I doubt it, since I was never really that kind of kid. 

But I don't hate you. I could tolerate a world where Biebs is on the top of the charts. Sure, he may not know what "German" means, but, well, he doesn't dress like a stinking disgusting ugly obnoxious oh-my-god-shut-up-no-one-cares slut bag. And that's a good thing.

(Biebs, a German is someone from Germany. Just letting you know. And please call me about our dinner plans.)

Better Than Both the Bologna and the Salami Combined

Today I bought something from Hot Topic for the first time.

Generally, I can't stay in that joint for longer than two minutes. But today? Today, I was there for TEN MINUTES. The cashiers were surprisingly friendly. The dude let me go even though I was six cents short. He also made it so that they wouldn't send me emails (because they have a free "Friends with Benefits" card thing and he made me sign up for that. Well, he didn't make me. But he was so nice!)

So yes. And even though I was in there with the mission to get my friend a birthday present (or three, because we are both awesome), I actually found myself WANTING TO BUY STUFF FOR ME. It was shocking.

Those of you Hot Topic and/or Fonzie Was Six Four-savvy might think, "Oh, well, they sell Contra, so you probably wanted that." But no. I did not want that.

I wanted their Rocko's Modern Life stuff.

Unless you had or were a child in the mid-90s, you probably don't remember what that was. But you should, because Rocko's Modern Life is one of the best cartoons EVER. And I do not say this ironically, unlike most Hot Topic patrons. I sincerely love Rocko's. It might seem weird that I still like the same stuff that I liked when I was three, but you can't really get some of the best stuff in Rocko's until you're older.

For a show on Nickelodeon, it was actually really dirty. Despite it being about an amiable wallaby, his neurotic and/or idiotic friends, and his "modern life," they managed to make it fairly adult, including in tons of sexual jokes. Because we all know sex jokes are adult.

Observe!

That frog is Mrs. Bighead, Rocko's neighbor who often gets into some really weird situations with him. There's this one episode that got banned called "Leap Frogs" that was basically about Mrs. Bighead trying to seduce Rocko. Yeah, it was pretty awkward. Especially since Mr. Bighead absolutely HAAAAATES Rocko, and pretty much everything. Like me!

The show often found itself censored due to its age-inappropriate content. In the earlier seasons, the fast food chain that is referenced in tons of episodes is called the Chokey Chicken, which is a joke that I never got until I was 12 while watching this show again. But later on, Nick wised up and made them change it to Chewy Chicken, which just isn't the same. Here's a scene that was censored after its original airing:

Pretty self-explanatory. I personally don't think that's one of the worst jokes, but then again, I like all of the jokes in the show, inappropriate or not. The thing is, the show always tried to "skew older," as its creator, my boy Joe Murray, said. Well, it didn't really try, but that's just how it turned out. They were able to create a show that was appealing to kids AND to adults. Those shows are always the best, aren't they?

And it had the coolest style. What I really like about animation is that oftentimes it isn't realistic. It creates this cool world that you would never encounter in your real life, and it just feels very massive to be. I love facial expressions, I like crazy colors, I like all of that stuff. Some directors try to take that style and apply it to live-action film (think Baz Luhrman), but it never turns out well. It feels too forced. But in animation, it comes pretty effortlessly.

Listen to the awesome theme songs, of which there were three (the third version is probably the most popular. It was done by the B-52s!):

Awesome. And even though the show had some adult stuff in it (not just the "dirty" jokes, but also a lot of social commentary; it's called Modern Life for a reason, as it often exaggerates and criticizes the late 20th Century life), it was still really kid-friendly and hilarious. Here's a song that I always liked from one of my favorite episodes:

Yeah, that's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of my life. And it's the kind of song that's catchy and funny enough for kids and their parents. It doesn't pander to either. And it's educational! So there! I think any show that wants to make it into the highest echelons of time needs to have a song in it. We always remember the songs from shows that we liked when we were younger. Music brings people together, as do cartoons. That's why you often see them combined.

I think most kids didn't really get what this scene was about (I know I didn't), but it was still hilarious. Now that I get that they were implying that Rocko was gay, there's a new understanding of it, but it doesn't change it that much. I do quite like it when he says, "Did I say 'rainbows?' I meant to say 'dolls!'" Tee-hee. And I like how everyone just immediately turns against him. I love that kind of stuff, animation or live-action.

Here's some clips from another really good episode where Rocko and his BFFAEAE (ugh, my friend says that all the time, it's so stupid) Heffer (a steer - not a cow!! - raised by this really classic family of wolves) go to France. This employs a lot of that social commentary that the show is so good at. And the facial expressions! I love this show's style! And Tom Kenny is one of the best voice actors ever.

I think my favorite character, other than Rocko (I always love the main characters), is Filburt. Filburt was this Woody Allen-esque turtle: completely neurotic, things never go right for him, etc. His "catchphrase," which was one of the show's few such things in a time when catchphrases were practically pre-requisites for getting your show on TV, was "I'm nauseous, I'm nauseous." Kind of sums him up. Oh, and Filburt, like Woody Allen, had a thing for really weird girls. His wife was this...cat...thing with a claw who always said, "Kay?" and definitely belonged in an asylum of some sorts. Dr. Hutchinson. She was insane.

Here's a Filburt clip!

And finally, here is the best scene from the absolute best episode of the show. Find some way to watch it; it's called "Wacky Delly." It was THE BEST. It was about the son of the Bigheads, who was based on and I think voiced by Joe Murray, who was the animator of this insanely popular but insanely stupid show called The Fatheads. He hated it. It was this great story about the tragic artist that was kind of subverted, because he calls on Rocko, Filburt, and Heffer to make a new show for him so he can go and do...well, nothing, really. And this is what was turned out, Wacky Delly:

And guess what? Everyone loves it.  But who wouldn't? I would watch that show. And I would watch Rocko's everyday for the rest of my life if I could.

And what a nice life that would be.

P.S. Please read the Wikipedia page. It has a lot of really interesting stuff that even I didn't know on it! Like Joe Murray's wife killed herself, for instance! I wonder how that really influenced the show? MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE THAT OUT TOGETHER. :)

Because Even the New York Times Says "Pedo-Bait"

Well, "pedophile bait," anyway. Ross Douthat (cool name) uses the phrase in his recent column on the South Park Mohammad "scandal," "controversy," "affair," "event," whatever you want to name it.

For the most part, I agree with Mr. Douthat (Do-that? Doe-that?). However, when he says "Our culture has few taboos that can’t be violated, and our establishment has largely given up on setting standards in the first place," I have to disagree.

Yes, in this country, we have shows like South Park or Saturday Night Live that make fun of (poorly, in the case of the latter) pretty much everything. But I wouldn't say that they, for the most part, escape criticism. Remember when Jamie Foxx told Miley Cyrus to "make a sex tape" and "get chlamydia off a bicycle seat?" Yeah, that didn't go over well. While I, too, am not a Cyrus fan, even I think that that was out of line.

Even though Ciley Myrus (c wut i did thar) and other teen stars are often times mocked in the media, I think a lot of people to tend to be fairly protective of them. Miley Cyrus is more of an exception, because she is criticized a lot, and rightfully so. But a lot of the other teen stars or Young Hollywood members are quick to be defended by random people of the public.

It's like how the media has a general understanding to not take pictures of the Obama girls when they're at school or otherwise not at the White House/with their parents. They're kids. We have to leave them alone.

The South Park thing? The only thing I thought was surprising was that usually the show gets away with this kind of thing. That, and I was a bit surprised that this event got to be so big. Really quite run of the mill stuff being turned into a big thing.

I guess Matt and Trey (yeah, I'm on first-name basis with them and I don't even watch the show. Wanna make something of it?) got pretty ticked because apparently Mohammad wasn't really in the show or something. But to me, it seems like whining about pushing too many buttons that you were already warned not to push.

I'm not on the side of censorship, but I think we have to understand that there are things, quite a few things, that we should know better than to poke fun of.

And now, I'm going to go watch Conan on 60 Minutes. Whoa, that's his wife?! Um. Well, I'll just keep my opinion to myself.