"Who wants to go to the hospital?"

No, unfortunately this post is not Arrested Development-related.

Check out this newest heart attack waiting to happen: the Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt:

Since KFC introduced the Double Down earlier this year, fast food chains are tripping over themselves to slap together as many of their limited menu items as possible. In the process they're churning out some pretty disturbing food-like substances.  

You can add the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from the Friendly's restaurant chain to the growing list of WTFood items. This monster packs 1,500 calories and 97 grams of fat, but I guess that's what happens when you sell three sandwiches as one (at least it's two-thirds vegetarian!).

Disgusting. I'm not a fan of grilled cheese sandwiches and I don't eat beef, but even so: how can anyone be expected to eat this?! How could anyone ever take their kids to Friendly's and say, "Hmm, you know what, Sharon? I think I'll get that burger that's 75% grilled cheese sandwich, because having one or the other just isn't enough!" And then Sharon says, "Whatever you say, honey, I'm just the wife, and thus I have no say on anything." Her husband replies, "You're darn right you don't have any say!" And then Sharon dies a little more inside.

Despite this sandwich's obvious grossness, I'm not sure it truly beats the former King of Oh You Silly Obese Americans And Your Silly Fattening Burgers, KFC's Double Down.

The first time I ever saw this burger, I nearly vomited. It's hard to keep myself from doing it right now, in fact. Who could eat this?! Who? It doesn't even have any semblance of actual BREAD; it's just all MEATMEATMEATMEAT (and some cheese, and some mayo).

“For your real chicken sandwich lover, you no longer have to go to a burger place for a (not as tasty) chicken sandwich. This is so meaty, there is no room for the bun,” Maynard said. The latter quip will serve as the catchphrase in an upcoming national ad campaign to announce the Double Down.

The Double Down comes either grilled or fried with KFC’s Original Recipe. The fried version has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. The grilled version has 460 calories, 23 grams of fat and 1,430 milligrams of sodium.

On the bright side, this excrement-resembling "treasure" is nowhere near as caloric and fattening as the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. The magic of chicken! Believe me, there are few people out there who love chicken as much as I do, but I still can't believe that someone would actually be willing to eat this. Look at all of that sodium! Also, I have yet to see this grilled version. I wonder how the heck that could work. The fried version at least shapes the chicken into something bread-like (although it still totally looks like something you'd find in a diaper).

Which would you rather have send you to the hospital? The Grilled Cheese Burger Melt or the Double Down?

ETA: I know I sad I was taking the whole weekend off, but then I remembered that I have nothing else to do but post on my blog (or watch America's Next Top Model marathons; I've been doing that, too).