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| Leo: "lulz dis is purdy darn hilarious" |
This article is hilarious. Please, read it with me.
Leonardo DiCaprio has been granted a three-year restraining order from a woman he said claims to be his wife an carrying his child. A Los Angeles judge ordered on Friday that Livia Bistriceanu stay 100 yards from the 'Departed' actor.Please, bear with me. I know this all sounds incredibly strange. But you haven't yet read the last paragraph! In all honesty, I have read a ton of classic novels, played excellent games to their completion, listened to the last song on a fantastic album, but few things can really top this for me.
DiCaprio's request included statements from the actor and his security team claiming Bistriceanu, who has been placed on a psychological hold twice, had traveled from Chicago to Los Angeles at least twice to try to meet DiCaprio at his home and business office. She refused to leave the properties and acted aggressively, the court filings state.
The Academy Award-nominated actor did not attend Fridays' hearing. He wrote in court filings that she "has evidenced a willingness to make physical contact with me regardless of the consequences."
Leo is the father of baby Jesus. Really, what can beat that? That's how the article ENDS. That's it. That is all. I nominate this for a Best Writing for a Comedy Article at whatever awards show even gives out that award.
DiCaprio said he has never met Bistriceanu, but she has sent him numerous handwritten letters. One letter included the greeting, "Dear husband Leo," and contained statements that Bistriceanu believed DiCaprio was the father of baby Jesus.
Not only that, but this deranged psychopath called Leo her "husband." Poor, poor Leo. That must be tough. Having people want to, I dunno, be married to you. Come here,
Be-are-be, laughing my not quite as round head off.
I would believe that Leo is the fahter of baby Jesus. XDDDDDDDD
ReplyDeleteThat's much too much.
Better Leo than Mel Gibson if we're re-imagining Jesus's pop.. obviously this young woman has confused celebrity with deity... two very confusing, but capable of hilarity, concepts. nice writing, Fonzie..
ReplyDeleteOh teh lulz. I remember you telling me about this, but your blogging it is better, because you forgot to include the part about his extremely round head. And the part where you wrote she thinks HE gave birth to baby Jesus. I can't tell if that error was on purpose or a mistake, but it is a funny one. So Leonardo DiCaprio is the reincarnate of the virgin Mary. XD This shouldn't be nominated for that award, it should win.
ReplyDeleteOh wow, I didn't even catch that logical oversight. Thanks Deer X'D Although it is purdy hilarious so it's okay.
ReplyDeleteAlso, at "richard," WHOEVER YOU ARE, are you telling me that Mel Gibson is NOT the father of Jesus? Do you know what you're saying?