A Random Video for My Entertainment

I am really tired, so I don't really want to write a whole fancy post. SORRY! So here's an amusing video with my good friend Anderson Cooper (we are seriously best buds; he just doesn't know it yet) and Cam'ron, who apparently is a really popular rapper although I don't think I've ever heard of any of his music ever in my life.

Whatever. It's amusing.



Yes, Cam'ron. If there's a serial killer next door, just move away silently. Let the new neighbors deal with him! You are such an upstanding citizen. (Oh, brother.)

To all of the places that I have known!

This song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. It's so crazy, I enjoy it immensely.

In other news, I have to go watch a new episode of Top Chef: Just Desserts and the new and quite good drama Lone Star just got cancelled after two episodes. Sad. Although I guess I shouldn't have expected much; it's critically-acclaimed and aired on FOX. So... :(

Well, um, good night. Ed is a por-TAAAAAAL!

As If You Needed Another Reason to Love Tim Gunn

I hate Taylor Momsen. I hate, hate, hate, hate her. Yes, perhaps it's pointless to hate some celebrity whom I've never met and is only a couple of months older than me, but I just can't stand people like her, regardless of their celebrity status or not. They're completely aggravating, they make other people their age look similarly worthless, and they're so stinking full of themselves, it makes me want to puke my chicken Gorgonzola all over their faces.

Thankfully, Tim Gunn seems to feel the same way:

"What a diva!" he told E! News of the 17-year-old. "She was pathetic, she couldn't remember her lines, and she didn't even have that many. I thought to myself 'why are we all being held hostage by this brat?"
... "I'd say, 'You know young lady, there are hundreds of thousands of girls who are just as attractive and even smarter than you. Why are you acting like this show is a huge burden on you?' She was on her phone during every break, I wanted to tell her, 'If you weren't on your BlackBerry, you can retain this stuff.' ''
Gunn says that he's not trying to assassinate her character, but that she annoyed the director and the entire crew.
"I learned from teaching to stick with the topic, I don't get involved in character appraisals," Gunn explained. "I'd just ask her 'do you want to share with me why you're always on your phone?' At one point the director leaned in and whispered to me, 'this is day in, day out, my life.' She annoyed the entire crew."

Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU, Tim. What an annoying little brat this privileged girl is. Maybe I'm not the most thankful around, but god darnit it all, if I got to be on some kind of TV show, even one as frivolous and dull as Gossip Girl, I'd be plenty thankful, because that is so many people's DREAM. Taylor needs to stop taking it for advantage.

Also, if she would like to go buy a pair of PANTS, I'd be happy to go with her and help pick them out.

In Defense of "Running Wilde"

First, update: I will probably be attending the Hitrecord.org Fall Formal!! Yay! Expect pictures, video, amazing-ness, etc. to follow.

Now, last night was a big night in my house, TV-wise. Glee had its season premiere (which I really liked, by the way -- hopefully that means that Glee will be way better this season! SAM "BIG MOUTH" IS ONE OF MY NEW FAVORITE CHARACTERS OKAY) and Running Wilde had its series premiere.

I'd been hearing for a long time that Running Wilde was absolute dreck, so I was expecting the worse. It made me sad to have to do this, since Arrested Development is my favorite show ever and Will Arnett is amazing, but the opinions of others easily influence mine.

Thankfully, I was pleasantly surprised. Wilde was not nearly as awful as it was cracked up to be. The premise, that Steve Wilde is a rich jerkface trying to get his ex-girlfriend, who is an environmental jerkface, to love him again, is a little stupid and bland. But Will Arnett essentially plays GOB, which is always welcome, and Peter Serawhateverwiz was quite humorous as well. Keri Russell is extremely questionable casting, and I hated her character, but whatever, I'm not watching for her. Puddle's narration was irritating but I liked her and Steve together. I also enjoyed watching her eat leaves. :|

The thing is, people are still putting Running Wilde down. Their reasoning is largely that "it's not AD." Well, of course not! That circumstances that surrounded that show were so perfect, it's nearly impossible to replicate them. It's a different time that we live in now, and I don't know if AD Pt. 2 can ever exist. The closest comparison is Modern Family, but even that is completely different. Running Wilde might have GOB, Tobias, and Mitch Hurwitz, but I think comparisons should end there. It's hard to have to constantly live up to your first and absolute best creation, so we need to give poor Mitch a break. Imagine the pressure.

So I suggest we give Running Wilde a chance. It definitely was NOT perfect, as a lot of the material did fall flat, but it could get better.

I give Running Wilde #1.1 "Pilot" 3 extremely small, extremely expensive ponies out of 5.

Allegra in "The Case of the Really Cool Show That She Will Obsess About Going to For Many, Many Weeks Until She Ends Up Not Even Going"

So as you may or may not know, Joseph Gordon-Levitt (star of Inception, 500 Days of Summer, Brick, etc.) is one of my favorite people. 25% of the reason for this is due to his ability to make hilarious facial expressions (as seen in my avatar), another 25% is due to his acting ability, and the remaining half is because he seems like a really nice, creative, sincere guy.

He runs a cool site called hitrecord.org (sort of rhyme-y) where people can collaborate with each other to make videos. I'm not a part of this site because I just don't participate in things. But I support it as much as I can! (Which, admittedly, is not too much. But I'm telling you about it right now, aren't I?) And one way we can all support it is by attending the surely-to-be-amazing HITRECORD.ORG FALL FORMAL, on October 28th.



HOW AMAZING DOES THAT SOUND? Very. It sounds like a heckuva lot of fun, plus you get to be in the same airspace as JGL and potentially several other really cool famous people. I want to buy a ticket SO BADLY. But guess how much they cost? $50.

If you know me in person, which you probably do, then you know I'm a big miser. I have so much money saved I could probably go buy about 3 PS3s right now and still have money left over. So obviously I have $50. But I'm so committed to not spending my money that I don't know how I'll ever be able to buy a ticket.

Please, someone coerce me. I really want to go. REALLY BADLY. For once in my life I should go to an event that I want to go to without letting money or something else get in the way.

Will Allegra ever make it to the Hitrecord.org Fall Formal, hosted by Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Find out in the next installment of Fonzie Was Six Four!

...or not. Maybe.

Happy Birthday, Super Mario Bros.!

Today is the 25th anniversary of the Japanese (a.k.a. very first) release of Super Mario Bros. on the NES. There are video games before Mario, and video games after Mario. 25 years ago was the day when video games became what we know them to be today: mass market-appealing, well-designed, FUN games.

That being said, I was never a big fan of the traditional Mario games. I had Super Mario Advance; couldn't stand it. UGH, it was hard. I never liked Super Mario 64. SORRY. I did like Super Mario Sunshine though! Although I didn't think it was very good. However, I own and LOVE Super Mario Galaxy, and I love a ton of the spin-offs, too: Mario Tennis, Mario Kart (64, Double Dash!!, and Wii), Mario Party (1, 2, 4) and then things like Super Smash Bros. and the like. (I also own New Super Mario Bros. Wii and I kind of don't like it that much. Although it is fun.)

But even though I'm not the biggest Super Mario fan, it's safe to say that I wouldn't be playing games today without it. So thanks, Super Mario Bros.!

Leonardo "Jesus" DiCaprio, Jr.

Leo: "lulz dis is purdy darn hilarious"

This article is hilarious. Please, read it with me.

Leonardo DiCaprio has been granted a three-year restraining order from a woman he said claims to be his wife an carrying his child. A Los Angeles judge ordered on Friday that Livia Bistriceanu stay 100 yards from the 'Departed' actor.

DiCaprio's request included statements from the actor and his security team claiming Bistriceanu, who has been placed on a psychological hold twice, had traveled from Chicago to Los Angeles at least twice to try to meet DiCaprio at his home and business office. She refused to leave the properties and acted aggressively, the court filings state.
The Academy Award-nominated actor did not attend Fridays' hearing. He wrote in court filings that she "has evidenced a willingness to make physical contact with me regardless of the consequences."

Please, bear with me. I know this all sounds incredibly strange. But you haven't yet read the last paragraph! In all honesty, I have read a ton of classic novels, played excellent games to their completion, listened to the last song on a fantastic album, but few things can really top this for me.

DiCaprio said he has never met Bistriceanu, but she has sent him numerous handwritten letters. One letter included the greeting, "Dear husband Leo," and contained statements that Bistriceanu believed DiCaprio was the father of baby Jesus.

Leo is the father of baby Jesus. Really, what can beat that? That's how the article ENDS. That's it. That is all. I nominate this for a Best Writing for a Comedy Article at whatever awards show even gives out that award.

Not only that, but this deranged psychopath called Leo her "husband." Poor, poor Leo. That must be tough. Having people want to, I dunno, be married to you. Come here, Joseph 'Nardo. Let me make it all better for you by patting your extremely round head. Don't worry. The crazy lady who thinks you gave birth to Jesus is gone now. It's okay.

Be-are-be, laughing my not quite as round head off.

"Keep doing what you're doing," James Franco

I don't have school tomorrow and Friday, yay.

Even so, I'm too lazy to write a long-winded post per usual. So instead, here's a link to a hilarious story about a world without people - people who aren't James Franco, anyway.

This kind of satire/humorous fiction is one that I myself have wanted to write (remember the Biebs story that never made it here? yeah). But unlike me, Benjamin Percy (bold = emphasis) has managed to actually complete his story.

You can read the James Franco-abundant story here.

Laborin' on That There "No Laborin' Day"

Please press play. This song is the non-sensical and largely irrelevant soundtrack to this post. Also, I just stinking love this song. This is, in my opinion, THE best Killers song. "Read My Mind" is even better than "Mr. Brightside." Yes, it is.

So a couple of similarly irrelevant things:

• I got a new iPod! YAY! It's a 16GB Product Red nano. One of the older ones, thank you very much. Those new ones are ugly as sin.
• School starts tomorrow and I am STILL doing homework. I haven't put any of my stuff together, either. And, like, oh my gawd, you guys! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO WEAR! This is veering into cutting it dangerously close. I may be doomed. Tell me I am not doomed. This is supposed to be my senior year and I have never been this unprepared ever. Perhaps there is a correlation! 

(Click for bigger.) Uh-oh.

Look! I am continuing to procrastinate by writing this largely sans-point post! Sacre bleu! What is going on here? What is happening to me? Why am I incapable of staying on task? Must...complete...Spanish homework...without...posting clips of high school related things okay I am totally going to post clips of high school related things god I hate everything

HIGH SCHOOL RELATED THINGS!:

Ferris Bueller's Day Off is easily my favorite high school movie ever. It's also one of my favorite movies ever, period.



We've been watching Freaks and Geeks on IFC all summer. It's amazing. Here's the best part from the episode they showed on Friday. (The Spanish subtitles are unintentionally helping me sweat even more vigorously and worry even more about my still incomplete Spanish homework!)




Rushmore is another movie that is awesome. Doesn't Jason Schwartzman look like a completely different person now? HE REALLY DOES. Don't you dare disagree with me! You know I can't defend my opinions!



Okay, I think that's enough. You've probably had to listen to "Read My Mind" three times now. Not that  that's a problem, of course! I'd recommend you listen to it about 7 more times before you force yourself to turn if off so you can go do your evil Spanish homework.

Wish me luck at school tomorrow, similarly school-bound readers and confused but sympathetic parents! Be seeing you!

No Translation Necessary

(Blogger seems to have added a couple of random new features: Define/Translate and Add Location. Weird.)

I'm in a horrible mood for a number of reasons. 1. It's hot. 2. My back hurts, as always. 3. School starts in less than a week now. 4. I LOST MY iPOD. I don't even know how that happened! I didn't even GO ANYWHERE. I think Apple magnetically recalled it back to its original manufacturer so that I would have to buy a new iPod, because those were conveniently revealed yesterday. Too bad the new nanos are ugly as sin and the new Touches are outrageously priced.

Ugh. I hope I can go to the Apple Store soon and convince them to sell me one of their 4th or 5th gen Product Red nanos.

Anyway, because of school I'm probably looking at only writing about 10 new posts a month. 15 at the most. Thankfully, I have a brand new Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis to tide you over until the next time I post! This one has Sean Penn in it and is guest-hosted by Zach's "twin brother" Seth.

Enjoy or get out.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn from Between Two Ferns