Could I Be Galifianakis'd Next? Please?

I'm sure you already are aware of my love for Between Two Ferns With Zach Galifianakis, and just Zachy G. in general, yes?

So obviously I found this video immensely amusing:



Gordon Keith has a blog that is far more popular than mine and has also interviewed Will Arnett. This is all we really need to know. I enjoy most about this video how Zach G. really seems stumped, confused, and even put off by this interview. The master of uncomfortable interviewing has the tables turned! And he LOSES! For all interviews are a competition, of course.

So, please watch and enjoy Zach squirm as he is wonderfully asked the awkward questions by Mr. Gordon Keith. I'd link you to his blog but I don't know the URL. Tee-hee. Sorry!

No Translation Necessary

(Blogger seems to have added a couple of random new features: Define/Translate and Add Location. Weird.)

I'm in a horrible mood for a number of reasons. 1. It's hot. 2. My back hurts, as always. 3. School starts in less than a week now. 4. I LOST MY iPOD. I don't even know how that happened! I didn't even GO ANYWHERE. I think Apple magnetically recalled it back to its original manufacturer so that I would have to buy a new iPod, because those were conveniently revealed yesterday. Too bad the new nanos are ugly as sin and the new Touches are outrageously priced.

Ugh. I hope I can go to the Apple Store soon and convince them to sell me one of their 4th or 5th gen Product Red nanos.

Anyway, because of school I'm probably looking at only writing about 10 new posts a month. 15 at the most. Thankfully, I have a brand new Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis to tide you over until the next time I post! This one has Sean Penn in it and is guest-hosted by Zach's "twin brother" Seth.

Enjoy or get out.

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Sean Penn from Between Two Ferns

Relevant Things Going On in My Life Right Now #2

Me cosplaying as Captain Willard from Apocalypse Now. LOLOLOL (That's not funny, is it?)

It seems like every time I want to write these things, I'm watching something on MTV. This time, it's True Life: I Hate My Face. Ladies, don't worry, you're not alone; I hate your faces too!

So, that aside:

• MTV Movie Awards: I saw them yesterday, and then again today (not by choice the second time!) They weren't that good, at all. Predictably, Twilight swept everything. Pretty lame. Trying to think of funny moments right now and failing really hard. Oh, actually, no, Aziz Ansari was surprisingly funny; I liked his Human Giant skit and the one with Zach Galifianakis. He was teaching Zachy G. how to have "swagga." It was as funny as it sounds. The opening with Les Grossman (from the stinking 2-year-old Tropic Thunder, I mean, come on guys, he's funny, but why are you bringing him back now? So random) was pretty funny. Michael Cera bookends. Yep.
• Apocalypse Now: Just saw the end today. It was a pretty excellent movie, aside from the fact that I had no clue what was going on half the time. But that's what happens when you watch it over a period of a week. You know. "THE HORROR, THE HORROR!" Why is "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" such a popular line? Really. But I did love that character, even though he really wasn't that important in the long run. And --spoiler-- who ever thought that Lance would be the only one in Martin Sheen's party left? NOT I STEVE CARELL
• The Hard Times of RJ Berger hatred: Okay. So. You should probably know me well enough to know that I kind of HATE a lot of things. Sometimes I just make assumptions. Usually, though, my assumptions are OVER 9000% CORRECT. This is one of those times. RJ Berger is some little demon that reared its ugly little head in some MTV/Viacom office saying "PUT ME ON TELEVISION OR I WILL KILL EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU AND MAYBE ALL OF YOUR SHETLAND PONIES TOO." We all know how much Viacom employees love their complimentary Viacom Corp. Shetland ponies, so they, begrudgingly, obeyed Mr. Berger's commands and gave him his horrible show. Okay, so, back to the assumption thing: I kind of haven't seen the whole show yet. But really, if you saw the commercials, you'd know - it's not necessary for me to see it to know that it sucks. I MEAN. COME ON. RJ is supposed to be 15 and HE LOOKS CORY MONTEITH-AGED. Man, it's just not okay. After it premiered on Sunday, I checked the Internetz and saw that most people above the age of 14 called it crud. I also found out that it was a lot more...um...yeah, just read this: http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-hard-times-of-rj-berger-pilot,41841/
• Old video game commercials: Okay, these aren't that old, but remember now: I'm young and stuff. There's the Kirby! Nightmare in Dreamland one that has that song that everyone who was worth my time (oh snizz oh snizz) knew all the words to back in, like, fourth grade; then there's the Super Smash Bros. one from all the way back in the 90s. That one's one of the GREATEST. EVER. It's even greater than my cat. And my cat is pretty darn great. (ETA: Upon further consideration, I have decided that my cat is still greater than this commercial.) Oh! Then there's the Pokemon Red and Blue commercial. Guess who's in it? DRAKE BELL. Gasp! Giggle! Squee! Here's another one that's actually really depressing for a commercial trying to sell you two really expensive kids' games. Man, Nintendo had the best commercials back in the day. Now? Meh.
• E3 excitement: OH MY GOD IT STARTS NEXT TUESDAY GAIZ. I am SOSOSOSOSOSO excited. I think this year's going to be AWESOME BEYOND BELIEF LIKE TOTALLY FERRLZ. I probably shouldn't hype it so much BUT IT'S HARD NOT TO, MAN! Last year it was really early, and I had Study Hall 9th period so I left school early to go watch the press conferences. Now it's during my Finals week, so I come home even EARLIER! :D ...but then I have to study. But PSH THAT CAN WAIT. Plus, on the last day I don't have any tests. I might have to be resuscitated, guys. Be on hand.
• Glee season finale: This season was insanely long. Insanely. Scarily, even. The thing is, it wasn't really any longer than the average season, number of episodes-wise. It just lasted the ENTIRE SCHOOL YEAR. It was crazed. This episode had a lot of problems; it felt completely like a different show. Refer to this annoyingly positive but still pretty on-the-nose review: http://www.avclub.com/articles/journey,41944/ Here's the single-greatest moment from not just the episode, but also probably the season (next to Kurt's "Rose's Turn" and that sweet moment with him and his dad and Finn); it's Jonathan Groff singing "Bohemian Rhapsody!" 

Remember That SNL Post From A Week Ago?

Yeah, well, I hadn't seen this yet: ZACH GALIFIANAKIS HOSTING. Zach G. is my rock. He is my sovereign. He is my bearded guidance. He is my EVERYTHING.

Well, not really. But I think he's hilarious, and that's more than I can say for most people. Seriously, Between Two Ferns is required viewing for readers of this blog. I knew he was hosting but then I forgot because, well, it's Saturday Night Live and it sucks.

But today I came home with a migraine so I decided, what the heck, let's watch something on Hulu. Originally I was going to watch Gabba Gabba Rey!, who hosted last Saturday, but then I saw a beard with Zach G.'s eyes above it, staring at me, and I had to watch.

HERE ARE THE HIGHLIGHTS, BECAUSE YOU DESERVE THEM!

OHEMGEEEEE DYING HERE. Bullet points!

• "It's great to be back hosting Saturday Night Live..."
• "Putting on chapstick daintily"
• "Homeless professor;" "Vice President of Ultimate Frisbee;" "Alpaca message boards"
• "I live in Brooklyn...and I hate it." I guess a lot of hipsters are in the audience.
• "Excuse me, I've been in Canada...opening up for Miles Davis. Kilometers Davis."
• "I like dark comedies; that's why I like the Wayans Bros." I cracked up at that one. That is just bad. Love it.
• "I went to my high school reunion awhile ago, and it was very weird because I was home schooled...and why I rented that limousine, I have no idea."
• "That is so Raven." He uses that joke a lot, but it's still funny.
• He doesn't really have a blog :(
• "Hoobastank is here!" Hoobastank. Haven't heard that name in awhile. Not since the last Singstar party. Oh, Singstar.

Digital short, so of course it's awesome. I think if Zach Galifianakis crashed the set of some show that I was watching, I'd freak out due to fear and amazement. Dude, if Zach G. crashed The Tyra Show or something horrible like that, I would love it. I would die. And then Tyra would bring me back to life so she can hold onto each and every viewer she has with those disgusting Tyra-fingers of hers and then I would die again.

Zach G. AND Vampire Weekend?! Seriously, why did I not watch this live? Contra stuff isn't that good live but the band is too adorable for it to be a big deal. I love Ezra's new hair, and did he grow five inches? Because he is usually not that tall. And Rostam has this weird way of dragging his feet while he plays guitar that I can totally relate to because I can't dance/stand up like a normal person, either. During the bridge, Ezra was watching him with the intent of a love-stricken bachelor. He, too, was enamored by his band mate's oddness. Oh, and I picked their "Cousins" performance over "Giving Up the Gun" because "Cousins" is a way stinking better song. I could go on and on and on and on about this but I'll stop geeking out now and move on.

PAUL RUDD TOO? And Frank Rich, whose presence/existence I find hysterical because he has the same name as my dad except backwards?! WHAT IS THIS? WHY DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS? This sketch was not particularly funny other than Paul Rudd's being there and Kenan calling Frank Rich "sexy and sinister" and his "wut" face afterwards, but that "What's Up With That" song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Zach's outfit was great and I liked Jason Sudeikis', too. And his dancing! We dance similarly, except his dancing is actually SOMEWHAT DECENT. Yeah, I'm feeling self-conscious about my dancing today. Isn't that random?

Whatever, here's "Giving Up the Gun." I have to post it for Rostam's Michael Jackson faces. He looks like Michael Jackson! And why did Chris Tom change his shirt? ...Can I have his old one? Oh, and Chris Baio's footwork is cool. Am I the only one who sees a slight resemblance between Ezra and Devon Werkheiser?

Oh, dear.

Well, that was awesome. I think I feel a little better now. Thank you, Zach Galifianakis. You may look like Marijuana Santa Claus, but to me, you're...well, yeah, I don't know, I guess you're just Marijuana Santa Claus.

Go watch Between Two Ferns now while I watch the Gabba Gabba Rey! episode. Bye.