Thought: Last night, Christina Aguilera, who, if I may comment, and I may because there are no rules here, this isn't Fight Club, although it would be cool if it was, except I wouldn't have lasted this long, I would probably be like Jared Leto's character and Edward Norton would take his anger out on me because Brad Pitt had a crush on me and then I would be disfigured and scary-looking, looked like her face had been stretched out completely, sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl. It was terrible. (I heard it playing in the other room and wondered if our neighbors' cat was being murdered or something.) Xtina screwed up some of the words, and that's...yeah. Bad.
Of course, I don't even know the words myself but I assume you're expected to know what you're singing before you go out and sing it? Maybe they just saw Christina and her melting stretchy face in the stands and said, "Oh my god! Christian Aguilera! Even though she's totally irrelevant she's like the most famous singer here! Let's have her sing the Anthem! Maybe people won't be able to tell that it's her and not Lady Gaga, who kind of looks like her! Man, this is genius! I smell a bonus! I think? Or is that a hot dog?" and that's why she sucked so hard.
Personally I'm not offended when people screw up the Anthem. I don't understand why we need to sing it at all our sports games. I guess the majority of the people watching sports are from middle America where you're shot if you don't greet people by yelling, "HECK YEAH, AMERICA!" and smacking them on the butt in a totally non-homosexual way. (Note: I'm a naive, over-generalizing East Coaster. Duh.) Also, why is the "Star-Spangled Banner" the Anthem? I think "America the Beautiful" and even "God Bless America" are better songs, objectively, although I don't think it's a good idea to have a Christian-themed anthem. And why the crud do we need so many patriotic songs, anyway? I get it, really: the USA is pretty spiffy or whatever. I'm not down on it. We have the best cable channels, after all. But I think instead of singing these really boring and stupid America songs before games we should just be given ice cream in red, white, and blue cups. I love ice cream, and so does every other patriotic person; eating ice cream should only reaffirm our patriotism, then. HECK YEAH, ICE CREAM! IN AMERICA!
Thought: After the Super Bowl I screamed at my dad for half an hour, "IS GLEE ON YET? IS GLEE ON YET? HELLO? CAN YOU GET ME SOME ICE CREAM? OH, AND IS GLEE ON YET?" Yes, I scream in CAPITAL LETTERS GRRR. You see, Glee was the post-Super Bowl show this year. Was it The Office last year or two years ago? Because that was the last show that I cared about that aired after the game. I have low expectations for Glee, since it's one of the most infuriatingly overrated things in the history of infuriatingly overrated, a canon that also boasts U2 and Twilight. Last night's episode probably met my expectations: it was boring, the characters were either not there or acting strange (since when has Chord Overstreet a.k.a. "Sam" been so terrible? That broke my cold, dark little heart), but at least the songs were mostly good and it was kind of funny. The best song for me was not the overhyped "Thriller"/"Heads Will Roll" mash-up ("Heads Will Roll" was so underused! But I loved when one of the football players asked who the Yeah Yeah Yeah's are), but the random and unnecessary a capella cover of "Bills, Bills, Bills" by Blaine and his gang of the Gay-Friendly Non-Gays, Featuring Ex-Glee Member Kurt. So good, yet so, so, so pointless.
As he was singing and dancing and being generally enviable and awesome and talented and my future best friend-like, I realized that Blaine is not doing his whole singing and dancing act for the guys. He's doing it, it seems, for the ladies. Blaine is supposed to be gay but I don't get that vibe from him, maybe because his actor Darren Criss is straight and not able to communicate otherwise well. Maybe I'm being stereotypical, but I don't think it's about stereotypes; despite the fact that they're setting up Blaine and Kurt's future relationship they really have no chemistry whatsoever. In fact, maybe Blaine is asexual; he just does not give off the sense that he's ever had romantic interest in anyone, neither female nor male. I don't know if it's the writing or what. He just exists to sing and dance and all of the girls swoon when he does.
I like Blaine a lot but he just is this sexless being. I actually respect that about him, because most people his/my age play up their sexuality in a really obnoxious way, although that's not as true for gay people, I guess. What I don't like is that he's supposed to be some role model for all of the gay boys that watch; they either have Kurt, who is flamboyant and kind of terrible, actually, and just embodies every stereotype ever, or they have Blaine, who must hide his homosexuality really darn well or something despite attending his charming all-boys school, or "Tolerance Narnia," as the AV Club hilariously puts it. I guess I don't have to care this much but if I didn't I wouldn't be me!...
Thought: ...Although that probably wouldn't be a bad thing. (Haha, us teenagers are just so self-deprecating and down on ourselves, it's adorable.)
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