Too Good to Be True

My titles are getting blander by the day, although I did like my title yesterday. It actually made -some- sense to the content! This title does, too, but it's just really boring, is all.

Here is an excellent and hilarious article from Total Film: "How to Reboot Star Wars." Everyone knows how crazy the fans can be about this kind of stuff, but the choices made in this article for writer and even cast are pretty awesome. Christopher Nolan and J.J. Abrams writing = yes! Christian Bale as Chewbacca = brilliance! He looks a lot like a Wookie to me, you know? It's the facial hair. I like his reasoning: "I've never played a Wookie before!" Also I like how Jude Law replaces Michael Caine in the C3PO suit and also the implications behind C3P0 being a double-agent.

While I'm personally against a remake being made of one of my favorite movies, as well as probably the most iconic movie ever, the prequel movie that they were talking about WOULD be insane and amazing, especially if it mostly focused on that one new guy and Han Solo and Chewbacca's CRAZZZZY times in the Millennium Falcon. Star Wars: Reign of the Emperor. I would go for that. The article kind of made me really excited for it, too.

I wonder what George Lucas thinks. The sad thing is, if he read this article and was inspired by it, the movie that he'd make in reality would probably be crud. I think the reason that the movies turned out so awesome in this little ARTICLE FROM THE FUTURE!!!! was because Lucas didn't write them or direct them. Brother's lost his touch.

So. I've never anticipated something that doesn't even exist this much. ET TU, BRUTE? How excited would you be for a Star Wars prequel?

Sticking To That Creepy Guy's Guns

Last week when I was at the library (the very same library from which I borrowed A Gate to the Stairs and Brick, along with Bonnie and Clyde and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; hope I get around to watching those before they're due) I used the schwanky computer lab to look up books. In front of me was this very large, old guy with a gigantic tattoo on his leg. Guess what he was doing? He was researching guns. Handguns, pistols, rifles. Not only was he looking for pictures and information about them, he was also looking at places to buy them from. Needless to say, I was thoroughly creeped out.

If you're wondering what that preface has to do with anything, well, truth is, it doesn't. I just have virtually nothing to say. Life is  pretty dull around these parts. I did manage to convince my cat to sleep on my bed, though. It's adorable. HE'S SO WARM AND ADORABLE OH EM GEE.

The most noteworthy thing I've done so far is think a lot about Digimon. This happens periodically. That's what you get when you stay indoors your whole life! Someone started a thread on NeoGAF about that horrible game that I hated on the PS1, Digimon World. I rented that game once from Blockbuster and it was just so confusing. Also, we didn't have a PS1 memory card so we always had to start all stinking' over. I hated that. If you read the thread you'll hear them griping about how their Agumons digivolved into Poomon. That was because the game was idiotic and you couldn't digivolve into the Digimon you were SUPPOSED to. I mean, who does that? Bandai liked to torture children, apparently. Awful.

Anyway, it got me thinking - man, how awesome would it be if they had a JRPG where you played as Takato and it was basically just the entire plot of Tamers (the 3rd season)? That would be an EXCELLENT game. Tamers was one of the best anime that I've ever seen (I've come to consider the different seasons like different series; same with Pokemon, but let's not talk about that right now). I need to get it on DVD. Too bad it's so darn expensive because it was only released in limited edition sets.

This is going slightly off-topic, but it always makes me sad when people say, "LOL HEY REMEMBER WHEN WE LIKED DIGIMON?! YEAH THAT SHOW WAS AWESOME LAWL WELL WHATEVAH BACK TO JERSEY SHORE." Why can't you -still- like Digimon? I mean, you're not actively watching it anymore, but still. It hasn't changed. It also bothers me when people say the opposite and are like, "UGH YOU LIKE DIGIMON? THAT SHOW WAS FER LOSERS MAN WTF GROW UP BRB BUYING KEGGER FOR RAGING KEG PARTY ANOCHE BRUH." Maybe I'm just a misanthrope (okay, not "maybe") and maybe I just don't want to grow up, but Digimon and Pokemon and even stinking Sailor Moon are better than the majority of the things people my age like to do in their spare time.

I like to say that we spend the majority of our lives as adults, so why should we grow up NOW? And why do we have to devolve (IMO) from liking completely fine, normal things like Mario Party 4 to driving around to some coffee shop while blasting whatever awful music they're playing on Z100, then stopping by LuAnn Herschfeld's "awesome" party where no one can even hear each other over the underage drunkards playing Beer Pong and the girls grinding and the music blaring? This is slightly more descriptive than necessary, isn't it?

I understand that people change, but maybe I don't want to accept that. Maybe I don't want to move on from liking to rant about how bad Digimon World was on the PS1 and maybe I don't want to stop hyping the latest Pokemon games. But the alternatives aren't any better, anyway. Perhaps there isn't anything even wrong with liking to talk about Pokemon and Digimon. Maybe I shouldn't feel so stupid and "immature" for talking about Pokemon and Digimon OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN in these last gigantic paragraphs.

Why do we have to grow up? And why does growing up have to mean THIS? That may be an extreme case, but then again, is it? It's something to think about.

What to expect for tomorrow: me struggling yet again to post something. Or maybe not.

P.S. I was totally about to start ranting about my hatred of Taylor Momsen but I think that's enough for today.

Taking Interest

Okay, so my day has gone from being really lackluster to really bad. THANK YOU BLOGGER. It's your fault.

I tried to post this dumb video that I edited of the Bohemian Rhapsody sequence from Glee with the actual song edited into it. But the "server" "rejected" it. I'm not sure why. It's incredibly irritating.

So what the heck else am I supposed to talk about? I've done literally nothing all day long. Haven't left my room, for example. The most interesting thing that's happened to me today was reading some Pokemon Black/White news. So what? Should I just regurgitate that? I really would rather not.

This is why I despise the summer. There's nothing good about it. Especially THIS summer. I mean, look at the movies that have come out! Almost all of them suck! Inception's coming out on Friday but I'm still not wholly convinced that it will make this summer any less intolerable!

Please, console me and give me reasons as to why this isn't one of the worst summers of my life. And don't give me Intervention or Work of Art! Because I know you don't even care about those as much as I do. NOBODY DOES SOB DRAMATIC SILENCE.

Bad Breaking? Break Badding?

NO. BREAKING BAD. GOSH.

Sorry, there's something wrong with me, I think. But I watched the first episode of EMMY AWARD-WINNING Breaking Bad today. Not only was it one of the longest TV pilots I've ever watched (almost an hour long, and I mean an actual hour) but it was also one of the better ones.

I think I made it clear in my frightening Emmy Noms rant a few days ago that I'm not the biggest fan of dramas, but being someone who loves characters, I can occasionally get sucked into a really good one. (See: Dexter, that episode of Friday Night Lights, and heck, I've been known to watch House/Mad Men marathons if the need arises.) Breaking Bad is a really good one.

I'm not good at describing things, but I'll try. Walter White is a chemistry teacher with a super young wife and a son with cerebral palsy. Walter White is 50 years old and has to work two jobs to support his family (the other job is at a Car Wash run by a comically bushy-eyebrow'd guy). Walter White just found out he has inoperable lung cancer. Comedy ensues? Well, yes, sort of. After learning from his brother-in-law, a DEA agent, about the kind of awesome money that meth lab owners (is that what they call them?) make, Walt becomes fixated on them, soon convincing himself that this is what he should be doing. This is how he should be supporting his family. Once he finds out his former student, wannabe gangsta Jesse, is well-known for selling meth, Walt basically forces him into becoming his partner.

While Walter's change is dramatic and his prognosis sad (you know how the show's going to end, basically - he'll die), seeing him go from this meek teacher to a tough guy who beats up people who mock his son and kills meth dealers to save himself is kind of cool and occasionally funny (he wears nothing but his tighty whities when making meth). However, it remains believable because while Walt may become this seemingly heartless killing machine, when he kills the meth dealers at the end of the Pilot, you see him freak out, sobbing, thinking that he's going to go to jail. Instead of having some Jack Bauer-esque killer who just gets it done, emotionless, Walt has emotions, and a family, and it makes him a really strong main character.

If you're like me and you've been hearing constantly that Breaking Bad is one of, if not THE best show on TV, then I suggest you check it out. Amazon has the first episode up in glorious video quality for FREE. That Emmy that Bryan Cranston is definitely going to be winning in August is well-deserved.

Books Are Relevant, Too.

Today I finished a book. I love finishing books. I treat finishing a book the way other people treat getting a Trophy in a PS3 game, earning an Achievement on the 360. I love the feeling and it makes me want more.

So, here's my Goodreads-HTML-provided, very short review of the book I read today. I suggest you check the book out. It's excellent.

A Gate at the Stairs by Lorrie Moore

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The negative reviews this book seems to be getting on this site both shock and sadden me. I loved this book from beginning to end. Maybe I'm more welcoming of "Lifetime movie adoption plots" and perhaps I'm too young to completely understand the toll that 9/11 did on the lives of -real- college students during that time period. But I loved this book, a lot.

View all my reviews >>

Buy A Gate to the Stairs here.

"Throw one at me if you want, hash head. I've got all five senses and I slept last night, that puts me six up on the lot of you."

I just watched Brick with Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Well, I mean, not with him, although that would be cool. He stars in it, I mean.

It's this neo-noir film; that's what I'd call it. Anyone who's seen a film noir should know what I mean when I say that it was so unrealistic that it didn't even matter anymore, because the dialogue was so snappy. Snappy!

Brick is about teenage detective Brendan, although he's not the kind of teenage detective you would think. He's no Shinichi Kudo. Although that would be awesome. Anyway, Brendan, being the hyper-intelligent teen he so happens to be, takes it upon himself to solve the mystery of who killed his ex-girlfriend.

While I'd seen the last half an hour or so before, I thought it was necessary to see the movie from the beginning. And it was. Everything made sense. Everything paid off nicely. Certain parts that may have seemed unnecessary came back to prove their importance. Lines that made little sense to my actually teen-aged ears ended up making a lot more sense later on. I liked that a lot.

I found myself liking the movie more and more as it went on. At the beginning, I actively disliked it; it was completely unbelievable, Emily (the dead ex) was INCREDIBLY irritating (hate on me for saying this but thank goodness she died at the beginning, even though the circumstances and reasoning were horrible), and the acting of some of the characters (Laura at first and OH MY GOD DODE UGH) was awful and hard to bear. But JGL really sold it. He inhabited that character and he made the movie that much more enjoyable. Once we had a likable, believable main character (although his characterization was slightly confusing; was he cold? Did he love too much? Was he a smart aleck? It was hard to tell) everything fell into place.

The movie, despite its extreme violence (the body count was quite possibly in the double digits; remember, these are high school kids), had some hilarious moments. Kara and the Pin were particularly hilarious. The Pin was our main antagonist, but when you saw him eating a cookie at the breakfast table with Brendan and kissing his mom, sitting on the beach talking about his love for The Hobbit, he was hard not to love. Kara's character was largely pointless but she was so full of herself and fake, dishing out freshmen at every moment who were at her beck and call for everything, I had to laugh. Especially with her Kabuki makeup on.

Brendan's best friend, the Brain, didn't get to do too much on camera, but with his little jacket and his thick glasses, he ended up being one of my favorite characters. He was the loyal best friend we all want to have.

This movie is both extremely violent and very sad, with some funnier moments. JGL pulls in his best performance in any movie not called 500 Days of Summer (even if you didn't like that movie, which thanks to its obnoxious teenage fanbase you very well might not, you have to agree he was good). Well, actually, I haven't seen Mysterious Skin yet. That's supposed to be good. But Manic wasn't worth it (he wasn't, but it's hard to call his performance great when that movie was just so not good), so the award goes to this. The story is fun to follow and while it's not something you can watch mindlessly it won't hit you over the head too much so it's pretty easy to get. Crazy film noir dialogue aside, of course.

Brick gets 4 JGLs running away at insane speeds from "The Lug" out of 5.

This Post Was Hijacked By the ATAS

ATAS = Academy of Television Arts and Sciences.

I was going to try to write a review of Work of Art, but I realized a few things. 1. I am so tired that I am beginning to hallucinate, 2. My brains are trying to crack my skull right open, 3. I just said "brains" when I should know that it can only be "brain," singular, geez, you don't have more than 1 brain, 4. the Emmy nominations are out, and 5. I'M REALLY COLD AND IT'S NOT EVEN COLD TODAY.

Let's focus on #4.

Here's the list of main nominations. If you care about things like directing, writing, and stunt coordination like I do, then you might want to go to the actual Emmy website, where they have a fancy drop-down menu of ALL the nominations.

Before I start ranting, let me just say that I rely a bit too much on awards shows like this to base my opinions on things. Awards help me affirm and tailor my tastes in television, which is pathetic, because it's television, and the most important thing should be whether it entertains you or not. Since I watch a lot of reruns and not a lot of new shows on TV (especially when it comes to dramas; I don't watch a single drama during its regular season, unless Glee counts), the Emmy Awards show is particularly useless to me. I like seeing the celebrities the best, but when you don't know or care about the majority of them, then it gets boring, especially when people from horrible shows like, um, Gary Unmarried or Friends (yeah, I HATE FRIENDS. Wanna make something of it?) get to go. I used to not watch the Emmys at all for this reason. I still love the Oscars better. But now that I watch some things that actually qualify for the 2010 Emmys as opposed to the 1990 Emmys, then I guess I have to watch it. And I have to rant at you about it. Moving on.

Okay, so, first things first. We failed, team. We failed to get Zach Gilford (if there wasn't already a Zachy G. in my life, I would surely have affectionately dubbed him that by now) the nomination he deserved (for Best Guest Actor in a Drama). Fortunately, "The Son" got a writing nod and to the excitement of FNL fans across the country the two lead actors got nominations. When I saw that both Kyle Chandler AND Connie Britton got nominated, I was happily surprised. And I'm not even completely sure who they are! (But then, who are we, anyway? Yeah, I just got all philosophical on y'all's eyeballs. ...I'll leave now.)

As I said before, I'm not much of a follower of drama, but I'm happy that Dexter got so many nominations. Hopefully it sweeps all of its acting categories like it did at the Globes. I love Michael C. Hall (who doesn't?) and I want him to get everything he deserves. I also want him to hang out with me some time. We can go see a movie together. It doesn't even need to be a good movie. Ahem, but I fully expect that Mad Men will do its obligatory "Yeah, we're cool and awesome and retro" rounds and win everything. I didn't care much for what I saw of it (which is way more than you'd think) but I really like Elisabeth Moss and everyone is so wildly obsessed with Christina Hendricks' boobs acting, so if either of them won Supporting Actress, I'd be happy, I guess.

Drama seems to be relying on the old (stale) standbys, but Comedy saw things being changed up. In Best Series we see Nurse Jackie, Modern Family, and Glee as newcomers in the race, and a show I always enjoy when I see it, Curb Your Enthusiasm, gets a nomination for the first time in what seems to be a long time (2 years is a long time, okay?!). I, like basically anyone with a functioning sense of humor, like Modern Family and Nurse Jack-ay is supposed to be good, but I'm going to be a hater and say that I really, really am tired of this Glee bandwagon that's been making its rounds to every state in the country and picking up people for a joy ride that they're brainwashed into enjoying and never allowed to get off of and required to spend lots and lots of money on and then, years later, when it's finally over, they get nothing but a sense of dread that, crud, maybe they've made the world a slightly less habitable place. This can be simplified: I HATE GLEEKS. If you call yourself a Gleek, I hate you. Go away. I'm sorry, but leave. Now. There are things I can like about Glee, as I've written about in the past; I like Kurt and I'm really glad that he got a nomination, even though his acting is generally nothing to write home about (He hopefully got nominated for Rose's-Stinking-Amazing-Turn and that whole "Home" episode in general), and I like his dad, whose name is annoyingly Burt. But Glee is not a god. If Glee is your deity of choice then WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Go watch Singin' in the Rain or something before I make your face melt* with my poorly articulated ranting!

Glee leads the stinking pack with 19 noms. Nineteen. Let's talk about something else, though. Modern Family got a lot of acting nominations, which makes me happy. GO TY BURRELL GO GO GO. The Office was largely left out, but hey, I'm not complaining. Its Series nod is unwarranted, if you ask me. "Niagara" a.k.a. "Jim and Pam's WACKY Wedding" got a writing nomination, confusing the heck out of me. I will admit, though, it was probably my favorite episode of the season. 30 Rock got lots of nominations for a season that many people felt was lackluster but I found to be quite good. I wish that Cheyenne Jackson as Jack/Danny was nominated for Guest Actor, but Will Arnett was, instead, which is definitely fine. Devin is one of the best characters. (Oh, and go J. Krak for Supporting! You won't win because of Jane Lynch, but even so.) Amy Po-Po got nom'd for Parks and Rec which she definitely deserved. I was once a P&R hater but now I find myself wishing it was recognized for more. This season was great.

Big thing that people will use to affirm some kind of nonsensical and unimportant point over the next few months: Conan's Tonight Show was nominated for Variety Series while Jay Leno was nowhere to be found. Well, duh. Hollywood loves Conan, and they feel all the more sympathetic for him now that he can't afford to come to the country club anymore. Unfortunately, he'll lose to Jon Stewart, but it's okay. At least we know he'll be there. (Also: how the heck does SNL still get nominated for these things? Is there really no other variety show to fill up the space?! That show aside, every show nominated is excellent. Colbert especially was awesome this year - I loved his Olympics coverage. So. Much.)

I think it's stupid to nominate reality shows, but there are some good ones. Like Intervention! Sadly, despite having a few of the best episodes in its entire run (Amy W., Marquel) last season, it was snubbed. However, it did win last year, and that season was probably the single greatest (Joey AND Bret were in that season, I mean, c'mon), so let's give someone else a turn. (I'm an Intervention obsessive, so apologies for my confusing babble.) In Reality-Competition we see Top Chef nominated against the newly-Lifetime'd Project Runway. I want Top Chef to win. I better get what I want. Also, why the heck was Padma not nominated for Best Host when she is a truly excellent host? Watching Top Chef recently proved that to me. She rules.

No one cares about Outstanding Animated Program anymore, but I do. The only things that anyone likes that were nominated are South Park and The Simpsons, and one of those isn't even good anymore. You can pick which one. The South Park episode(s?) nominated are the controversial Mohammed ones, so I think that just knowing about them alone will guarantee that voters will choose them. South Park is probably the only one that even deserves a win, anyway. By the way, did you know Anne Hathaway was nominated for her guest appearance on The Simpsons? How weird is that! I seriously did a double-take.

I think the nominations made a lot of people happy. Some new blood was brought in, which helps to outweigh the staleness of certain other categories. However, even categories that feature the same dang people over and over have been injected with some new life (apparently people are very happy about Matthew Fox's nomination, for instance). I read a lot of Dream Nominations yesterday and the day before (okay, not a lot, but enough) and it seems like a lot of people's "dreams" came true.

Sorry for that lame joke. Emmys are on end of August. Expect more ranting to commence the day after they air.



*Please do not hold me liable for any accidents caused by your face spontaneously melting.