Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World Mini-Review

 

After months and months and months and months and MONTHS of hype, I finally saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World yesterday. HOORAY! It's very likely that if you're reading this right now, you know exactly what Scott Pilgrim's about, so I will refrain from saying anything more than 1. the graphic novels set expectations at exceedingly high levels and 2. this movie definitely appeals to a certain "type."

But was this the type of movie for me? The answer is YES YES YES.

Here we go with bullet points:

• The casting was nearly perfect. Knives, STEPHEN STILLS (!!!), YOUNG NEIL (!!!), Stacey, and even Wallace, who I was worried the most about, were all perfect. Guess who else was awesome? Michael Cera as Scott. Haters gonna hate, but I thought he was...I'm trying not to say great because that rhymes excellent. He did not play "himself" (although if you've ever watched this kid in an interview you would know that he's not quite as awkward as you think), he played SCOTT. 
• More on that: Scott was a bit "toned down" from the comics. However, he was still the most enjoyable character to watch for me; maybe this was because he was the one who received the most characterization.
• More on THAT: Okay, so obviously this movie tried to adapt six volumes into one two-hour movie, which is a hard thing to do perfectly. And while I think a lot of the plot changes that were made helped to make it more cohesive and fit better into the allotted time, certain choices were made at the expense of character development. Biggest offenders: Kim, Ramona, Envy. Envy isn't as important, so it's okay, but up until the fight against Todd we keep hearing about how Scott dated Envy and she broke his heart and blah blah blah. But we never delve into their back story, which is the most interesting part, and when Envy shows up you think, "What? How the heck did Scott ever date this girl?" Also, she's just bland as heck and she and Scott don't have any closure or anything. She's just never mentioned again. We got an idea of who Ramona was: mysterious and distant. But that was it. You never really understand why Scott is in love with her and fighting for her. It's like he's just going with the motions. They don't have too much nice alone time, which was too bad, because the scenes where they did were amongst my favorite (their second (?) date, the Seinfeld-esque scene although Ramona technically isn't in that one). Basically, Ramona is flat. 
• The most egregious offense OR more on that AGAIN: KIM. I HATED KIM IN THIS MOVIE. Kim is one of everyone's favorite characters. She's a cynical, misanthropic jerk, but she really does care about Scott and everyone else. In the comics, she has depth. However, in this movie, Kim hates everything and everyone, especially Scott. She is never happy and she is never not being sarcastic. When she sees Scott her eye starts throbbing and that scary, dramatic music even plays. (Those screechy violins, you know.) She HATES him because he dumped her in high school, but the real Kim didn't care about that THAT much. Also, the real Kim was interesting, and that was what made me the most upset. This Kim was boring and I can't remember almost anything she said.
• I missed Joseph. He's one of my favorite characters. Thankfully, they had the guy that Wallace stole from Stacey in a number of scenes, kind of as a replacement. Although he was nowhere as awesome as Joseph.
• Let's talk about stuff I liked again, though. I LOVED the music. Sex Bob-omb were, for being self-loathing and "terrible," really good. I really liked their "Garbage Truck" song. Stephen Stills was a good singer, and Scott was a surprisingly competent bassist. I liked his "Ramona" song, too, although Ramona kind of blew it off. THAT GURL, WAI SHE GOTTA BE LIKE THAT
• The opening credits. The opening credits made my heart race. (I'm a little over-dramatic like that.) The visuals were just very, very cool. I loved the opening scene, too. I don't know, I just found it perfect. 
• The fight scenes were pretty awesome, although I think some of them went on for too long. (Most notably the first one, against Matthew Patel.) I did love that Ramona talked about her relationships with most of them via black-and-white cutscenes. I think my favorite fights were Scott vs. Lucas and maybe Scott vs. Todd. That one was hilarious, mainly because of how it ended. (I loved the Vegan police high-fiving in slow motion.) 
• More hilarity: The Ninja Revolution game, that aforementioned Seinfeld scene, Young Neil's idiocy, Knives' stalkerish tendencies, Scott and Ramona's date, etc. etc. There's a lot. (Oh, also, but this comes towards the end: "Do you know how long it took me to collect all of the Evil Exes' contact information? TWO HOURS!"
• I'm just going to mention it again: Wallace ruled.

ENDING SPOILERS HERE:

• The ending was weird and not wholly satisfying. That last fight went on forever, and what are they trying to say -- they're basically suggesting that Self-Respect > Love, which is kind of stupid and kind of a bad message. I guess they were trying to set up an ending where Scott and Ramona DON'T end up together. Instead, Scott would end up with Knives (word is that that's an alternate ending). I actually kind of like the idea of that, because I really liked Knives, as creepy as she was at times. She was a sweet girl and Scott actually had a rapport with her. However, Knives basically says, "Dude, we just spent nearly 2 hours murdering people so you could make out with this chick for a little bit. Seriously? LYK GO GET HER LOL" so then Scott has to go get her. It was pretty stupid that Ramona STILL hadn't "found what she was looking for" or whatever, instead keen on leaving behind yet another ex. Sister sure is flighty. Which ending do you like better, Scott and Ramona or Scott and Knives? (Look at me, trying in vain to initiate conversation between commentators and myself.)
• Either way, I like the ending that Bryan Lee O'Malley chose for volume 6 instead. That was more meaningful.

ENDING SPOILERS, OVER

The movie's not perfect, but it's about as good as a live action Scott Pilgrim could ever be. I really liked it. Really liked it. I think your mileage may vary, and I don't see many "older people" enjoying this as much although you never know, but it's a sort of ADD-addled film that could possibly define my generation. Although I really hope not. I hate my generation. We don't deserve a movie this fun.

I give Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World 4 Slutty Wallace's Sleeping Next to Various Guys and Scott's out of 5.

P.S. Even though I gave Inception a better score, I think I enjoyed this more than that. It's being a comedy certainly helps. But they're both great so see them!

For the other movies I saw this summer, you can read my Inception Mini-Review here and my quick post about Toy Story 3 here.

Work Of Art Finale Review

WORK OF ART #1.10 "The Big Show"

After a very long 10 weeks, Work of Art is finally over. I, and I'm sure the majority of the Internet/America/Universe, was expecting Miles to win all along and so when I sat down I wasn't expecting anything surprising. I assumed the finale would be your typical show where the guy you knew was going to win wins and you're either really happy or breaking your neighbor's car windows. What? Am I the only one who reacts like that?

So here is a recap of what happened last night in my living room during the last 5 minutes of the last episode of season 1 of Work of Art: The Next Great Artist:

China: Miles, sorry, but even though your art is better than everyone single other person's on this show, and even though I shouldn't have the authority to say this to anyone - I mean, c'mon, look at me, I can't even properly dress myself! - YOU DIDN'T WIN. HAHA. NOW GTFO.
Miles: .__.
Me and My Sister: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MILES GODDARNIT WHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS WRONG


Miles, I personally believe, was technically the most skilled. He was also the most fun to watch, the most polarizing, the one who EVERYONE had an opinion about, positive or negative. When we reminisce about this show in a few years or whatever, we will all talk about Miles. So for him not to win was a complete shock. Especially since they sent him out first!

Thankfully, our most knowledgeable or at least most critical judge Jerry Saltz has an explanation for us:

“When did Miles lose?” ...His show was all-but perfectly realized, and looked like something I might review in a respectable Lower East Side gallery. Here came the rub. Miles’ work was so up-to-date that it looked dated. This way his art lost its edge, turned in on itself; it went from being over-hung to just being overkill. As highly accomplished as his work was, it was a bit too much in a highly conceptualized, self-reflexive, intensely theorized, and familiar quasi-visual idiom. Miles had lost by winning. He got so close to a good idea of art, that the art he got close to wasn’t entirely his own. I began to understand that this had been happening all along. Indeed, it had been there in his first digital black-and-white portrait of Nao. I think Miles should move to New York and be poor and stay up late with thousands of other young artists. Then, in five years, he could be an artist to reckon with. That he lost this reality TV show will one day actually help him.

Let us hope that is true. Miles might have been a bit pretentious, a bit of a hipster, but he was overall a very good artist (if not great), and that's the most important thing. His art is very conceptual and not very emotional; that portrait of Nao, the one he did of the "homeless shelter," those were the only ones I can remember making anyone really feel anything. But he's good, darnit. I think he'll be okay.

Before we move on to who won, let me just talk about the home visits. They helped to make this episode a lot more memorable, very human, sweet; this episode could very well be my favorite. We got to see Peregrine, Abdi, and Miles in their home environments; we got to see where "the magic happens," who they are when they're in a more comfortable, less stressful and manufactured space. While I have personally been hating on Peregrine ever since that first team challenge, it was hard not to like her as she introduced our Favorite Eternally Gleeful Swiss Man Simon de Pury to her husband (a "Jazz musician and horn sculptor"). When he was playing that horn that was wrapped around her, it was not only awkward but also...okay, mostly it was awkward. But at least I didn't hate her anymore?

Peregrine's favorite part of her show was a big portrait of these two taxidermied unborn twin deer. They were precious. However, they seemed like an out-of-place "sideshow" when it came to the rest of her Carnival theme. She had cotton candy, tons of pink and orange casts of little boys' heads, ponies, etc. It was a bit too much, in my opinion. It really was all over the place. While there were some really good pieces in it (the deer and the guest judge David LaChapelle really liked her cast of a boy's head under glass), I agree with Bill: it would be better had it been edited down. It was too unruly.

Miles' house was very nice. I liked it. You know what's good about the Midwest, other than their funny accents? You can get nice homes on the cheap-ish. Miles' had a nice home that I assume was on the cheap-ish. (I feel like now is an appropriate time for me to, as always, plug the AV Club's review, which has tons of funny quips about Miles' and Abdi's home visits.) We got to see the place in which Miles' works, AKA the ga-raage. They kept pronouncing it weirdly. I liked Miles' concept a lot, but when I first saw it I was a bit skeptical about how it was turning out. His abstractions were INCREDIBLY abstract that, when I saw them in the garage, it was hard to see them the way he wanted me to.

However, his story of trying to make sense of the footage that he took of a homeless man who died a few days after the photos were taken was definitely interesting and better represented by his gallery show. The actual surveillance photos were included, which was a nice touch of realism amongst tons of Photoshopped images that had no recognizable human features in them. You could see Miles was really proud of what he did, and he should be. Even though I understand why he lost...I still can't BELIEVE it. While everyone on the Internet seems to think that Peregrine's show was the best, I really disagree. Miles' was the most coherent, even if it was the least visually compelling.

Oh, and Miles' parents had a nice house too. [/random]

Finally, we went to Abdi's house, where Abdi introduced Simon to his very nice mom that we all heard a lot about on the show. While Simon and Mrs. Abdi's Mom talked, Abdi made lots of his classic facial expressions. Someone needs to make me some .gifs of Abdi's face, because that boy has one BIG mouth that needs to be documented for all eternity. After Simon and Abdi's Mama were done blathering, Abdi brought Simon into his "cruddy" basement. I tell you, these editors became a lot better at making drama as time went on. The way this part was edited made it seem like Abdi was doing this completely horrible job - his ideas were good but his execution was awful and it was unlikely that these pieces would get better. Simon looked bewildered, confused, and I was sort of confused, too. I didn't think Abdi's pieces looked bad, but they tend not to look as good as they do in person on camera.

It was nice to see how friendly these guys were with each other. Usually in these kinds of shows, one of the final three is a "villain," or at least not liked by the other two. So it's good that Abdi, Miles, and Pere were such good friends. It was one of the things that contributed to making this episode so nice and calm. Really, it was not as climactic and intense as you'd think, except for the parts where Abdi rushes to put together his unfinished sculptures of the basketball players (that's what they were, right?). The two sculptures, when done, were laid on the floor and resembled "The Creation of Adam." That was a nice surprise, to see them turn out looking so well.

So Miles didn't win. I've established this. SO WHO DID? Those final minutes continue:

Jerry: Peregrine, gurl, you rocked it. You was fierce.
Me and My Sister: NO NOT PEREGRINE NO NO
Bill: Abdi, you da man.
Me and My Sister: ... :)
China: ABDI YOU WON YAY
Me and My Sister: NOT EXPECTING THAT BUT YESYESYESYESYESYES! ABDI WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Abdi is probably the single nicest person on television today. He was one of my favorites from the beginning, he and Miles. I thought for the longest time that his place in the Final Three would be inevitable, but as he started to falter I started to worry. So the fact that he came to win the whole thing was grand. A lot of people seem confused, but I see it this way: Abdi GREW the most. When he was good, he was REALLY good. When he was bad, he learned from those mistakes to turn it around. He was very inconsistent, but we must remember that he is also the youngest. I highly doubt there are real, successful artists out there who hit a home run every single time. Abdi was the most REAL out of the final three for this reason. He didn't play the game, creating a character (Miles) and he wasn't fake and irritating and obsessed with his quirkiness (Peregrine). In a medium that encourages you to be someone you're not, Abdi was wholly himself. And c'mon, he's just SUCH A NICE GUY. He deserved to win on that alone.

Even my mom, who had never seen an episode of the show before, was happy that Abdi won. Goes to show.

So congratulations Abdi, and I'll make sure to go see your show at the Brooklyn Museum whenever it is.

Yay, Abdi! :D

Read my reviews for Episode 4 and Episode 8.

And take your money! (Or, the Most Random Post Yet.)

The Swell Season covers Neutral Milk Hotel

I saw this on the AV Club this morning while searching for something to write. This cover is truly excellent, although the addition of "King of Carrot Flowers, Pts. 2 and 3" is a little...awkward. Mainly because that song alone is a little awkward. But whatever, that doesn't last that long! (P.S. I like "Two-Headed Boy, Pt. 2" better so you should go hear that song sometime, although Pt. 1 rules too.)

That aside - did I find something to write about? Sort of: Weezer revealed their new album cover. It's a picture of whatever Garcia's ugly face. People were joking when they heard that it was called Hurley that the cover would be a picture of Hurley from Lost's face, and unfortunately, it turns out that they did that exactly. So, for the third album in a row, the cover is AWFUL and seemingly a cruel joke. It's time I learned to stop caring about Weezer. The last time they made an album I actually liked was when I was 3 years old. I know that's cliche to say, that you don't like Weezer post-Pinkerton, but really, it's true. I find songs I like on all of their albums, but that doesn't mean I think they're comparable. (Hey, I can fit a shameless plug to an old post in right here!)


The Clientele covers M.I.A.

Here's another cover I like. Everyone knows "Paper Planes," yes? That song was probably my favorite thing about Slumdog Millionaire, which, in case you were wondering, is not nearly as good as everyone said it was. When it came out my parents both saw it somehow and insisted that my sister and I go see it because it was SO GOOD OHEMGEE. So then we saw it with our mom a few days after Christmas. I didn't like it that much, really. It's not bad or anything, just not as spectacular as everyone says. But what do I know? I saw it a day after The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and even though most people I know seem to think that movie sucks, I think I might have liked it more than Slumdog. And I mean, I don't even ever want to see it again, ever. So.

Speaking of things I don't like very much, I don't like very much that I lost that Charizard card of mine. You know, the really expensive one? It's just...gone. It makes me upset.

On an actually relevant parting note (since I need to go bury my head in shame now), here's a fanciful, helpful Pokemon "guide" that I found on Kotaku (CLICK FOR BIGGER):

Good day.

"Who wants to go to the hospital?"

No, unfortunately this post is not Arrested Development-related.

Check out this newest heart attack waiting to happen: the Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt:

Since KFC introduced the Double Down earlier this year, fast food chains are tripping over themselves to slap together as many of their limited menu items as possible. In the process they're churning out some pretty disturbing food-like substances.  

You can add the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from the Friendly's restaurant chain to the growing list of WTFood items. This monster packs 1,500 calories and 97 grams of fat, but I guess that's what happens when you sell three sandwiches as one (at least it's two-thirds vegetarian!).

Disgusting. I'm not a fan of grilled cheese sandwiches and I don't eat beef, but even so: how can anyone be expected to eat this?! How could anyone ever take their kids to Friendly's and say, "Hmm, you know what, Sharon? I think I'll get that burger that's 75% grilled cheese sandwich, because having one or the other just isn't enough!" And then Sharon says, "Whatever you say, honey, I'm just the wife, and thus I have no say on anything." Her husband replies, "You're darn right you don't have any say!" And then Sharon dies a little more inside.

Despite this sandwich's obvious grossness, I'm not sure it truly beats the former King of Oh You Silly Obese Americans And Your Silly Fattening Burgers, KFC's Double Down.

The first time I ever saw this burger, I nearly vomited. It's hard to keep myself from doing it right now, in fact. Who could eat this?! Who? It doesn't even have any semblance of actual BREAD; it's just all MEATMEATMEATMEAT (and some cheese, and some mayo).

“For your real chicken sandwich lover, you no longer have to go to a burger place for a (not as tasty) chicken sandwich. This is so meaty, there is no room for the bun,” Maynard said. The latter quip will serve as the catchphrase in an upcoming national ad campaign to announce the Double Down.

The Double Down comes either grilled or fried with KFC’s Original Recipe. The fried version has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. The grilled version has 460 calories, 23 grams of fat and 1,430 milligrams of sodium.

On the bright side, this excrement-resembling "treasure" is nowhere near as caloric and fattening as the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. The magic of chicken! Believe me, there are few people out there who love chicken as much as I do, but I still can't believe that someone would actually be willing to eat this. Look at all of that sodium! Also, I have yet to see this grilled version. I wonder how the heck that could work. The fried version at least shapes the chicken into something bread-like (although it still totally looks like something you'd find in a diaper).

Which would you rather have send you to the hospital? The Grilled Cheese Burger Melt or the Double Down?

ETA: I know I sad I was taking the whole weekend off, but then I remembered that I have nothing else to do but post on my blog (or watch America's Next Top Model marathons; I've been doing that, too).

Is This Post Early Or Late?

Either way, I should go to bed! And so should you! No, I don't care if you just woke up and it's now 11 AM. Go back to bed.  It's the summer and you have no business being awake. EVIL STARE.

Here's some random stuff:



This one's an oldie, but a goodie. It is seriously hilarious. KIDS THESE DAYS. With their being werewolves and everything.



As detailed in my last post, sort of, I'm obsessed with all things Auto-Tune the News right now, including this adorable song. It's so catchy and adorable and you just have to love it! OR ELSE.



You may or may not have heard that Arcade Fire's concert last night was streamed LIVE on YouTube. Well, it was. It was really cool! I guess flashing lights and good camera angles can make anything seem epic, but these guys are the preeminent makers of epic-sounding music today, maybe. What do I know? Anyone who saw Where the Wild Things Are knows this song, "Wake Up," from that amazing trailer that was almost better than the movie itself (and I mean, it was a good movie, so), and while the quality of this isn't so good, it's something. This was the last song they played yesterday. You can download it here if you want to. If you don't, that's a'ight, that's a'ight. But I love this song.



Pull a lever or whatevah, right now, right now! (I rule at this level. SOULJA BOY TELL 'EM. ...what was that I don't even know~)

Collected random links:

• Again, "Wake Up" by Arcade Fire. In case you didn't feel like reading that part before.
• An article I read awhile ago about Joaquin Phoenix's documentary about his pathetic descent into insanity
• Jerry Saltz's recap for Wednesday's Work of Art. Seriously, WHY PEREGRINE OVER NICOLE?!? My sister and I were screaming. You would have been scared.

I'm taking the weekend off again. You know. PARTYIN'. (Or, um, sleeping in or something.) See you Monday.

This Day In Videos You Should Watch

I like the idea of calling my posts "Today In," but I don't want things to get repetitive. So I changed "today" to "this day" because for some reason I thought that was better!

Anyway, here are some videos that I've been watching lately. Mind you, I don't really watch videos that often, so the selection is kind of slim pickin's. (Do people use that phrase? I feel a little strange using it.)

Trololololo

This is a popular meme, and for good reason. It's really funny. Also, the song is so catchy; it's always stuck in my head. ALWAYS. ._. I think the best part of this is his face when he's singing. I'm pretty sure he's lip-syncing, because his mouth doesn't move at ALL. AT ALL! Watch it! It won't move!

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

Pacey was the best character in Dawson's Creek, hands down, even if he was a little frightening and was the one that I'd vote "Most Likely to Murder the Other Characters in Their Sleep." So it wouldn't surprise me if there actually WAS a Pacey-Con. Sadly, there isn't, but Joshua Jackson tries his darnedest to start one. We should get this guy in some comedies. He has the "Clueless Egotist" part down pat.

30 Rock, Therapy with Jack and Tracy

An oldie but a goodie. This is the single greatest scene from 30 Rock. It's from the episode "Rosemary's Baby," which is in season 2 (the single greatest season of 30 Rock :D). The episode is pretty forgettable until you get to this scene. It cements the already-obvious fact that JACK DONAGHY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CHARACTERS IN TV HISTORY. EVER.

 Justin Bieber in "The Great Escape"

That's my title for it, at least. Basically Biebs tries to flee from a mob of pubescent girls with raging hormones who are willing to do absolutely anything for him on a Segway. Is it just me or does J. Biebs have some funky priorities? He's willing to call some chick who doesn't even like him, apparently, his "baby, baby, baby, ooh" and tell her "one time that [he] loves [her]" but then when he actually meets girls that are interested in him, he flees! Makes you wonder.

"World News" by Local Natives

This is one of my favorite songs on their album, Gorilla Manor. Well, actually, I like all of the songs. "Cards and Quarters" and "Cubism Dream" are my least favorites, but even those I like. Anyway, this is one really, really weird video! But watching that little kid lip-sync to the song is enjoyable.

Auto-Tune the News: Bed Intruder Song

 

I LOVE Auto-Tune the News. Every episode of it is just awesome. (I think I'm going to rank the episodes some time. Just because I can.) Anyway, apparently this video of a guy being interviewed about some local rapist is making its rounds, and the Auto Tune the News guys (and girl) did their take on it. Obviously, it's amazing. SO CATCHY. "Hide your kids, hide your wife! Hide your kids, hide your wife!"

"Kiss" by Sandara Park Cover

Don't know who Sandara Park is? WHO CARES? This song is SERIOUSLY catchy. This is a cover that my friend did. She does dubs of different J-Pop/K-Pop, etc. songs on YouTube, so you should check out her other stuff! I JUST WANNA KISS I NEVER WANNA MISS~

So, those are my video recommendations for the day. Take them with a grain of salt because, honestly, what do I know? (Although if you don't even so much as grin at the 30 Rock video, I'd venture a guess that you have no soul.)

Silly Bands: America's Obsession With WHAT, Exactly?

WHEEE It's August. Actually, no, NOT "whee," because for most of us August means the end of vacation and preparing to return to that legalized prison called school. But let's try to make the best of this month while we still can, right? So we have this lovely little guest post by my gurl Blaire over here for you to enjoy so much that you wet your pants from laughing. Also, Blaire, don't feel bad about searching for Disney songs in multiple languages. That is actually a completely awesome way to spend you day. May I suggest "Be Prepared" in Japanese?

Hey, ya’ll. This is a guest post. While I’m here, I might as well shamelessly advertise my own blog: http://straightuppaulaabdul.blogspot.com/

So, y’know, when you’re done, you can go over there. :D

Anyway, so, I was in CVS a few weeks ago buying antibiotics and I saw this GIANT tub of Silly Bands where they were selling like four packs for a dollar. And this four year old was screaming her head off because her mom wasn’t letting her buy any.

Of course, because America is turning to a country of spoiled and obese morons, the mother eventually relented and let the girl buy a grand total of eight packs. But it made me wonder: what the hell do you need eight packs of Silly Bands for?

Now, I myself have a few Silly Bands of my own. I have a kangaroo, a saxophone, a flamingo, a bear, a football, a giraffe, and a baseball bat. Why do I have them? Conformity, I suppose. Also, they’re excellent tools for calming children down.

But, that’s not really my point. I guess what I’m wondering is: why do they exist in the first place? I’m sure some person was sitting home, alone, playing with a rubber band, and thought to themselves, “Wow, rubber bands suck. I wish I could make them more colorful! And into little shapes too! I’ll make a fortune!”

Well, congratulations, sir or ma’am. You were damn right. I’m sure you’re living luxuriously now, and instead of sitting home alone, you’re sitting home alone in a hot tub.

Now, I feel like American children have always had some psychological reasoning for the stuff they get into. Pokemon? To assert our authority over beings and each other with brute strength. Barbies? A girl (and gay guy’s) belief that with the right hair, makeup and outfit, there will be a muscular man with weird legs waiting for them. Lady Gaga?

…well, maybe she’s in the same boat as Silly Bands, but you get my point! Silly bands serve no other purpose other than to irritate our skin, serve our need to look at shapes and colors, and to pour more money back into the economy.

Oh my nonexistent deity of choice. This is Obama’s stimulus plan. Silly Bands. They appeal to basically everyone. I’ve seen forty-year-olds with them, I’ve seen teenagers with them, I’ve seen four-year-olds with them. They appeal to everyone. And their fun little shapes…they’re like a marketer's wet dream. And they’re easy to come by, and you sell them in bulk…guys, this is how Obama is planning to get America out of debt.

Except, I think they’re made in China, so that might end up backfiring on him. We’ll see.

At any rate, Silly Bands serve no purpose other than to entertain the masses, and serve as another thing for children to flip out over. I will never understand why a child absolutely must have something that fits around their wrist, is easily breakable, and frankly, looks ridiculously tacky.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this. After all, they’re Silly Bands. Maybe they’re not meant to have a purpose, other than to be ridiculously tacky. But I’m just saying…if the current ‘fad’ is colored rubber bands that bend into little shapes, America might want to give its mental state a quick once over.

But that’s coming from the girl who just spent the last three hours looking up Disney songs in multiple languages for no good reason other than that it sounds pretty. So, maybe America is mentally regressing, and this is just the sign. The beginning of the end, if you will.

So yeah…that’s my rambling-ish thing on Silly Bands. If you have any, don’t be offended. Remember that I have them too. If you don’t have them, don’t bother getting any. Like I said, there’s no point.

…Toodles!