Bucky Gunts Presents FWSF's Emmy Recap

Thank you, Mr. Gunts.

So it goes like this: The Oscars are the Patriarch. They are bulletproof. Even when the hosts are bad (like, sadly, this year's were) the show is still amazing because nothing beats its turn-out. The Golden Globes are that smelly uncle from a foreign country that you don't see very often - and don't really want to. But sometimes he brings you some really awesome presents, so you hang out with him a little.

The Emmys are the Oscars' red-headed child. Not step-child, real kid. They try to live up to the Oscars despite their obvious hindrances (red hair/no awesome movies stars, just a lot of cynical TV actors). A lot of the time, they fail. But that's because you don't get to know them. You ignore them. Once you get to know them, once you start to care about them, they're fun. They're worth it.

Last night's Emmys weren't perfect - but they never are. I mean, come on. But they were enjoyable, for the most part. Here are my highlights:

• The opening skit was actually pretty good, despite me being all "EWW GLEE I'M SO TIRED OF YOU GAWRSH" when I saw Lea Michele's confused bangs poke out from the corner of my TV. Jimmy Fallon proved himself to be up to the task. Reuniting him with Tina Fey made me very happy inside. Kate Gosselin, who, by the way, should NEVER EVER be invited to the Emmys EVER AGAIN, was seriously hilarious. And even though I don't really know "Born to Run" they all did an awesome job. I was surprised they didn't make fun of Jorge Garcia more, though. I mean, come on. It's so obvious. And they just ignored little Nina Dobrev, dancing back there. Why was she even there? The Vampire Diaries wasn't nominated for anything, was it? So strange.
• 
  Oh, let me add: I think Jon Hamm rules. Thanks 30 Rock, for teaching me that he has some serious comedy skills! But he seriously is very, very, VERY funny. When he joined the Glee Club (that is so weird to write) I was happy. "DREW AND LIZ TOGETHER A-GAIN!" 
• 
  Since Comedy is the only category I actually watch anything in, I was upset to see it go first. C'mon, guys, you want me to watch for the whole three hours, don't you? But of course, I had to keep watching anyway. The power of bright shiny lights and promises of Ricky Gervais/George Clooney/etc.
• 
  The first award of the night was, weirdly, for Supporting Actor. Seriously guys? You had to go with one of the big categories first? And ACTOR? I would've gone with Actress first, personally, because it's so predictable. Knock the easy ones out first. But I was interested to see who would win this one; I knew it was going to be one of the Modern Family dudes, and I was personally rooting for Ty Burrell. I'm pretty sure Phil is everyone's favorite character. (I'll ask everyone later if this is accurate. I have them locked up downstairs.) But JTF and Eric Stonestreet were deserving too. I love Kurt -- "Rose's Turn" was seriously the best moment of Glee's first season ("If it wasn't for me, then where would you be, Miss Rachel Ber-RRRRRY? *jazz hands*" I'm listening to it now, and never turning it off, thanks), but it wasn't his time. Honestly, will it ever be? I don't know. We'll see. Also, I'm just realizing Jack McBrayer wasn't nominated. That is disgusting and someone will pay. Anyway, Eric Stonestreet won. He made a nice speech. I was happy for him, because he really did deserve it, even if his character isn't my favorite. 
• 
  I knew 30 Rock wasn't going to win any of the big categories, but I really hoped that they'd win a Writing Award, at least! I marathon-ed 30 Rock earlier that day and "Anna Howard Shaw Day" was a hilarious episode. It wasn't the best, and I personally would have nominated "Future Husband" or one of the other Wesley episodes, but it was still great. I haven't see "Lee Marvin vs. Derek Jeter" so I can't comment on its quality. I knew Glee had no chance, but the "Pilot" was an excellent episode, so I'm glad that it was the one nominated. The episode nominated for The Office was one of the few good ones from the season, and Modern Family could basically have any episode nominated and stand a good chance. As it turns out, they won. Yay.
• 
  Oh, right, by the way, I liked the videos they made. The Glee one made me giggle violently. Seriously, I was physically ill by the time I was done. HE SAID HE LOOKED LIKE A SHETLAND PONY. BAHAHA. 
• 
  Stephen Colbert is a perfect human being. His joke was a bit obvious but that man delivers. I bow to you, Stephen. The category he was announcing was Supporting Actress, which was obvious so I just complained about how Jane Lynch was getting way too big now and moved on. But did you see Jane Krakowski after the other Jane won? She looked so sad. Don't worry, Jen. I think you're excellent.
• 
  They showed a ton of weird Community commercials. I couldn't hear them half the time because the people in my house don't understand that the TV is something people like to LISTEN TO. But they didn't seem that funny. It was really strange. But I'm glad NBC is confident in the nomination-less Community. It is a pretty good show. Not amazing, but funny. Troy and Abed are the bomb.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon did this pretty nuts six degrees of separation thing linking Matthew Perry to Lauren Graham (or the other way around, whatever). This would have been a lot cooler to me if I didn't completely despise the both of them. Seriously, I think they're awful. Completely unfunny. I hate Friends and I can't stand Gilmore Girls. Also, that joke that I think Lauren made about Matthew Perry playing "another gay character" wasn't funny, at all. Anyway, they talked about the people who had won for guest roles. It was boring and just made me feel resentful towards Betty White. Sorry, Betty, but I think you're starting to be overexposed. But NPH, keep doing your thing, honey, yo' perfect. LOVE YOU.
• 
  The comedy directing tapes were really, really strange. Why was Ryan Murphy holding Britney (who looked insane at the show, by the way. I was surprised) like she was his prostitute? Highly disturbing. I had expected, even sort of wanted him to win before that, but then I was a little unsure. He might use the Award to entice more young prostitutes. He ended up winning, so someone should keep an eye on him.
• 
  The little Modern Family short was pretty amusing. The Sofia Vergara-in-3D joke was starting to be overkill. I think I'd be more afraid of Christina Hendricks in 3D. I mean, GOD. SHEESH. 
• 
  The show was moving very quickly. I think it wasn't even 8:30 when they got to the Leads? I was starting to wonder how the heck this was supposed to last another 2 and a half hours, but I knew them Emmy Producers had their magical ways of stretching things out. Anyway, they did Lead Actor first. I sat back comfortably, expecting my beloved Alec Baldwin to pick up yet another award. You know, now that I'm thinking about it, was he even there? They didn't really show him, I don't think. I saw Kenneth/Jack more often than Alec Baldwin. Anyway, so they announce the winner and I'm quite confident that the presenters can't read or something because they say "Jim Parsons." Then I see that completely unfunny dude from the completely unfunny The Big Bang Theory walk up and I throw my M&Ms down in disgust. HOW COULD THIS FREAK WIN OVER ALEC BALDWIN? WHAT IS THIS TRAVESTY? I was pretty much ready to give up at this point. Seriously, that was just awful. If Alec wasn't going to win, I would have been okay with Steve Carrell or Larry David, I might have even been somewhat emotionally stable if Matthew Morrison, but JIM PARSONS? UGHH! I have to move on before I throw my computer at someone.
• 
  Edie Falco isn't funny. She's right. She isn't. Tina Fey, however, is. So why did she not win, again? Ugh. Lea Michele could have even sat okay with me (listening to "Don't Rain on My Parade" right now and this girl could have won for this scene alone. Apparently that's the episode she was nominated for, too). Amy Poehler rocked on Parks and Rec, too. I think Edie Falco is an awesome actress and I liked her on 30 Rock (oh, you) but is Nurse Jackie even a comedy, really? I mean...sheesh.
• 
  Reality is a joke of a category, especially when Intervention isn't nominated, but I was rooting for Top Chef. Also, I really liked those catchy songs Jimmy Fallon was singing at the start of each category. Kim Kardashian wasn't much of a singer. Is it just me or does she look a LOT better in person? In pictures she looks very...odd. But in person she looked great. Maybe it was the makeup or the hair or something. "Reality!"
• 
  Top Chef won. We were all very happy. Although for a ton of the speech were were trying to find Padma, but then we found her and the world was good again. Her hair looked tired. Yes, that is possible.
• 
  Will Arnett and Keri Russell have no chemistry and I'm expecting Running Wilde to fail miserably. It pains me to say that, honest. But I think Mitch Hurwitz struck gold once and won't ever be able to do it again. I'll check it out and hope for the best, but it doesn't look good. 
• 
  I don't care about drama that much because I don't watch any of the shows nominated, but I like Dexter and Breaking Bad and I'm totally okay with Mad Men (Jon Hamm and Elisabeth Moss are my bros) so as long as those won my blood pressure would be stable. I was really happy for Aaron Paul when he won Supporting. He was supposed to be excellent this season and he just seems like a nice guy. He was so happy. I appreciate that. 
• 
  I heard a lot of people say good stuff about Archie Panjabi on The Good Wife but I didn't expect her to win. Her speech was positively dull but I was still happy for her, even though I was rooting for the Mad Men girls. 
• 
  Lead actor, I was rooting for Michael C. Hall (his hair is growing back, yay), Bryan Cranston, and Jon Hamm. I would have been okay with any of them, but I was calling B. Crans. You know what's creepy? Dexter is married to Deb. It always grosses me out to see them together at these shows, holding hands and being all spouse-y. It's hard for me to disassociate TV from real life, okay?! IT'S A PROBLEM. I KNOW. Anyway, Bryan Cranston won. That dude is so humble and he brought his wife and kid. His daughter seemed to be rolling her eyes a lot. I wasn't a fan of her, but I'm not a fan of most teenage girls. Including myself, and YOU. Anyway, Bryan Cranston, shut up about thinking someone else should win, because you deserve it. And since Breaking Bad isn't coming back until next summer or whatever, Michael C. Hall or Jon Hamm can win next year. :)
• 
  Lead actress was a category I didn't care about at all. I just expected Juliana Marguiles to win, but honestly, it made no difference to me. My dad seemed excited for Kyra Sedgwick, but I was apathetic. Kevin Bacon looks eternally youthful, though. And I enjoyed Tina Fey's banter and Matthew Morrison's awkwardness. Kyra gave Tina the award to hold for her and Tina said, "First award I've got to hold all night!" Oh, Tina Fey. Stamatina Fey. That's her name, you know. Stamatina.
• 
  Jimmy Fallon's musical tribute was awesome. I seriously thought he was Elton John at first. I'm an idiot. But he was good! I especially loved his Boyz II Men parody (THE OUTFIT HAHAHA) and OH GOD HIS BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! It was PERFECT. I cracked up and couldn't stop. If he had only done his Neil Young, man, I'd be settled for good. 
• 
  I think Variety came next. Variety! Ricky Gervais presented a number of the awards. He should host the Oscars next year. Heck, he and NPH should just co-host every single awards show or something. He rules. He rambled and gave out non-alcoholic beer. Oh, lawd. And the Bucky Gunts thing was monumental. A dude named Bucky Gunts was nominated for directing the Olympics, and in retrospect, Ricky's serious intone as he said "Bucky Gunts" the first time around was probably the funniest thing of the entire show. "I really hope Bucky Gunts wins, because I didn't even know we could say that on TV." (Get it? Because it sounds really DIRTY?) And then he did win and Ricky cheered. It was perfect. Bucky didn't seem to care. Those Canadians are really laid-back.
• 
  Jimmy later accidentally called one of the female presenters "Bucky Gunts." I think it was Claire Danes? Which is hilarious because I hate Claire Danes. Hugh Dancy! You deserve better! You too, Jason Sudeikis! January Jones sucks. 
• 
  Everyone was cheering for Coco to take it home, but that was never going to happen. Did you notice during the Variety montage they had a ton of Coco clips but only one Jay clip? Telling, telling. Also, Jimmy made a little jab at Co at the beginning of the show. Co did not look amused. But it was hard to tell under the facial hair. You know, it was interesting, the Conan shots were kept to a minimum. I guess NBC sort of wanted to forget he was there.
• 
  The Tonys winning, by the way, was idiotic. Although I liked that guy's clip the most. It was very nice. He had the referee one, right? Anyway. Who actually watches the Tonys? I wanted Bill Maher to win something, darn it. And my dad tried to explain how Wanda Sykes' joke about Obama and watermelons was actually funny and not perpetuating racist stereotypes but I just wasn't following. Sorry, but I don't find her funny. 
• 
  
  
  
  

  

  This is how George Clooney feels about this post

• 
  George Clooney won an award for Humanitarianism. I liked his speech, personally. I think he's a cool bro. But then again, doesn't everyone? I'm sure everyone was ecstatic to be in the company of a TRUE movie star, anyway. George Clooney is always fun to watch at awards shows. His deadpan facial expressions at the Oscars this year were my favorite thing.
• 
  Mini-series and Movies is the most boring category. I wanted You Don't Know Jack to win everything. It didn't, except Al Pacino won for acting. Temple Grandin cleaned up. Was it really that good? I don't know. And what was Claire Danes nominated for before? Not My So-Called Life, I hope? I think she was my least favorite thing about that show. Actually, I think everything was my least favorite thing on that show. But I even liked her less than Jared Leto. 
• 
  The real Temple Grandin was there, waving and talking a lot, and my sister kept telling her to shut up, which was mean. I must admit, though, she was getting a little irritating. Not really her fault; I think the whole category was just getting to me.
• 
  Oh, and Julie Ormand or whatever her name is who won Supporting was very, very funny. I can't remember anything she said, but I remember finding her hysterical. It was refreshing.
• 
  Over at my friend's blog she called the In Memoriam segment "the dead montage" which I find hilarious. During the commercials they showed a preview of the segment (because I guess seeing dead people whom most of us don't even remember is something we all look forward to) and Corey Haim seriously looked like Fred Savage. We had a good laugh over that. Wait til Fred Savage hears that everyone thought he was dead! Seriously, apparently we weren't the only ones to think Corey Haim looked liked Fred Savage. But once I realized it was Corey I was sad. Also, could they seriously not get anyone more relevant than JEWEL?
• 
  Jimmy Fallon calling Tom Selleck his "real father" was strange. Tom Selleck: "...Okay." Ahaha. But, um, it was strange that Drama was announced before comedy. I guess they wanted to have the teenagers stick around for as long as possible, eh? So Mad Men won and life went on as normal.
• 
  Modern Family kicked 30 Rock off its pedestal, which made me sad, but at least it wasn't Glee. I think Modern Family had the most consistently-good season out of all of the nominees, so I was okay with it. Every episode I saw was good fun.
• Oh, and John Hodgman as the commentator is something I always look forward to.
 

Holy crud, my arm hurts. These Emmys need to be shorter. This year's was good fun (I KEEP SAYING THAT! EW!) and all, but I don't know. Awards shows aren't what they used to be. Jimmy Fallon was good but the Twitter thing was irritating and it just dragged at the end. Awards season is kind of over now. I'll miss you!

It's Only 3 O'Clock And I'm Already Calling It A Day

Today I headed over to the IFC Center with mi madre and mi hermana to see Summer Wars, Mamoru Hosoda's follow-up to the OHMYGODAMAZING The Girl Who Leapt Through Time. It was excellent. You can't see it now because today was its last showing, but I recommend you check it out when it comes on DVD/Blu-Ray. I'll keep you posted.

After the movie, we were driving through the East Village, when suddenly I cried, "OH MY GOD!" Turning to my sister, I yelped, bemused, "That was the girl from My Life as Liz!" As in, Liz from My Life as Liz. Yeah, I'm a bit odd. So, yes, I saw Liz Lee being an annoying faux-"nerd" hanging out with her "friends" and a police officer on the sidewalk. If you care, her head is large and her hair is as red as the fire I set to it in my mind. If you don't care, well, then, don't. (Note: I think the police officer was there because they were doing filming or something? I'm not sure. She wasn't TALKING to him or anything. Also, I must say she had a snazzy outfit on. Gotta hand it to the kid.)

Since tonight is the Emmys and I'm preparing by watching 30 Rock on Free-on-Demand, I'm going to just let you read this awesome (IMO) review of My Life as Liz I wrote awhile ago. ENJOY. And come back tomorrow for my post-Emmys recap. Please? PLEASE?

What is it really like to be an “outsider?” The new MTV “reality” series, My Life as Liz, tries hard to answer this question, but ultimately fails.
Liz tells the tale of painfully cool teen Liz Lee from Burleson, Texas, where all hip kids go to die. Liz and her band of fellow “outcasts” stick out like sore thumbs amongst the other kids, whom she describes as being all preppy and stupid, and thus beneath her on the Periodic Table of Awesome. The show documents Liz’s heavily-scripted travails against the pack of blondes who used to be her friends until she awakened her inner dork and now want to make her life miserable.

Liz tries to be the My So-Called Life to the Beverly Hills 90210 that makes up the rest of the MTV line-up. (Liz even has the same dyed red hair that Claire Danes had on Life.) Whereas Life reflects sincere feelings of awkwardness, Liz portrays the sarcastic cynicism of today.

While in similarly cynical works such as Juno and MTV’s own Daria the protagonists were likeable behind their snark, Liz is completely snobby and unlikable, fitting more into the pretentious hipster scene than the nerdy one she so confidently declares herself part of.

Liz is an ironic T-shirt-abusing, chronic hair-dying, thrift store-shopping “weirdo;” however, it’s exactly these kinds of people who’ve become popular and mainstream in their own right. She’s not as different as she claims to be. In fact, according to a multitude of online comments made by her classmates, Liz is indeed quite popular at her school, contrary to what’s shown.

MTV seems obsessed with painting Liz as some sort of nerdy messiah to the masses of socially inept minors it hopes to attract. Liz preaches that she knows what it’s like to be “the school mascot” or “the club president,” and with her show she hopes to give them a voice. What she’s really doing is reducing them to outdated and inaccurate stereotypes. Liz is a 21^st Century girl, but her mindset seems to be stuck in the halls of Saved by the Bell.

In the end, Liz proves herself to be just as condescending as the people she decorates her hate wall with; the blondes she battles may be elitist, but if they are, then she is, too. What she’s not is nerdy, not in any sense.

If you want to find a true look into socially awkward life, Liz isn’t the one to go to; instead, look at the misfit boys surrounding her: if anyone at their school’s a nerd, it’s them. You don’t have to think for long to get why Liz was picked as the show’s anchor as opposed to any one of her male entourage. Even on a show about outcasts, the outcasts lose.

In two words: epic fail.

Hasta manana, babies.

Today In News That Probably Only I Care About

Today's top headline:

MATT DAMON IS RETURNING TO 30 ROCK! YES. YES. YES!

Shall I re-post my awful Matt Damon dancing .gif? I think I shall!

Huzzah!

In other news:

• Will Forte is leaving SNL. This is, hopefully, an excellent career move for the very funny Forte [/alliteration]. I think he should do more voice acting, because he's good at it. His character was one of the few on Sit Down, Shut Up that I nearly tolerated (until that TERRIBLE joke about him developing boobs. That was mightily disturbing).
• BREAKING: Final Fantasy Versus XIII is still not out. Oh wait, everyone knows that already? Does everyone also already know that it probably isn't even coming out next year? They do? Oh. Well, carry on then.
• You can now trade games in at Best Buy. But should you? No.
• The interesting-sounding, Jim Carrey-starring romantic dramedy I Love You Phillip Morris is finally coming out. And on my birthday, no less! Now I can celebrate the good old-fashioned way: with gay convicts expressing their love through repeated escape attempts.
• Conan can make fun of NBC if his Tonight Show wins at the Emmy Awards this Sunday, permitted that his remarks "aren't false." In normal people's terms, that means we can potentially look forward to jokes about my admittedly most-watched network's poor ratings and even poorer management. Goody?
• Maybe you've heard of that suicide at a recent The Swell Season concert? Well, if you were one of the unlucky ones to be present, Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova and company are willing to pay for your resulting therapy. That incident really was quite sad, and I'm not going to joke about it. If you'd like to read some people's impressions of what happened there, check out the comments of this SFWeekly article.
• To end on a lighter note, here's a cool mash-up between Scott Pilgrim and Avatar: The Last Airbender (the show, NOT the movie), posted by the former's director and just one of the nicest guys around (he seems nice to ME, anyway) Edgar Wright.

A'ight, so that's the story, from your favorite random news aggregate around. Check it. (If you read that in an Ali G voice it's pretty funny!) 

R.I.P. Satoshi Kon

Renowned anime director Satoshi Kon is reported to have died from cancer yesterday. I understand this to be a gigantic loss to the currently ailing (creatively, anyway, it is argued) anime industry.

While I myself have not seen most of Kon's works, the only one I've watched being the very enjoyable Tokyo Godfathers, Kon's work is beloved by many and will influence even more. He rarely dabbled in the world of realism, except for in the sole movie of his I've seen all-the-way through; thus, I would not call it his representative work. Instead, most would cite that to be Paprika, his last completed film, an incredibly surreal movie that took place in the world of dreams. Think Inception, except far stranger, and probably more true to the actual nature of the dream. It's an insane movie (I definitely don't mean that in a bad way), and perhaps a bit of an acquired taste, but it would be hard to argue that it isn't good.

Kon was also famed for Paranoia Agent, the similarly complex and stylized TV series. It aired on Adult Swim here in the U.S. 

The sudden loss will be hard for anime fans and fellow directors to recover from. He had a movie, called The Dreaming Machine, in the works, but it's unknown how far into production it was and whether it will ever reach completion now.

I guess all I can say is R.I.P. Satoshi Kon. I can't say there was or continues to be anyone more inspired than you.

Man

I miss the days of 90s/early 00s television. They were, and continue to be, the best.

The ones I'm pining for the most at the moment are the ones by Mo Willems, the once up-and-coming animator and now kids' book writer. Sheep in the Big City is in my BitTorrent downloader thingy-mahjiggy right now. I didn't want to resort to that, but I have no choice. See what you're doing, Cartoon Network? You're making me not give you the money I really, REALLY want to give you.

The Offbeats was the coolest, too. Here's one of the episodes; they used to air on Kablam!, which was one of my favorite shows:



Sigh.

From the Persona Team, Catherine Trailer

I'm tired. Really, really tired. I blame LittleBigPlanet and it's hideously high entertainment value. I was playing online with some random Puerto Rican person until 1 AM. Man-oh-man. Good times.

While LBP fills every gaming orifice that is not already filled by Pokemon in my body (don't ask where or what these orifices are, because that is a personal question. Also, it's nonsensical and I have no answer for you, anyway), I can't help but stare longingly at my perfectly organized game shelf (which, it just occurred to me, I must take a picture of to immortalize for all Internet-going generations to come!) and wish that, settled in-between LBP and Ratchet and Clank: Tools of Destruction, there was a copy of my much-desired Persona 5. Unfortunately, nary a title exists as of yet. But I assure you, it will come. Gosh darn it all, it will come. I won't let Persona 5 NOT be on the PS3.

While gamers have been awaiting any sign that Atlus was beginning development on the game, or at least on some PS3 project, for the longest time there was nothing. The system was launched nearly 4 years ago, and there has so far been squat. Thankfully, though, Famitsu and Gamescom exist. Gamescom is the European E3; if you don't know what Famitsu is then I don't know WHAT you're doing. It's the premier gaming magazine in Japan. So while this pretty big event is going on, Famitsu has revealed some pretty big news to go along with it. Also, Tokyo Game Show (TGS) is in September, so they're also prepping for that.

Finally we have evidence that the Persona team is not allergic to the HD consoles. DRAMATICALLY I PRESENT TO YOU CATHERINE IN ALL CAPS (this is NSFW but, I mean, who reads my blog at work anyway? I don't think anyone who reads my blog even has a job):



Yeah. Catherine is not known to be related to the Persona universe, but who cares, really? It's an "adult horror action/adventure" game about a dudebro named Vincent, who appeared in Persona 3: Portable, a "listless salaryman, is the main character and his life turns into a nightmare, literally, when he meets the charming Catherine."

The game has a really cool art style that I love. The game play has yet to be seen, and I'm a baby so I don't really like the adult themes, but I'm holding out hope that this game turns out to be my kind of thing. I'm pretty excited.

Catherine's coming to the PS3 and 360 in Japan this Winter. We can look forward to seeing it sometime next year. I hope. (DUN DUN DUN!)

More screens/info here: http://www.siliconera.com/2010/08/19/welcome-to-vincents-lamb-filled-nightmare/

Books-To-Movies: How I See Them (A Candidate For Worst Title Ever)

(I guess this is kinda an addendum to my Scott Pilgrim review. An additional bullet point, if you will. And you will. So, yeah.)

Being someone who read the complete series of graphic novels before seeing the movie, I had to wonder whether I would be able to follow along as easily had I not.

With a lot of adaptations (book, TV show, movie, etc.), I always find it helpful to have some kind of background knowledge at least to have a good understanding of what's going on. For example, the Harry Potter movies: even when they were first coming out, I knew that it would be best to read the book first to have a complete understanding. However, these movies are top-notch adaptations in that they cover the majority of the books (this is true for the earlier ones, at least). The first movie sets up the HP universe well-enough that someone who, for some weird reason or another, hasn't read the books could still completely understand what's going on.

However, having read the books first allowed me to have free reign to whine about the little things missing. I like having my permission to whine, thanks very much. This is what happens with a lot of movies based on books that I've read. Atonement is widely considered a good movie, but I read the book first. That book is mad dope, y'all. (What does that even mean?!) It was one of the best books I read last year. But the movie just couldn't compare. Instead of enjoying Saoirse Ronan's acting/existence (don't ask) like I should have been, I found myself glaring and saying, "NOPE, BOOK WAS BETTER!" or "THAT WASN'T IN THE BOOK" or whatever. And it was a generally faithful adaptation, too. But oftentimes having read the book first will affect your perception of the movie -- usually negatively.

The thing is, I don't like watching the movie first, especially if it's faithful to the book.. I don't like reading books where I already know everything that happens. I couldn't read Fight Club for this reason, even though I probably would have liked it. It just bored me out of my mind because I already know that Tyler Durden is part of the narrator. (Sorry if that's a spoiler for you. I just read a Shadow of the Colossus spoiler so I understand how upsetting they can be. T_T)

However, with something like Scott Pilgrim, or like Harry Potter, watching the movie is seeing your favorite characters come to life. And I guess everything I just wrote about is really irrelevant, because SP and HP are totally different. The Harry Potter movies, like I said, have really good exposition. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World? Eh.

I think with something as insane as SP, it would be hard to understand what's really going on. The story is very streamlined, and it's not too confusing. It's random and nonsensical, but for someone who hasn't read the comic but likes video games it won't be too implausible. Weird, but possible. The thing I worry about for the non-reader who watches this movie is they're going to have a warped perception of the comic books if they ever to choose to read them later. While having read the books first influenced my opinion of the movie (which you can find here), someone who doesn't know that Kim Pine is more than a misanthropic, cynical jerk with a gigantic stick up her butt might will get the impression that that's who she is. It's not the case. It upsets me. Very, very much. It makes me so sad, so very, very sad. Although apparently some moviegoers enjoyed her depiction. I guess it's their perceptions not matching mine that upsets me.

Also, not having read the comics first, I would be confused about why Envy was so important, I might think Ramona is boring, and maybe even sort of NICE, which is not the case at all, and I might think that Young Neil is more important and socially awkward than is really the case.

In short, not knowing the comics will make you not know the real story. Will the story that appears confuse you? Well, the reviews by people who didn't even know about the comic don't seem to talk about being so confused (although there are people saying "WHY DO THEY TURN INTO COINS WUTWUT"), it's more like they're saying they can't relate. That is something that's lost in the movie, too. As I said before in the review that I will pimp as many times as possible, no one receives real characterization besides Scott. Knives grows up a little bit, too, but aside from that it's all about Scott. It makes sense, since this is Scott's side of the story. But reading the comics, you come to love everyone. In this movie, unless you're one of those weirdos who finds Movie Kim likable, you won't want to root for anyone. That's the biggest loss.

That, and you're missing out on a really good series of graphic novels.

Sorry this was so rambly and nonsensical. What I really just want to know is, for people who did not read the comic books first, what did you think of the movie? Does it make you want to read the comic books now? Did you understand everything without trouble? 

I Will Flip a Coin

In order to figure out what to write about, I'm going to use a coin toss simulator. Why not flip an actual coin, which I surely must have somewhere in my house? Because that would involve moving, stupid.

Heads means that I'm going to write about the Scott Pilgrim graphic novels vs. the movie. Tails means I'm going to just post a video from Good Will Hunting and bid you "Good day."

LET'S FLIP:

YES! LESS WORK FOR ME!



That's one of the best scenes from the movie, which I just saw today for the first time. It was excellent. You should go watch it on Netlfix Instant while I watch Roseanne. Man, the kids are way better actors than Roseanne is. It's a little unfortunate.

Download: "Miss Misery" by Elliott Smith, from Good Will Hunting.

P.S. Don't worry, I might write about Scott Pilgrim on Wednesday.

Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World Mini-Review

 

After months and months and months and months and MONTHS of hype, I finally saw Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World yesterday. HOORAY! It's very likely that if you're reading this right now, you know exactly what Scott Pilgrim's about, so I will refrain from saying anything more than 1. the graphic novels set expectations at exceedingly high levels and 2. this movie definitely appeals to a certain "type."

But was this the type of movie for me? The answer is YES YES YES.

Here we go with bullet points:

• The casting was nearly perfect. Knives, STEPHEN STILLS (!!!), YOUNG NEIL (!!!), Stacey, and even Wallace, who I was worried the most about, were all perfect. Guess who else was awesome? Michael Cera as Scott. Haters gonna hate, but I thought he was...I'm trying not to say great because that rhymes excellent. He did not play "himself" (although if you've ever watched this kid in an interview you would know that he's not quite as awkward as you think), he played SCOTT. 
• More on that: Scott was a bit "toned down" from the comics. However, he was still the most enjoyable character to watch for me; maybe this was because he was the one who received the most characterization.
• More on THAT: Okay, so obviously this movie tried to adapt six volumes into one two-hour movie, which is a hard thing to do perfectly. And while I think a lot of the plot changes that were made helped to make it more cohesive and fit better into the allotted time, certain choices were made at the expense of character development. Biggest offenders: Kim, Ramona, Envy. Envy isn't as important, so it's okay, but up until the fight against Todd we keep hearing about how Scott dated Envy and she broke his heart and blah blah blah. But we never delve into their back story, which is the most interesting part, and when Envy shows up you think, "What? How the heck did Scott ever date this girl?" Also, she's just bland as heck and she and Scott don't have any closure or anything. She's just never mentioned again. We got an idea of who Ramona was: mysterious and distant. But that was it. You never really understand why Scott is in love with her and fighting for her. It's like he's just going with the motions. They don't have too much nice alone time, which was too bad, because the scenes where they did were amongst my favorite (their second (?) date, the Seinfeld-esque scene although Ramona technically isn't in that one). Basically, Ramona is flat. 
• The most egregious offense OR more on that AGAIN: KIM. I HATED KIM IN THIS MOVIE. Kim is one of everyone's favorite characters. She's a cynical, misanthropic jerk, but she really does care about Scott and everyone else. In the comics, she has depth. However, in this movie, Kim hates everything and everyone, especially Scott. She is never happy and she is never not being sarcastic. When she sees Scott her eye starts throbbing and that scary, dramatic music even plays. (Those screechy violins, you know.) She HATES him because he dumped her in high school, but the real Kim didn't care about that THAT much. Also, the real Kim was interesting, and that was what made me the most upset. This Kim was boring and I can't remember almost anything she said.
• I missed Joseph. He's one of my favorite characters. Thankfully, they had the guy that Wallace stole from Stacey in a number of scenes, kind of as a replacement. Although he was nowhere as awesome as Joseph.
• Let's talk about stuff I liked again, though. I LOVED the music. Sex Bob-omb were, for being self-loathing and "terrible," really good. I really liked their "Garbage Truck" song. Stephen Stills was a good singer, and Scott was a surprisingly competent bassist. I liked his "Ramona" song, too, although Ramona kind of blew it off. THAT GURL, WAI SHE GOTTA BE LIKE THAT
• The opening credits. The opening credits made my heart race. (I'm a little over-dramatic like that.) The visuals were just very, very cool. I loved the opening scene, too. I don't know, I just found it perfect. 
• The fight scenes were pretty awesome, although I think some of them went on for too long. (Most notably the first one, against Matthew Patel.) I did love that Ramona talked about her relationships with most of them via black-and-white cutscenes. I think my favorite fights were Scott vs. Lucas and maybe Scott vs. Todd. That one was hilarious, mainly because of how it ended. (I loved the Vegan police high-fiving in slow motion.) 
• More hilarity: The Ninja Revolution game, that aforementioned Seinfeld scene, Young Neil's idiocy, Knives' stalkerish tendencies, Scott and Ramona's date, etc. etc. There's a lot. (Oh, also, but this comes towards the end: "Do you know how long it took me to collect all of the Evil Exes' contact information? TWO HOURS!"
• I'm just going to mention it again: Wallace ruled.

ENDING SPOILERS HERE:

• The ending was weird and not wholly satisfying. That last fight went on forever, and what are they trying to say -- they're basically suggesting that Self-Respect > Love, which is kind of stupid and kind of a bad message. I guess they were trying to set up an ending where Scott and Ramona DON'T end up together. Instead, Scott would end up with Knives (word is that that's an alternate ending). I actually kind of like the idea of that, because I really liked Knives, as creepy as she was at times. She was a sweet girl and Scott actually had a rapport with her. However, Knives basically says, "Dude, we just spent nearly 2 hours murdering people so you could make out with this chick for a little bit. Seriously? LYK GO GET HER LOL" so then Scott has to go get her. It was pretty stupid that Ramona STILL hadn't "found what she was looking for" or whatever, instead keen on leaving behind yet another ex. Sister sure is flighty. Which ending do you like better, Scott and Ramona or Scott and Knives? (Look at me, trying in vain to initiate conversation between commentators and myself.)
• Either way, I like the ending that Bryan Lee O'Malley chose for volume 6 instead. That was more meaningful.

ENDING SPOILERS, OVER

The movie's not perfect, but it's about as good as a live action Scott Pilgrim could ever be. I really liked it. Really liked it. I think your mileage may vary, and I don't see many "older people" enjoying this as much although you never know, but it's a sort of ADD-addled film that could possibly define my generation. Although I really hope not. I hate my generation. We don't deserve a movie this fun.

I give Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World 4 Slutty Wallace's Sleeping Next to Various Guys and Scott's out of 5.

P.S. Even though I gave Inception a better score, I think I enjoyed this more than that. It's being a comedy certainly helps. But they're both great so see them!

For the other movies I saw this summer, you can read my Inception Mini-Review here and my quick post about Toy Story 3 here.

Work Of Art Finale Review

WORK OF ART #1.10 "The Big Show"

After a very long 10 weeks, Work of Art is finally over. I, and I'm sure the majority of the Internet/America/Universe, was expecting Miles to win all along and so when I sat down I wasn't expecting anything surprising. I assumed the finale would be your typical show where the guy you knew was going to win wins and you're either really happy or breaking your neighbor's car windows. What? Am I the only one who reacts like that?

So here is a recap of what happened last night in my living room during the last 5 minutes of the last episode of season 1 of Work of Art: The Next Great Artist:

China: Miles, sorry, but even though your art is better than everyone single other person's on this show, and even though I shouldn't have the authority to say this to anyone - I mean, c'mon, look at me, I can't even properly dress myself! - YOU DIDN'T WIN. HAHA. NOW GTFO.
Miles: .__.
Me and My Sister: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MILES GODDARNIT WHY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EVERYTHING WE KNOW IS WRONG


Miles, I personally believe, was technically the most skilled. He was also the most fun to watch, the most polarizing, the one who EVERYONE had an opinion about, positive or negative. When we reminisce about this show in a few years or whatever, we will all talk about Miles. So for him not to win was a complete shock. Especially since they sent him out first!

Thankfully, our most knowledgeable or at least most critical judge Jerry Saltz has an explanation for us:

“When did Miles lose?” ...His show was all-but perfectly realized, and looked like something I might review in a respectable Lower East Side gallery. Here came the rub. Miles’ work was so up-to-date that it looked dated. This way his art lost its edge, turned in on itself; it went from being over-hung to just being overkill. As highly accomplished as his work was, it was a bit too much in a highly conceptualized, self-reflexive, intensely theorized, and familiar quasi-visual idiom. Miles had lost by winning. He got so close to a good idea of art, that the art he got close to wasn’t entirely his own. I began to understand that this had been happening all along. Indeed, it had been there in his first digital black-and-white portrait of Nao. I think Miles should move to New York and be poor and stay up late with thousands of other young artists. Then, in five years, he could be an artist to reckon with. That he lost this reality TV show will one day actually help him.

Let us hope that is true. Miles might have been a bit pretentious, a bit of a hipster, but he was overall a very good artist (if not great), and that's the most important thing. His art is very conceptual and not very emotional; that portrait of Nao, the one he did of the "homeless shelter," those were the only ones I can remember making anyone really feel anything. But he's good, darnit. I think he'll be okay.

Before we move on to who won, let me just talk about the home visits. They helped to make this episode a lot more memorable, very human, sweet; this episode could very well be my favorite. We got to see Peregrine, Abdi, and Miles in their home environments; we got to see where "the magic happens," who they are when they're in a more comfortable, less stressful and manufactured space. While I have personally been hating on Peregrine ever since that first team challenge, it was hard not to like her as she introduced our Favorite Eternally Gleeful Swiss Man Simon de Pury to her husband (a "Jazz musician and horn sculptor"). When he was playing that horn that was wrapped around her, it was not only awkward but also...okay, mostly it was awkward. But at least I didn't hate her anymore?

Peregrine's favorite part of her show was a big portrait of these two taxidermied unborn twin deer. They were precious. However, they seemed like an out-of-place "sideshow" when it came to the rest of her Carnival theme. She had cotton candy, tons of pink and orange casts of little boys' heads, ponies, etc. It was a bit too much, in my opinion. It really was all over the place. While there were some really good pieces in it (the deer and the guest judge David LaChapelle really liked her cast of a boy's head under glass), I agree with Bill: it would be better had it been edited down. It was too unruly.

Miles' house was very nice. I liked it. You know what's good about the Midwest, other than their funny accents? You can get nice homes on the cheap-ish. Miles' had a nice home that I assume was on the cheap-ish. (I feel like now is an appropriate time for me to, as always, plug the AV Club's review, which has tons of funny quips about Miles' and Abdi's home visits.) We got to see the place in which Miles' works, AKA the ga-raage. They kept pronouncing it weirdly. I liked Miles' concept a lot, but when I first saw it I was a bit skeptical about how it was turning out. His abstractions were INCREDIBLY abstract that, when I saw them in the garage, it was hard to see them the way he wanted me to.

However, his story of trying to make sense of the footage that he took of a homeless man who died a few days after the photos were taken was definitely interesting and better represented by his gallery show. The actual surveillance photos were included, which was a nice touch of realism amongst tons of Photoshopped images that had no recognizable human features in them. You could see Miles was really proud of what he did, and he should be. Even though I understand why he lost...I still can't BELIEVE it. While everyone on the Internet seems to think that Peregrine's show was the best, I really disagree. Miles' was the most coherent, even if it was the least visually compelling.

Oh, and Miles' parents had a nice house too. [/random]

Finally, we went to Abdi's house, where Abdi introduced Simon to his very nice mom that we all heard a lot about on the show. While Simon and Mrs. Abdi's Mom talked, Abdi made lots of his classic facial expressions. Someone needs to make me some .gifs of Abdi's face, because that boy has one BIG mouth that needs to be documented for all eternity. After Simon and Abdi's Mama were done blathering, Abdi brought Simon into his "cruddy" basement. I tell you, these editors became a lot better at making drama as time went on. The way this part was edited made it seem like Abdi was doing this completely horrible job - his ideas were good but his execution was awful and it was unlikely that these pieces would get better. Simon looked bewildered, confused, and I was sort of confused, too. I didn't think Abdi's pieces looked bad, but they tend not to look as good as they do in person on camera.

It was nice to see how friendly these guys were with each other. Usually in these kinds of shows, one of the final three is a "villain," or at least not liked by the other two. So it's good that Abdi, Miles, and Pere were such good friends. It was one of the things that contributed to making this episode so nice and calm. Really, it was not as climactic and intense as you'd think, except for the parts where Abdi rushes to put together his unfinished sculptures of the basketball players (that's what they were, right?). The two sculptures, when done, were laid on the floor and resembled "The Creation of Adam." That was a nice surprise, to see them turn out looking so well.

So Miles didn't win. I've established this. SO WHO DID? Those final minutes continue:

Jerry: Peregrine, gurl, you rocked it. You was fierce.
Me and My Sister: NO NOT PEREGRINE NO NO
Bill: Abdi, you da man.
Me and My Sister: ... :)
China: ABDI YOU WON YAY
Me and My Sister: NOT EXPECTING THAT BUT YESYESYESYESYESYES! ABDI WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Abdi is probably the single nicest person on television today. He was one of my favorites from the beginning, he and Miles. I thought for the longest time that his place in the Final Three would be inevitable, but as he started to falter I started to worry. So the fact that he came to win the whole thing was grand. A lot of people seem confused, but I see it this way: Abdi GREW the most. When he was good, he was REALLY good. When he was bad, he learned from those mistakes to turn it around. He was very inconsistent, but we must remember that he is also the youngest. I highly doubt there are real, successful artists out there who hit a home run every single time. Abdi was the most REAL out of the final three for this reason. He didn't play the game, creating a character (Miles) and he wasn't fake and irritating and obsessed with his quirkiness (Peregrine). In a medium that encourages you to be someone you're not, Abdi was wholly himself. And c'mon, he's just SUCH A NICE GUY. He deserved to win on that alone.

Even my mom, who had never seen an episode of the show before, was happy that Abdi won. Goes to show.

So congratulations Abdi, and I'll make sure to go see your show at the Brooklyn Museum whenever it is.

Yay, Abdi! :D

Read my reviews for Episode 4 and Episode 8.

And take your money! (Or, the Most Random Post Yet.)

The Swell Season covers Neutral Milk Hotel

I saw this on the AV Club this morning while searching for something to write. This cover is truly excellent, although the addition of "King of Carrot Flowers, Pts. 2 and 3" is a little...awkward. Mainly because that song alone is a little awkward. But whatever, that doesn't last that long! (P.S. I like "Two-Headed Boy, Pt. 2" better so you should go hear that song sometime, although Pt. 1 rules too.)

That aside - did I find something to write about? Sort of: Weezer revealed their new album cover. It's a picture of whatever Garcia's ugly face. People were joking when they heard that it was called Hurley that the cover would be a picture of Hurley from Lost's face, and unfortunately, it turns out that they did that exactly. So, for the third album in a row, the cover is AWFUL and seemingly a cruel joke. It's time I learned to stop caring about Weezer. The last time they made an album I actually liked was when I was 3 years old. I know that's cliche to say, that you don't like Weezer post-Pinkerton, but really, it's true. I find songs I like on all of their albums, but that doesn't mean I think they're comparable. (Hey, I can fit a shameless plug to an old post in right here!)


The Clientele covers M.I.A.

Here's another cover I like. Everyone knows "Paper Planes," yes? That song was probably my favorite thing about Slumdog Millionaire, which, in case you were wondering, is not nearly as good as everyone said it was. When it came out my parents both saw it somehow and insisted that my sister and I go see it because it was SO GOOD OHEMGEE. So then we saw it with our mom a few days after Christmas. I didn't like it that much, really. It's not bad or anything, just not as spectacular as everyone says. But what do I know? I saw it a day after The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and even though most people I know seem to think that movie sucks, I think I might have liked it more than Slumdog. And I mean, I don't even ever want to see it again, ever. So.

Speaking of things I don't like very much, I don't like very much that I lost that Charizard card of mine. You know, the really expensive one? It's just...gone. It makes me upset.

On an actually relevant parting note (since I need to go bury my head in shame now), here's a fanciful, helpful Pokemon "guide" that I found on Kotaku (CLICK FOR BIGGER):

Good day.

"Who wants to go to the hospital?"

No, unfortunately this post is not Arrested Development-related.

Check out this newest heart attack waiting to happen: the Friendly's Grilled Cheese Burger Melt:

Since KFC introduced the Double Down earlier this year, fast food chains are tripping over themselves to slap together as many of their limited menu items as possible. In the process they're churning out some pretty disturbing food-like substances.  

You can add the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt from the Friendly's restaurant chain to the growing list of WTFood items. This monster packs 1,500 calories and 97 grams of fat, but I guess that's what happens when you sell three sandwiches as one (at least it's two-thirds vegetarian!).

Disgusting. I'm not a fan of grilled cheese sandwiches and I don't eat beef, but even so: how can anyone be expected to eat this?! How could anyone ever take their kids to Friendly's and say, "Hmm, you know what, Sharon? I think I'll get that burger that's 75% grilled cheese sandwich, because having one or the other just isn't enough!" And then Sharon says, "Whatever you say, honey, I'm just the wife, and thus I have no say on anything." Her husband replies, "You're darn right you don't have any say!" And then Sharon dies a little more inside.

Despite this sandwich's obvious grossness, I'm not sure it truly beats the former King of Oh You Silly Obese Americans And Your Silly Fattening Burgers, KFC's Double Down.

The first time I ever saw this burger, I nearly vomited. It's hard to keep myself from doing it right now, in fact. Who could eat this?! Who? It doesn't even have any semblance of actual BREAD; it's just all MEATMEATMEATMEAT (and some cheese, and some mayo).

“For your real chicken sandwich lover, you no longer have to go to a burger place for a (not as tasty) chicken sandwich. This is so meaty, there is no room for the bun,” Maynard said. The latter quip will serve as the catchphrase in an upcoming national ad campaign to announce the Double Down.

The Double Down comes either grilled or fried with KFC’s Original Recipe. The fried version has 540 calories, 32 grams of fat and 1,380 milligrams of sodium. The grilled version has 460 calories, 23 grams of fat and 1,430 milligrams of sodium.

On the bright side, this excrement-resembling "treasure" is nowhere near as caloric and fattening as the Grilled Cheese Burger Melt. The magic of chicken! Believe me, there are few people out there who love chicken as much as I do, but I still can't believe that someone would actually be willing to eat this. Look at all of that sodium! Also, I have yet to see this grilled version. I wonder how the heck that could work. The fried version at least shapes the chicken into something bread-like (although it still totally looks like something you'd find in a diaper).

Which would you rather have send you to the hospital? The Grilled Cheese Burger Melt or the Double Down?

ETA: I know I sad I was taking the whole weekend off, but then I remembered that I have nothing else to do but post on my blog (or watch America's Next Top Model marathons; I've been doing that, too).

Is This Post Early Or Late?

Either way, I should go to bed! And so should you! No, I don't care if you just woke up and it's now 11 AM. Go back to bed.  It's the summer and you have no business being awake. EVIL STARE.

Here's some random stuff:



This one's an oldie, but a goodie. It is seriously hilarious. KIDS THESE DAYS. With their being werewolves and everything.



As detailed in my last post, sort of, I'm obsessed with all things Auto-Tune the News right now, including this adorable song. It's so catchy and adorable and you just have to love it! OR ELSE.



You may or may not have heard that Arcade Fire's concert last night was streamed LIVE on YouTube. Well, it was. It was really cool! I guess flashing lights and good camera angles can make anything seem epic, but these guys are the preeminent makers of epic-sounding music today, maybe. What do I know? Anyone who saw Where the Wild Things Are knows this song, "Wake Up," from that amazing trailer that was almost better than the movie itself (and I mean, it was a good movie, so), and while the quality of this isn't so good, it's something. This was the last song they played yesterday. You can download it here if you want to. If you don't, that's a'ight, that's a'ight. But I love this song.



Pull a lever or whatevah, right now, right now! (I rule at this level. SOULJA BOY TELL 'EM. ...what was that I don't even know~)

Collected random links:

• Again, "Wake Up" by Arcade Fire. In case you didn't feel like reading that part before.
• An article I read awhile ago about Joaquin Phoenix's documentary about his pathetic descent into insanity
• Jerry Saltz's recap for Wednesday's Work of Art. Seriously, WHY PEREGRINE OVER NICOLE?!? My sister and I were screaming. You would have been scared.

I'm taking the weekend off again. You know. PARTYIN'. (Or, um, sleeping in or something.) See you Monday.

This Day In Videos You Should Watch

I like the idea of calling my posts "Today In," but I don't want things to get repetitive. So I changed "today" to "this day" because for some reason I thought that was better!

Anyway, here are some videos that I've been watching lately. Mind you, I don't really watch videos that often, so the selection is kind of slim pickin's. (Do people use that phrase? I feel a little strange using it.)

Trololololo

This is a popular meme, and for good reason. It's really funny. Also, the song is so catchy; it's always stuck in my head. ALWAYS. ._. I think the best part of this is his face when he's singing. I'm pretty sure he's lip-syncing, because his mouth doesn't move at ALL. AT ALL! Watch it! It won't move!

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson

Pacey-Con with Joshua Jackson from Joshua Jackson

Pacey was the best character in Dawson's Creek, hands down, even if he was a little frightening and was the one that I'd vote "Most Likely to Murder the Other Characters in Their Sleep." So it wouldn't surprise me if there actually WAS a Pacey-Con. Sadly, there isn't, but Joshua Jackson tries his darnedest to start one. We should get this guy in some comedies. He has the "Clueless Egotist" part down pat.

30 Rock, Therapy with Jack and Tracy

An oldie but a goodie. This is the single greatest scene from 30 Rock. It's from the episode "Rosemary's Baby," which is in season 2 (the single greatest season of 30 Rock :D). The episode is pretty forgettable until you get to this scene. It cements the already-obvious fact that JACK DONAGHY IS ONE OF THE GREATEST CHARACTERS IN TV HISTORY. EVER.

 Justin Bieber in "The Great Escape"

That's my title for it, at least. Basically Biebs tries to flee from a mob of pubescent girls with raging hormones who are willing to do absolutely anything for him on a Segway. Is it just me or does J. Biebs have some funky priorities? He's willing to call some chick who doesn't even like him, apparently, his "baby, baby, baby, ooh" and tell her "one time that [he] loves [her]" but then when he actually meets girls that are interested in him, he flees! Makes you wonder.

"World News" by Local Natives

This is one of my favorite songs on their album, Gorilla Manor. Well, actually, I like all of the songs. "Cards and Quarters" and "Cubism Dream" are my least favorites, but even those I like. Anyway, this is one really, really weird video! But watching that little kid lip-sync to the song is enjoyable.

Auto-Tune the News: Bed Intruder Song

 

I LOVE Auto-Tune the News. Every episode of it is just awesome. (I think I'm going to rank the episodes some time. Just because I can.) Anyway, apparently this video of a guy being interviewed about some local rapist is making its rounds, and the Auto Tune the News guys (and girl) did their take on it. Obviously, it's amazing. SO CATCHY. "Hide your kids, hide your wife! Hide your kids, hide your wife!"

"Kiss" by Sandara Park Cover

Don't know who Sandara Park is? WHO CARES? This song is SERIOUSLY catchy. This is a cover that my friend did. She does dubs of different J-Pop/K-Pop, etc. songs on YouTube, so you should check out her other stuff! I JUST WANNA KISS I NEVER WANNA MISS~

So, those are my video recommendations for the day. Take them with a grain of salt because, honestly, what do I know? (Although if you don't even so much as grin at the 30 Rock video, I'd venture a guess that you have no soul.)

Silly Bands: America's Obsession With WHAT, Exactly?

WHEEE It's August. Actually, no, NOT "whee," because for most of us August means the end of vacation and preparing to return to that legalized prison called school. But let's try to make the best of this month while we still can, right? So we have this lovely little guest post by my gurl Blaire over here for you to enjoy so much that you wet your pants from laughing. Also, Blaire, don't feel bad about searching for Disney songs in multiple languages. That is actually a completely awesome way to spend you day. May I suggest "Be Prepared" in Japanese?

Hey, ya’ll. This is a guest post. While I’m here, I might as well shamelessly advertise my own blog: http://straightuppaulaabdul.blogspot.com/

So, y’know, when you’re done, you can go over there. :D

Anyway, so, I was in CVS a few weeks ago buying antibiotics and I saw this GIANT tub of Silly Bands where they were selling like four packs for a dollar. And this four year old was screaming her head off because her mom wasn’t letting her buy any.

Of course, because America is turning to a country of spoiled and obese morons, the mother eventually relented and let the girl buy a grand total of eight packs. But it made me wonder: what the hell do you need eight packs of Silly Bands for?

Now, I myself have a few Silly Bands of my own. I have a kangaroo, a saxophone, a flamingo, a bear, a football, a giraffe, and a baseball bat. Why do I have them? Conformity, I suppose. Also, they’re excellent tools for calming children down.

But, that’s not really my point. I guess what I’m wondering is: why do they exist in the first place? I’m sure some person was sitting home, alone, playing with a rubber band, and thought to themselves, “Wow, rubber bands suck. I wish I could make them more colorful! And into little shapes too! I’ll make a fortune!”

Well, congratulations, sir or ma’am. You were damn right. I’m sure you’re living luxuriously now, and instead of sitting home alone, you’re sitting home alone in a hot tub.

Now, I feel like American children have always had some psychological reasoning for the stuff they get into. Pokemon? To assert our authority over beings and each other with brute strength. Barbies? A girl (and gay guy’s) belief that with the right hair, makeup and outfit, there will be a muscular man with weird legs waiting for them. Lady Gaga?

…well, maybe she’s in the same boat as Silly Bands, but you get my point! Silly bands serve no other purpose other than to irritate our skin, serve our need to look at shapes and colors, and to pour more money back into the economy.

Oh my nonexistent deity of choice. This is Obama’s stimulus plan. Silly Bands. They appeal to basically everyone. I’ve seen forty-year-olds with them, I’ve seen teenagers with them, I’ve seen four-year-olds with them. They appeal to everyone. And their fun little shapes…they’re like a marketer's wet dream. And they’re easy to come by, and you sell them in bulk…guys, this is how Obama is planning to get America out of debt.

Except, I think they’re made in China, so that might end up backfiring on him. We’ll see.

At any rate, Silly Bands serve no purpose other than to entertain the masses, and serve as another thing for children to flip out over. I will never understand why a child absolutely must have something that fits around their wrist, is easily breakable, and frankly, looks ridiculously tacky.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this. After all, they’re Silly Bands. Maybe they’re not meant to have a purpose, other than to be ridiculously tacky. But I’m just saying…if the current ‘fad’ is colored rubber bands that bend into little shapes, America might want to give its mental state a quick once over.

But that’s coming from the girl who just spent the last three hours looking up Disney songs in multiple languages for no good reason other than that it sounds pretty. So, maybe America is mentally regressing, and this is just the sign. The beginning of the end, if you will.

So yeah…that’s my rambling-ish thing on Silly Bands. If you have any, don’t be offended. Remember that I have them too. If you don’t have them, don’t bother getting any. Like I said, there’s no point.

…Toodles!